a little visit {and letter}

hey brother!

we came to visit you the other day. you know, that day. it was pretty dreary. i was going to bring liam to meet you, but it was cold. and rainy. another time. we brought you some flowers :)  

I miss you! I'll come visit soon!

Love you!

Emily

a little letter

dear adam:

hey there brother! so, as you know, i had my baby. he's amazingly beautiful. i'm jealous that you got to know him before i ever did. you're pretty lucky. and he's lucky. he got to know you. i look at that perfect baby and i get scared. i get afraid that the world is going to get him just like it got you. i hope you'll watch over him. help him. keep the world away from him. i'm not as strong as mom is and i can't... just... can't. so be there. i wish you were here to hold him. and kiss him. and love him. i miss you.
love you,

emily

a little letter

hey.

so it happened again. this is getting ridiculous. so chad is learning to play the guitar. your guitar in fact. and he's learning to play blackbird. your song. and he's getting pretty good. and then today i'm sitting here listening to music and it comes on. and its beautiful. and it made me think of you. and then i started crying. so silly. thats okay. i don't mind too much. just as long as no one is around to see it happen. then i don't feel as embarrassed. anyway, thats all. i love you.

em

a little letter

hey brother:

its been a while since my last letter. how are you doing? so at work the other day this kid came through my line. blond hair. kinda scruffy. he made this face and it looked just like a face you used to make. and i missed you. again. still. and then the other day i was going through some things and i found a handkerchief kyles mom made for me. it has your name embroidered on it. and she included a copy of your obituary. and it happened again. still. always. at bad times. and i cry. every time. but its good. cause i know you have some company right this very second. my little boy is with you. you better tell him nice things about me. or else. (thats kind of a bad threat cause really, what can i even do to you? really?) you know that tree? its HUGE. you would be so proud. oh, we went to the temple. seeing your name on that little blue card was beyond weird. those aren't supposed to be people that you know. just strangers that died in like 1792 or something. not adam michael green april 27 1990. i didn't like it very much. but we were all there at the same time. you and everyone else. together just for a little while.anyway, i love you. keep being amazing. cause you always were and always will be.

love, em

why hello

Dear Adam,
So nice to visit you today. I don't know who brought you the lovely flowers, but they looked so nice. I hope you know what a lovely view you have around you. So very pretty.

Oh and just so you know, just across the way from you is an area especially designated for pets. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... enjoy!

Love, Emily

homeward bound

Dear Adam:
Its been a year.
This song still makes me cry. (If only we hadn't had it performed at your funeral...)
I'm glad I know you went home to be with our Heavenly Father.
I just wish I could have one more minute.
I love you.
I'll see you again. I know.
Love, Emily

 Homeward Bound

In the quiet misty morning when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing and the sky is clear and red.
When the summer’s ceased its gleaming,
When the corn is past its prime,
When adventure’s lost its meaning,
I’ll be homeward bound in time.

Bind me not to the pasture, chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling and I’ll return to you somehow.

If you find it’s me you're missing, if you’re hoping I’ll return.
To your thoughts I’ll soon be list’ning, and in the road I’ll stop and turn.
Then the wind will set me racing as my journey nears its end.
And the path I’ll be retracing when I’m homeward bound again.

Bind me not to the pasture, chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling and I’ll return to you somehow.

In the quiet misty morning when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing,
I’ll be homeward bound again.

music by marta keen, perfomed by the mormon tabernacle choir

apartment

dear aggie village:
the fact that you still smell weird, even after i thoroughly scrub and bleach you makes me nervous.

 is there something growing where i can't see it?

eek.

please smell normal.

thanks, 

emily

nine

Dear Husband:
Thanks for marrying me. And thanks for an awesome nine months. Can you believe how fast the time has gone by!!!?! I guess that only makes sense since I have spent it with my very best friend. You're pretty great. I love you.


And in honor of our nine months, here are nine things I LOVE about you!!!


1. I love the way you look when you get off work and take off your bandanna. Adorable.
2. I love the way you walk super speedy like.
3. I love it when you hold my hand just because.
4. I love the way you laugh when you laugh really hard. 
5. I love how the little things keep you entertained.
6. I love the way you tend to fall asleep with out even realizing it at any place and/or time.
7. I love when you get word vomit. Its great. I could listen to you always.
8. I love how you help me out when I don't ask... even when I don't notice.
9. I love that you are my best friend and that I get to do EVERYTHING with you if I want to. I want to. Always.


Love, Lady

So I found this picture and I love love love it. I don't know what was happening but the look on Darrell's face is priceless. I must have said something mean because he doesn't look too thrilled with me (but I sure thought I was funny... that's for sure).

May

So the last time I checked May was supposed to be a nice month.
You know, warming weather *occasional* cold storms, flowers, birds, blues skies... that sort of thing.
Here's my question...

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!

I swear. Snow? Really? I'm cool with rain. I am. But snow? Its time to be done.

Dear Mother Nature

Thank you for the abundance of moisture (*shudder*) but if you wanted to give us snow, it should have been during winter... you know, the snowy months. If you would like to continue to provide that much needed wetness, I will gladly accept rain. That is all.

Thanks, Emily


Oh and in other news, thanks family. I think you guys are fantastic and if I though I was a baby before for crying when I read my own posts... just imagine a leaky faucet and then add my face in and you get me when I read your comments.


I love them. I really do. So keep 'em coming!!!

Thanks :)

a{nother} little letter

dear adam,

i know i just wrote you a letter... but today is your birthday!

remember that one birthday where you got a cd player and the n'sync cd?

i was so jealous.

i love you

happy birthday

love, emily

(picture from family reunion 2008)

a little letter

dear adam:

the other night i was thinking about you.
i should have been sleeping. it was late. husband was asleep. but i couldn't.
there is this hole.
and i layed in bed trying not to cry late at night all alone.
but its there.
and it comes back whenever i picture your face. 
or think about that phone call when you were so excited that she called you back.
or those times you came to stay with me.
and when we went and applied for jobs together.

i still have your application in my car.

i can't throw it away.

i can't believe that it has almost been a year since that last time i drove away.
and dropped you off. 
i still get upset whenever i drive back there.
i want a hug. i want to see your smile. i want to see you pop out your pocket knife and laugh.


you know the way you would.


i wish i could talk to you.
tell you my secrets (you're good at keeping those)

i. miss. you. so. much. 
and that hole isn't going away yet.


i love you.


love, emily

dear gmail:

you make me angry. due to your inability to promptly deliver URGENT messages with TIME SENSITIVE information in them, i missed out on the opportunity to have an interview today. thanks for nothing. if you messed this up for me i do not think that we can ever be friends again. ever. 


dear husband:

thank you for helping me write a killer letter of explanation and apology to mr. rigby. hopefully he will understand the mistake that took place and give me a second chance. thanks for being patient with me. i love you.

so here's the scoop. you know how i told you about my application i sent in? well i was expecting to hear back from the guy pretty soon so i regularly check my email to see if mr boss man has responded yet. nothing. nothing yesterday and nothing today (at least the multiple times i checked today before i went into work at 4:30)

so i get home this evening and i check my email and what do i see? i response from mr boss man. YAY! he wants to set up an interview! double yay!!! but here's the kick in the face part:

I have openings at the following times: 4/23 –10:00, 10:30, 11:00, 11:30, 2:00, 2:30, 3:00, 3:30, 4:00

waaa? come again? its 11:30 at night on 4/23! where was this email on 4/20 like my stupid email says it was recieved? (which is impossible by the way because i hadn't even sent him my application back, which he thanked me for sending to him...) so stress quickly follows. luckily husband is pretty great and wrote a letter for me explaining what happened. good thing he was there... i probably would have just started crying if he hadn't been.

shoot dang.

i feel sick to my stomach now. i sure as crap hope this works out. i might cry if it doesn't.

*summer*

dear summer time:

i am ready for you

bring your sun, and your rain and your flowers and those blissful lazy days.

i am waiting

arms wide open

emily

letters

dear weather:
please decide what you're going to do. snow, or don't snow... just pick one.

dear graduate school:
please just pick me. i don't want to find you... can't you just do all that work instead?

dear walmart:
you really aren't as bad as i think you are... i just don't like some of the people that come in. or working in general. not your fault.

dear summer time:
COME NOW

dear computer chair:
this morning when you broke when i sat on you, it hurt. so just for that, i'm going to put you in the garbage can. HA

dear pink nail polish:

love.
:D

dear adam:
missing you

dear husband:
you make my heart happy.

a little letter

dear adam,

hi brother.
how are ya?
i keep having this thing happen where i really miss you.





i'm sorry.

i'm sorry that we weren't better friends for such a long time.
i know we started getting there but then this thing happened and now you are gone.
i found that picture you took.
the one of me and d in the store.
and i think about that time we got a shake.
and how we applied for jobs together.
and i think about how fun you were.
and how you promised me you would buy me a car when you got rich because you knew that i would never be rich... silly
and how cute you were and how excited you were when you finished building you computer and really wanted to show somebody how awesome it was.

it was awesome.

i'm sorry that i wasn't there for you like i should have been.

i love you and i miss you.

love emily

dear woman at walmart-
i do not appreciate it when you throw your change on the counter. i do not appreciate it when you throw your change on the *moving* belt. i do not appreciate it when you throw your change at all. my out stretched hand is not me showing off my stunning bone structure, but rather me inviting you to gently place your change in it. you may think you are better than me, and refuse to make eye contact and/or respond to my very kind phrasing of "how are you doing today?" but you are not. you are not better than me in any way, shape or form. the mere fact that i work at walmart neither gives you the right or the privilege to think so. i work at walmart not because i want to, no, because i need to. i need to pay rent. and if it were to all come down to it, i would rather work at walmart than be you. so next time you come in, maybe you should consider the fact that i am a human being and if some one treated your daughter the way you treat me, you would probably very upset.

sincerely emily

dear kind person at walmart:
thank you for placing your like items together on the belt. not only does that make my job easier, but it gets you out even faster. thank you for placing you money in my hand rather than throw it at me. i don't feel like a cheap hooker because of this simple thought. thank you for smiling at me and responding when i talk to you and treating me like i exist. cause i do.

sincerely, emily

a little letter

Dear Adam,

I really miss you. I wish you could be here to make me laugh. And give me one of your famous bear hugs. I sure hate these hard days.

Love you,

Emily

a little letter...

Dear Adam,

Hey brother! How are you doing? I hope just super fantastic! I really miss you, you know? I got a job at Walmart (stop laughing) and I just wanted you to know that thanks to you , every time somone comes through my line with certain vegetables (you know the ones) I can't help but laugh. Oh yeah, and for some reason I thought of when we got milkshakes and you got that cookie dough one? Remember? And you couldn't talk cause there was so much goodness at the bottom of it? Good times.
Its almost Christmas. I know, I know, you always acted like you were so put out to do 'family togetherness' stuff but I really wish you could be here to do it with us. Did you hear that Sean got his mission call? Don't worry, Dad didn't tell me either. I found out two days before his farewell!!! Rude. Oh yeah and Dad also got a new car. Its freakin' sweet. Though, I don't think you would love the bass so much... it kind of sucks. Bonnie tested it out.
Anyway, I love you. I can't wait to see you again.

I love you

Emily

and then it was december...

I don't know where the month went, but I'm happy to report that I am doing super and so is husband. I finally broke down today when the thermostat read below 60 degrees and turned the heat up. We are slowly accepting the fact that it is going to be a long and freezing winter and I can't help but wish that it would start snowing at any point in time because at least then it will warm up a little. (that's sick. just read that sentence again. bleh.) I have started putting up Christmas decorations around our little apartment and I am eagerly awaiting our NEW COUCH to arrive at the furniture store any day now!! (don't worry, I'll but up pictures.) I don't really think I have anything new to report just yet, but I'll keep ya posted!

ps

dear husband,
thank you oh so much for cleaning today. it really really really made me happy to walk in and see clean-ness all aroung. you are the bestest ever and i love you!

love, lady


m

}i{ (butterflies)

Dear husband:

Do you remember when you walked into the apartment the other day after school? And I just smiled at you? Well you looked unbelievably cute. And I was suffering from a major case of butterflies. Thanks.

Love,
Emily