On the Mortality of Seals

What is it that rends the seals, casts them corkscrewed ashore? The Scientists say it's some sort of propeller, but I will have no truck with that, with an answer so human and true. I would rather it were Skalugsuak, the sleeper shark, full fathom five with its wormridden eyes, centuries old and reeking of piss, biting bone-deep into the bias-cut blubber and nosing the corpses ashore. Or maybe the mermaids, holding their black-eyed lovers just a little too tight in their tooth-lined arms, their beaks fast in flesh as they spiral down to the ecstatic depths. Or is it me? Is that where I go at night, eeling through the abyss with my knife between my teeth? Is that why I wake up so salty and cold?

You Couldn't Make It Up

They have been finding chunks of a man all over the countryside. The torso, complete with one and a half arms, was discovered by a member of the public in a place called GORE LANE.

Job Centre

I read a story in the newspapers about a couple of malcontents who were befriending vulnerable and unstable people, talking their way into their victims' flats and setting up home, forcing the real tenants to move out and, in some cases, live rough. This would make either a good story or an excellent career choice.