Mirror, Mirror on the Wall has been declared incompetent by a jury of his peers. Charges against the mirror were brought by Snow White after the mirror declared the Wicked Witch, "The fairest of them all."
The jury, made up of dwarfs, quickly rendered a guilty verdict.
Showing posts with label Snow White. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Snow White. Show all posts
Domestic Disturbance at Snow White’s
by Alicia Howie
Crime Beat, New Never News
All the King’s Men were dispatched late last night to the third block
of New Never City’s Poison Apple Lane. Information is sketchy, but a
source close to the investigation tells us a neighbor reported hearing
loud shouts and ruckuses coming from Snow White’s cottage just before
the mouse ran up the clock.
The neighbor, identified by New Never News as “a mysterious old
woman,” claims Snow White’s tenants, seven surly dwarves, were to
blame. “One girl, seven men, it just couldn’t last,” the source
commented.
Snow White remains in hospital care, her condition listed as the
fairest of them all. Six of the dwarves, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Happy,
Grumpy, and Doppy, are being held without bond pending trial. Sleepy,
the only dwarf not involved, could not be reached for comment.
Crime Beat, New Never News
All the King’s Men were dispatched late last night to the third block
of New Never City’s Poison Apple Lane. Information is sketchy, but a
source close to the investigation tells us a neighbor reported hearing
loud shouts and ruckuses coming from Snow White’s cottage just before
the mouse ran up the clock.
The neighbor, identified by New Never News as “a mysterious old
woman,” claims Snow White’s tenants, seven surly dwarves, were to
blame. “One girl, seven men, it just couldn’t last,” the source
commented.
Snow White remains in hospital care, her condition listed as the
fairest of them all. Six of the dwarves, Bashful, Doc, Sneezy, Happy,
Grumpy, and Doppy, are being held without bond pending trial. Sleepy,
the only dwarf not involved, could not be reached for comment.
Leading Cause of Death ~ Whistling
by j.a. kazimer
Health, New Never News
According to the miners union, the leading cause of miner related death is whistling while you work. Most of the reported deaths occurred by 'accident' according to mining experts: Doc, Dopey, and Homicidal. Miner Mogul, Snow White could not be reached for comment.
Health, New Never News
According to the miners union, the leading cause of miner related death is whistling while you work. Most of the reported deaths occurred by 'accident' according to mining experts: Doc, Dopey, and Homicidal. Miner Mogul, Snow White could not be reached for comment.
Wicked Queen Promotes An Apple A Day Awareness
by j.a. kazimer
Health New Never News
An apple a day will keep the doctor away, says the Wicked Queen. She further demonstrated the fact by offering local girl, Snow White, a bite of a red delicious hand picked by the queen's semi-faithful woodsmen.
Snow White declared the apple, "Delicio...choke...cough...cough..." And fainted dead away with delight at her treat.
Meter Maidens Claim Sexual Harassment
By j.a. kazimer
Legal News New Never News
All over New Never City, Meter Maidens are quitting, claiming sexual harassment at the hands of New Never City Parking Comissioner, Jolly Green-Gaint. Former Meter Maiden, Snow White states, "He stands around, saying things like, 'Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant' and then waggles his leafy eyebrows. It's disgusting."
The mayor of New Never City is looking into the allegations.
Legal News New Never News
All over New Never City, Meter Maidens are quitting, claiming sexual harassment at the hands of New Never City Parking Comissioner, Jolly Green-Gaint. Former Meter Maiden, Snow White states, "He stands around, saying things like, 'Ho Ho Ho, Green Giant' and then waggles his leafy eyebrows. It's disgusting."
The mayor of New Never City is looking into the allegations.
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