By j.a. kazimer
Pyrotechnic Beat New Never News
A freakish four alarm fire broke out overnight at the headquarters of the villain's union in Greenwitch Village costing the lives of two henchmen. The fire burned the first two floors, causing over twenty thousand dollars in damage. VP of Union Affairs, Miss Muffet stated, 'I just sat on my tuffet, eating my curds and whey, when along came a fire...'
Police suspect the fire started when a non-union employee jumped over a candlestick.
Showing posts with label Fire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fire. Show all posts
Morning Fire Destroys Shoe
by j.a. kazimer
Fire Watch, New Never News
An early morning fire broke out in the New Never City area known as Prada. Firefighters suspect the fire started following a foot race between an old woman and her numerous children. No one was hurt in the fire, but the flames destroyed a pair of clogs.
Fire Watch, New Never News
An early morning fire broke out in the New Never City area known as Prada. Firefighters suspect the fire started following a foot race between an old woman and her numerous children. No one was hurt in the fire, but the flames destroyed a pair of clogs.
Fire at the Clock Plant, Midnight Believed to be the Cause
By j.a. kazimer
Arson New Never News
A fire overnight at the Clock Factory caused extensive damage, but no reports of lives lost. Well, with the exception of one, little mouse. Who witness, Hickory Dickory of the New Never City Dorks, said, ran up the clock, the clock struck one, the mouse ran down, causing the friction blamed for starting the blaze.
Family members could not be reached for comment, as they are away attending a seminar for the blind.
Jack's Junk Is Out of The Trunk
By j.a. kazimer
Sports New Never News
Jack B. Nimble. Jack B. Quick. One of these jackasses jumped over a flaming candlestick, suffering third degree burns on his genital. Witnesses said, "Poor Jack's crotch was engulfed in flames. What kind of moron jumps over a candlestick?"
Mysterious Fire at the Villainous Union
By j.a. kazimerPyrotechnic Beat New Never News
A freakish four alarm fire broke out overnight at the headquarters of the villain's union in Greenwitch Village. The fire burned the first two floors, causing over twenty thousand dollars in damage. VP of Union Affairs, Miss Muffet stated, 'I just sat on my tuffet, eating my curds and whey, when along came a fire...'
Not surprisingly, the fire is under investigation. The sheriff has released this sketch of the suspect, described as a short man with dark hair. Anyone with any information, are asked to contact the NNPD.
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