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Showing posts with label Dwarfs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dwarfs. Show all posts

Mirror Declared Incompetent

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall has been declared incompetent by a jury of his peers. Charges against the mirror were brought by Snow White after the mirror declared the Wicked Witch, "The fairest of them all."

The jury, made up of dwarfs, quickly rendered a guilty verdict.



Dwarfs Arrested After Short Fight

By j.a. kazimer
Stubby Crime Beat New Never News

After a violent brawl in Easter Egg Village overnight three dwarfs were arrested, while four others were hospitalized with minor injuries. Apparently, the mini-ruckus stared when Dopey declared "Hi Ho" to a passing woman. Her companion took offense to the remark, and a short battle soon ensued.

Doc, Dopey and Sneezie White will be arranged on Wednesday for changes of public drunkenness. Bail is set for $10,000. A little amount, declared the Jolly Green District Attorney.

Leading Cause of Death ~ Whistling

by j.a. kazimer
Health, New Never News

According to the miners union, the leading cause of miner related death is whistling while you work. Most of the reported deaths occurred by 'accident' according to mining experts: Doc, Dopey, and Homicidal. Miner Mogul, Snow White could not be reached for comment.

Dwarfs Arrested After Overnight Brawl


By j.a. kazimer
Stubby Crime Beat New Never News


After a violent brawl in Greenwitch Village overnight three dwarfs were arrested, while four others were hospitalized with minor injuries. Apparently, the mini-ruckus stared when Dopey declared "Hi Ho" to a passing woman. Her companion took offense to the remark, and the short battle soon ensued.

Doc, Dopey and Sneezey White will be arranged on Wednesday for changes of public drunkenness.