"Boring is the new exciting." ~ Cymbaline
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Boring
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Somewhere in Between
I can't beLosing sleep over thisNo I can'tAnd now I cannot stop pacingGive me a few hoursI'll have this all sorted outIf my mind would just stop racing
Cause I cannot stand stillI can't be this unsturdyThis cannot be happening
This is over my headBut underneath my feetCause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beatAnd everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easyCause I'm waiting for tonightBeen waiting for tomorrowI'm somewhere in betweenWhat is real and just a dream?
I was sitting at this computer tonight, not quite ready to head to sleep, wanting to write... but not really sure what I wanted to write. I noticed that my Pandora was paused, so I hit play - and the above song started playing, and it was absolutely perfect.~ Somewhere in Between by Lifehouse
Earlier today, a couple of good friends who are in town for Sukkos stopped by briefly to say hello, and one friend noted that the present time must be a nice feeling for me in a lot of ways: Thank God, some important aspects of life are looking up nicely, and before those "get going", I have a couple weeks to relax - particularly weeks that include Sukkos, which is always a really nice Yom Tov. I agreed (and do agree), but while this has been true for a few weeks now, there's this other feeling that comes along with it that's a bit weird: A feeling of being caught somewhere in between.
(I had written much more, but removed it.)
Suffice it to say that being somewhere in between is odd: It's hard, but it's not necessarily bad. As the song says, your mind is racing, but in circles. You feel unsturdy, but you feel that tomorrow you will be in far more control... probably. You've been waiting for so much, and prepared and worked hard for them, and now there's not much to do but wait - and then take it from there. Meanwhile, you just wait, knowing what's coming.
Here's to the future: May it be completely real, yet feel like a dream.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Honesty and the Jewish Community VIII: Quotable Interjection
"Anonymous" recently made the following comment on a post:
IMO as long as he is supporting frum families it makes no difference if it is stolen money.It doesn't appear that there is a logical reply to someone who thinks in such a twisted fashion and truly believes this, but it brought to mind the following observation of a Gemara made recently by R' Yitzchak Adlerstein at Cross-Currents:
The latter version tells us that serious sin is no bar to emunah. Chonyo could try to kill his brother for his aggrandizement, but this would not get in the way of his seeing himself as remaining within the basic faith. People rationalize all sorts of things, including the worst transgressions.In light of what numerous friends of ours (and we) have gone through the past years, it seemed an apropos pair of thoughts - particularly when combined.
The former version, however, shows us that an upstanding member of the community whose safety is jeopardized by someone close and trusted, and who is then let down by a community that does not protect him, will easily run headlong out of the fold, and take up the embrace of an alien ideology. He has had enough of the one he used to be comfortable in. If he can be treated so savagely by people he trusts, and if the community at large is powerless to save him, he will walk out.
There appears to be a general feeling among a thankfully small but unfortunately not insignificant portion of the Orthodox community which feels that various indiscretions and transgressions, no matter the size or impact, somehow do not take away from one's faith (or even enhance, as seen above). Worse in a fashion, however, is the shrugging of shoulders and sometimes outright support to the transgressors, even at the expense of those upstanding members of the community whose safety were jeopardized by these formerly close and trusted individuals.
Some of the primary thrusts of this series are to demonstrate just how dangerous this attitude is for those people who are jeopardized and how important it is that as a community we stamp out not only corruption, but support for corrupt individuals. It was unexpected to find that there are some who do not grasp the basic concepts of right and wrong, but as it is futile to convince those who are capable of rationalizing anything, this series will not attempt to do so. Those who believe evil is justified will continue to justify such acts to themselves and one another, and the only way to deal with such people is to isolate and expose them - at least, the ones who aren't placed in prison first.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Quote on Purim
"There was no splitting of the sea, no manna falling from heaven, no walls tumbling down. In other words, it’s not so different from our situation today – a problematic Persian leader whose primary objective is to destroy the Jews, no obvious way out of the mess, and no overt signs that Hashem is going to nullify his plans."
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Quote of the Day
Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind. ~ Austin O'Malley
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Quote of the Day
I can tell you're not from New York. ~ said to me after a brief meeting.(I replied with a Thank You, of course.)
Related: SD's top ten ways to spot a tourist, which are mostly the classics, but a couple really good new ones.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Rewarding Honesty
“For us, this is about balancing the budget. We've got a $3.6 billion budget deficit. We are broke. Just like nearly every other state across the country, we're broke. It's about time somebody stood up and told the truth.” - Governor Scott Walker (Wisconsin)In case you haven't been following the news, Wisconsin is the first of many states facing a major battle with unions of government workers over budgetary concern, including Ohio, Indiana, Tennessee, and Pennsylvania. Commentary has a solid piece criticizing The New York Times' coverage, particularly as it compares to their coverage of Tea Party demonstrations the past year or so, but it is important to note a different quality lacking in almost every bit of coverage that seems to be out there about these demonstrations.
First, a few points about unions, and in particular, government unions. As noted yesterday, even FDR was against the idea of collective bargaining with if not actual government unions. By definition, working for government means you are supposed to be working on behalf of the people whom you representing, not against them. This virtue extends to every government employee, and is not limited to the directly elected representatives; if anything, one could argue that non-elected employees have an even greater responsibility in this regard. One of the most troubling aspects of the Wisconsin debate is not the legitimate protests by union members and those who oppose them, but the actual fleeing by every Democrat in the State Legislature from the State of Wisconsin to stop there from being a vote, as they would lose the vote. (The state requires 20 members present to vote, and Republicans have 19 seats to the Democrats' 14.)
Aside from being completely unethical and an assault on democracy and on the voters of Wisconsin, it is worth noting that these lawmakers, like the unions protesting, are paid members of society who are being paid salaries from the people's taxes to not work. The union members have doctors handing out doctors' notes attesting to their being sick, allowing them to falsely call in sick for the day. These doctors have justified this practice by calling the predicament alternatively "stressful" on the members or that "sick and tired" of Gov. Walker is as good as being physically ill. These doctors seem to have faded a bit as media and blog coverage questioned whether this could cost someone their license and the Univ. of Wisconsin Medical School began investigating.
Beyond that, however, is the content being shared with the people. It took a deep search to find a mainstream article that even mentioned the issues that are being protested with any level of explanation or context - and even then, it was very short and non-detailed. The two primary issues at stake are what percentage of government workers' pay should be contributed toward pensions and health insurance. Currently, for every dollar being chipped in by a government worker, the taxpayers chip in another $53+. Imagine if your company ponied up that amount: You'd be living it up. Governor Walker has proposed raising the percentage of pay being chipped in from about 1-2% to 5.8%, much more similar to what people do in private companies. In addition, he wants to raise the percentage of premiums being kicked in toward health insurance policies from 6% to 12.6%, which is still just half as compared to people in most private companies. (Most private companies have employees kick in anywhere from 20-50% of their premiums.) It is for these reasons that the Wisconsin voters elected Gov. Walker to do exactly as he's doing, and why he has major support within Wisconsin.
Yet we're not hearing these details, and nobody is putting them into context: We hear soundbites as always, detailing on the one side how the governor is trying to "destroy" the middle class or unions, versus a weak defense on the other of using this tactic to help trim deficit shortfalls. There have been statements about Wisconsin having a "below average" unemployment rate or how its budget shortfall "is not as bad" as other places, implying that perhaps they don't need to address this in quite this way at this time. But this is shortsighted and harmful. Governor Christie (a Democrat) in New Jersey put this best recently, as told over in a great piece entitled Where the Leaders Are:
He introduced pension and benefit reforms on a Tuesday in September, and that Friday he went to the state firefighters convention in Wildwood. It was 2 p.m., and "I think you know what they had for lunch." As Mr. Chrisie recounted it: "You can imagine how that was received by 7,500 firefighters. As I walked into the room and was introduced. I was booed lustily. I made my way up to the stage, they booed some more. . . . So I said, 'Come on, you can do better than that,' and they did!"It is time for this to change, and it would help us all if the media were to finally begin reporting responsibly: Explaining the issues and their impact, not just on the next media cycle and the upcoming election, but on the financial futures of this country and the states which are a part of it. Reward those who make decisions made to last the next 50 years and not the next 6 months, not those with the more outrageous soundbite. The best aspect of the various campaigns by Governors such as Walker, Christie, Kasich (Ohio), and Daniels (Indiana) is that they're completely open and honest about what the issues are and what needs to get done - and yet that's not what people get to read or watch on the news. It's time media began to reward honesty.
He crumpled up his prepared remarks and threw them on the floor. He told them, "Here's the deal: I understand you're angry, and I understand you're frustrated, and I understand you feel deceived and betrayed." And, he said, they were right: "For 20 years, governors have come into this room and lied to you, promised you benefits that they had no way of paying for, making promises they knew they couldn't keep, and just hoping that they wouldn't be the man or women left holding the bag. I understand why you feel angry and betrayed and deceived by those people. Here's what I don't understand. Why are you booing the first guy who came in here and told you the truth?"
He told them there was no political advantage in being truthful: "The way we used to think about politics and, unfortunately, the way I fear they're thinking about politics still in Washington" involves "the old playbook [which] says, "lie, deceive, obfuscate and make it to the next election." He'd seen a study that said New Jersey's pensions may go bankrupt by 2020. A friend told him not to worry, he won't be governor then. "That's the way politics has been practiced in our country for too long. . . . "
Sunday, February 20, 2011
EZ Reads 2/20/11
- A cool rent-splitting calculator for all those who split uneven apartments.
- This was a really scary clip to watch; a reporter almost seems to have a stroke on air. Turns out it was actually a bad migraine.
- Where have all the good men gone? I don't find this to be the case in this sense in the Orthodox world, really, but there's a very similar type - those who seemingly have no real plans for the future.
- Quote of the weekend, received by a single guy who is saving up money for marriage, from a relative living an Israeli kollel lifestyle:
I don't see why you're saving while you're single; I think it shows a lack of bitachon.
(Worth noting: His rabbeim didn't quite seem to agree with that sentiment.)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Fresh
Or, perhaps more accurately, it's pulling off to the side of the road to get your bearings, and even though you might discover just how far off the path you've ended up thanks to some roadblocks that were placed in your way, at least you can figure out how to get where you want to go.
Either way, it's a great feeling.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Checkpoints
Friends of mine know I like to say "when you're sure, give it some more time. When you're sure again, give it some more time. And when you're sure again, give it a little more. When you're finally really sure again... then you should probably go for it."I feel like there are checkpoints, like in those racing games and it's really comfortable in between the checkpoints. you're just kinda in the zone. but the checkpoints are really hard to pass.
The best and surprisingly common description of dating seriously I've heard recently: You consistently swing from pure happiness to feeling like you need to throw up, and often both at the same time. (And the common response from those close to the person: "Great!!")
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Reason #579 to Hate NYC
A penny saved is two pennies earned....and it's not much better in most other places, either. (And likely to get worse under President Obama.)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Eating My Words
My good friend was trying to convince me to let her sister (and me) come to join her in her culinary school for an afternoon to try her food. I was trying to figure out the timing of when she'd be making the food she was referring to, and how much it would conflict with work, but it didn't come out quite right:
me: when is it...Yeah.M: class starts at 2me: until?M: class ends at 6me: and the whole class is about making food?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Quote of the Day: Priorities
Don't make people in your life a priority when they only make you an option.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Quote of the Day
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
EZ Reads, 7/15/09
Enjoy!
- Honestly Frum with an interesting rant to the Modern Orthodox world.
- Ariella at Kallah Magazine asks what you'd do different if you could redo your wedding.
- Gil writes about whether one is obligated to give charity to someone who does not work (and can). Conclusion: No.
- I enjoyed this list of classic insults from classic people. A couple fun examples:
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." – Winston Churchill- Fantastic piece by Mortimer Zuckerman on unemployment in today's Wall Street Journal. Basically, this is much worse than the numbers say, and we've just blown a trillion dollars.
- A really good piece on judges and umpires in the New York Times. Interesting and well-written.
- RafiG notes that new Cav Anthony Parker is wearing #18 to harken back to his positive times as part of Maccabi Tel Aviv. Cool.
- He also has a hilarious "Jewish Sports" video that is so classically Jewish. "Come on, let him move up 6 meters... his mother came so far to watch him... Why can't you do a little favor!? Everyone is against the Jews!"
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
EZ Reads 7/8/9: Insomnia
Enjoy!
- Baila has a wonderful story from Israel from a chance meeting in the supermarket.
- SD has an interesting story from driving her sister and friends to the airport for their trip to Israel. I'd love to analyze the sad/funny attitudes of the other girls when it comes to materialism and the Jewish community, but there's just too much fodder there. I don't know how SD survived such a trip.
It looked, surprisingly enough, like a phone. Friend2 turned it on, and MP and F1 squealed. "oooh! It says PRADA on the screen."- She also has an inspiring piece on how we view the world around us.
- A very cool piece about a CIA spy from 1973... and his effect on the Netanyahu administration of today.
- On The Main Line has a fantastic summary/review of R' Marc Angel's The Search Committee.
- A great quote on Harry-er than them all:
There was a Rebbe, who when the first time a train pulled into town, he went out with his Chassidim to see this novelty. He went to the train, and starting from the back, he touched each and every car till he came to the locomotive. Afterward, he turned to his Chassidim and said
"There could be twenty cold cars, but if there is one warm one in front, they can all travel the distance"
What have you done for Klal Yisrael today?- Another beautiful story, this time from Raizy, on how a 10-year old shows her love.
- Stella D'oro closing down?! Say it ain't so! (This is why unions are bad... and stupid.)
- Jewlicious has Matisyahu's One Day. While not a Matisyahu (or reggae) fan, this isn't bad.
Friday, June 26, 2009
EZ Reads 6/26/09
Sports is man's joke on God, Max. You see, God says to man, 'I've created a universe where it seems like everything matters, where you'll have to grapple with life and death and in the end you'll die anyway, and it won't really matter.' So man says to God, 'Oh, yeah? Within your universe we're going to create a sub-universe called sports, one that absolutely doesn't matter, and we'll follow everything that happens in it as if it were life and death.'" Sportswriter Sam KellermanSome good reads:
Finally, a great video via A Negative Benefit for all the Mac users... and those who like to make fun.
- Pazit notes that women should make money, not excuses.
- R' Fink of the PJC is disturbed, and rightfully so.
- An elementary graduation from a Berkeley school that professes "no -isms." Guess which -isms it seemed to portray?
- Meanwhile, 700 NYC teachers get paid to do nothing. Literally. (But government is efficient!)
- An interesting piece on camera views in baseball and their impact.
- The 10 most beloved Cleveland athletes.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Shidduch Quotes
In the modern orthodox world, a MAN or WOMAN is presented or viewed as an adult, with unique experiences, abilities and personalities. While all would acknowledge that losing a parent at a young age shapes a person–ultimately people are looking a the person who has been shaped. By analogy, often a person’s grandparents will have an influence on their life–but in the MO world no one really cares what shtetl in Lita or Ohio your grandparents came from; it is who YOU are now and what you, coupled with your personality and grace (or lack thereof).
In the charedi world BOYS and GIRLS are essentially variable fungible marriage units for marriage transactions. Yeshiva X, Bais Yakov Y; Flatbush Est 2?rd street; oldest youngest, Litvish, Galitzianer etc. Tall or short, oh and of some minor importance, rich or not rich. As people are setting up CHILDREN (in their mind) who have never accomplished anything of their own, all that matters is relative conformity to some ideal. Variation from the ideal is then weighed positively or negatively (balancing weight with wealth; measuring yichus against a sibling’s satorial choices). Families play a game where wining is defined by marrying better than you would have expected (by their crooked and warped sense) and losing is marrying down.
[I note incidentally that since in the charedi paradigm "children" can not acheive anything on their own of worth, any educational or communal success (becoming a JD/MD/organizing a tomchei shabbat) or entreprenurial success (demonstrating ability to open a business) demonstrated by a child is actually viewed as a negative as it is a mark of non-conformity. similarly merely being older that the norm is cause for a non-conforming demerit].
So my sister a was head of GO at BY X and best camper at charedi “no pockets allowed on skirts” de jour. She also happens to be beautiful. Nonetheless because she had a widowed mother she was viewed as substandard merchandise. Fortunately, she was able to marry a prospective 2nd generation kollel candidate given my Mother’s willingness to provide an appropriate remedial dowery. As for my late father’s reputation as a baal chesed and baal tzedakah, suffice it to say that those midos/ot were unfortunately canceled out by his gonig to work My other sisters were able to obtain appropriate husbands who had corresponding handicaps, perhaps a lame sibling or attendance at a second rate HS. As they are all happy I suppose the system worked.
In the MO world, people actually cared about MY adult educational acheivements and career and about my own spiritual acheivments in both Israeli yeshivot and YU.
In summary, if all that matters is a resume that needs a healthy dose of conformity — a death in the family will be a black mark. If what matters is the person themselves then a fat schlub will fail on his own merit.
That was where I first got puzzled. "You mean the shadchan was still involved on the seventh date?" I asked. And then I got the answer that reminded me of why I don't actively redt shidduchim anymore. The mom's voice was incredulous. "Of course the shadchan is still involved! You think that kids this young should just be left alone to have to make important decisions like this?! They need someone with experience guiding them. Es past nit that they should be the ones to ask the delicate questions or to put themselves into situations that could get awkward if they don't know what the right answer should be."
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Quite (and Quote) the Weekend
Oh, and: My brother and SIL had a baby boy on Shabbos (Mazel Tov!!!), Kayla's birthday was Friday, I got a job, and we had parties galore it seemed.
All in all, it was nice, exciting, exhausting, and nothing compared to what next week will probably be like in terms of hecticity. This is niece/nephew #17 for us (#8 on my side), and mother and baby are bH doing well. Ben, Hen, and Shen are super excited about their new baby brother!
And of course, there's never a dull moment, so here are some of the best quotes from another great Shabbos:
Serach: What's Daddy's favorite color?* Later, we got ice cream, although we did not have a hot chocolate ending.
Elianna: E!
Elianna (rambling about a story she's making up as she goes along) "...I made a cupcake."
SJ: What was in it?
Elianna: Vanilla... and ice cream... and blue!
Older gentleman on way home from shul, as we walked past heading toward a kiddush: {smiling} "Are you going in the right direction?"
Ezzie: {smiles} Yes, I am. Perhaps you are going in the wrong direction?
Older gentleman: No, I'm going in the right direction as well. Isn't it something that two people going in opposite directions can both still be headed in the right direction?
Ez - I just love that one.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Well Waddaya Know XXVIII
Who said the following? "Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind".This week's question is up to the right.
E.B. White 5 (29%) Robin Williams 5 (29%) Orson Welles 3 (17%) Stephen Colbert 4 (23%)
Votes so far: 17