The War on Chanukah

Absolutely brilliant: The Colbert Report.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Daily/Colbert - War on Hanukkah
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor The Daily Show on Facebook

Solid Woot Gelt

Hat tip: Jughead

This item on Woot is okay, but the description is priceless:

We were recently reading in Alfred Kolatch’s JEWISH BOOK OF WHY about the Hanukkah custom, reportedly dating to medieval times, of playing card games late into the night. Now, we like a hand of Texas hold ‘em as much as the next person, but we’d never heard of this tradition. Obviously, we’ve been hanging at all the wrong JCCs.
Plenty of rabbis have frowned on these games, Kolatch claims, but no less a big-shot than Rabbi Levi Yitzhak the Berdichever spoke up in favor of them, arguing—get this—that marathon gambling sessions would help condition yeshiva students to stay up late, a skill they could then use during long nights studying the Torah.
OK, far be it from us to second-guess Big Berdi. But honestly, that sounds like some serious rationalization to us. Look, it’s cool with us if you want to play Canasta ‘til dawn. It’s better than cool. It’s great. Call us up, deal us in, we’ll bring the soft drinks. But don’t give us this Torah-study training cover story. Because you know what would train you even better to stay up late studying Torah? Staying up late studying Torah.
This shirt is for anyone who’s celebrating straight through the holiday like a sufganiyot-fueled party machine, and doesn’t need a pious excuse. Come on, turn up the music! Fry up the potato pancakes! Wiggle like a glow worm, dance like a spinning dreidel! Light this year’s Hanukkah candles at both ends, kids—because we’re halfway through the awesomest eight-night-all-night party ever.
Besides, there’ll be plenty of time to catch up on sleep in a few days when everything closes for Christmas.
Wear this shirt: to protect your torso from spattering latke grease.
Don’t wear this shirt: with latke-grease spatters all over it, though.
This shirt tells the world: “Salsa, swing, disco, horah, whatever, I feel like DANCING.”
We call this color: IsRoyali Blue

R' Goldwasser in KGH Tonight

R' Dovid Goldwasser is at the Young Israel of Queens Valley from 8:00-9:30pm tonight - it should be excellent! (If we weren't going to be in Monsey, I'd probably be there.) The title is "Seeing Hashgacha in Times of Challenge".

The address is 141-51 77th Avenue.

Enjoy!

Orrin Hatch's Chanukah Song

Hat tip: Mom

This is interesting and cute, and just kinda nice:

Senator Orrin G. Hatch, a solemn-faced Republican with a soft spot for Jews and a love of Barbra Streisand, has penned a catchy holiday tune, “Eight Days of Hanukkah.”

The video was posted Tuesday night on Tablet, an online magazine of Jewish lifestyle and culture, just in time for Hanukkah.

Known around the Senate as a prolific writer of Christian hymns and patriotic melodies, Mr. Hatch, 75, said this was his first venture into Jewish music. It will not be his last.

“Anything I can do for the Jewish people, I will do,” Mr. Hatch said in an interview before heading to the Senate floor to debate an abortion amendment. “Mormons believe the Jewish people are the chosen people, just like the Old Testament says.”

In short, he loves the Jews. And based on an early sampling of listeners, the feeling could be mutual.

There's also a detailed piece by Jeffrey Goldberg in Tablet about how it came about; meanwhile, enjoy!

Eight Days of Hanukkah from Tablet Magazine on Vimeo.

95 Years of Grandma

(Note: I better not be getting the night wrong.)

Tonight my dear grandmother in Cleveland turns 95, as the 5th light of Chanukah is her (Hebrew) birthday. She may not usually remember who I am anymore, but Reb Abe sent me something last night that puts that into perspective, albeit differently, from R' Aviner:

My friend told me a children's story about an 80 year old man who came to a doctor's office for a treatment. He requested that they perform the treatment as quickly as possible because he is in a hurry.

During the treatment the nurse asked: "Where are you hurrying off to? Do you have an important doctor's appointment?"

"No, I am eating with my wife in the hospital?"

"What is wrong with her?"

"She has had Alzheimer's for a few years already."

"And if you are a little late, will she worry?"

"No, she does not understand what is happening to her. For the last five years she does not recognize anyone, not even me."

"And you visit her every morning even though she does not know who you are?" – the nurse said surprisingly.

"She does not know who I am," the man said smiling, "But I know who she is and who she was."

We love you Grandma, and Happy Birthday!! May you have many more years of smiles! :)

And now, the best song of the season, which is worth reposting every year:

Appreciating Miracles, Indeed

JACP has a beautiful post on Chanukah, miracles, and appreciating why things happen. Excerpt:

I walked into the dining room to close the shades now that the Menorah had finished burning, and realized that it was the third night of Chanukah- exactly five years to the day that I met my husband. Seems like ages ago that I met him in pajamas with a huge mask covering my face, but it wasn't, it was only five years ago.

Five years ago it seemed like I was at my worst- like things were never going to get better. Like I was never going to have hair again, never going to finish treatments, never going to get out of the dark.

But then, at a most unexpected time, my miracle began. I met my husband. None of us knew at the time where that meeting would being us five years later, but looking back, I can definitely say that was the start of my miracle.

Or maybe it wasn't.

Chanukah Video #4 - Kids Time

This is from the Shalom School in Sacramento, CA.

3rd Day of Chanukah

Some good stuff to start the day:

• PsychoToddler took part once again in an online holiday concert, and I thought it was really good.
• BeyondBT with a good post on how Judaism should be fun.
• They also had a good post yesterday on what can be done to avoid the feeling of being "judged" on the part of non-religious people when discussing religion.
• Stam sent me this hilarious post on latkes. Just enjoy the language. :) [Clean!]
  

Chanukah Video #3 - I Am A Good Boy

Elianna keeps informing me that I am a "good boy", whether it is for blowing on my soup as ordered or responding to her "Boker Tov" (though it's dark out) as ordered. And "that's better" when I let her help me make a line on a piece of paper as opposed to trying it myself.

Tonight's videos for your enjoyment on this third night of Chanukah:

• RafiG has three videos, but I like the first one best;
• Dave has a somewhat funny clip on the second candle;
• and I get sent things sometimes in the hopes that I'll write about them. I was sent "Songs in the Key of Hanukkah", which looks pretty interesting and far better than most of what I get, but I haven't had a chance to listen to it yet. From what I have heard of it, I'm betting that people who like the styles of music in general will love it, while others simply won't be interested except for a song or two. It was certainly put together really well (by Ali G/Sasha Baron Cohen's brother Erran Baron Cohen, interestingly, who is in the video below), and includes people like Idan Raichel (remember "Bo-i"?), Y-Love, Jules Brookes, and Yasmin Levy. Now, if someone can explain why every video uses Chassidim, I'd love to hear it - meanwhile, this is pretty entertaining:
  
  

Enjoy!

2nd Day of Chanukah

There's so much inspiration in life if people simply wish to see it.

It's amazing how much we have going on this Chanukah, when we were thinking it would be a rather quiet one. After Ed's vort on Sunday, we had a party last night at my grandparents with my brother, SIL, and Ben, Hen, and Shen; on our way out, my grandmother happens to slide in that "Oh, we're moving to a retirement community in Philadelphia*". Oh, really? When? "Oh, we're starting to pack now, it'll be 2-3 months." I call my mother, and did she know? No, of course not. Ahh, family. Meanwhile, I loved how this photo came out - it's one of my great-grandfather's paintings behind my grandfather's menorah.

This morning, I attended a bris of the son of friends of ours. What's especially nice is that the family of the mother was one which I am particularly close to, and as they live out in the Milwaukee tundra, we only see each other when they have a family simcha here. Tonight, Serach is eating out with a friend while I may go to the Lander chagiga; and we're invited to/part of six more chagigot, birthday and graduation parties, a kiddush, and a bar mitzvah before Chanukah is over. A couple weeks ago, we had nothing in mind but the visit to my grandparents. Life can change fast...

There are some really nice pieces out there today, so enjoy them, and again, Happy Chanukah:

• The Jewish Week has a great piece on R' Horowitz: The Teen Whisperer.
  
• David Linn has a nice story about his grampa's menorah.
• Erachet writes a fascinating story about a (non-religious) woman who wanted to celebrate Chanukah with her daughter, and got it wrong - but so right.
• Northern Light notes some interesting details and sensitivities from her recent trip to the White House. I think it shows how attention to details can matter, even if nobody would really care, and it's really nice.
  
• Great quote:

  Chance favors those in motion. ~ James H. Austin
  

• Jewlicious hosts Haveil Havalim #197!
• Gil discusses what mussar should and shouldn't be learned by/about YU from the Madoff story (quoting the NYT piece).

* One interesting twist on why we care a bit: My grandparents are Conservative, with my grandfather leaning more to the Orthodox side and my grandmother more to the Reform. They'd been looking at two communities - one in Cleveland, which is for everyone but the shul is Orthodox; the one in Philly has a woman rabbi and is less religious, and my grandfather would probably be less comfortable there. But available is available, and they really shouldn't be living completely on their own in icy Queens.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 1st Day of Chanukah

I got sent an email pitching a book by some website today, and the pitch had a link which included some great quotes. One of the best:

It’s our attitude in life that determines life’s attitude toward us. ~ Earl Nightingale

I've posted many Chanukah videos and links in past years, some which are really fun and entertaining, so feel free to peruse the archives... I'm always partial to this candles "choir". :) Meanwhile, people like R' Gil at Hirhurim have great stuff from the past years, from halacha to history to other interesting posts. Elsewhere...

• President Bush over the last number of years has written a personal letter to every family of every soldier who has been killed while serving in the Middle East (about 4,000). That's truly an amazing, heartfelt gesture by a President.
• Great post on SoccerDad noting that the question (upon the death of Mark Felt, the Watergate "Deep Throat") is not whether the media could uncover such a scandal now, but if they would.
• This blog recorded hit #350,000 this morning. Thanks to all the SerandEz writers, readers, commenters, lurkers, and of course, friends!!
  

Dr. Seuss' Hanukkah...

...I am G

G I am...

That Rabbi Flax!
That Rabbi Flax!
I do not like
that Rabbi Flax!

Do you light candles of wax?

I do not light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

Would you light them here or there?

I would not light them here or there.
I would not light them anywhere.
I do not like light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

Would you light them in your house?
Would you light them for your spouse?

I do not light them in my house.
I do not light them for my spouse.
I do not light them here or there.
I do not light them anywhere.
I do not light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

Would you light Telzies* from that box?
Would you light them in your sox?

Not from that box.
Not in my sox.
Not in my house.
Not for my spouse.
I would not light them here or there.
I would not light them anywhere.
I would not light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

Would you? Could you?
In a car?
Light them! Light them!
Here they are.

I would not, could not, in a car.

You may like them.
You will see.
You may light them in a tree!

I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.
I do not light them from that box.
I do not light them in my sox.
I do not light them in my house.
I do not light them for my spouse.
I do not light them here or there.
I do not light them anywhere.
I do not light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you, on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Flax! Let me be!
I would not, could not, from that box.
I could not, would not, in my sox.
I will not light them for my spouse.
I will not light them in my house.
I will not light them here or there.
I will not light them anywhere.
I do not light candles of wax.
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

Say!
In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not, in the dark.

Would you, could you, in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train.
Not in a car. Not in a tree.
I do not light them, Flax, you see.
Not in my house. Not from that box.
Not for my spouse. Not in my sox.
I will not light them here or there.
I do not light them anywhere!

You do not light candles of wax?

I do not light them, Rabbi Flax.

Could you, would you, with a goat?

I would not, could not, with a goat!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not light them in the rain.
I will not light them on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like them from that box.
I do not light them in my sox.
I will not light them in my house.
I do not light them for my spouse.
I do not light them here or there.
I do not light them ANYWHERE!
I do not light candles of wax!
I do not like them, Rabbi Flax.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may, I say.

Rabbi!
If you will let me be, I will try them.
You will see.

Say!
I like candles of wax!
I do! I like them, Rabbi Flax!
And I would light them in a boat.
And I would light them with a goat...
And I will light them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good, so good, you see!
So I will light them from that box.
Yet still not light them in my sox.
And I will light them in my house.
And I will light them for my spouse.
And I will light them here and there.
Say! I will light them ANYWHERE!

I do so like
candles of wax!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Rabbi Flax!

*v'hamevin yavin ;)

A Special Chanukah Video

If you have not yet done so, please read Stam's post below. It's a beautiful story.

Today we had the opportunity to attend Special Ed's very special engagement party. Besides Special Ed and his lucky girl (see, I can be nice, too!), we only knew one person there, C2. Elianna - after a second delay - quickly did her "symbol" and proceeded to have a grand old time parading around. A couple quick funnies from the party:

Ezzie: We actually only met (SpEd's fiancee, Ed2B) once, and we probably scared her.
C2: Yeah, she's way too normal for you guys.

Ed2B: Ed, come here! {snaps, smiling}
SpEd: [dutifully comes over]
Ezzie: (cracks up)

All in all, it was really nice, SpEd & Ed2B are great together, Elianna already seems to love her more than she loves Ed, and we had a great time. We then came home, stopping quickly to get some more Chanukah supplies before lighting. For Kayla, it was her first ever Chanukah, and she was fascinated by the lights. For Elianna, it was her first Chanukah where she really understood anything about what was going on, she had her very own menorah, and she got to "light" it! ("Only Daddy and Imma can touch fire, right?") And of course, good parents (and children) that we are... we videoed it, complete with a glimpse of the best menorah ever:

Happy Chanukah to all!!

A Small Taste of Home

My husband, M, lived in Israel for two years while attending Yeshiva. It's been about two years since he got back and he misses it more than ever. Every time we go to the mall we get a little taste of what he misses so much. Our local mall has 7 kiosks run by Israelis, most of them positioned near each other. The calls of "Shalom, achi!" and sales pitches flood us as we pass by. While I understand a lot of Ivrit, I am still pretty shy and most definitely not comfortable to converse b'Ivrit. M on the other hand can speak an almost flawless Ivrit. So we always stop to chat with them as we pass by, invite them for a Shabbos meal, and offer help with anything they might need.

One of the guys, R, actually called M up a few weeks ago to inquire about mezuzot for his new apartment. M collected a few and went over one night to help R hang the mezuzot.

A few weeks ago, M decided he wanted to do something for the Israelis to bring them a taste of home. They are all in America without their families and no Jewishness around them. Our original plan to bake sufganiot didn't work out as planned, but luckily a local business brought in a shipment from Beigel's in NY. We ordered tin chanukiot and colored chanukah candles from NY, photocopied the brachot, and wrote out cards out that said "Chanukah Sameach!" with our names and phone number.

We were expecting snow storms starting on Friday and lasting through the weekend, so Thursday night we packed up all the goodies and drove our reindeer to the mall. Our first stop was R, since he was familiar with us. He couldn't believe it. We stopped by each kiosk passing out the gifts. The last thing we pulled out at each stop were the sufganiot.

The Israeli kiosk neighbors pulled in closer to watch the show. The people in the stores nearby watched with interest. As we handed out the goodies the Israelis were shrieking with excitement. Chanukiya! Aizeh chamud!

They started singing Chanukah songs, the men shook M's hand and the girls hugged me. One group insisted on taking a picture with us. Many of them hadn't even thought about Chanukah. Almost every single Israeli said they had to call their parents to tell them they would be lighting a chanukiya this year. And almost every single Israeli asked us if we were Chabad.

M was friendly with one of the men that sold Dead Sea products ("Seacret"), Y. Every time M would pass the kiosk A would try to reel him in to buy something for his wife. M got away with it by saying I was very picky about smells, etc. In the middle of all the excitement last night, Y pulled M aside to ask which scent I liked better. M said he didn't know so A shoved a few tubes of lotion under my nose. He went into his whole sales pitch about supporting Israel by purchasing their products. We were laughing that even at a time like this Y could be so determined. We asked if he had read the NYT article on Israeli mall workers and he laughed. The next thing we knew, Y put a set of products into a bag and said "Happy Chanukah!". He threw in some manly mud soap for M too.

We distributed 15 chanukiot and about 2 dozen sufganiot, but the reactions were priceless. Everyone was so excited and happy to have that small taste of home, it felt nice to be the ones to cause that happiness. A few even promised to come for a Shabbat meal too.

Chanukah Sameach!

post script: After we left the mall some friends of ours went. Each kiosk stopped them to ask if they knew Stam & M. The couple decided we must go to the mall waaaay too often, until the found out what had happened earlier in the evening.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 12/16

UPDATED

• R' Enkin at Hirhurim discusses whether one should make the blessings when lighting for a public Chanukah menorah lighting. I found it especially interesting after watching the White House Chanukah event, where you should listen closely to Ben-Gurion's grandson making the bracha. President Bush spoke very nicely, and I think that it's interesting to see him making comments about Truman which would in theory somewhat apply to him sometime in the future as well. Kol Zimra sang after the grandsons of Truman and Ben-Gurion lit the menorah.
  (Thanks Greg for this video link.)
• Jewlicious totals the losses to Jewish organizations from Madoff at at least $600 million, with possibly as much as $1.5 billion.
• JoshWaxman linked to this interesting piece about getting images directly from people's brains. Could be cool if true... also could be scary.
• Cool photo on SoccerDad.
• Forgot this one I saw yesterday which is excellent: Bas~Melech has some really specific points and suggestions regarding the education system that seem quite wise to me.
  

YU Chanukah Concert

Check out this year's YU Chanukah Concert

featuring

Yeshiva Boys Choir, Kuntsler, Gabay & Menucha

Tickets at Jewisheventtickets.com

Arkansas & Baghdad

RebAbe points us to a really nice piece - check it out.

It's been a busy week here (notice the lack of posts), and it feels like busy season has already begun... and now I have to get out of here before I get stuck in the city. Wishing everyone a wonderful Shabbos, and to all those attending the Raggedy SerandEz Shabbaton*... we can't wait to see y'all!!

Have a great Shabbos!!

* If anyone feels like listing the other dozen names for this weekend, feel free. :P

Have a Wonderful Weekend!

In case you can't tell, life is busy. Training at work, Chanukah, family, Browns' games, etc. - these all take precedence.

Have a wonderful, happy Chanukah, and Go Browns!!

SerandEz will be in Monsey for Shabbos this week, celebrating with the in-laws and resting up for next week's Shabbaton of Many Names. V'hamayvin Yavin.

Ezzie's Blog Roundup, 12/6: Chanukah & Creativity

Lest anyone forget, the deadline for the J-Blogosphere Arts Exhibition is this Shabbos, Shabbos Chanukah. For all the creative minds out there, feel free to give it a go!

Also, for all the writers out there, the National Jewish Outreach Program is running a contest through WebAds that could win you a trip for two to Israel. They're asking that you send in a picture or video of a piece of Judaica, and write a short essay or speak briefly about the piece and what it means to you and/or your family. See all the details here; it's really quite simple and it's always nice to reminisce a bit.

Elsewhere:

• Jacob Da Jew is now Da Jeweler! Congratulations.
• If you haven't seen it yet, this post by Corner Point is amazing.
• Jack denigrates Cleveland sports heroes at Jameel's;
• JoeSettler discusses an important charity which should show up sometimes in the WebAds box above called Warm the Needy.
• WBM notes some good news for Chanuka - Israel's secular population is turning more traditional. This will simply help the different populations understand one another much better.
• JBM is one of many bothered by an environmentalist call to have people light a candle less each night.
• LOR has some good Chanuka safety tips as usual, along with some Chanuka links.
• And S. notes a shul holding a $100,000 raffle... 200 years ago.
  

A freilichen Chanukah!

Small Nisim and Small Packages

A couple of nice stories...

Story #1: My co-worker, who is not religious, came over to tell me about the small 'nes' (miracle) that happened to him last night (his words). He realized he didn't have any candles to light for Chanukah, so he planned on going to the Judaica store nearby after work. Unfortunately, work didn't end until 8pm for him - so he was going to try and get some then, though he didn't know where. But then he was invited out by his manager to drinks on 43rd St., and couldn't really pass it up - but by the time he came out, it was already close to 10:00. Where could he find candles at such a late hour?

He usually walks across 45th Street to get to his apartment on the East Side, but since the bar was on 43rd, he decided to walk across 42nd Street instead. As he was walking, he reached the corner of 42nd and 5th Avenue - and lo and behold, what does he see? A 15-16 year old Chabad kid giving out candles for people to light! He offers to pay a couple dollars and is refused - "They're all to be given out" - and takes home his candles and happily lights his menorah.

Story #2: This morning, as I got off the bus to get onto the subway, there was a woman trying to take a baby (in a snap-and-go) down the steps... and walk her child who was probably about 3 years old down, as well. She noticed the crowds coming off the buses behind her, and wanted to hurry down the steps, and tried encouraging the 3-year old to walk down on her own - but the girl wanted to hold her hand. So she tried to walk her down quickly, but the child was taking her time, holding the railing with her other hand and counting "1! 2! 3! ..." as she walked down the steps. The mother said to her, "C'mon, hurry..." and walked a couple of steps further down to encourage the girl to do so, but a lady right behind me called out to the mother, "Don't rush her! She's counting!" I thought this was really nice.

The mother still felt bad about the crowd, though, and tried again saying to the girl, "C'mon, honey, hurry - people are trying to get to work." Again the lady called out, "It's okay!" It was nice to see so many people patiently waiting, smiling, as the little girl continued her way down the steps.

Story #3: From SIL: Ben (5) and Hen (3) were standing on a stool watching me make latkes last night. The stool is a about a foot and a quarter wide, so it was challenging for both of them to stand comfortably. (Ben suggested that we either get another stool or skinnier feet.)

Ben: Hen, could you tell your yetzer hara to stop pushing me!