Love is a do-it-yourself kit. We have to work at it, put it together day by day, piece by piece, little by little. We have to work at love. It doesn't just happen.
Furthermore, love is not an emotion, a feeling. It is a commitment to another person: 'I love you. I am going to be what you need me to be. I a going to do what you need me to do. I am going to say what you need me to say. This is what I mean when I say "I love you". If you succeed I will rejoice with you in your success. I will be in the first row of your cheering section, clapping my hands off for you. If you fail, I will be sitting there quietly at your side, holding your hand. this is what I mean when I say I am committed to loving you.'
Love is a sweet and beautiful thing. It also will challenge every ounce of determination and courage in us. It is a gutsy commitment that invites another to 'take us for granted'. Take my love as a given. (John Powell SJ)
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, August 01, 2019
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
The Blessing of Service
...strangely, we ourselves are being blessed. Individuals whose lives had been relatively comfortable, discover that by offering mercy and grace to someone who has lived on the edge of life, they themselves receive mercy and grace. Communities which had been caught up in minor internal squabbles, forget their differences in the face of a greater challenge. And denominations are together discovering a common mission in the service of Christ.
from this account of how churches are involved in helping refugees in E and SE Europe.
from this account of how churches are involved in helping refugees in E and SE Europe.
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Amazing Grace
Its simply staggering to read what the families of the victims of the Charleston shootings said in court this week:
Speaking to Dylann Roof in court, she said: "I just want everybody to know, to you, I forgive you. You took something very precious away from me. I will never talk to her ever again. I will never be able to hold her again but I forgive you. And have mercy on your soul. You hurt me, you hurt a lot of people, but God forgive you, and I forgive you.
"Depayne Doctor was my sister. And I too thank you [the judge], on the behalf of my family, for not allowing hate to win. For me, I'm a work in progress, and I acknowledge that I am very angry but one thing Depayne ...taught me [is that] we are the family that love built. We have no room for hate so we have to forgive. I pray God on your soul and I thank God that I won't be around when your judgement day comes with him. May God bless you."
Gun control will take weapons out of peoples hands, and yet again the USA will agonise but do nothing. Only this God-given ability to love, to forgive and show grace will bring and end to violence. These are truly incredible responses - I'm sure my natural reaction would be revenge and anger, but my brothers and sisters in Charleston remind me that Jesus' people can do better than that.
Monday, February 09, 2015
50 Shades of Whitewash
"Your desire will be for your man and he will rule over you" (Gen 3:16)
These words summarise the brokenness in sexuality and male-female relations that follows the arrival of sin in the world. They aren't something to be celebrated, or repackaged as arousing and fun, or sold at the cinema or the bookstall for profit, they are to be mourned.
Love is fully love when it lays down its life for the other person. That's why marriage is not a contract, signing up to do x in return for y, but a covenant, a solemn, mutual, unconditional lifelong promise. Call me old fashioned, but it's the only context where lovemaking makes sense. To give your body without giving your heart, mind, soul and strength is to fracture our sexuality from the rest of us.
These words summarise the brokenness in sexuality and male-female relations that follows the arrival of sin in the world. They aren't something to be celebrated, or repackaged as arousing and fun, or sold at the cinema or the bookstall for profit, they are to be mourned.
Love is fully love when it lays down its life for the other person. That's why marriage is not a contract, signing up to do x in return for y, but a covenant, a solemn, mutual, unconditional lifelong promise. Call me old fashioned, but it's the only context where lovemaking makes sense. To give your body without giving your heart, mind, soul and strength is to fracture our sexuality from the rest of us.
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
'If you disagree with me, I have to love you more'
from Justin Welbys address to Synod this week:
....the future of the Communion requires sacrifice. The biggest sacrifice is that we cannot only work with those we like, and hang out with those whose views are also ours. Groups of like-minded individuals meeting to support and encourage each other may be necessary, indeed often are very necessary, but they are never sufficient. Sufficiency is in loving those with whom we disagree. What may be necessary in the way of party politics, is not sufficient in what might be called the polity of the Church.
In this Church of England we must learn to hold in the right order our calling to be one and our calling to advance our own particular position and seek our own particular views to prevail in the Church generally, whether in England or around the world. We must speak the truth in love.
In practice that has to mean the discipline of meeting with those with whom we disagree and listening to each other carefully and lovingly. It means doing that as much as when we meet with those with whom we do agree, whether it is during sessions of General Synod or at other times. It means celebrating our salvation together and praying together to the God who is the sole source of our hope and future, together. It means that even when we feel a group is beyond the pale for its doctrine, or for its language about others or us, we must love. Love one another, love your neighbour, love your enemy. Who in the world is in none of those categories?
the title of this blog post is a saying of the great George Bebawi, one of my tutors at vicar college. It's a reminder that following Jesus means we make more effort, not less, with those whom we don't see eye to eye with. It may be that one of them is Jesus (Matthew 25:31-end)
....the future of the Communion requires sacrifice. The biggest sacrifice is that we cannot only work with those we like, and hang out with those whose views are also ours. Groups of like-minded individuals meeting to support and encourage each other may be necessary, indeed often are very necessary, but they are never sufficient. Sufficiency is in loving those with whom we disagree. What may be necessary in the way of party politics, is not sufficient in what might be called the polity of the Church.
In this Church of England we must learn to hold in the right order our calling to be one and our calling to advance our own particular position and seek our own particular views to prevail in the Church generally, whether in England or around the world. We must speak the truth in love.
In practice that has to mean the discipline of meeting with those with whom we disagree and listening to each other carefully and lovingly. It means doing that as much as when we meet with those with whom we do agree, whether it is during sessions of General Synod or at other times. It means celebrating our salvation together and praying together to the God who is the sole source of our hope and future, together. It means that even when we feel a group is beyond the pale for its doctrine, or for its language about others or us, we must love. Love one another, love your neighbour, love your enemy. Who in the world is in none of those categories?
the title of this blog post is a saying of the great George Bebawi, one of my tutors at vicar college. It's a reminder that following Jesus means we make more effort, not less, with those whom we don't see eye to eye with. It may be that one of them is Jesus (Matthew 25:31-end)
Saturday, October 04, 2014
Disappearing up our own selfie
What with the woman who married herself, and Stephen Fry declaring that his drug use affected nobody but himself, the first week of October 2014 may mark the point at which our culture disappeared up its own selfie in pursuit of individualistic self-love.
I'm preaching in the morning on the 60 or so 'one another' sayings in the New Testament, and struggling with the limitations of the English language. So much of it is written to 'you' - which, reading the Bible on my own, in my own room, in my own time, in my own way, naturally must be the singular form. Not so. As the Texan Bible reveals, most of it is written to 'Y'all', the plural 'you', it is instructions to a community, to be read, understood and applied in community.
Maybe this is why we talk about rights so much, because we no longer think relationally. A right is something owed to an individual, and is regulated by law. We need them, but for normal personal relationships to be conducted on this basis shows that those relationships have broken down. To the early church, resorting to law to settle issues was a serious failure, because the gold standard was to sort things out in relationship.
Among church members now, most of our lives are lived apart from one another, so it's naturally to think individualistically when applying the Bible to our lives, in contrast with the communal spirit of Acts 2 (daily meeting together, eating, learning and sharing life). So both our culture, and the structure of our lives, make it hard to hear the Bible saying what it is really saying.
What happens when a selfie culture reads an ussie Bible?
I'm preaching in the morning on the 60 or so 'one another' sayings in the New Testament, and struggling with the limitations of the English language. So much of it is written to 'you' - which, reading the Bible on my own, in my own room, in my own time, in my own way, naturally must be the singular form. Not so. As the Texan Bible reveals, most of it is written to 'Y'all', the plural 'you', it is instructions to a community, to be read, understood and applied in community.
Maybe this is why we talk about rights so much, because we no longer think relationally. A right is something owed to an individual, and is regulated by law. We need them, but for normal personal relationships to be conducted on this basis shows that those relationships have broken down. To the early church, resorting to law to settle issues was a serious failure, because the gold standard was to sort things out in relationship.
Among church members now, most of our lives are lived apart from one another, so it's naturally to think individualistically when applying the Bible to our lives, in contrast with the communal spirit of Acts 2 (daily meeting together, eating, learning and sharing life). So both our culture, and the structure of our lives, make it hard to hear the Bible saying what it is really saying.
What happens when a selfie culture reads an ussie Bible?
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Love Is....
The following piece was penned for the local newspaper, but as a dedicated recycler....
"Love is
patient
love is
kind
Love does
not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud
Love is
not rude, it is not self-seeking
it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
It always
protects, always trusts
always
hopes, always perseveres."
It’s the height of the wedding
season. In line with national trends, we’re doing more weddings this year at
St. James than last year, which in turn was busier than the year before. More
often than not, the couple choose these famous words as one of the readings.
Originally written by St. Paul 2000 years ago to a feuding church in Corinth,
they’ve stood the test of time as a vivid picture of love in action.
Standing in front of the newly
married Mr and Mrs, I ask them to take that reading, and cross out the word
‘love’. Then write in their own first name. David is patient (#fail) David is
kind (sometimes), David does not envy … I’ll stop there. You can tell a lot
about the character of the bride and
groom from the amount of laughter coming from their guests at each line!
The words from Corinthians act as
a plumb-line, a standard that we can measure ourselves against, because love
can grow, or it can decay. One trend that really encourages me is the number of
couples doing marriage preparation with us. Not preparation for the event, but
for married life after it. How to talk, how to forgive, how to resolve
conflict, agreeing your goals and values, working out a pattern of time together
and apart.
All the couples who do marriage
prep find it hugely helpful. Often the men need dragging along to the first
session, but by week 3 everyone is telling their workmates about it.
Having time to take stock, to learn, to invest in each other, is the best time
a couple can spend before their wedding day.
It really doesn’t matter how much
you spend in cash on the celebrations, its what you spend on each other in
time, attention and love that makes the difference. Marriages might be made in
heaven, but the couple pick up the maintenance contract.
And what’s true for marriage is true for friendship, and for our own
characters as well. We reap what we sow. CS Lewis wrote “Good and evil both increase at compound
interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such
infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic
point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you
never dreamed of.” (yes, I know I posted the same quote yesterday)
When I
stand in front of the happy couple, I pray that they’ll make a daily decision
to love. When it’s easy, and when it’s hard. So that each time they put their
name into the Corinthians reading, they’ll find it’s a little closer to the
truth.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Forget Mission
I came across the following snippet in an Anglican course designed for local churches. It's an audio interview, and I'm still chewing it over
How is the local church best equipped to meet the challenge of being missionary?
"By forgetting that it's to be missionary, but remembering the extent of God's love for us, and demonstrating God's love for us. If we do things because we are trying to be missionary, we will fail. If we do things because we have been loved, we are called to love, and we practice love, then we will effectively do mission. But if we do mission because we ought to, (or from guilt, a sense of being holier than thou) we will fail."
I'm struggling with this on several fronts:
- Jesus gave the church a clear mission, and it's reinforced in the New Testament. The recent history of the Church of England is that we have forgotten to be missionary, and just assumed that being nice and meeting once a week would suffice to disciple a nation. That's been, to use the lingo, an epic fail.
- It creates a false dichotomy: the assumption that people are only overtly missionary from a sense of guilt, obligation or a sense of superiority. In my experience, those aren't the only reasons why people are motivated to mission. I don't see that in Jesus, Paul, Peter or the other early missionaries, or in more recent examples like Jackie Pullinger, Brother Andrew or the Chinese martyrs
- The church has obligations, those laid upon it by Jesus, because we don't naturally love, forgive, make disciples etc. and so his clear marching orders to the church hold us to the course, strap us to the mast, of things we might otherwise find too hard or shy away from.
- The church is not called to do mission, it is called by God to share in his. We have a vocation. In the end it's not about God's love for us, the church, or individuals, but about his love for the whole of creation, and the church called to be partners in redeeming it.
- As a local mission enabler, I'm not quite sure where all this places my role.
It feels like it takes one aspect of the witness of the church (the regular refrain of the New Testament that the quality of the life and love of Christians is a witness to Jesus, one picked up well by Graham Tomlin in 'the Provocative Church') and turns it into the whole of the witness of the church. In fact, one reason the NT stresses the quality of community life and mutual love, is because it is missional. Mission and love are inseparable, rather than one entirely swallowing the other.
Or am I missing something?
How is the local church best equipped to meet the challenge of being missionary?
"By forgetting that it's to be missionary, but remembering the extent of God's love for us, and demonstrating God's love for us. If we do things because we are trying to be missionary, we will fail. If we do things because we have been loved, we are called to love, and we practice love, then we will effectively do mission. But if we do mission because we ought to, (or from guilt, a sense of being holier than thou) we will fail."
I'm struggling with this on several fronts:
- Jesus gave the church a clear mission, and it's reinforced in the New Testament. The recent history of the Church of England is that we have forgotten to be missionary, and just assumed that being nice and meeting once a week would suffice to disciple a nation. That's been, to use the lingo, an epic fail.
- It creates a false dichotomy: the assumption that people are only overtly missionary from a sense of guilt, obligation or a sense of superiority. In my experience, those aren't the only reasons why people are motivated to mission. I don't see that in Jesus, Paul, Peter or the other early missionaries, or in more recent examples like Jackie Pullinger, Brother Andrew or the Chinese martyrs
- The church has obligations, those laid upon it by Jesus, because we don't naturally love, forgive, make disciples etc. and so his clear marching orders to the church hold us to the course, strap us to the mast, of things we might otherwise find too hard or shy away from.
- The church is not called to do mission, it is called by God to share in his. We have a vocation. In the end it's not about God's love for us, the church, or individuals, but about his love for the whole of creation, and the church called to be partners in redeeming it.
- As a local mission enabler, I'm not quite sure where all this places my role.
It feels like it takes one aspect of the witness of the church (the regular refrain of the New Testament that the quality of the life and love of Christians is a witness to Jesus, one picked up well by Graham Tomlin in 'the Provocative Church') and turns it into the whole of the witness of the church. In fact, one reason the NT stresses the quality of community life and mutual love, is because it is missional. Mission and love are inseparable, rather than one entirely swallowing the other.
Or am I missing something?
Monday, May 21, 2012
Doing good to feel better: Mental Health Awareness Week 21-27 May
It doesn't seem that long ago that it was depression awareness week, but this week is Mental Health Awareness Week. Great to see the focus of the week this year:
Doing Good Does You Good: Research shows that doing good and helping others is good for your mental health.
As one of the five main ways to manage your wellbeing, we are asking everyone to get involved by carrying out acts of kindness for strangers throughout this year's Mental Health Awareness Week, which runs from 21 - 27 May. Carry out one act of kindness every day....
You could:
•Pass on a compliment
•Smile and say thank you
•Acts of kindness to friends or strangers
•Get involved in a cause that means a lot to you
•Volunteer your time
People are posting examples of their random acts of kindness on a Facebook page. It's actually really uplifting just reading what other people have done. A report from the Mental Health foundation, released to coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week, speaks of a widespread sense that people are becoming more selfish, and are less likely to go out of their way to help strangers.
There's a really good 'Pocket Guide to helping others' free to download, which is a great thing to have whether you've got mental health problems or not. Whatever you think about the Big Society, it would be great for something like this to become a national talking point.
Doing Good Does You Good: Research shows that doing good and helping others is good for your mental health.
As one of the five main ways to manage your wellbeing, we are asking everyone to get involved by carrying out acts of kindness for strangers throughout this year's Mental Health Awareness Week, which runs from 21 - 27 May. Carry out one act of kindness every day....
You could:
•Pass on a compliment
•Smile and say thank you
•Acts of kindness to friends or strangers
•Get involved in a cause that means a lot to you
•Volunteer your time
People are posting examples of their random acts of kindness on a Facebook page. It's actually really uplifting just reading what other people have done. A report from the Mental Health foundation, released to coincide with Mental Health Awareness Week, speaks of a widespread sense that people are becoming more selfish, and are less likely to go out of their way to help strangers.
There's a really good 'Pocket Guide to helping others' free to download, which is a great thing to have whether you've got mental health problems or not. Whatever you think about the Big Society, it would be great for something like this to become a national talking point.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Late Valentine: A Win-Win Gift
Spent Valentines night doing our marriage preparation course, which seemed like an appropriate way to spend Feb 14th. Must be the recession, that they'd all rather be at a free evening in church than an expensive restaurant.
In the meantime, God and Politics has some good stuff on National Marriage Week and the up and coming National Parenting Initiative, which is encouraging local churches to offer more in the way of parenting support.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
High Street Good Samaritan
The most obvious translation of the parable of the Good Samaritan into the present day is the 'have a go heroes' who intervene when someone is getting beaten up by a gang. Here is a different version of the story, involving a man on the road from M&S to WHS.....
Whilst in Yeovil WH Smiths today I witnessed an elderly gent being accosted by the Talk Talk sales team (Safety in number). They enticed him into a conversation which it was obvious he did not want.
I left them to talk for a while, I was in no doubt this gent did not have the slightest interest in the product. The sales man was still keen to keep going.Enough was enough, I intervened, I asked the gent if he wanted to know more or be free to continue on his day. The gent looked relieved.
I asked to see a manger for WH Smiths, I think I spoke to the assistant manger (no introduction or badge). Who didn’t really appear even slightly interested, he said that the sales people on the door are arranged by head office, and that they had complaints before. With a little more pressure he agreed to speak to the sales people.
Save someone from a gang of robbers today! Thinking about Christian witness on the high street, maybe a far more effective and loving 'ministry' would be to replace the open air preaching/drama/dance/thurible juggling with teams of Good Samaritans who can loiter near the people with clipboards who prowl the pedestrianised zones and shopping centres, intervening to give people the chance to walk away if it looks like they're being pressurised into signing anything.
ht Yeovil Blog.
Whilst in Yeovil WH Smiths today I witnessed an elderly gent being accosted by the Talk Talk sales team (Safety in number). They enticed him into a conversation which it was obvious he did not want.
I left them to talk for a while, I was in no doubt this gent did not have the slightest interest in the product. The sales man was still keen to keep going.Enough was enough, I intervened, I asked the gent if he wanted to know more or be free to continue on his day. The gent looked relieved.
I asked to see a manger for WH Smiths, I think I spoke to the assistant manger (no introduction or badge). Who didn’t really appear even slightly interested, he said that the sales people on the door are arranged by head office, and that they had complaints before. With a little more pressure he agreed to speak to the sales people.
Save someone from a gang of robbers today! Thinking about Christian witness on the high street, maybe a far more effective and loving 'ministry' would be to replace the open air preaching/drama/dance/thurible juggling with teams of Good Samaritans who can loiter near the people with clipboards who prowl the pedestrianised zones and shopping centres, intervening to give people the chance to walk away if it looks like they're being pressurised into signing anything.
ht Yeovil Blog.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
St. Valentines Day Mass Exit
There are some special CofE resources for Valentines Day, which happens to fall on a Sunday this year (that was careless, I hope Sunday is ok*). Some of the ideas for marking this sound quite fun, but something is niggling me. Looking around the families at our church, there's probably a minority headed up by married couples who are both church members. Some are families where only one parent is a Christian, other are single parent families, some are couples with children who aren't married. So if we did anything Valentiney in a main service, it would be deeply uncomfortable for a large section of the church, so much so that they might even stay away.
We'll be picking up on a theme of love and relationships in our cafe service this Sunday, but trying to approach it from an angle that everyone can engage* with. Can a church (or any community) with a mixed economy of family structure celebrate marriage without that being uncomfortable for some? We provide overt support for marriage through things like our marriage preparation course (which seems to be accumulating 2 new couples a week at the moment), does overt support for single parents just come across as patronising, or are their places where this works well?
Of course we could make it really uncomfortable, and re-enact the life of St. Valentine himself. The legend has it that he was a priest imprisoned under Roman emperor Claudius for secretly marrying Christian couples. According to Wikipedia "this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn't finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate." That could make for an interesting act of worship....
*sorry
We'll be picking up on a theme of love and relationships in our cafe service this Sunday, but trying to approach it from an angle that everyone can engage* with. Can a church (or any community) with a mixed economy of family structure celebrate marriage without that being uncomfortable for some? We provide overt support for marriage through things like our marriage preparation course (which seems to be accumulating 2 new couples a week at the moment), does overt support for single parents just come across as patronising, or are their places where this works well?
Of course we could make it really uncomfortable, and re-enact the life of St. Valentine himself. The legend has it that he was a priest imprisoned under Roman emperor Claudius for secretly marrying Christian couples. According to Wikipedia "this priest was condemned to death. He was beaten with clubs and stoned; when that didn't finish him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate." That could make for an interesting act of worship....
*sorry
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Are You a Ninja?
Came across this on 6Eight, clever, though I'm niggled by a slight concern that it falls foul of de-Christian doctrine no.3 (see Tuesday mornings post). Part of the ninja mission is to recruit and train more ninjas, and to introduce them to the supreme ninja. Having said that, this looks like its aimed at people outside the church, so it doesn't have to tick every doctrinal box that picky evangelicals like me want to wedge it into.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
God is not an Old Man
Great song, great vid
Ht Waiting for the Day via Shallowfrozenwater. I'm sure a couple of those lines are inspired by 'Breathe Deep' by Lost Dogs, but we'll let that pass.
Ht Waiting for the Day via Shallowfrozenwater. I'm sure a couple of those lines are inspired by 'Breathe Deep' by Lost Dogs, but we'll let that pass.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Feet and Knees
Had the privilege of putting someone elses shoes and socks on for them today, so that they could come home from hospital. It wasn't planned like that, but it was a bit of a Maundy Thursday moment.
Jesus washes the disciples feet, then tells them to copy him. Why?
- Because you can only wash feet on your knees. And that's where you pray. What we are on our knees before God, that is what we are and nothing else.
- On your knees you get to look into the faces of those who can't stand, and the faces of children. You can't do that if you're standing up.
- Washing feet gives service the priority over status. Jesus doesn't care about his reputation, and Christians shouldn't care about their reputation either.
- Washing feet is love in action. We have songs and words galore about love, but God so loved the world that he gave: he did something. There's an article in todays local paper about the launc of Yeovil's new Street Pastors team - several of those interviewed say how good it is that someone is doing something, rather than just talking about doing something.
Jesus washes the disciples feet, then tells them to copy him. Why?
- Because you can only wash feet on your knees. And that's where you pray. What we are on our knees before God, that is what we are and nothing else.
- On your knees you get to look into the faces of those who can't stand, and the faces of children. You can't do that if you're standing up.
- Washing feet gives service the priority over status. Jesus doesn't care about his reputation, and Christians shouldn't care about their reputation either.
- Washing feet is love in action. We have songs and words galore about love, but God so loved the world that he gave: he did something. There's an article in todays local paper about the launc of Yeovil's new Street Pastors team - several of those interviewed say how good it is that someone is doing something, rather than just talking about doing something.
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