KT Tunstall disowns BNP stepfather's politics

KT Tunstall's stepfather, David Orr, is standing as a BNP candidate at these elections on a platform which appears to be 'struggling to cram petulant prejudice into a cheap suit'.

Tunstall has had her people issue a statement firmly and clearly dissociating herself from the man:

"She abhors the BNP and all they stand for.

"She now has no contact with David Orr."

The Sunday Mail suggests this is causing problems with her birth mother, Orr's wife:

A friend of Carol-Ann - who gave up KT, 34, for adoption when she was born before being reunited with her in 1996 - said: "She is absolutely devastated about this. But she loves David and has accepted she can't change his views no matter how unpalatable they are."

The impression being that poor Mrs Orr is shrugging her shoulders and going "tschaw, immigrant hating men, eh? What can you do about them?" while not really thinking he's right.

That sits a bit oddly with the report in the Herald, though:

According to official papers submitted to the local council, Tunstall’s birth mother nominated her husband as a BNP candidate.

"Ooh, you and your unpalatable views. Still, since I can't change them I might as well try and get you into Westminster so you can honk on about immigration and Britishness all over the place."

Blimey... he's in for a shock, then

Although the ceremony was held up for fifteen minutes at the "any person here present" bit as the celebrant had to plough through 175 internet pages to determine if she really was, you know, serious about this heterosexual business, KT Tunstall has married her drummer Luke Bullen.

ITV's Guilt

We've said before that we don't feel comfortable with the concept of Guilty Pleasures, simultaneously patronising some great songs while suggesting that you should be ashamed of some music you like - that your taste can be, somehow, wrong.

Obviously, your taste can be wrong, judged from another perspective, but if you like that Dido song about being a hunter, why shouldn't you like it without feeling guilty? There are more than enough reasons for shame without making songs that make you happy part of them.

ITV's crack at turning Guilty Pleasures into a TV property is on this coming Sunday, and makes the idea even more confused. It's got KT Tunstall on it, for a start:

KT and fellow Scot Amy Macdonald are among eight acts who perform the songs they normally only sing in the shower on the show.

Amy, 20, who the Sunday Mail recently revealed is dating Aberdeen footballer Steve Lovell, performs Neil Diamond's 1971 hit Sweet Caroline.

It's perhaps only ITV who could conclude there's something more credible about Amy Macdonald than about Neil Diamond.

KT Tunstall parrots Beth Ditto's gay designer slur

Last year, one of the many times Ditto stuck her foot into her mouth was when she blamed gay men for size zero. KT Tunstall has now reached the same conclusion:

"I think the whole culture stems from the fact that many of the top clothes designers in the past were gay men. And so you've got this fantasy young boy figure. Six foot, no boobs, no hips."

Yes. It's all down to those gay men. Of course it is.

We're just celebrities, we don't want no trouble

James P emails us to point out a curious feature of the post-Brits parties:

After the Brits this week, people went off to their various parties. One party, at somewhere called 'Movida', resulted in three stories involving assaults on celebrities (and Alex Curran).

- Party hostess Kylie got 'attacked with ice-cubes';
- KT Tunstall was knocked over by a bouncer;
- Someone called Alex Curran, who is apparently married to someone who plays football, was wrestled to the ground by a mystery assailant

Nice to see these stars shunning the glamorous lifestyle in favour of the sort of night out that their fans enjoy, i.e. a nightclub with an ever-present undercurrent of seething violence. No word yet on whether Beth Ditto ended the evening on the pavement outside Southern Fried Chicken, screaming at Mika to leave the Klaxons alone as they weren't worth it.

Outside, of course, Paul McCartney was being told "get lost, Grandad - no trainers..."

We love the way in the struggle between Curran and her attacker, it was the assailant who is meant to be the obscure one, by the way.

Is KT Tunstall credible?

We know it's meant to make us think "wow, KT Tunstall is one cool woman - we were so wrong about her" but, as we listen to the Bloc Party cover she's done [RealPlayer download], we just think "there's been a marketing meeting dedicated to trying to make us think that KT Tunstall is one cool woman".

... and even then the kids were secretly hoping for Kylie

Leon Jackson was doing some good work for charidee at Great Ormond Street, only to discover that as he was working his way up the ward, KT Tunstall was working her way down it.

Leon was thrilled to be invited to the hospital, although hospital sources say that when they'd invited him in after seeing him on TV, it was because they thought he needed his adenoids checked.

Why we love local newspapers

Hats off to the Norwich Evening News, which knows exactly the pecking order for the story about KT Tunstall's engagement:

Norwich man to marry pop star

This might be interesting to the 'is KT Tunstall gay' audience

KT Tunstall is either about to marry the love of her life, or enter into a passionless, PR-driven attempt to hush the whisperings about her sexuality, depending on your point of view. She's got engaged to Luke Bullen from her band.

Apparently he turned up on Christmas Day and asked her:

"So, 11 o'clock on Christmas morning, the doorbell goes and it's Luke suited and booted. With all his bags. And a little box. Wrapped with a ribbon.

"He proposed. Being an opportunist, I obviously said yes. It feels smashing. We're gonna do the deed way up in the wild North."

Depending on which side of the debate you've placed yourself, this will either be a charming, heartwarming tale of romantic gestures, or a cunningly scripted tale from a cynical press office.

If you have five seconds to spare, I'll tell you the story of my life

Amongst the many projects at an early stage that we can't wait for is KT Tunstall - The Movie.

And who would be so fascinated by KT Tunstall as to write a film about her?

Why, KT Tunstall, of course.

Car for Miss Tunstall

Back when The Simpsons was funny, rather than amusing, there was one where the family arrived at an airport on an all-expenses paid trip and, in seeing the limo driver holding a card with "Simpsons" on it, say "Look! That man has the same name as us..." before heading off to get a taxi.

There can be few of us who haven't at some point struggled through customs and thought, on seeing a bloke with a comfy car holding up a big sign saying "Graham Bullock", "if I said I was Mr. Bullock, how would he know I wasn't..."

This is pretty much what happened to KT Tunstall, although she was cast the unfortunate Mr. Bullock, emerging from the airport to discover someone claiming to be her had pinched the car.

The 3AM Girls rather exercised about this, claiming KT was:

stranded at New York's JFK airport

It's surely a little difficult for a grown-up to be "stranded" at a major transport hub in a country where they speak the language, isn't it?

KT, you don't eat meat

KT Tunstall might seem to allow anyone with a quid or two to buy her music to shower over their adverts, but there are lines she draws, it turns out:

KT Tunstall stepped in to prevent one of her songs being used in a ham advert.

The 'Suddenly I See' singer decided to turn down the offer from a Norwegian company because she does not eat meat.

"I'm a vegetarian. My manager takes care of these things but he does tell me everything because he knows I'll have a good laugh with most of it."

What KT Tunstall song would possibly be appropriate to flogging pork products?

KT Tunstall throws down her guitar

Not, unfortunately, because she's retiring; instead, it's because she is going to up the visual element of her shows still further. Yes, first the glamming up, now it's lessons from Kanye West's choreographer. It's almost like she's a pop star or something.

KT Tunstall jumps on women's bodies

"Shoelaces with big boobs" is how KT Tunstall thinks of the unhealthy Heat magazine body archetype:

I don't know any guys who want to go out with a shoelace with big boobs. All the guys I know like girls who look like women.

"It's very twisted that women are being bombarded with the idea that this is what they should look like.

"You're left feeling inadequate and with a general sense of low self-confidence.

"There's nothing wrong with a young person wanting to be famous and rich through doing something they're passionate about but it seems to be breeding this desire in younger people to get very, very famous and rich in anyway they possibly can."

We're not entirely sure we follow her morality here: is there a problem if you're passionate about making yourself look like a big-breasted stick? If it's okay to want to be rich, but not very, very rich, where is the cut-off point where richness becomes wrong.

Tunstall, of course, blames television:

"TV firms don't seem to have any standards about what they're pumping out for young people to watch."

"It's really fucked up.

"I don't have a television any more because reality TV just made me sick.

"It's very addictive. It hooks you in and you end up watching shit for hours."

Curious that "reality TV" makes her "sick" but she watches it for "hours" - presumably she'd angled her telly so she could see it from the bathroom. But while it's brave of KT to thjrow out her TV, if she was really that annoyed at what TV companies are doing, shouldn't she refuse to appear on networks which "pump out" these fucked up programmes? And, indeed, request her record company stops funding them by advertising her record in their commercial breaks? And ban all those reality TV shows which lob "Suddenly I See" on any package featuring a "beautiful girl"?

Or does her outrage only come into force when she's not on the receiving end of a benefit?

Is KT Tunstall a vampire?

Never mind about her sexuality - could KT Tunstall be one of the undead, who would feast on our brains (hang on, that's zombies, isn't it?)

The 'music' she has released is enough to suggest that she feels the torture of innocent souls is a bit of a buzz. (And, incidentally, William Grundy, why do you think your girlfriend suddenly turned cold on the idea of going on holiday with you? It had nothing to do with her wanting to pay her way; she clearly was horrified that you chose to play her KT Tunstall during your date last night. Watch out, or Ed will have her away, too.)

Now, there's more evidence. Fangs, to be exact:

"I had my teeth filed down because I grew fangs. I was only five and it was quite unpleasant.

"But I was fairly vicious if I got into fights back then. I didn't bite anyone directly, but I did some nipping when I was just mucking around with my brother."

Now, on to our next subject: Sandi Thom - werewolf or not?

A lot of good work for charidee

Let's just preempt the comments box and say: Yes, we know Annie Lennox's Band Aid style single is in a good cause and, yes, it will raise a bit of money.

However, wouldn't it be better all round if Shakira, Joss Stone, Dido, Celine Dion, Pink, Fergie, Gladys Knight, Bonnie Raitt, Melissa Etheridge, KT Tunstall and Madonna all released a proper single - one that they might have released anyway - and gave the money from that to Nelson Mandela's 46664 Aids charity instead? Wouldn't that raise more money and, indeed, mean that the artists involved could feel a sense of actually contributing to the cause by redirecting some of their royalties, rather than just spending an hour or so making a record that nobody would really want for its own merits?

Suddenly, I see

KT Tunstall's strange relationship with music has been explained: she didn't listen to it as a child:

"It's luck I became a musician. I was a complete musical ignoramus as a kid.

"My parents don't listen to music. They're real outdoors types so we just went camping. And my younger brother is profoundly deaf so it was very unhelpful to have music on in the house."

While we can see that extraneous background noise would be awkward for someone trying to understand conversation, surely she didn't spend her entire childhood in the same room as her brother? And since when did 'going camping' preclude you from listening to music as well? "Put that mouth-organ down, Katie, I intend to fashion it into a rudimentary tent-peg."

It explains why she makes music as if it was a second language - not, of itself, a bad thing; indeed, the passion of a late convert could have made for some interesting, sharp-edged stuff. It hasn't, of course, but it might have done.

Lightening the load

This is an act of genius - the worst thing about the end of each Glastobury festival is the dull taking-down of the tent, and then having to trudge back to the bus carrying it. If only you could leave it behind with a clear conscience.

Now, you can: Indeed, you're being encouraged to go home without your tent. Give Me Shelter is going to collect up donated/abandoned/unwanted tents after the festival is over, and use them to good advantage in the third world.

KT Tunstall is offering her support:

The idea has been endorsed by the singer KT Tunstall, who will be performing at Glastonbury. “Festivals have always epitomised openness, tolerance and community,” she said. “It’s great that Give Me Shelter can channel some of this vibe.”

It's not known if the cabins where people suspected of entering with forged tickets will also be sent overseas afterwards.

KT Tunstall finally meets bloke she shared a bed with

Is it a million-to-one coincidence, or is it merely they must know the same sort of people and go to the same sort of places? KT Tunstall was spooked to bump into the bloke who played the man in the Other Side Of The World video - the one where, a bit like Stevie and Paul in Ebony and Ivory, they never actually met:

"We were freaked out, seeing someone so familiar that you've never actually met. It must have been more than two years ago we shot that."

Who would have thought that someone from two years ago would even be, like, still alive or whatever?

Tunstall's next trick

KT Tunstall has elected to avoid a name which might have reignited the "exactly what is her preference in sexual partners" debate for her new album, instead going with merely the bloody awful. Drastic Fantastic, we're very much afraid.