The Ghost of Christmas Present was arrested last night for incandescent exposure after Villain Union Leader, Miss Muffet, complained that while she was sweetly sitting on her tuffet, he came down and sat beside her, scaring her nearly to death.
A bowl of unturned curds was the only evidence left at the scene.
Showing posts with label Miss Muffett. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miss Muffett. Show all posts
Tuffet Use On the Rise
By j.a. kazimer
Crime Beat New Never News
New Never Police are concerned with the recent rise in the abuse of tuffets by local teens. "Curds and whey was bad enough, and now this?" declared one parent of a teen hospitalized after a tuffet incident. "It's that damn Justin Bieber. Kids see him sitting on a tuffet and think it's the thing to do."
Police are asking teens to stop licking random tuffets. "It just isn't worth it," Officer Muffet declared.
Mysterious Fire at the Villainous Union
By j.a. kazimerPyrotechnic Beat New Never News
A freakish four alarm fire broke out overnight at the headquarters of the villain's union in Greenwitch Village. The fire burned the first two floors, causing over twenty thousand dollars in damage. VP of Union Affairs, Miss Muffet stated, 'I just sat on my tuffet, eating my curds and whey, when along came a fire...'
Not surprisingly, the fire is under investigation. The sheriff has released this sketch of the suspect, described as a short man with dark hair. Anyone with any information, are asked to contact the NNPD.
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