This entry is specially for acne sufferer like me

I'm not really one of those girls who always have a perfect looking, flawless skin. I do have my good skin days and bad skin days. However, my skin has never really been at its worst, until recently...thanks to my imbalance hormones! >_<

Just after I told you guys that I had almost 100% score for the skin test that I did with SK II last time, I developed kinda severe acne on my face! I don't know what happened. Maybe I was just really, really stressed out for the wedding.. (yes, say hello to this Bridezilla! :p) or maybe they've been there, underneath the skin actually, and something triggered them to come out, all at the same time! - I don't know whether it was the Clarisonic brush that I used like I told you guys last time...or what! But the acne just came out all of a sudden! Sekali keluar banyak-banyak pulak tu! My worst case everrrrrrrr! I never had this kind of pimple before! It's just SO weird...and ugly...and sad. However I do think that this is more like a "disease" or hormonal acne or something. Cuz it's not like my usual once-a-month-PMS case...Sigh. Hormonal acne is a whole new beast, I tell you! :(

My pimples were so bad and my period was irregular too. My hormones were unstable I suppose. In just one month time, my face become from that clear, acne-free skin...to really bad severe acne on my face! :( It was SO bad that I always locked myself up in the room, not wanting to go out and face people! I had to cancel events, cancel going here and there, cancel appointments, cancel doing what I'm supposed to do, etc. Just because I just want to avoid seeing people. I even tried to avoid seeing my own family! Always locked myself up in my room! Yes...it was thaaaaat bad! I was always moody and sad. To be honest, I was so depressed.

Seriously, I had a reaallllly hard time dealing with it. What's more when no one is giving you hope, and all you hear is negative words from them. Thank God my darling didn't mind with it.. But still, can you imagine, coming down to eat your dinner or sahur, and hearing your family talk about your acne, look at them and made you feel bad about yourself for having acne? Every time you sit in front of them with a bare face, just makes it even harder when their eyes can't stop looking at your acne when they're talking to you... And then the stress of going out to meet your friends or even strangers pulak, and they came up to you and said, "what happened/is wrong with your face?" Sighhh... 

Ok, I know those people who asked meant well, and worried about me. But imagine the stress I had to handle and to deal with! - The pain from having the acne is one story, the pain of looking at yourself in the mirror with that ugly bumps and redness is another story... And the pain of hearing people talk about it as if YOU DON'T KNOW IT ALREADY...is yet another story!!! T__T

I now understand the feelings of those acne sufferers. I'm with you darlings.. :(

God...I hate pimples. I feel so insecure. I understand deeply for whoever has had pimple problems..and really hate those people who thinks that making fun of it is funny. Because it's not. It really is not! Hmm..I guess, this is a test that God gave me..to remind me to always be thankful and take a good care of His creations and to not always be proud of what I have or anything like it...because actually everything you own in this world belongs to Him, not you. He only lends you his wealth or beauty or health or whatever. And He can take it back anytime He wants. So I guess this test was more like a reminder for me, I think? Although I don't think I was proud last time. I was more like.........happy, I think? But oh well.. whatever. Things has happened now. But after two months, I'm quite surprised that I wasn't as depressed as I used to be. Probably cuz I kinda get used to my face being inflamed already. Heck, it has been 2 months that I live like this! Or probably because I have accepted this test that God gave me with an open heart, and have accepted my flaws...and have agreed that God can take anything within a few seconds. Saya terima. Saya redha dengan ujian ini.  =/ (So okayyy God....I have understand it and learnt my lesson...errr...so can you heal me up already? heheh :p)

I have gone to the clinic by the way...to get help. It has been about two months that I'm on medication. As of now, my skin hasn't really recovered fully. But it's getting there, inshaallah. It's better than 2 weeks ago. I don't have that many bumps like I did, a month ago. Just maybe 2 or 3 more bumps to cure. But....I do have acne marks on the skin which is yet to heal in time. The doctor said, my acne is the kind that's quite hard to cure compare to the other types of acne. - By saying hard, she meant it'll take longer time to heal. Sigh... Because my acne is inside the skin. It doesn't wanna come out, and it doesn't wanna go and disappear either. It just stays there. So the doctor gave me some medicines for the acne to come out. As of now I'm at the stage where I need to heal my acne marks that I have on my skin.. I have quite some red marks on my cheeks... (Sorry, I won't show my naked face, before and after picture. Because like I said, it hasn't cleared yet. Maybe when I get back my normal skin again (inshaallah), I'll do the post in detail! So if you wanna know exactly how I treat my acne problem, please pray for a fast recovery for me! hehe)

My pimples were kind of like this one! Scary, no? :(

[image: googled]

...and now it's sort of like this picture. The healing stage..where there's some red marks on the skin

So anyways, like all the dermatologists/skin doctors in the world, I was forbidden from wearing any make up while I'm on the treatment. Except for mineral make up, as I was told by my very own skin specialist. Of course I knew that. I knew make up is not really good for the skin. I don't even like depending on make up too, actually. But since we're living in the world where some people would judge you based on how you look, sometimes you need those extra help to cover your imperfections! Not because you wanna be fake or be/look like someone else or anything like that. But because you just wanna look and feel good about yourself, so you can have a little confidence and be happy with life. Especially for people that is not perfect like me..

So with this Raya festive, you'll meet a lot of people during open house events - friends, family, relatives, etc, and I'm sure many of us imperfect ladies, wanna look perfect or almost perfect if we can, in front of those people, right? - Cuz like it or not, people tend to judge based on your look. They would look at you and sneer if you don't look like they do or if you have something that is not quite right according to their eyes. So how else can you hide your imperfect face, other than wearing make up..right? (Plastic surgery is another story la, ok? hehe)

Anyway, the picture below is my recent Raya picture. You see those red spots on my cheeks? This is after 2 months of treatment from my doctor...the acne bumps isn't really showing up here, thanks to the antibiotics and steroids pills I took. But I do still have some red marks/acne marks that is quite hard to cover even with my make up! - Will share my meds and topical products for my acne in another post.

Look, it is still visible even after I have covered them with my full coverage foundation + powder! Some of you might say that it doesn't look that bad like how I explained/told you earlier in this post. But bear in mind, I wore thick powder in here...and this is after 2 months of treatment, and my cheeks are actually burning red without the make up on! :(

And I gotta say, I put quite a lot of powder there to cover them...but they still show up! So imagine if I don't have any make up on to cover them?! Imagine how red my face actually is! 

T____T

(Whoever invented make up is a genius! God bless you. hehehehe)

For some, wearing make up might mean that you're being fake as you're not exposing the real you...or worse, some narrow minded people would think that wearing make up means you're an attention seeker and calling them vain and give them names or whatsoever it is that they try to put you down, when really..it's just a resentful cover for their own ineptitude and lack of action to make themselves look better. Pffft - Maybe yes, if it's too much. And yes I have to agree, that there are some women who wear makeup which also happen to be vain and attention-seeking, but that's a really different story altogether.  I'm talking about those women who complain about how they look, but yet do nothing about it! And worse, trying to put others down who look good, just to make themselves feel better. Sigh.... What is wrong with the world laa.. huhu. Anyhow, I just don't see anything wrong with wearing make up, if you just wanna have a little confidence by enhancing the way you look!

Like for me, in this case...wearing make up is like my shield, my savior and my protector.. from those cruel people who judged me based on my flaws.. I never really appreciate make up until I got this test from God. I know it's bad for the skin but...I really can't help it. I need to hide them whenever I meet anyone. Yesss...anyone! Even mom, or dad..or even Mr. Fiance - although they already seen the real bumps and redness.. haha. And although my fiance actually didn't mind at all and always say that he loves me for who I am, not because of my look or anything - But I still didn't believe him as I think he just wanna make me feel good about myself (cuz he's a darling like that), and I'm a worrier who worries about anything and everything. haha. - So I just didn't feel comfortable to let myself out there...to anyyyy one especially to the ones I love/who knows me. The feelings of looking into your beloved eyes, and knowing that they say things like "..your face has changed a lot. Poor you" in their thoughts and in their mind, is a bit melancholy and depressing for me. So yes, wearing make up is the answer for me when I'm going out to meet people! Otherwise, just stay at home/your room and slap on some colored acne cream that would stay on the skin (I don't like the absorbed kind!), so the mom won't be so worried and nag at me when looking at my horrible inflamed skin! 

Oh gosh..I have typed quite long already regarding my acne story. Hee..I just realized this! ;p Now I want to share with you; the acne sufferers, who want to look good and gain back your confidence..even if it's just temporary! Yes, there is still hope..although it's not a permanent solution, but this is how I do to hide my imperfections! - Hey...at least there's a way to minimize our misery, right?! hehe. I know as we're in the midst of healing our skin, we're not supposed to do this often. So what I'm about to share with you now is for you to do it on emergency days. OK? But for those who is not really an acne sufferer/undergoing treatment like me, but has some little imperfections that you wanna correct, this trick would do just fine for you! Be it freckles, redness, moles, dark circles, etc!

Remember those days when we were in art class in school, our teacher used to teach us what are the primary colors and which color to mix with what color to get a certain color? Remember those days? Now...try to apply that on your red face! - Green is made up of two primary colors; blue and yellow. While red and blue mixed together gives you purple. Yellow added to purple gives you BROWN - or light brown/beige in this case when you mix a green concealer with a beige/yellow concealer, which is the kind of tone you're looking for when you're concealing your redness on your skin!

Corrective color palette basically follow the simple rule of ‘neutralizing’ an opposite color on the skin and then hiding it to match the respective skin tone just as in a Color Wheel where we learn last time in school...to get to where the color opposite to a particular shade that neutralizes it! These concealers usually come in various colors ranging from the natural skin tone color to colors like green and purple.

A color like yellow/beige helps to tone down and even out the skin tone. However, it does not ‘hide’ anything specifically which is why we need other colors to do the hiding work! Like purple or green for example!

So apart from the natural skin tone color concealers, the colors available in the cosmetics market are: White, Beige, Yellow, Orange, Mint Green, Light Green, Lavender Purple, Mauve, Light Blue, Pink and Light Peach. My personal favourite to do the hiding work would be the green and the purple one!

Just for your info:

• White: Used with Beige to cover up heavy under eye dark circles. 
• Beige: Used to conceal slight shadows and brighten up the complexion and under eye area. Used with White to conceal heavy under eye dark circles and around the nose area to conceal slight shadows. 
• Yellow and Orange: Neutralizes redness and brown discoloration. Used to conceal red blemishes, bruises and tone down any redness on the face near the nose, lip area, cheeks etc and on brown spots. Orange helps to neutralize the blue toned under eye dark circles and purple bruises. 
• Mint/Light Green: Neutralizes redness as well. If the redness is too dark, mint/light green is used with/without yellow to neutralize it. Works the same as the Yellow concealer except only on darker red spots and scars. 
• Lavender Purple: Used to neutralize yellow-colored bruises or imperfections, yellow under eye or cheek area due to an illness/flu etc on bronze-olive skin tones. 
• Mauve: Used to cover up dark/black spots and visible veins on the face. 
• Light Blue: Used to neutralize orange spots, tan lines/spots, age spots and freckles. 
• Pink: Used to conceal dark gray shadows just below puffy under eye dark circle area and and shadows around the nose. 
• Light Peach: Used to brighten up olive skin tones and balance out slight color discolorations. Can be used for slight coverage of blue veins.

So for this Raya...I hide my redness and inflamed skin with some mineral make up. My doctor said, if I really have to wear make up while under her treatment, she suggested me to wear a mineral make up at least. And so I did!

So this is what I used. All mineral-base make up..
I didn't have the colored concealer palette like I showed you above though. But I do have a green colored make up base from Vacci, a Korean brand make up. The best part of this green colored liquid is that it's easy to blend with the skin. It's not really a "concealer" actually, but rather a make up base! So the texture is really nice and dewy, unlike the normal concealer palette where it is quite dry. And oh, Vacci is a mineral make up brand too! I bet my doctor would approve this brand as well! hehehe
(I didn't use their foundation because their foundation that I have with me is a little too fair for my skin..that I can only apply a bit on my face, otherwise I'll look like a ghost! - I need to apply a thick amount of liquid to hide my imperfections, remember? hehe. Plus, I needed a beige/yellowy tone to cover the redness too)

So anyways..just letting you know that mineral make up generally contains less chemical-based ingredients such as parabens, binders, artificial oils, talc, preservatives, synthetic dyes and fragrances, which can help eliminate some of the skin problems. That was why my doctor said it's okay to wear mineral make up if I really need to wear one. Another major benefit of wearing a mineral make up is that it generally does not clog the pores, allowing the skin to "breathe" naturally. As such, it is less likely to aggravate an acne condition or cause flare-ups! - Which is great for people like me who is undergoing a treatment, no? hehee

So how do I wear it?

I pumped my beige foundation and my green liquid make up base side by side onto my hand...and I mix them up!

I like to put my concealer on my hand first rather than applying it straight to my face...so I can figure out how much liquid I actually need on my face, so I won't overdo it.

Mix until you get your perfect color that can hide your redness!

Just like working with a normal concealer, after applying the corrective concealer on the spots, set it with powder..

Check whether you have blend the color well or if you need to add more..

Here's a before and after I used the normal beige concealer (left) 

And after I have mixed the beige color with green liquid (right)

The redness appearance is reduced a bit! ;)

Awesome product!!

Now..get yourself the three major colors you need to have on your make up table. You never know when you might need it! You can purchase it here!

NOTE: Under eye dark circles come under blue, purple and brownish tones.. therefore they are neutralized by yellow or beige.


Hope this helps you ladies out there who are struggling with concealing those tough under eye dark circles and red blemish/scar marks.

Happy concealing girls! And happy visiting to your relatives house this weekend! Selamat Hari Raya! ;)



XOXO,
Shazzy.

Truth hurts.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..


Salam everyone..
I never thought I would be writing this post.. But here I am, writing it right now, today.

I know that this blog of mine is not like some other blogs where they blog about their thoughts or talk about some personal stuff and etc. Yes, I rarely do that here..

My blog is supposed to be happy and fun. A place for me to post things that interests me. And not something that's too personal. But today, it's different. I just have to write this. As much as I hate to do it, I really have to be a grown up and face the world and end the assumptions people have made about me. I was told that the sooner I say it, the sooner I'll recover and be better, inshaallah.

________________________________

Please know that this entry has been the hardest post that I have ever done in my entire life. This dugaan that I have to face is the biggest test that has ever occurred in my life. Only Allah knows just how deeply hurt I am. I have been keeping this for quite some time and I don't quite know just howwww to write about thisssss, or even to tell people without feeling so low. Especially those who know me.... Even right now, I'm still not sure how to write this. It took me a few hours to think what exactly should I write in here..
Sedih, malu, geram, marah, bersyukur, benci, semua ada. Macam-macam perasaan wujud dihati.. :(

I have tried writing it a few times before. But it all ended up with a blank page as I just can't proceed with my writings when tears began to stream down my face.. And I ended up pressing the "Delete/Backspace" button each time, and started to channel my sadness and anger in a different, and happy post, like my beauty and travel entries instead.. heh.  But I know that eventually, at some point..I will have to tell people and to stop abstaining myself from facing the truth and the situation. =/

So here I am today, holding back my tears...writing The Truth. The truth that so many people wanna know about. (I know some of you have even Googling about me and about it! Pffft.) The truth that I hate to tell. The truth that I can't believe that it's happening to me. The truth that hurts me so damn much. ='(

Oh well...some of you may have probably know about this by now.. Or maybe already sensed something about me and my engagement right? - Because I have heard stories that people have been talking about..and I even got a few comments/messages/SMSes asking me about my personal love life from people that I know, anddd strangers! Thank you for your concern, honey.


Well yes, my engagement with that man (I can't even say his name now) has ended. It happened for a few months back. But only now I have the courage to tell everyone here since the engagement is officially terminated. - I figured, it would be easier for me to write a post in my blog rather than telling each and every one who knows me  either personally or through my blog.. Because I've had enough of people congratulating me and asking me questions about my engagement, about my wedding, about the dresses, about the colors & themes, about the date and stuff like that... Sigh. I know they meant well but it's too much pressure for this girl. T___T

I NEED to stop being stressed out by spilling the truth here, so that I can start open a new chapter of my life. Because I deserve to be happy.


Truth be told, my November wedding is off, and my engagement that was held last January has come to an end. We were engaged for a very very verrry short period of time! It was only for a few weeks. Yes, it was that pathetic. And that was the reason why I was extremely down. I don't know how can anyone could face what I have faced before. And I sure hope no girl would ever have to face this kind of thing ever ever everrrr! Only God knows just howwww deeply hurt I felt when it happened. I felt like running away. I felt like screaming. I felt like my world is over..and that it's hard for me to get up again. I felt stupid. I felt extremely down and depressed. I felt really really EXTREMELY guilty towards my parents, knowing that they have spent a lot of time, money and effort to make it happen for me. (Sorry mama, and abah! tskk) And I especially felt extremely guilty towards myself too, for letting this thing to happen to me! :(

Part of me hates that it happened to me..but another part of me is somehow glad that it happened.. Because it made me realized something..and it has made me more mature I guess.. This is like satu tamparan yang sangat hebat for me. And I've learned my lesson!

Well I am not going to get into details of what happened between us, because I need to jaga hati a lot of people, even though I feel that I deserve to have a say in this.. But I'm not really here to blame anyone or talk bad things about anyone..or berniat nak memalukan siapa-siapa kat sini. Especially his family, when they did nothing to me. So yes..I'm not here to salahkan siapa-siapa. I'm just here to end the assumptions people have been making. Sigh. God, I hate pressure.. It's not healthy.

Of course, I was really really brokenhearted. I have never ever imagined I would be facing this kind of phase. (Of course, no one would!) And until today, I keep on asking myself, whyyyyy did it happen to me?? Whyyyyy did I proceed when I know it's going to be bad?? Whyyyy did I ever get engaged?? Whyyy did I let that thing happened?? Whyyyy didn't I speak up and be the brave girl?? Whyyyy did I let him abuse me mentally and emotionally?! I should have known my values and my rights. Whyyyyy I was so weak and so afraid to stand up for myself??!! Whyyyyyy did I even meet him in the first place?! Yes, I have come to a point where I regretted the day I met and know him. It made me think just how weird it is that the person who used to be your number one priority..becomes the last person you want to meet...if you ever have to!  Sometimes love can be blind and make you do stupid things (like continuing a relationship when you already know it's not going anywhere or it's bound to cause major catastrophes. Haihh). I am not really the kind of person who likes to hate other people. But with him, I just can't stop myself from feeling like this! Cuz things are still fresh in my mind. And it still does affect me up until today..although it has been about half a year now. - Sedikit sebanyak, benda ni does affect me today....and that's why I hate it so much! I want to be ME again! =/


I was depressed. I was shocked. I was traumatized. And I was miserable when it happened.  I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I didn't go out. I just couldn't do anything. For a month! Sebulan duduk terperap dalam bilik..thinking howwww can I face the world! Thinking how stupid and blind I was! But as much as I hate that this thing has happened to me, I know that I can't fight fate and destiny. Ini semua takdir dan ketentuan Allah. And I have to accept it. I have to. Ia sudah tertulis..  I always tell myself, "ada hikmah atas apa yang berlaku" or "Allah has so much better plans for me", to keep myself sane again. But, deep down inside, who am I kidding right? I'm just a normal human being with feelings. I'd be lying to myself if I say I'm okay and this thing does not affect me at all. Because it does. Or at least...it did.

______________________________________

Anyways... I'm all better now. Alhamdulillah, syukur! Thanks to all the support I get from my parents, my very best friend who has helped me A LOT throughout my hard times. (I love you so much for that! hihi), my Along, my brother, the articles I've been reading, my friends, my cousins, my maid, etc, who were there for me when times were so hard back then. Well honestly, I am not 100% healed yet, but I'm almost there, insha allah. Maybe another 10% more. haha.. - Every now and then, whenever something triggers the button, I wouldn't lie that I don't feel anything.. (Like Cheryl Crow said, The First Cut Is The Deepest! hehe) That is the reason why it's kinda hard for me to just let go of it already, although I know he is SO not worth it..but I just can't help myself. I'm only a human being... Cuz the sakit hati and pain is still there.. (Tell me how does a girl recover and being 100% normal and happy again, when she was being abused mentally, emotionally, financially and almost physically?? TELL ME. Sighhh..)  Hmm.. but for what it's worth, I know all this feeling is just temporary. I know I'll be 100% okay again, inshaallah.. Let's hope that this healing phase would be fast! And I'll meet my soul mate who would love me just how I wanted to be loved..and adore me just the way that I am... soon! Amin. Inshaallah! :)


So I'm free now.. Alhamdullilah.. I thank God that I see it sooner rather than later. Like my parents said, nauzubillah...kalau kahwin dengan dia.. Daripada anak dia hidup bahagia, tiba-tiba nanti jadi sengsara just because tersalah pilih pasangan hidup.. So, saya berasa bersyukurrrr sangat, Allah telah tunjukkan dan selamatkan saya dari lelaki sebegitu. Seram sejuk bila difikirkan kalau saya ditakdirkan berkahwin dengan dia. Thank you soooo much God, for stopping it and made me realize! I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! Thank you for saving me! *sujud syukur*

Now..I just wanna be happy again, like I have always been! It's time now for me to let go of the past and time to embrace all that awaits me! I can't wait! I KNOW, ALLAH HAS SO MUCH BETTER PLANS FOR ME! I KNOW HE WILL DEFINITELY REPLACE THIS FEELINGS WITH SOMETHING SO MUCH GREATER THAN THIS! INSHA ALLAH. :)


Lastly, I hope and pray no girl (or guy) would ever have to face this emotional and mental abuse.. And don't ever have to face a "putus tunang"/ "putus cinta" situation. The pressure is so great I tell you.. Sigh. But thank God it's over now! Syukur!!


And here's a little advice from me, if you’re already in a bad/unhealthy relationship (even if you’re engaged) and you don’t think it’s going to get any better, act fast! DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SPEAK UP! You should know your awesome values! Because like my sister said, no guy is worth your tears..and the one who is, won't make you cry - And she was SO right! :) So if you know that your relationship is not healthy and you're not happy, jangan biarkan ia berlarutan sampai ke jinjang pelamin! Think about your future. Jangan takut apa orang lain cakap atau fikir sebab orang memang tidak akan berhenti bercakap. What people think about you is none of your business. What matters the most is you and your life! Because when you’re already married (to the wrong person), it would be too late! Marriage does not solve the problem; it will only create more of what is already there! So my advice is, jangan bercinta 100% mengikut hati dan perasaan. Bercintalah guna otak! haha.. Dan 40% lagi, baru guna hati. LOL - Boleh ke nak guna mathematics in relationship & love? Hahah.. Maybe? ;p
Oh well...you know what I mean, right! hehee ;)

Anyway..I think I have spilled enough. Time for me to stop now... Phewwwww!! Finally..I did it! I've let it out!  - It took me months to write it in here! And only now I have the guts to publish it?! haha. And boyyy....That was easy?! heh ;p
Now let's start a new chapter! Boleh bukak buku baru dah! Yeay! hehe. It's time now for me to let go of my past, and embrace all that awaits me! ^___^

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.....


P/S: What is meant to be, will find it's way. Insha Allah :) 



Wassalam.



Yours Faithfully,
Shazwani.

Helping One Another

Hello ladies!

How was your weekend? Mine was great! We had a family dinner, and both my sisters came to our house with my cute little nephews and nieces! ^_^

Anyway, I have a story to tell you which happened on one of the nights when we were having our usual favourite spot for family dinner in Marriott..
So on that day, one of our local university (I think it was UM or UPM..couldn't remember), was having an annual dinner at the hotel.

We arrived there around 7.20 -ish, I think.. So just in time to perform the Maghrib prayer. But since I was having my period, obviously I did not follow my dad, my brother and my mom's footsteps to the mussolla. And instead, I went to the restrooms, just to kill time while waiting for them to finish. (I thought I wanted to camwhore a bit. haha ;p)

But the moment I pushed the restroom's door to enter, I was really surprised to see so many girls inside there! Seriously, it was like those public toilets at the R&R stations during festive seasons!! Well...almost like that. - So many people, and so many noises.. I couldn't really move around in there.. And I also have lost the feeling of wanting to pee with that kind of crowd and queue, at the time. (And of course, all my plans to being vain in the toilet has been cancelled right away..haha)

Normally, it'd be like thissss... Very quiet and peaceful. hehe. 

(This is a picture I took when the last time I came to Marriott for dinner)

See that... Empty toilets! ;)

(this picture was taken on the day I fell in love with Japanese food. Blogged here)

But not that night! I really felt like I was not in the right toilet!



So anyway, all I did was taking out my lipstick, slide it on my lips and took out my mascara, and apply some...from far! Not like in the above pictures where I was so near to the mirror.. Nope! - I was almost near to that white toilet door, actually. Thatttt was how far I was, from the mirror.. Because there were like a few girls who were in front of me and in front of the mirror.
And they were so nervous and excited at the same time to get ready for the dinner, I think! Some were doing their hair, some were tying and flipping their scarves on their heads, or helping their friend to put eye shadows on the lids, and some even just started to apply make up and didn't even get dressed yet! - And got panicked, of course.. hehe

Well..seeing some of the girls cluelessly and nervously not knowing what to wear first or even how to use them, reminds me of myself back when the word 'make-up' is still new to my vocabulary..

So I stood there, applying my lipstick slowly while watching every girls in the room and see how they would dress up for the night and watched them getting ready for their annual dinner.... (just to kill time, while waiting for the parents and the lil' brother. I thought I wanted to be in there just for 5 minutes!)

And then suddenly I heard beside me, there was this one innocent, clueless girl, talking to her friend and grumbled about how she doesn't know how to use any make up on..and sobbing that she wanted to look nice, but don't know how.. and asking for their help..

Her friends didn't know that much too, so they declined and continue with their business of course.. I mean at this kind of night/event, everyone wants to look nice right. So of course their face is their priority right? hehe..
So anyway, as everyone was busy with their own face to color up a bit.. this poor girl keep on asking "Am I doing it right?" - she was applying foundation at the time..  And really don't know whyyy she even did that..

And after she finished with her foundation, she asked her friend once again.. "Okay..then what?". 
Her friend handed her the eye shadow palette and said, "Here, use this.. Just apply it on your eyelids".


So this 'kepochi' girl, looked at her, while she was applying her mascara, - to see how that poor girl gonna apply the eye shadow... So there she was.. stood there, not knowing what to do..and didn't want to ask for her busy friends to help her either.. So she stood there silently, while holding the eye shadow palette, and reading what the descriptions/ingredients that was written on the label, I think... 

At that time, I really really felt so kesian towards the girl.. Because I really know the feelings of wanting to look nice but don't know how and so afraid to try because you think you'd look weird..

So I looked at the girl and smiled...and said, "Hey.. would you like me to help you with your make up? I can do it for you if you'd like". She looked at me with bright and exciting eyes, and with an immediate reply, she said "YESSS! Nakkkkk!!" Together with her friends actually... the four girls responded the same answers to me.. hehe. I find that cute! Everybody was desperate to look nice..and everybody wants help...

So anyway.. I helped the girl with her make up. I did exactly like how I always make myself up.. only thing, I was using their make up.. - It wasn't a complete set, though. And the colors were not really a good quality and I had a hard time sticking the colors to the face, actually.. But at least, it was good enough to brighten up the face a bit. So that's good enough, I think. But still, after a few attempts of trying to put on an eyeliner on her upper lids, I gave up. So I took out from my handbag, and used my liquid eyeliner instead. And I also used my mascara (and gave her away), and use my brow polish, by the way. - Cuz they don't have any brow pencil in the make up pouch that they bring.. (Luckily I bring my make up, ey? hehe)

So while I was doing her make up..some of the girls were looking at me surprisingly..because all of a sudden, one of their errr...I can say 'nerd' friends, had a little make up artist that came with her to the Marriott. hehehe ;p
Everyone was like, "Wahhhhh....lucky youuuu!".. And can't wait for their turns.


So I helped the girls with their make up, and their scarf. And..I ended up almost an hour in there and was sweating real bad! tskkk. But then after almost an hour in there, I had to stop because my parents were worried about me, not showing up at the restaurant, while they have eaten a few meals already! haha.. They thought I was lost. I guess, if they didn't call me that night to ask me where I was, I think I might just ended up coloring everybody's face in there, not knowing when to stop! heh.. It was really tiring actually, I had to stand with my 5-inch heels, and the place was so cramped up, making it so crowded and hot and sweaty... But it was okay..
At least I know, I have made their night. (err... well I hope I did! ;p) 
And hoping that they were happy to see that they too, can look beautiful.... =)

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Really, making someone happy can really make you feel good... My parents taught me that really well. They always say, we must always help people when they are in need.. And I always hear this line from my dad like all the time, "The more you give, the more He will repay and give back to you". And I believed that.. Because it's true!

By making and helping people's day..especially the random ones, I would feel really really happy - knowing that I do not need them to repay me back, or feeling like I want them to repay me, one day, some day, somehow... Bcuz there won't be a little devil's voice in you that kinda "mengungkit" about it if things go wrong between you and the person you've helped..you know what I mean? But if you help random people, you know God will repay you somehow and  best of all, you didn't even know and remember the person you help! So..there won't be any case of "mengungkit"... And that noble act of yours would be considered as "ikhlas". So when you're being ikhlas, there'll be more chances for you to get your reward from Him, in no time! hehe.. Am I making any sense here?? (I hope I do! hehe ;p)

Anyway, it's a nice feeling...that you too, should do it! You can help people by giving a ride to those you see walking down the road, or helping people lifting up and carrying their stuff, or at least.. giving some donations in any kind of form, money, clothes, food, etc! Just as long as making them happy!! This is one of the reasons why I love doing "giveaways" in my blog...to make random people happy!
Trust me, by doing something good like this, you would really feel good about yourself, knowing that you have helped and done something right to people! =)
So...marilah kita sama-sama beramal! hehehe



P/s: So sorry, I didn't take a picture with her..as this was a spontaneous act, and I was sooo busy doing the make up for the girls and was so tired from standing for 1 hour plus in there, so I forgot!! heee


P/ss: Speaking of helping people, with the Japan tsunami disaster, I think this would be the very best time for you to do something good and help the people in need!! They need prayers and help from all of us! Remember, even though your donation is small, but it will definitely make a HUGE difference!!! So PLEASE, we need as much donations as possible! You can donate via Groupon Malaysia (every RM 3 that we donated, they will donate RM 3 more, up to RM25,000. And the money will go directly to the Japanese Red Cross via Malaysia's Red Crescent Society!) 
So donate today!!! 

XOXO,
Shazzy.