3.08.2006

What I gave up for Lent

Being Catholic.

Top U.S. Bishop Accused of Sex Abuse

The claim was filed against the Roman Catholic Diocese of Spokane on Dec. 27 by a woman who said she was under the age of 18 when [Bishop] Skylstad sexually abused her at St. Patrick's Parish and at Gonzaga University from December 1961 to December 1964.


Okay, so it happened a long time ago. It's possible the man isn't guilty. It's also entirely possible that he IS.

The diocese is one of three in the nation that filed for bankruptcy protection to deal with claims of sexual abuse by clergy. Skylstad last month offered to settle with 75 victims for $45.7 million.


In fact, it seems even more possible that he is.

Victims of clergy sexual abuse have until Friday to file claims. Greg Arpin, an attorney representing the diocese, said there were a total of 135 claims as of Wednesday morning, including the original 75 who would be covered by the settlement.


Emphasis all mine.

I think some of these claims are bogus. But some aren't. It's dead tiring to keep hearing about Church abuses. It just never seems to end. Which means that the Church is still not at all interested in cleaning house.

Not that I'm surprised. Quite the opposite.

When I was a child, I loved the Church. I actually felt peace there. I know now that the peace came from the ritual, and that I never really felt God was with me. Because a child doesn't really understand that concept. With all their magical thinking, children equate God with superheroes and imaginary friends and unicorns.

But a priest, on the other hand, is someone a child is taught to trust, and to believe in as God's representative. God the Father sends this man to look after you on His behalf. This is the closest a child comes to knowing God face-to-face. What a responsibility the priest has. And how despicable that some of those men would abuse that responsibility so thoroughly.

Worse than that is how the Church hierarchy hid it.

My hatred of the Church is personal. I tried as an adult to love the Church, and to believe in the community even though I knew how badly out of touch the Vatican was. I had real affection for Pope John Paul II, but had a hard time reconciling his good points with his rigidity on homosexuality and birth control. It was disturbing to see how greedy the parish was, with the constant pleas for money. Most of the homilies were about giving – not of time or of self, but of money.

Still, I got married in the Church. When Conor was born, I had him baptized Catholic.

And then the year I got divorced the priest sex scandals hit critical mass (no pun intended). That following Easter, as the news was full of reports that the Church actively covered for their pedophile priests, I learned that, as a divorced person, I wasn't allowed to take communion at the holiest time of the Catholic year.

That was when I gave up being Catholic. And they can't have my son, either.

Maybe someday Conor will choose a religion for himself. Maybe he'll choose Catholicism (kids DO have a knack for doing the opposite of their parents). But at least he'll do it as an adult, with his eyes open. For now, there's no way I'm feeding my little boy to that monster.

And I see, again, no reason to change my mind.

3 comments:

Cullen said...

Hypocrisy drove me away from organized religion as well. I wasn't Catholic and didn't deal with anything like this, but the abundance of "Sunday morning Christians" drove me crazy. I carry that angst to this day.

My wife is Mormon, devout even. She wasn't practicing when we dated and married, but has become very much so since our first daughter's birth. Her activity and my association by proximity has tempered my attitude considerably. It has made me again want a personal relationship with God. But going back to a church is a bridge I have no desire to cross. I don't know if I ever will.

shannon said...

Hypocrisy, Cullen. That's it right there. Like you, I want a personal relationship with God. But I don't believe it can be found in the church communities, because those are human constructs. They're full of the same politics that inevitably happen when people get together.

I've tried non-denominational churches, Episcopal churches and Lutheran churches. The closest I came to feeling good about a community was when I went to a mega-Christian church.

But when you're hearing the service in a 5,000-seat auditorium, somehow you end up feeling more isolated than ever.

Until then, I'll do my silent "conversation" with God, and leave everyone else out of it.

Shannon C. said...

I give you credit. You fought harder than I did. It was more important to you, and hung in there and tried...really tried to make it work. I am only sorry they failed you so miserably.

You know my feelings on organized religion. Every organized religion has their good qualities. Abosolutely. But for a long time now, I have been unable to grasp what the hypocrisy, the thirst for power, the obsessive need to control every little thing, and the constant quest for and subsequent misuse of money have to do with God. That is too much blind faith, and I see just fine.

If ritual is what comforts you, create your own. You can still do many of the things you use to do, but in your own way. Not being religious is not the same thing as not being spiritual.

Happy Easter.