DUCKTALES Fanfic Review: "The Lost Tomb of Pharaoh Sedqaduck" by "Stretch Snodgrass"

And so, we trudge back into the DuckTales fanfic salt mines... or, should I say, the sand dunes!

 

Needless to say, adventure in desert settings are nothing new to our feathered Disney friends, either in print or on screens both small and large.  Carl Barks' first full-length solo adventure story took Donald and HD&L to a reasonably authentic Egypt, and, when Disney Movietoons decided to mount a DuckTales feature film, writer Alan Burnett spun the plot out of Scrooge's quest to find the lost treasure of Collie Baba.  There are, of course, numerous other examples of the "Ducks in Egypt" trope in both media.

I bring this up because our "writer of interest," one "Stretch Snodgrass," picked a surprisingly well-worn trail on which to follow his muse.  He's not trying to do anything Earth-shattering in "The Lost Tomb of Pharaoh Sedqaduck" -- just tell an entertaining comedy-adventure story in the classic DT tradition, complete with copious references to DT episodes past.  He succeeds rather well, particularly in the clever manner in which he stirs an unexpected guest-star character -- one who (1) had only one featured role in the TV series and (2) has rarely featured in adventures of any stripe -- into the mix.

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*MAJOR SPOILERS (duh)*

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THE STORY:  With "long-lost map" in hand, Scrooge travels to Egypt to seek out the titular cenotaph, the last resting place of Sedqaduck, the "unlucky" 13th Pharaoh of the 13th Dynasty, and his "greatest treasures."  His companions on the journey are HD&L, Launchpad, and... "Uncle" Gladstone??  (Yep, that's what the boys call him.  Personally, I take the idea of Gladstone being the Nephews' uncle as seriously as I do that of Daisy being the boys' aunt.)  Unsurprisingly, Gladstone isn't initially keen on the idea...after all, it sounds too much like work.  Scrooge ultimately convinces Gladstone to come along by challenging his ganderhood, or something close to it, and away they go.  Flintheart Glomgold and Bankjob and Big Time Beagle get wind of Scrooge's destination in "Master of the Djinni" fashion -- via a newspaper photograph that reveals the details of Scrooge's map ("When will Scroogie learn not to leave his map in plain sight?" cackles Flinty) -- but, after a half-hearted attempt at attacking Scrooge's party at an oasis literally blows up in their faces, the baddies (somewhat surprisingly) drop clean out of the story.  Instead, we simply follow Scrooge's party as they reach and explore the long-hidden, seriously eerie Valley of Pharaoh Sedqaduck.  But why has Gladstone's luck suddenly turned sour?  And why is Scrooge so heck-bent on convincing Gladstone that his luck isn't bad, all the while scotching any overt mention of "thirteen," "luck," and similar words freighted with intimations of good or bad fortune?...

PLOT:  Pretty doggone solid, with some effective suspense and scares, though some of the plotting could have been improved. (**** out of *****)

If you choose to read this story, don't be initially put off by "Stretch"'s staccato style, or the manner in which he tells the reader some fairly basic information about the characters (e.g., that Huey, Dewey, and Louie wear red, blue, and green).  Stick with it, and you'll be rewarded, especially once the gang starts the actual pyramid hunt.  This is more of a straightforward "there and back again" storyline than the plots seen in "Master of the Djinni" or even DuckTales: The Movie.  It has some longueurs, but "Stretch" keeps up some good, in-character banter between the Ducks, though his funniest material is unintentionally so (see WRITING AND HUMOR below).

As is the case in so many Barks adventures, Scrooge doesn't actually wind up carting home the complete treasure.  In place of it, he gets what are for all intents and purposes "parting gifts," courtesy of the ghost of the departed Pharaoh.  Considering that these items are designed more to educate the world about the cloudy history of Sedqaduck's unfortunate reign than they are to enrich someone, Scrooge accepts them with considerable grace... which is more than one can say about, for example, his petulant reaction to "love, the greatest treasure of them all" in "A DuckTales Valentine."  True to his nature, though, he does find a way to profit in the end.

For a story rated the fanfiction.net equivalent of "E for Everyone," there is some seriously creepy material here.  The discovery of a group of skeletons from an unsuccessful expedition by medieval Arabs to plunder the valley comes as a considerable jolt.  The shock would have been more severe had the corpses been found by the Pharaoh's tomb, as they by all rights should have been, given that Scrooge interprets the map as saying that "the curse of death falls only upon those who violate the Pharaoh's final resting place."  Since the skeletons were found a good distance away from the pyramid, I sense a disturbance in the plot structure here, though it's not quite bad enough to raise the dead.

In addition to harboring dead would-be looters, the Valley of Sedqaduck is also noiseless.  Various fauna are present, but they don't make a sound.  Scrooge hand-waves away the Ducks' ability to make themselves heard by suggesting that outsiders who enter the Valley aren't affected, while Dewey appeals to "an ancient Egyptian magic spell."  Dewey's dodge works for me, especially in a world that contains Magica De Spell.

The creepiest detail of all, however, is the simple fact that Pharaoh Sedqaduck and his entire royal retinue are still present in spirit form, tending to the evergreen gardens and keeping the buildings in perfect condition.  The "curse" on anyone entering Sedqaduck's tomb is supposed to last for 13,000 years, or until the world ends (nice escape clause, that).  Presumably, therefore, the ghosts will continue to perform their janitorial services until that time.  But what happens then?  Will Sedqaduck and his people consider that to be "game over" and vanish, leaving the Valley to succumb to the elements?  That seems like an unhappy ending (for them) to me.  Or will the fact that Scrooge has peacefully brought the truth about "unlucky" Sedqaduck's reign to the outside world give the spirits a reason to rise to the heavens, in the manner of "The Garbled One" and Khufu in "Sphinx for the Memories"?

Unfortunately, "Stretch" seems to have forgotten to edit an early detail about the lost tomb's location.  Scrooge originally gleans from the map that the tomb is "inside a mountain," whereas the actual pyramid is in a valley surrounded by cliffs and "mountainous" sand dunes.  We could attribute this goof to Scrooge's misreading of the map, but, when your fact-checkers have the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook at hand, I doubt that any such slip would have slipped by.

The final scene has something of a Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea "coffee scene" ((c) Joe Torcivia) vibe, in that we find the Ducks back in Duckburg and discussing their adventure over a meal at Quack Maison. (Remember?  That was the place where Gladstone and Scrooge went to eat breakfast in "Dime Enough for Luck" and that unfortunate "clerical error" concerning the restaurant's "millionth customer" took place).  It's decent, but also something of a letdown, given that the Ducks had already had dinner at the place earlier in the story, at the time when Scrooge finally convinced Gladstone to join the adventure.  I appreciate "Stretch"'s willingness to exploit Gladstone's one DT appearance to the hilt, but bringing the Ducks back to QM might have been going a dish too far.

Perhaps the most puzzling aspect of the plot is the quick dismissal of the villains.  In truth, they don't actually get to do much of interest. However, there is a most intriguing moment when Bankjob, remembering how Scrooge saved him, Babyface, and Bugle/Bebop from the pirates in "Time Teasers," suggests that the baddies ask Scrooge for assistance in getting back to civilization.  Glomgold is having none of that, preferring a long, hot, and problematic desert trek to lowering himself to ask Scrooge for aid.  Had the bad guys actually joined Scrooge's party, the conflict between Flinty's pride and greed might have made for an interesting subplot. (Admittedly, it might also have interfered with the subplot that was already present, which I'll discuss under CHARACTERIZATION).  Instead, "Stretch" dismisses the villains with a couple of paragraphs of narrative.  I suppose that "Stretch" felt that the adventure simply "had" to include an appearance by familiar villains in order to seem "authentic."  There are plenty of examples to the contrary, though, and, all in all, I think that "Stretch" should have let the Ducks handle this one by themselves, with no opponents save the elements... and the internal conflicts.

CHARACTERIZATION:  Pretty solid, as well, with the only possible question being how we are expected to regard Scrooge's behavior towards Gladstone.  (**** out of *****)

"Stretch" does a pretty decent job with most of the basics here. The Nephews may consult the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook a few too many times -- I'm sure that their native intelligence could have helped them to figure out that pyramids were never used as homes, and that water, however brackish or distasteful, is essential for life to flourish in the desert -- but they make up for it late in the game by doping out Scrooge's scheme re Gladstone (about which more in a moment) all by their lonesomes.  Launchpad is Launchpad, 'nuff said, while Gladstone, appropriately enough, is given his slightly softer, more laid-back DuckTales persona, as opposed to the more obnoxious characterization introduced by Barks.  On the unlikability scale, whining a bit about tramping through the desert and making a couple of self-satisfied remarks about his luck seeing him through don't really amount to much.  "Stretch" even provides Gladstone with a new (and atypical) vulnerable spot, in that the gander takes umbrage at Scrooge's questioning of his bravery on more than one occasion.  Scrooge hasn't been concerned (at least openly) about others' cojones since "Christmas on Bear Mountain."  But Gladstone's determination to prove Scrooge wrong reflects another side of his overweening pride... one that is less smug and more proactive.

The big character-related question arising from this epic is how, exactly, we are expected to react to Scrooge's subterranean decision to bring Gladstone along as a kind of "anti-bad-fortune fail-safe" to sense the "curse" that is supposed to lie on Sedqaduck's tomb -- and, more significantly, his determination to keep his reasoning under wraps until after the fact.  Scrooge figures that, if there really is such a "curse," then Gladstone's luck will sense it and try to keep him and the other Ducks safe by any means necessary... including bouts of bad luck.  Gladstone's increasing gaffe-proneness as the Ducks close in on their goal, and the result of the final advance towards the tomb, tend to bear out Scrooge's theory.  But can this honestly be said to be "square dealing" by Scrooge, even though his intention was an honorable one?

Complicating our interpretation of Scrooge's behavior is a scene that occurs as the Ducks prepare to go into the Valley.  A panicky Gladstone is (understandably) worried that another "Dime Enough for Luck" scenario may be playing itself out, but Scrooge bluntly dismisses his concerns and gives Gladstone his personal promise that the gander's luck hasn't really turned bad.  The narrative presents this as an example of Scrooge's commitment to straight dealing with others, which, given the underlying subterfuge that the old miser is practicing, doesn't quite ring true.  Gladstone makes the point that Scrooge, who "[denies luck] even exists" (I guess the Old #1 Dime is just a cherished memento in this version of DT continuity?), couldn't be expected to understand how luck works.  Scrooge is obliged to rely upon sheer force of will to convince Gladstone to believe that Scrooge is telling the truth.  Our... uh, hero, ladies and gentlemen?  The jury may have a hard time reaching a verdict on that one.

Personally, I think that it would have made far more sense for "Stretch" to have had Scrooge tell Gladstone the truth up front, using logic to convince the gander that he will be in no danger precisely because Gladstone's luck will protect him by going bad at the appointed time.  That would have made for an interesting psychological conflict for Gladstone, who is so used to being benefited by his luck that he might find it hard to wrap his mind around the concept of bad luck doing him some good.  Using that subplot in place of the "Scrooge rather clumsily conceals the truth for everyduck's own good" would have been much trickier for "Stretch" to do, but it would have avoided the somewhat awkward characterization of Scrooge that the "subterfuge" angle forced the author to use.

A coda regarding Pharaoh Sedqaduck himself: The dead ruler's appearance in ghost-guise is brief but memorable.  During the adventure, we learn that the "unlucky" ruler was not a bungler so much as a ruler who had the misfortune of facing a large number of enemies without the resources to keep them at bay. Sedqaduck shows that his troubles have not robbed him of a certain sense of humor when he disses Launchpad for having complained earlier that Sedqaduck's museum of artifacts was "dull."  The greatest ruler of ancient times he wasn't, but he certainly doesn't come off as a dope on the order of Barks' spendthrift King Nutmost the Rash ("A Cobbler Should Stick to His Last," UNCLE $CROOGE #25, March 1959).

HOMEWORK:  Done to a turn.  (***** out of *****)

From the opening gong, references fly thick and fast -- and they're far from being the standard references to previous desert adventures that you might expect.  The aforementioned references to Scrooge's map-mistake in "Master of the Djinni" and Bankjob's remembrance of Scrooge's generosity in "Time Teasers" certainly got MY attention, and some other clever ones are worthy of special mention.

(1) Gladstone refers to the Ducks' near-death experience in "Too Much of a Gold Thing" as an example of how dangerous adventuring can be.  Makes you wonder: how widely did news of the Ducks' travails in the Valley of the Golden Suns actually spread?  One can understand Scrooge wanting to keep the Valley's fate a secret from the general public, just in case some crazies decided to imitiate El Capitan and dig endlessly (and futilely) for riches in the ruins.  Any acquaintances whom Scrooge trusted with the info were undoubtedly sworn to some form of secrecy... and it's therefore surprising that Scrooge didn't shush Gladstone (or even whack him with his cane) when Gladstone mentioned the adventure at the Ducks' table at Quack Maison.

(2) Glomgold reacts to Bankjob and Big Time's bomb-bungling by grumbling, "Now I know why you two never work together!" -- which, in fact, they never actually had before, unless you count that mob-scene in "Full Metal Duck" (which was itself a skull session, as opposed to an actual gig) and set aside the comic-book story "The Great Chase" (preferably, at a VERY great distance).  Given that Bankjob and Big Time are actually among the more competent of the DT Beagles, their treatment here seems a bit uncharitable of "Stretch."

(3) To while away the time during a long flight, Launchpad tells Gladstone tall tales of his exploits, among which is his "harrowing hiatus with the Harpies" ("The Golden Fleecing").  Evidently, to Launchpad, any adventure you can walk away from is a tale-worthy one, even if one's role in it is somewhat, well, embarrassing.  Speaking of which, Launchpad invokes the "Any crash you can..." mantra a couple of times here.

You do have to respect a writer who treats canonical series material in such ingenious and imaginative ways.

WRITING AND HUMOR:  Acceptable at best, and most of the humor is of the accidental variety.  (*** out of *****)

From the spellings of certain words such as "tonnes" for "tons," to the use of the phrase "the lot of them," to Scrooge's reminiscence about picnicking in a country "kirkyard," I gather that "Stretch" is probably a native of the British Isles.  "Stretch"'s writing gets the job done, but it does fall victim to the occasional dropped comma and misspelling.

One must give kudos to "Stretch" for having the daring to try to reproduce the Ducks' "synchronized snoring" in prose.  It results in an unintentionally humorous bit:

"Huh," snored Scrooge.

"Shhhh[,]" continued Huey.

"Quack, quack," slept Dewey and Louie respectively.

That last sentence reads as if "Stretch" is using "to sleep" as a verb capable of taking a direct object.  What would such objects be, I wonder?

I also found the following throwaway paragraph amusing.  Read this, and see if you don't get a distinct impression of Launchpad being pwned:

Scrooge divided the adults into three watches: Gladstone first, as he liked to stay up late; Scrooge last, as he usually woke up early, as "the early bird catches the worm"; Launchpad received the difficult midnight and early morning hours, because it was the only one that was left. 

QUESTIONABLE MATERIAL:  None, aside from the aforementioned scares and ghosts (which aren't actually all THAT scary).

OVERALL:  ***** out of *****.   N&V RECOMMENDED.

While not spectacular by any means, "The Lost Tomb of Pharaoh Sedqaduck" is a fun read and displays commendable effort.  If you like classic "lost-ruby jungle plunges" with a couple of intriguing (though somewhat problematic) twists, then you should enjoy this story.

NEXT FANFIC UP:  "The Sincere Fraud" by "Commander."  In the not-to-distant DT future, the Nephews' mother Della returns... after a long stay in jail.  I got a BAD feeling about this, Mr. McDee...

The "DuckTales" Theme Song... As You've NEVER Seen It Before!

Yes, me lads and lassies, this is a real thing.  Thanks to Mark Arnold for directing my attention to it.

DUCKTALES RETROSPECTIVE: Episode 100, "The Golden Goose, Part 2"

All good things, etc. and so on... And what better way to close the book on DuckTales: The Series than with a "battle to save the planet" that doesn't involve invading aliens or sketchy science?

If we attend to GeoX's suggestion about the title, then that really should read "The Golden Goose Part I, Part 2."  Under the extra-special circs, I'm willing to let that slide.

"The Golden Goose" was, of course, one of two two-part stories that closed out "Golden Age" WDTVA series, the other being Gummi Bears' "King Igthorn."  It's worth pausing for a moment to compare the approaches taken by these two productions and to consider how -- in my opinion, at least -- "Goose" managed to do right what "King" did wrong.  Now, there's no denying that "King"'s narrative had the massive sweep that Gummis fans had been expecting ever since the Great Gummis' potential return, the city of Ursalia, and the Barbic Bears had been introduced as side elements of the series.  We got payoffs on just about everything (though the still-unseen Great Gummis' vague final promise to return "soon" did disappoint some folks), and virtually every major character of the series got something to do during the course of the 45 minutes.  And that was the problem.  "King" was so ambitious that a good deal of the dialogue was of the "directional" type that you might have heard in an old-time movie serial ("we're going to go with X and rescue Y while you do Z"), and such dramatic moments as the destruction of Gummi Glen by the wood-eating bug Big Tooth, the villains' acquisition of massive quantities of Gummiberry Juice, and Duke Igthorn's long-awaited takeover of Dunwyn Castle whizzed by too quickly to have the walloping impact that they should have. "King" was still an enjoyable ride, but, despite the praiseworthy ambition of the undertaking, a "Peggy Lee" sort of feeling ("Is that all there is?") nonetheless lingered in its wake.

At first glance, "The Golden Goose" seems to suffer from a problem diametrically opposite to that of "King Igthorn" -- not "Is that all there is?" so much as "Is there any THERE there?".  A year before Darkwing Duck's debut, the strangely depopulated Duckburg of "Goose" seems more like the bare-streeted St. Canard during a battle between DW and one of his supervillain foes.  There's no sign of Bubba Duck, Fenton Crackshell, or Gizmoduck.  The minimalist approach seems completely at odds with the apocalyptic vision of the narrative, leaching away a great deal of the "epic scope" that we would normally hope to see in such a tale.  And yet, I would argue that the scantily-furnished stage is actually appropriate here, given that the script chooses to focus on characters' inner turmoil just as much as it does their external challenges.  The decision to strip down to the basics makes the characters' feelings and decisions -- Scrooge's concern for his Nephews, Scrooge's choice to put the fate of the world ahead of any personal considerations, Dijon's fall and subsequent redemption -- seem to carry all the more weight.  Not that there isn't a healthy helping of action, humor, and suspense in this concluding chapter, but we're more inclined to remember the moral dilemmas (there's that phrase again...) and, in Scrooge's case, the satisfying conclusion of a character journey that began with a cranky old Duck swiping cheese samples and ends with a similarly old, but wiser, Duck demonstrating that he has thoroughly internalized all of those proclamations about the value of family and has gained sufficient largeness of soul to extend his vision of "family" to the worldwide community.  There are a few annoying logical hiccups in the story as a whole, but they are not enough to overcome the overflowing feeling of "Heart" that makes "Goose" a classic, almost in spite of itself.

After Frank Welker provides an appropriately non-fruity, on-point summation of the events of Part 1, we cut to the discovery of the statuefied HD&L.  While the reactions of Webby, Duckworth, and Mrs. Beakley are pretty much what we might have expected of them -- actually, Webby manages to keep her cool a bit better than did her gramma, which is pretty remarkable -- Scrooge's is both dramatic and symbolically significant.  He immediately blames his own "greed for gold" for the boys' fate, even though he is clearly not responsible for what has happened to them.  His quick assumption of liability is even more impressive than his shaking-off of the "Gold Fever" in "Too Much of a Gold Thing."  In that case, it took the intervention of Mrs. Beakley reminding him of "what's important" to jolt him out of his obsession.  Here, Scrooge makes the pivot all by himself, with no hesitation whatsoever.  The solution to Moral Dilemma Number 2 (as I described it in my review of Part 1) is already clear: no matter what happens in the future, Scrooge will unquestionably put the welfare of his Nephews ahead of any potential monetary gain.  Incidentally, I think that this lends some credence to my earlier speculation that Scrooge might have been able to maintain some "control" and use the Golden Goose in a more rational and responsible manner after a night of (literally) sleeping on the matter.  When Flintheart Glomgold and the Beagle Boys have their chances to use and/or take control of the Goose, they will demonstrate no such restraint.

In order to set up the remainder of the ep, we're going to have to get an info dump at some point, and Poupon provides one as soon as he arrives at the Mansion, with Dijon in reluctant tow.  Poupon's explanation of the Goose's transformative powers and the possible fate of the world lasts for about one minute and 45 seconds, which wouldn't bother me so much, except for the occasional shots of a frozen Mrs. Beakley and Duckworth staring off into space like goons as he does so.  They should care about the fate of HD&L, too, so this was extremely bad form by Wang Films.  Thankfully, the scene is redeemed by Poupon's dramatic description of the effects of "The Golden Death" ("And all life will be ending... for little golden Ducks... for everyone!") and, of course, Scrooge's decision to let Poupon have the vial of "mystical water" to neutralize the Goose and save the world, as opposed to using it on HD&L right then and there.  Moral Dilemma Number 3 is thereby resolved with crystal clarity, and our opinion of Scrooge as a moral being can't help but be improved as a result.  It's essentially the DT version of Scrooge's dramatic decision to help the outer-space aborigines in Carl Barks' "Island in the Sky," but with considerably more global import involved.

Evidently on something of a roll, Scrooge resorts to some ingenious reverse psychology to keep Webby out of harm's way.  Far from another example of the DT writers showing contempt for Webby -- much less an example of what GeoX called "sub-TOM SAWYER horseshit" -- this exchange shows how much respect Scrooge has gained for Webby's maturity level.  His approach is based on the belief that Webby is responsible enough to willingly take on the task of keeping HD&L safe from further harm (and thereby be protected from harm herself), provided that the offer is tendered in the proper manner.  Scrooge evidently knows enough about the wee lassie to gauge that she isn't likely to resort to, you know, "Plan B" (except under atypical circumstances, such as kidnapping).

The balance of Act One is taken up with some wacky slapstick doings at Glomgold's "abandoned" auto factory.  You'll understand the quote marks when you take a very close look at the upper portion of the following screenshot...

... and, true to this somewhat dubious beginning, the rest of the sequence can fairly be said to be Part 2's weak point.  Granted, there are some decent moments, such as Launchpad's last (real) crash (for a while, anyway)...

... and Dijon's complete cock-up of Moral Dilemma Number 4, in which he opts to indulge his petty kleptomania rather than "dogface up" and deliver the Goose to his brother.  Based on this incident, I guess that we DO have to regard "Attack of the Metal Mites" as canon.  How would Glomgold have known about Dijon's propensity to steal unless Flinty had had some kind of dealings with him in the past?

In between these high points, however, comes... wait for it... yet ANOTHER conveyor-belt sequence.  Sigh.  A little bit of originality, especially in a climactic adventure like this, doesn't seem like too much to ask, does it?  As to how the machinery in this supposedly "abandoned" factory suddenly can operate like (extremely snarky) clockwork...well, to borrow a line of Scrooge's in the DuckTales Remastered video game, "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"G. who gets slapped"?

The conclusion of Act One, with Glomgold advancing on the captured heroes while holding out the Goose, quickly brings the goofiness to a halt and warns the viewer that some serious stuff is about to go down.  And so it does, as the Goose begins its sequence of transformations, first taking on a life of its own and turning on those who would manipulate it.  The climax of these attacks is chilling in its stark simplicity, with the cornered, cringing Glomgold meeting his fate (which will, of course, implicitly be reversed once "The Golden Death" is overcome, but it's what we SEE that is remembered) and the Goose then flying away, emitting only a few lonely caws.  Leave it to Wang to then muddy the moment a bit by having Poupon speak what is clearly Dijon's line, "Poor Mr. Gloomduck!"  (There's no question that this was a goof, as the voice is definitely that of Richard Libertini, the voice of Dijon.)

Now that the Goose is sentient, I should point out that the creature, far from being some sort of mechanical MacGuffin, is very much of a personality in its own right.  A cranky, somewhat obnoxious personality, but a personality nonetheless.  Such small touches as the Goose charging or lunging madly at various characters, reacting quizzically to Scrooge's use of a goose call in the park, and, later, trying to dope out Dijon's intentions inside the roadside bush, go well beyond what one might have expected here.

Poupon, aggrieved by Dijon's failure at the factory, dismisses Moral Dilemma Number 5 in a heartbeat, brushing aside any notion of forgiveness and angrily demanding that Dijon leave his sight forevermore.  Harsh, to be sure, but not entirely unjustified, given that keeping the world safe from "The Golden Death" is the Brotherhood of the Goose's first and foremost function.  (In Part 1, Poupon mentioned that the Brotherhood also acts "in service to others," but we never do get any details as to what that might entail.  As long as "service" doesn't involve serving the Goose "with gravy and stuffing," as Burger might suggest, I'm OK with the vagueness.)

Following that extremely strange detour to Launchpad's hangar -- surely, they could have pursued the Goose into downtown Duckburg while looking out for a place to get nets at the same time? And why are they watching TV at a time like this, since Scrooge has already pointed out where the Goose was heading? -- Scrooge, LP, and Poupon chase their elusive quarry through an all-but-desolate city setting, winding up at the park.  The slapstick gags here are decidedly muted, an appropriate approach in light of the fact that the crisis is getting graver.  The Beagle Boys' destruction of the water vial is the perfect capper, demonstrating that the Beagles, like Glomgold, are enmeshed in the tendrils of greed, completely heedless of the potential consequences.  Poupon doesn't cover himself in glory in this scene, either; his unnecessary description of what the water will do to the Goose gives the Beagles enough time to stop him before he can actually pour the water.  You already covered this subject back at the Mansion, Poupon; time to be "up 'n doon" instead.

And then... (it is still spine-tingling, no matter how hard-bitten you have become in the quarter-century since then...)

Of course, "The Golden Death" disseminates itself around the world with an exquisite sense of dramatic timing.  It starts off at a crawl, quickly picks up steam, is moving at a sufficiently fast clip to keep up with Launchpad's Joyrider as the latter flies across the ocean, can visibly be seen moving across the globe in the long shot from space, buzzes through Barkladesh like a house afire, and then slows down right before it reaches the door to the temple's fountain room, just long enough to allow Scrooge to save the day.  A very accommodating sort of apocalypse, I must say.  Despite the inconsistency, the mere fact that the "Death" is progressing through what appears to be a completely lifeless landscape makes a signature moment like the loss of Poupon seem all the more compelling and meaningful.  It's like the opposite of a zombie movie or TV show, in that there are very few characters here as opposed to hordes of shambling dead-walkers, but the end results of the two approaches are the same -- they help us to invest all the more in the characters on the side of good.

The rest of Scrooge's family, of course, is caught up in the golden wave along the way.  I like to think of the episode's occasional cutbacks to the Mansion -- and to Gyro's futile efforts to turn the boys back to normal -- as a subtle comment on the vanity of human endeavors in the face of overpowering forces beyond human understanding.  Or, perhaps, it's simply a reflection of the fact that Gyro Gearloose is having an EXTREMELY bad day.  An unfortunate circumstance, given that this is the character's last animated appearance, but it's not as if Gyro hasn't already experienced more than his share of failures during the course of the series.

Thankfully, the forsaken Dijon passes Moral Dilemma Number 6 with flying colors when he decides that he owes it to his brother to return the captured Goose.  As GeoX notes, it is kind of unlikely that Dijon would instantly, and correctly, recognize this generic-looking white goose as THE Goose, and we never do find out when and where Dijon managed to swipe Scrooge's cane, but... poetic license.  I can live with it.  (It would be nice to think that Dijon recognized the Goose's personality, based on what he had seen of it at the factory.  That would have been a worthy justification of the decision to depict the Goose as more than just an anonymous mayhem-maker.)

The climax cannot honestly be faulted.  Oh, it can be flyspecked, since (1) Launchpad magically has enough gas in his Joyrider to fly across a good portion of the Earth's surface without stopping to refuel, and (2) despite LP's claim and Scrooge's subsequent order to crash, there does seem to be enough of a flat surface on the temple mount for LP to make a normal landing.  But you definitely can't say that the episode doesn't drag all of us through a very rough knothole before salvation arrives.

The Mansion wrap-up scene is a bit truncated, but we do get to see all of our principals (save Gyro, for some reason) alive and happy again.  Best of all, we get the concluding hug between Scrooge and HD&L, which it would have been a positive crime to have omitted.  Regarding the rehashing of the ending of DuckTales: The Movie, I didn't have any issue with it back in 1990, but I have to admit that I'm somewhat less enamored of it now.  We know that Dijon, thanks to his decision to return the Goose, now possesses a sense of responsibility and "connectedness" to others that he never had before and, needless to say, did not have at the conclusion of DT:TM.  Why compromise that moral advance for the sake of a cheap gag?  This is one area in which I think "King Igthorn" has the advantage over "The Golden Goose."  The ending of "King" may have fallen short of satisfying the wishes of viewers for all of the loose ends of the series to be completely knotted, but it did possess a certain appropriateness that a fadeout chase does not deliver.  Even rerunning the ending of "Once Upon a Dime" and setting the final scene in the Money Bin would have been better than this.

I can't rank "The Golden Goose" with the very best episodes of DuckTales' first season.  The stripped-down approach may make sense in this context, but it pales in comparison to the richness on display in "Treasure of the Golden Suns" and such half-hours as "Raiders of the Lost Harp" and "The Uncrashable Hindentanic."  One might compare it to "Hero for Hire," which used a not-entirely-dissimilar straightforward approach to make some fairly profound points about Launchpad's character, but you then come up against the undeniable fact that the animation of "Goose" simply doesn't measure up to that of "Hire."  I think that it is fair to say, though, that "Goose" ranks as the second-best of DT's multi-part story lines, carrying more emotional punch than "Catch as Cash Can," avoiding the "falling-off" and "too much slapstick" issues that affected "Super DuckTales," and... well, let's leave "Time in Money" to rest in pieces, shall we?  A solid enough adventure, with equally solid character development -- and, oh, yes, that bit about saving the world... that's a thoroughly respectable way in which to draw the curtain on the series.

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I can't recall who drew this family portrait, but it's a nice one!

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"DuckBlurbs"

(GeoX) As I said about gold…Scrooge is trapped in this gold sack, but then it cracks open like an egg when it's struck with a gold statuette. I just do not think gold works remotely in that fashion…
("Christopher") The Golden Goose doesn't seem to change the thickness of substances, so if the bedsheet-turned into a sack was turned, it probably was like a few thickness[es] of aluminum foil- too tough for Scrooge to punch through, but easily punctured and then ripped apart once the thick, solid gold statue hit it. I'd need to watch the episode in slow-motion, but I don't think it cracked so much as tore. 

I'll accept Christopher's argument on this issue.  BTW, Geo... note that yet another statue of Scrooge makes its appearance.  Perhaps Scrooge has a higher self-regard than even we realize? 

(GeoX) In spite of the decidedly inconsistent nature of the show, I feel vaguely bereft. 

You can only imagine how I feel.

("Christopher")   Anyway, most of the episodes are all about locating a lost treasure or learning just how important family and friends are in a way that is so heartwarming you want to throw up. Most of the time, Scrooge is just adding more cash to the money bin. Now, he's SAVING THE ENTIRE WORLD. Rag on multi-quadrillionaires all you want, but all of the living creatures on earth owe Scrooge (and Launchpad, Dijon, and Poupon) their lives. This is the biggest thing they've ever done, and notice that Scrooge is [so] happy that HDL can move that he never thinks of using the fact that he's a savior of the world as [a] way to get the upper hand on business deals.

Exactly, exactly, exactly.  Give that man a cheroot.

(Greg) Interesting Moment #1: We get the preview of the episode from part one...IN A TWO PARTER! Something TaleSpin and Darkwing Duck never got in their two parters. I believe the narrator for this is Frank Welker [Ed. - yes] since he sounds like Poupon without the accent. Anyhow; at the end of the preview; it's clear there is a Toon Disney edit because when Big Time is about to touch the nephews, he yells gold, then the screen freezes and the scene quickly cuts to the STOCK FOOTAGE OF DOOM. Whoever thought it was a good idea to cut out the nephews turning to gold is on something and they should CUT THE F'N DOSE! Even more so when the scene was completely UNCUT the day before on TOON DISNEY no less. Idiots!

This was clearly a very conscious decision to maintain a bit of suspense for those viewers who might not have seen the transformation because they hadn't seen Part 1. Which makes little sense, actually, because the narration had already TOLD us about "the Golden Goose's golden touch," and the flashback ended with Big Time about to touch Louie on the head.  Simply showing the transformation at the end of the flashback might, in fact, have been the smarter choice here.  (BTW, I don't believe that there was any cut here.)

(Greg) So we cut back to the golden mansion and head to the office as Gyro is running tests on the golden statues of the nephews. Sadly; the numbers do not look good for the nephews as the computer laser doesn't work. G[yr]o checks the printer paper coming out of the printer and speaks some of the most absurd science talk ever that no scientist would be caught dead saying.

Based on the appearance of Gyro's... machine... thingy, it appears that Helper/Little Bulb, or at least part of him, managed to wangle a cameo of sorts.

Psst, Duckworth, Mrs. B... Over here!  Over here!!

(Greg) [The conveyor-belt sequence] IS the Satanic version of How It's Made. AHHAHAHAHAHA!

Except that we START in an "abandoned" factory in this case.  In How It's Made, they typically display the item of interest IN a desolate warehouse, junk-filled basement, weed-strewn back lot, etc. before cutting to the real factory where the manufacturing process takes place.

(Greg) [Dijon] peeps under the bushes and ponders over if he should touch the goose because if he touches wrong he turns to gold. However; he at least must redeem himself even if his brother doesn't want any part of him again thus showing that Dijon is not really a heel; but a misguided soul.

I think that this sums Dijon up pretty well.

Next: Some final thoughts, and a look ahead.