IF

with real toads

If what were left
of you
was water
instead of dust
I'd drink a little
of you
each day
and piss you out
in the mornings
like dew drops
on the heather
then wait for you
to rise
into the clouds
and  pray
for stormy weather

PARADE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

gave my buddy a lift
to the V.A.

waited for him
in the lobby
to a slow and steady
military parade of

walkers
wheelchairs
and canes

walkers...

wheelchairs...

and canes

in and out
in and out
in and out

the door

as the music speakers played
"What A Wonderful World"

CONSIDER

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

dVerse

I really don't care
what you DO
really I don't
cuz anything between two
or three
or more
consenting pervs
is alright with me
just tell me how
it makes you FEEL
like the first time
you cheated on your man
did it make you feel
guilty?
dirty?
giddy?
confused?
like in high school when
you walked past those boys
who always muttered something
beneath their breath
and then you took to not wearing a bra
when you passed by
cuz it made you feel giddy
just to gauge their reaction
as you pretended
(with that haughty look
your species has perfected )
not to notice them


Sight alone cannot authenticate
that something is real
(for it may be a dream)
you've got to take it into your grasp
and FEEL

As one who has attempted
on numerous occasions
to bridge the gap between
fantasy and reality
I want you to consider dangerous things
i want you to THINK about crossing
that line
whether you do or not
is of no import to me
just as long as you look me
in the eye
and tell me how it makes you
FEEL
make it real
so that maybe
for the first time in your life
you'll be free

AND THE WORD WAS MADE FLESH

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

If ever I go berserk, I won't go running amuck
through the streets...I'll just go out and spend
every last dime I have on books.

Today I've taken to rubbing the covers (front and back)
of my favorite volumes all across my skin--all over my body.
(And yes, YOUR tome as well--you know who you are!)
The glossy finishes glide smoother than the matte.
 No matter. It is pure ecstasy.
 (The fact that you cannot do this with an e-book should not be lost on you.)

Never before have I derived so much pleasure from the written word.
Soon I'll open them to certain pages--my favorite passages--
and follow through in similar fashion.
(This is called absorbing the material.)
I know....I know...I did the same when I was twelve,
but those were magazines with pictures.
I've grown beyond that adolescent stage
into a pure "lover" of the written word.
An ageless, timeless, complete love!
I knew that I would find it someday,
and what a surprise to find it right there under my nose!

Make love to what you love.

Uh oh... I'm starting to feel that urge again...
that craving...to go out and score...about a dozen more.
There's a used book sale the public library
is putting on down the street. A buck for a book!
(Sometimes fifty cents.)
Somebody stop me!
Read the first fifty pages--
if it doesn't grab you by then, move on.
(Good advice for any relationship.)

It is enough just to have them,
Stacked here, there and everywhere.
Don't worry, I'll find SOMEPLACE to put them!

Books up da butt.

AVOIDANCE AS A WAY OF LIFE

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

We used to be so much more
adventurous
when'er the phone would ring.
Remember when there was no
caller I.D.
and you were at the mercy of every
con artist and old girlfriend
you were trying to avoid?
Before voice mail
there was no choice--
you had to answer it
and take your chances.

We don't need that level
of owning up--
coming clean--anymore.
Leave a message
if you've got nothing to say.
Obla di, obla da, life goes on.
I'd rather sit here in silence
the whole day long
than try to explain to you, my dear,
why you've got the wrong number.

JUST NORTH OF SOUTH KOREA

Everywhere the pudgy

little guy

appears in public,

the people all around

are applauding. 

CLAP CLAP CLAP!

They don't want to think

about the reason why...


Applaud or die.

DEEP THOUGHT # 42

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

Women complain
that their men
don't talk to them
but wise men understand
that the more you say
the likelier it is
you'll find yourself
eating your words
for breakfast 

THE BAG

Imaginary Garden With Real Toads

I

Here's the deal
either everything is aware
or nothing is 

Besides me that is

Oh, that's solipsistic...
but not totally
cuz I'll acknowledge you
and only you
as I know you are reading these words
AT THIS VERY MOMENT
(and that makes me psychic)
and it makes us intimately connected

So I just wanna know...
how come you never call??? 

II

I noticed an author advertising her book
as being a "clean romance"
I guess that's one where
nobody gets into anybody's pants
a kind of never ending dance
where everybody goes back home
and takes a cold shower

But real life is dirty
so very down and dirty
and I don't mind you dirty little girls
and boys
as long as you quit
making so damn much noise

III

It's really quite simple
though the philosophers have tried
to make it mysterious

Either you go on
(the part of you that is aware)
or you don't
and therefore no one should be afraid
of non-existence
if it really existed that is
the complete cessation of all

joy
pain
angst
bullshit

would really be quite good
but sorry to inform you
that for that to ever be
then the opposite (you and me)
would have to never have been
don't you see
and it's a bit late for that

The cat
is out of the bag
for ever 
and ever 
and ever
and he's shitting
all over the carpet
as we speak
the sound of the universe
misinterpreted for lo these many eons

It isn't OMMMMM
my friend...
just a cosmic
echoing
MEEEOOOW!