Looking for a revolution

The scientific inquiry into music revolutions is interesting:

The evolution of western pop music, spanning from 1960 to 2010, has been analysed by scientists.

A team from Queen Mary University of London and Imperial College London looked at more than 17,000 songs from the US Billboard Hot 100.

They found three music revolutions - in 1964, 1983 and 1991 - and traced the loss of blues chords from the charts, as well as the birth of disco.

But it's fundamentally flawed, isn't it? If you want to know what's happening in music, the very worst place to look would be the American charts. It'd be like a seismologist restricting themselves to measuring only the smallest of aftershocks.

Just as a for instance, that methodology means that punk is more or less ignored and the revolutions spotted are timed about two years too late.

Still, as a guide to what sorts of music American radio was prepared to play, it's a useful exercise.

Charli XCX: Apparently PopCrush is easily surprised

A rustling in the bushes, and Popcrush is at our window, panting wildly:

Charli XCX Shares Surprising Remarks on Music Industry

Surprising remarks? She's not suggesting that the remaining major labels merge, stop making music and start raising chooks and herbs instead, is she?

What did she say that was so surprising, Popcrush?

Her next album is due out later this year, and armed with her new LP, Charli says she wants to “f— up the music industry, not make it a prettier place.”

Oh. That's not actually especially surprising, is it? That seems to be exactly the sort of thing that Charli XCX has been saying since she first started releasing music. It's a bit like hearing Ed Miliband say he intends to win the next election and finding that a surprise.

Still, surprised Popcrush is, and it needs to reassure its apparently hugely conservative readership:

But don’t let her tough words fool you — her sound is still pure pop.

Phew. That's alright then. I was worried her attempt to work around the structure of the multinational music industry would only be possible by making free jazz.

Indie guitar routed, says chart company

For reasons that aren't immediately apparent, the official chart company has decided to tell indie rock that it isn't good enough:

"2009 was the toughest year of the Noughties as far as independent guitar music was concerned," said the [Official Chart C]ompany's managing director Martin Talbot.

"We're going through that period where guitar music and electronic-driven pop music is winning through over guitar bands."

Goodness. That sounds like something that might even be worth trying to interest journalists in as if it was some sort of trend. Well, almost. I suppose if your job involved compiling lists of what records were selling slightly more copies than other records, you'd have to be able to come up with some sort of fact that doing all that compiling might reveal. However banal it might be.

But can Talbot explain what is almost certainly just a cyclical change?

Talbot knows exactly were the blame lies. He said, "You only have to look at the charts over the past 12 months to see we're going through a real period in resurgence for pop music.

"The biggest stars of the last 12 months have been the likes of Lady Gaga and Pixie Lott. Dizzee Rascal having three number ones in a year. I can't see that changing over the next 12 months either."

So, Talbot's explanation for pop doing better than guitars is that... pop is doing better than guitars. Watch out, Gennaro, somebody is after your crown for chart commentary.

Hang about, though, Martin - are you sure that it won't change for the next twelve months?

"It's about trends and movements. Sometimes movements can be sparked by one act coming out of nowhere and doing something different to what everyone else is at that particular point in time."

Well, yes, a movement would require someone doing something different for it to start, wouldn't it? If you came along doing the same thing as everybody else, you wouldn't really be in a position to start a movement.

In summary, then: Indie-style guitar rock is now selling relatively less well than other types of music, because other types of music are selling more strongly. It's unlikely that anything will change that in the foreseeable future, unless something happens to make it change.

I only hope that the newspapers haven't yet sent their front pages to print.

Cyrus advance: Here comes the next one

With Hannah Montana now, like, so oooooold, and her human host Miley Cyrus now trying to re-establish control of her body, where will the world find its inoffensively offensive preteen safetydance thrills?

Meet Miranda Cosgrove. She's known to American kids as iCarly, on Nickelodeon. Now, she's releasing an album.

Well, half an album:

The remaining 10 tracks -- all by such teen-friendly Sony artists as Good Charlotte and Avril Lavigne -- were chosen to represent "songs that would appear on Carly's iPod," Sony Music Label Group chairman Rob Stringer said.

This is a brilliant approach to making a record - when you get bored, just drag a bunch of stuff from iTunes into your 'newalbum' folder and you're set.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

Acceptable in the 80s: Rick Astley

And as we're sat here thinking about Miki and Lush and enjoying the past, here's a reminder of why nostalgia used to be considered a mental illness: Rick Astley's back, and getting interviewed in the Echo. After all this time, it seems he's still annoyed about being labelled the PWL teaboy:

“It’s all rubbish,” he laughs. “You might as well say I knew his younger brother’s cat’s sister’s mother.

“I was playing the club circuit in Newton-le-Willows as a singer in a soul band. Pete Waterman came to see us, and he said he liked my voice, but not the band. We went on like that for ages; him offering to sign me, me only wanting to be signed as part of the band.

“He was going out with a hairdresser at the time, and I think she was from Warrington. She may have come to see my band, but it wasn’t her Christmas party.

“Then, through knowing Pete, I started work at the PWL recording studio, where I did all kinds of things including, on occasions, making tea for Bananarama - see that’s where that story comes from, make one cup of tea and you’re the teaboy."

Mmm. Must be almost as frustrating as making one decent pop record and being considered a popstar.

Actually, Rick is quite self-effacing, explaining that he gave up pop after realising he'd been off on tour and missed his kid's first steps and apologising in the middle of an anecdote about meeting Burt Bacharach for going on about it. And, though, some act of global balancing, the child who persuade Rick to give up pop was also his reason for returning to it:

Rick made the decision last year to take part in an 80s revival gig in Tokyo.

“My daughter had been asking to go to Japan for a while, and she’d never seen me do a gig, so I agreed.

“It was weird. After so long I was worried it would feel like I was doing someone else’s songs, like karaoke, but I enjoyed it.

“It was quite emotional. It made me realise I was so, so lucky. Most people in the street don’t get an outlet to do things like that, to sing in front of thousands of people.

“So when they asked if I wanted to do this tour, I said yes.

“I’m only doing a week, and part of it’s Liverpool, so my mum can come and see it. My daughter and my girlfriend are going to come up and spend some time with the rest of the family, so for me it’ll be something special."

He insists this comeback is just for the hell of it, and not part of a longer term slog round the cabaret and Pontins circuits. Unless, presumably, his daughter suggests it might be fun to sleep in a cabin by the seaside...

Rachel Stevens begs "save the popstar"

For some reason, Rachel Stevens is worried by the rock resurgence:

"It's changed, um, just a bit more rock 'n' roll now.

"Yeah, we need more pop acts in the mix, bring pop back.

"I feel excited about it, and I'm looking forward to getting back to doing music.

"And I will at some point, but right now I wanted to kind of do different things and challenge myself and try and then I'll be back, definitely."

Doing those contact lens ads must be taking more time than you'd expect, then.

Ever the consummate pro, Stevens even pretends that the prospect of an S Club reunion could be a positive thing, rather than a chance to hang out with Jo "it's not racist if it's a limerick" O'Meara and the others while contemplating how so much promise ended back at square one.

Alex James follows Myleene Klass and Simon Bates

Alex James has signed up to present a programme on Classic FM, the radio network which is a bit like being put on hold during a phone call to a company which considers itself a bit blue chip.

James is going to present a programme which is an important addition to its schedules and not simply an invention designed to allow Classic FM to promote themselves off the back of. It's called 'When Classic Meets Pop':

When Classic Meets Pop will feature classically inspired songs such as Barry Manilow's Could It Be Magic, Eric Carmen's All By Myself and The Farm's Altogether Now.

If they hoped hiring Alex would give a breath of fresh air to the station and help break down the impression that classical music fans are a bunch of haughty snobs, they might be a little worried:

"Why would I want to listen to Hard-Fi piffling around when there is Rossini?" said James. "Bring me cellos. Bring me French horns. Bring me a choir. And some cannons, maybe, for the end."

The question might equally be phrased "Why would I want to listen to the man who helped create Naughty Christmas (Goblin In The Office) detailing what music is and isn't acceptable to enjoy", of course.

Perhaps the most worrying sign of pop in decline

Apart from the usual "this week's chart news" filings, Rhianna's been number one for eight weeks now, and nobody seems in the least bit interested. Even in the way that the chart was supposed to be all exciting nowadays with downloads and everything included, and yet it's delivered a number one which - let's be honest - isn't that good - that's become immovable at the top of the listings.

It's not a eight-week stretch at the top that's worrying; it's the lack of interest in that run which is alarming.

Pop star Justin Timberlake doesn't like being pop

There's nothing wrong with pop. Indeed, pop music done properly is a wonderful thing. It's not good enough for Justin Timberlake, though, who spends most of Details interview this month moaning about being thought of as pop:

“All of a sudden you’re Mr. ‘SexyBack,’ and before that you were Mr. ‘Cry Me a River.’ I knew I had to take a break when they said the new King of Pop."
[...]
“I tried so hard to be an R&B artist [on his first solo album, Justified] and it was the pop album of the year, and I was like, ‘Fuck. That’s the last thing I wanted,’” Timberlake says, taking a swig from another can of cream soda. “But I was like, ‘So everyone considers me a pop artist? Well, fuck it. I’m going to do whatever I want to do.’”

What's most amusing is that Timberlake seems to value "R&B" above pop, despite "pop" at least being an honest label - unlike R&B, which despite now denoting a musical style with less integrity than pop still tries to pretend its in some way connected with the old R&B, like the way the Rocky Race led monthly Roy of the Rovers tried to claim the lustre and crown of his father's weekly comic.

Timberlake, though, is a man with an awful, awful lot of bitterness:

The internal battle is most evident when he talks about this year’s Grammys. Weeks in advance of the telecast, he was asked to be the star of “My Grammy Moment,” a cheesy, American Idol rip-off bit in which the winner of a contest got to perform onstage with him. Before the idea was fleshed out, Timberlake agreed. As the potentially disastrous plan hurtled to fruition, he ached to back out. He couldn’t. “Because I’m the nice guy who follows through on the things he commits to,” he says, a mock smile locked into place. “But I don’t know if I’ll be going through that sort of thing again. I feel like the Grammys used me for ratings. And look at it—they were up 18 percent.”

Yes, Justin. The 18 per-cent rise in the Grammys audience was all down to you, and nothing to do with this year's programme not going head-to-head with American Idol. And if you were really so uncomfortable with the cheesey contest bit, why didn't you pull out? Really because you'd agreed "before the idea was fleshed out"? You'd given a firm commitment before you'd been told what you were doing and yet still felt obliged to go ahead? Sorry, Justin, if that's true, you're weak, not "nice" and deserve everything you got. A amn who signs on for something not knowing what he's doing is an fool; a man who follows through on a foolish deal is even more of a fool.

The King of Pop abdicates

Michael Jackson has apparently told a German magazine that he doesn't like Pop. Curious, coming from a man who used to bully radio stations into refering to him as The King of Pop.

Hmmm... doesn't like pop music but has a major role in it, bought a load of copyrights to Beatles songs behind Macca's back; takes kids and leaves them dangling in mid air while fans look on horrified; and has a curious two-faced appearance. He's not planning on setting up his own label, is he?

NB: The line about fucking over bright eyed young kids has been excised on grounds of taste.