TOTALLY BOARD

The EU proposal that all boards of directors must be composed of at least 40% women comes not a moment too soon.  For far too long, Britain's top companies have relied for their management almost entirely on men.  It is almost 2 years ago now that the UK Government decreed that companies should make more efforts to recruit women into their boardrooms.  Within a year, the percentage of women directors had increased in fact to about 15%; some companies had even achieved 25%.  By now, probably the proportion will be more like 17.5%.

Probably.  But it's still not 40%.  So it does appear that the only way to make sure women achieve their proper position in the workplace is to establish a quota.  A board shouldn't just take on men without looking properly at the balance of talents among its members and its demographic profile.  But do they do that?  Well, some of them clearly do.  But that's all.  Progress towards breaking the stranglehold that men have on boardrooms is lamentable slow.  So legislating that 4 out of 10 board members must be women is the way to overcome their reticence.  It will also put a stop to them complaining that they are far too busy to get involved in the world of big business - they will simply be compelled to play their 2/5ths part.

For as long as I can remember, I have heard nothing but female complaints about the way businesses are run. Well now, with this new EU equality law, they will jolly well have to get up off their bottoms, get out there into our boardrooms and pull their weight.

I can't mow the lawn; I've got all this washing to do or dinner's a bit late because I had to do the ironing today.  How often have we heard these lame excuses for not taking on a real job?  And, despite little tasks being used as a pretext to avoid proper work, there's still a long way to go before they add up to the professional expertise women will now be able to demonstrate in the boardroom.  Where's that blue sock I put out for washing a month ago for example?  And look at my pyjama bottoms, do you call these creases straight?  No.  And don't get me started on the dust on my CD shelves.  So, if managing simple labour-saving devices is not exactly women's expertise, a directorship will certainly allow them to spread their wings.  And about time!

You won't need ever again to moan that the housekeeping never quite seems to stretch to cover all the shopping, while men seem to have plenty of cash even to pop into the pub on the way home.  From now on, the wise men of Brussels have ensured that you will earn your own keep.  And no more putting down your mop and flopping into the settee mid-morning to enjoy a mug of cocoa; you are just going to have to pull up your socks (I see you have both of yours) and buckle down to some 9 to 5 labour.  Thanks to the equality-conscious men at the EU, you girls have no need anymore to complain that you are stuck at home all day while men go out and meet people and have lunch and enjoy dubious business trips with their secretaries - now you'll have to do it too. 

A LOAD OF POLLACKS

I don’t usually get caught up in campaigns.  I take the view (clearly the wrong one, if everyone thought he same) that my vote wouldn’t make that much difference.  But I wanted you all to see this.

Under EU quota arrangements, English fishermen are entitled to catch only a specified amount of fish (usually cod, tuna and salmon, because that’s what we mostly eat here).  If, when they check in at their home port, they are found to have exceeded that quota, they will be heavily fined.  But of course the fish are caught in a trawl net, so there is absolutely no way to control what fish go into it.  So, when the fishermen have sorted through the catch at sea and extracted all the ‘legal’ fish, the rest are thrown back into the water.  This is perfectly legal and meets the EU rules.  But it does mean that as much fish as is landed in UK legally, the same amount of perfectly edible, even desirable, fish is thrown back into the sea dead, because the law doesn’t allow them to bring it to shore.  Millions of tons worth, in other words, of food is destroyed, because of some potty Brussels legislation. 

We may only catch so much fish, so we are told to destroy the same amount.  I hope someone can see how this prevents overfishing, saves fish stocks, or helps sustainability .

If anyone feels like joining me and signing the petition to end this nonsense, please do so.