Dawn of Lead 2019: Here Be Monsters!

Found this post lurking amongst the various drafts that have been slowly amalgamating on my blog for a while now and thought it was high time I shared it with you!

Aren't You A Little Pointy Headed For A Stormtrooper?

Wow! You thought my Tyranids were a blast from the past all the way back from 2017... That's nothing - get ready to party like it's 2016 'cos that's when this lot were painted!

Night of the Living Lead 2018

Sit down and mark ye well. Here follows a brief description of the ridiculous fashions of these distracted times . A tale of a world turned upside down. A tale of King-makers and Bastards, of trials and treason. Brother against brother, families divided and the land of Little Albion all in a kerfuffle.

Unleash the Poodles of War!

BOYL 2018 - The Shrine of Rigg

So here it is! It's been a long time coming but finally the Shrine of Rigg exists! And has paint on it! And we played a game with it!

BOYL 2018 - The Trolltooth Wars: Raid on Coven

Wow - another year and another BOYL and they still keep getting better! It is genuinely an event that gives me a lump in my throat as I drive home wishing it wasn't all over for another 365 days.

This year was busy as ever and as you can see from the group photos Orlygg kindly posted up on Facebook, possibly the busiest yet!

BOYL 2017: Space Fleet Spectacular

Bloody hell - how did it get to be October?!

And I never got round to finishing off the last of my BOYL 2017 reports! Apologies to my most excellent gaming buddies Paul (of Golgfag fame on the Oldhammer forum) and JB Asslessman (Crosser of Channels and painter extroadinaire!) with whom I shared that last balmy Sunday afternoon engaged in a little fleet action!

The Only Good Bug is a Dead Bug... WH40K 2nd ed at BOYL 2017

Another day, another planet, another futile struggle against the overwhelming hordes of the Hive Mind!

Told you there was a bit of a theme for me this year!

It's an ugly planet - a Bug Planet!

As you will see from the next few posts there was a bit of a running theme for me at BOYL 2017 - Bugs!

BOYL 2017 - The Trolltooth Wars

The Trolltooth Wars slowly rumble on! In fact it's been two years since myself and Paul played the first scenario - the Hill Goblin ambush on Marr's Cunnelwort caravan that started the war in the first place.

BOYL 2017 - A Tale of Two Gamers!

The first game I played at BOYL this year (other than the excellent Jetbike race on the Helsreach table) was the culmination of the Tale of Four Gamers: Nerves of Lead painting challenge myself and three other friends embarked on soon after last year's BOYL.

For various reasons two of our compadres had to drop out so that left me and Ashley to duke it out on the table top. To spice things up a bit we decided to introduce a simple scenario with a limited number of turns rather than just a line 'em up and knock 'em down style battle.

To this effect Ashley's Liche had taken possession of a cache of magical spices...

Raising Hell!

More BOYL reminiscing! The Saturday was a busy one for epic gaming and the afternoon saw me and Steve Casey facing off against each other with 3000 points of tanks and infantry and 3000 points of Titans and a fist full of rules in the form of Adeptus Titanicus and Space Marine 1st edition.

The battle lines were drawn with my Space Wolves (also featured here in close up) and Fire Wasp Titans advancing on Steve's Death Guard Marines and brilliantly converted Nurgle Titans. Setting up was the easy bit - the tricky bit was getting our heads around the rules spread over several books and White Dwarfs! The basic set up was that the forces of the Imperium were rushing to stop the despicable rituals being performed in a desecrated Imperial cathedral and prevent the summoning of whatever Daemonic monstrosity heeded the cultists cries. Steve's Nurgle forces were intent on allowing the summoning to take place by holding off the attacking Space Wolves...

Death to the Daleks!

Another post dredged up from the vaults!

This was the climactic battle of the Dr Who scenario I wrote for the "Battle at the Farm" - a weekend I hosted for Ollie and Richard back in 2014 at my folks' place in the Lake District. This was made even more fun by Richard's excellent Imperial Dalek army - a fitting foe for my Renegades! Ollie took command of the Brigadier, the Doctor and the Unit forces.

Escape from the Evil Empire

Captain Gasma looked about her in barely disguised disgust. The spaceport on Lox was badly maintained, poorly administrated and it looked as though the Port Authority had given up the fight against the graffiti artists and fly posters. The shiny chrome of her highly polished armour glinted incongruously in the shabby hangar as her troopers formed up in the usual patrol pattern in front of the shuttle they had just arrived in. It promised to be just another routine assignment - relieve garrison, patrol the area, maintain barracks to correct Imperial standards. Another routine assignment on another backwater planet.

Just Farke-ing About

A big thanks to all concerned for an excellent game down at the Foundry on Sunday - as always it was a right laugh and a pleasure to game with a thoroughly decent bunch of chaps and great to make the acquaintance of some new faces! Without gushing too much, it was one of the most enjoyable games I've had with fair play and good humour in abundance.

This was all the brain child of James over at Realm of Chaos 80's and worked a treat - especially the timed turns! Check out his excellent article on GM'ing the game. The basic premise was that we each brought along a unit of baddies and a unit of goodies which were balanced in terms of points. I was very happy to be given command of the baddies and must congratulate my team on their assault of Far Corfe. Well done to Steve Casey and his team of goodies for a sterling defence!

In Defence of Far Corfe

Just putting the finishing touches to the unit rules cards for the big Oldhammer game today down at the Foundry.

In Defense of Far Corfe is Orlygg's brain child, continuing Warlord Paul's long running Albion Adventures games - and should prove to be a most enjoyable day's gaming! The basic premise is that players should bring along a goodie unit and a baddie unit which are both balanced - this should mean that whoever turns up on the day, we should end up with two evenly matched sides necessary for this particular scenario. Whether or not we get to command the units we bring or end up controlling someone else's will be randomly determined...

Here are my two offerings -

Katyah Bolokov's Narsty Nobblahs

These Mourngul Renegades are far from home - reviled even by their own despicable kind for their gross perversions and sadistic tendencies. Bolokov is accompanied by his faithful Hobhound, Gobblah Nutask - a fine specimen with a particularly glossy coat, perhaps due to a rather particular diet his master is often want to feed him...

Lurking amongst the ranks is his champion, Varesk Timay - a particularly unpleasant and sneaky Hobgoblin, skilled in the use of sharp bladed weapons with an almost surgical skill.

                         

Earl Farkwart Farkerie's Cleisterfuckentruppe

Farkwart (or Farkwit as his men are oft want to call him) is in fact a disgraced Earl - banished from the familial seat for being overly familiar with a stranger who was far more porcine than good taste would permit. He has since earned some notoriety as the commander of a mercenary band of pikemen. Their past exploits (most of which ended badly thanks to Farkwart's many deficiencies) have earned them the moniker, Cleisterfuckentruppe.

There are two troopers of note amongst the truppen. These are Le Grand Branler (far right of the front rank before the archers) - a grizzled Bretonnian veteran with a slight inferiority complex about the size of his chopper. On the opposite side of the unit (for good reason) and waving a similarly large weapon around is Schwanz Grossenegger - a particularly well endowed and suitably cocky Greatsword from Nuln. The rest of the troops are a mixture of pikemen and archers.

Special Rules - Le Grand Branler has an inferiority complex about the size of his chopper. He must take a WP test to overcome this for each round of combat he is engaged in. If successful he becomes so enraged that he is subject to frenzy (+1 to hit, damage and saving throw, immune to psychology and must always follow up enemy in combat) for that round. If he fails, he loses heart and suffers -1 to hit and -1 to damage for that round.

Schwanz Grossenegger is quite the opposite and is overly cocky thanks to being particularly well endowed. He must take a CL test for each round of combat he is engaged in. If he passes, his enemy is so intimidated by his alpha male aura that he suffers -1 to hit Schwanz. If Schwanz fails the test, his enemy sees through the bluster and gains +1 to hit Schwanz.

Both Schwanz Grossenegger and Le Grand Branler are subject to animosity towards each other and must test unless the enemy is within charge range. The rest of the unit are quite used to their bickering and may leave them behind if they become embroiled in a brawl. Schwanz and Branler must rejoin the unit as soon as they can.

As you can tell the puns will be flying thick and fast today and it should prove a most entertaining game. I'll endeavour to take pics and cobble together some kind of narrative for the whole thing...

Nevermind Dungeoneering...

Yesterday was all about electioneering!

Thanks again to Warlord  Paul for the second installment in his Albion Adventures (I missed the first thanks to a bout of flu) and thanks again to our fantastic hosts at the Foundry, Bryan and Marcus.

Paul's scenario had us getting involved in the murky goings-on of Election day on Beacon Island, one of Albion's more hotly contested marginal seats.

The only family living on the island line up to eye up the prospective candidates and wonder who on earth to vote for.

From left to right we have: Sir Edward Hatband the Betrayer, Lord McCameron the Bastard, Lady Pike the Kingmaker, Baron Haystacks the Disappointer and Lord Far Age the Mad.

 Our goal was to come to decide on which candidate to back after a particularly sordid round of horse trading in which treasure and magical items were exchanged for political support.
whichever candidate received the most votes would gain control of the island and its Slann Gate - to use and abuse as they would see fit. Having sworn allegiance (or sold or souls) we were then tasked with escorting  a voter to the polling booth and ensuring they voted accordingly.

Easy huh?

Unfortunately not when the forces of political disaffection are ranged against you...

The reptilian embodiment of temptation to vote for personal gain at the expense of social responsibility. 

David Hatband - betrayed and imprisoned by his treacherous brother and now quite mad and hellbent on revenge.

These and other terrible adversaries threatened universal suffering disfranchising us from universal suffrage.
Nik's elves, Steve's Norse barbarians and my own Bandits attempt to sneak past the Ghost of Socialism...

Even the forces of evil were not exampt - Jame's and Stuart's warband, led by Ladty McDeath herself  encounter Nature herself, enraged by the loss of direction by the Greens.

Chris' brave Hobbits scamper cheerily towards the Phantom of Northern Independence.

Luckily for Richard's Militant Tendency, they were fully paid up with the Union and had backed Hatband - the Ghost of Socialism smiled upon them and let them past.

The Hobbits, unnerved by the Phantom of northern Independence, decided to try their luck with Mother Nature. What could go wrong for such peace-loving horticulturists?

Nik's Elves attempted to reason with the deranged David Hatband, but the tortured soul was too embittered to be swayed.

Meanwhile Jon Eochaid had heard tell of a mighty Dragon that lurked in the waters. Taking the plunge he proceeded to shout challenges to the beast, much to the annoyance of his companions.

Perhaps it was their reliance on intensive farming techniques to satisfy their insatiable hunger or maybe just the sight of the flowers Tom Bombadil had cruelly torn from the ground - either way mother Nature was enraged by the presence of the Hobbits and barred their way.

The Norsemen, pausing only to laugh at the ridiculous figure of Eochaid flailing at the aged Turtle Dragon, took the opportunity to cross the river unopposed.

Not even the soothing tones of a magical flute could wash away the enmity of all those years of obscurity - David still stood unmoved.

Having had a few issues (not to mention the demise of her husband) with nature in the form of Treemen, Lady McDeath set her faithful Spot on both Mother Nature and the Hobbits. The Chaos hound's fiery breath left the Elemental a charred stump and the Hobbits running for their lives. 

The Militant Tendency cross the river, swearing to strike a blow for Socialism while Eochaid and Groucho Panzer struggle with a real Dragon for once.

The Hobbits also plunge into the river amidst clouds of smoke as Spot bounds after them.

Bruno Bersi and Alfred Shortwick roll their eyes and join in the struggle with the Dragon.

Suddenly the Norsemen's way is blocked as shy Tory voters finally make their minds up, rising from the ground with cadaverous moans. 

The Bretonnians have no truck with socialism and their heroic leader moves swiftly before any  of the surfs get any ideas. The forlorn shade is dispatched quickly and is banished with a great banshee wail that sees all in the vicinity falling to the ground clutching bleeding ears.

The bandits encircle the aged river beast and rain down blows to little or no avail. In return the short sighted Dragon seems to hone in on the delicious scent of Shortwick the Halfling, snapping at the diminutive adventurer time and again.

Spot also seems to have acquired a taste for Halflings...

The Norsemen make short work of the shy Tories and the Militant tendency nearly fall foul of the shifting sands of the political landscape as a gaping pit of quicksand opens up beneath them.

Spot's dinner is interrupted by the emergence of the Monster Raving Worm, but is it out of the frying pan and into the oven for the Hobbits as the hound turns tail and flees?

Finally David sees reason at the hands of the emollient Elves and stands aside - just on time as the Serpent of selfish voting attempts to sneak up from behind.

The combat in the river grinds on as the river slowly begins to run red with the blood of the Turtle Dragon.

The Militant Tendency find a way through the shifting sands by moving to the centre ground. Meanwhile the Shy Tories drop like flies.

And the Monster Raving worm strikes!

As the various parties approach the booth, yet more adversaries emerge (I didn't catch what the dragon represented - anyone want to elaborate?).

A foul internet troll rears its ugly head and plans a vicious personal smear campaign against the Militant Tendency.

Voter apathy threatens to overwhelm the bandits as the Dragon clings grimly to life.

Bravely escaping from the clutches of the worm, Tom Bombadil ushers his voter towards the booth - could this be the first vote cast?

Unfortunately not as the voter is callously killed - the Norsemen and the Militant Tendency look like they're in the frame for this heinous case of electoral fraud.

So they look busy by getting stuck into the Dragon and Internet Troll respectively.

 - neither creature lasts long.

The Militant Tendency clean up the dirty face of politics.

Things begin to hot up as the parties converge on the polling station. The Hobbits have concoted a cunning plan to stand on each other's shoulders and dress themselves in the their ex-voter's clothes in an attempt to get their voice heard. The Elves, having been mired in the mystic mist of exit polls and 24 hour political commentary, find their way out with their moral compass,

Spot, still lusting after the exquisite taste of Halfling, sets upon Tom Bombadil. In a miraculous turn of events, the plucky little guy sees of the baying hound. Not sure if he is waving his hat voctoriously or wafting away the smell of defeat that Spot has left behind...

Lady McDeath, having communed with the evil spirit of Russel Firebrand, orders her minions to prevent anyone from voting...

Which they do by the time honoured way of having a riot!

Amidst the fracas the Elves encounter a vile shit-eating Otyugh - What is worse than the smell is the foul beast's view on immigrants as it begins its assault with the war cry, "I'm not racist but..."

A bad day for Evil - The Elves knock out their opponent, an incapacitated Spot is put down by a Norseman and Lady McDeath's thugs are largely sent packing. 

The Bandits finally kill the Dragon Turtle and hurry towards the polling station. Rik Lupin takes advantage of the ruckus to "persuade" McDeath's voter to come with her.

Finding the door to the polling booth to be as illusory as democracy itself, confusion reigns amongst the voters.

That is until one of the Norsemen threatens to headbutt the Returning Officer if he doesn't stop messing about.

The last few voters hurry towards the booth and Eochaid valiantly slays the unconscious Otyugh.

And the votes are in!

Epilogue

So after a tumultuous and highly questionable campaign, the polling station closed its doors and the counting began. Meanwhile a strange flickering light began to play across the opening of the Slann gate and the various adventurers, candidates and voters drifted over to peer at it curiously.

A strange Goblin like figure appeared and introduced itself as Jerram-we Vine. It preceded to prattle on in a strange language, speaking of such arcane matters as statistics and swingometers as a succession of colours swayed across the portal that had materialised in the gate.

The Returning Officer emerged from the Polling Booth and scowled at the imp that was now cavorting around the Slann Gate cackling about tactical voting. Ignoring the commotion he turned to the crowd and read the results...

Hatband, Sir Edward, the Betrayer - 1 vote
McCameron, Lord,  the Bastard - 1 vote
Pike, Lady, the Kingmaker - 1 vote
Haystacks, Baron, the Disappointer - 2 votes
Far Age,  Lord, the Mad - 2 votes

And so an uneasy coalition was formed betwixt the Disappointer and the Mad, although another election was soon called because no one could stand the new purple and yellow flags...

Edit - Here's a word from Warlord Paul on the scenario he created for us - The Albion Adventures II
Also Orlygg's post is well worth checking out to see some more great pics of the event - not to mention the treasures Bryan came down to show us! Realm of Chaos 80's