What a Hot Mess: Dancing With The Stars Releases It's List of "Has Beens" and "Never Were" Contestants

Seriously?  What the hell is going on with ABC?  Did they drink a bottle of Jack Daniels, and play a few rounds of strip poker to come up with this hot mess?  No.  Really?  Did they sit around and talk about what slut or ho was going to take the crown this season?  

OMG, and then you ask why Ryan and I stopped watching this god-forsaken show!  Once Julianne Hough left, it became a fucking joke!  Or better yet, an outrageous nightmare!

Image courtesy of Michael K

First you have Carson Kressley - the most flamboyant, loud-mouthed gay on all the planet and Chaz Bono - the first "I'm a lesbian," then "a chick with a dick," and now, a she who made herself a he.  Too fucked up?  Well.... cough, cough... you haven't heard nothing yet...

Next... you have Nancy Grace, the self-appointed former lawyer who can put a laughing-hyena to shame.  If I wanted to watch a screaming lunatic dance for her life (oh wait, that's So You Think You Can Dance..oh well), I would watch Lion King while on crack.  The bitch still dreams and screams of revenge for Casey Anthony.

Okay, okay... I do like Ricki Lake, we all know she's taking that stupid mirrored-disco-ball trophy home.  I mean c'mon... Hairspray, Helloooooo??? 

I also like Chynna Phillips from the group Wilson Phillips but really... did they have to add David Arquette?  What a hot fucking mess!  And why do we need another Kardashian - Rob, really?  I've had enough of that annoying family! 

Finally, JR Martinez, he's an Iraq war veteran, enough said.  Well... he did become a soap star, and that's the only messy thing about him that I could think of.

I don't really know too much about the other "never were" contestants in this lineup, but here you go...  Ron Artest, Kristin Calamaris, Hope Solo, and Elisabeta Canalis.

God bless all of you who are watching this hot mess, because it's definitely a list of "has-beens" and people who "never were."