Sending the "Clones" Back In

Former WTFB colleague Richard Smyers, whose Kim Possible fanfics I've reviewed on several occasions, has just uploaded his first WTFB effort, the (slightly updated) 1994 Darkwing Duck fic "Cloning Around," to fanfiction.net.  It features the Terror Who Flaps et cie. in combat with Quackerjack.  Though modest in comparison with many of the multi-part fics that Smyers would pen in future years, it's a lot of fun and an exemplar of just how high a level of quality WTFB's literary lights maintained during the APA's glory years of the mid-to-late 90s and early "aught"s.  Give Richard enough pageviews and reviews, and he might just threaten to post MORE of his old WTFB stuff.

The GUIDE Makes Me Perplexed

Five cogent comments on TV GUIDE's recently published list of "the 60 greatest cartoons of all time":

(1)  What, precisely, qualifies as a "TV cartoon"?  TVG doesn't seem to know.  Putting rebroadcasts of classic theatrical cartoons on the same "level" as made-for-TV series makes no sense, unless you're talking about things like the early-60s Popeye cartoons or The Bugs Bunny Show.

(2)  NO Disney Afternoon series???  Well, Disney has no one to blame but itself for that sad fact, given how little respect its video and PR divisions have shown for the marvelous products of the "WDTVA Golden Age."  I'm not going to grouse about the presence of Kim Possible on the list, but it's hard to countenance Phineas and Ferb making the cut but such series as DuckTales, TaleSpin, Darkwing Duck, and Gargoyles being left out.

(3)  There isn't quite as much "presentism" apparent in this list as I'd originally feared.  Sure, there's a clear overrepresentation of 21st-century series, but the inclusion of Huckleberry Hound, Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, and several other "old-screen" Hanna-Barbera favorites -- not to mention the evergreen Rocky and Bullwinkle -- should be at least somewhat gratifying to those of us of a certain age (including those who, like me, watched these shows in syndication).  Listing Scooby-Doo at #5 may be pushing things, however.

(4)  I'm a bit surprised at the lack of anime series on the list.  Not that I was seriously expecting Astro Boy or Kimba the White Lion to make the cut, but no Speed Racer?  No Pokemon?  No Sailor Moon?  The latter two omissions are particularly noteworthy -- and chilling.  I have in my mind's eye visions of San Diego Cons of 15 to 20 years ago, at which Poke-players and cosplaying "Moonies" were such a massive presence.  (Then again, people selling and collecting Pogs were also easily found at that time.)  Bronies are currently all kinds of excited over My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic's appearance on the list.  Let us hope that history does not repeat itself.

(5)  Jem and the Holograms... Thundercats...  He-Man.  The rest is silence.

A Rare Gem

* SPOILERS COMING *

Thanks to the (increasingly-taken-for-granted) wonders of YouTube and iTunes, I've now watched all 65 of the existing episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  Some general thoughts about the series immediately come to mind:

1.  The series does an amazing job of making familiar plots seem fresh and newly enjoyable.  This speaks well of the quality of the writers, artists, and voice actors working on the series, but I do wish that the show would take more chances from a thematic standpoint, and that the creators would have the courage to follow their own instincts more consistently.  A number of the "innovations" (e.g., the two-part "epic adventure" "The Crystal Empire" that opened season three) were pretty clearly driven by the demands of the fan base that the show be given more gravitas, and you can often tell when the creators' hearts are (or aren't) in "on-demand" eps like these.

2.  The fans probably have some right to be concerned about the direction of the series following the "promotion" of Twilight Sparkle to the role of a winged alicorn princess in "Magical Mystery Cure," the most recent new episode.  This isn't so much because of the promotion itself as it is because the changeover was effected in such a ham-hooved fashion -- a 22-minute episode with seven, count 'em, SEVEN songs and barely enough time to develop a convincing rationale for Twilight's new gig.  Between "Cure" and the direct-to-video movie Equestria Girls, which saw the "Mane 6" ponies whisked off to the human world and transformed into human teenagers (aka "AAAAGHHH! HIDEOUS HOOFLESS MUTANTS!!") who just happen to be "but simply perfect" as subjects for a new toy line, the big worry is that Hasbro has begun to supersede the creative types in terms of decision-making.  Given that the toy company has generally allowed the IDW comic-book line to go its own way, I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt for the moment.  The first few eps of season four (which debuts in late November) will tell the more accurate tale.

Will this end well?

3.  Bronies and Pegasisters (the latter being the belatedly-canonized name for female MLP:FIM fans) love to argue about who's "best pony" among the "Mane 6."  That argument will never be settled, of course, because people will always have their personal likes and dislikes, but there's a distinct difference between "best pony" and "best pony character," and there's very little doubt in my mind as to who the latter is: Rarity.  Rarity is one marvelous, marvelous character, and I'm not just saying that in a (falsely) "dumbed-down" MLP context.  I think that she's easily one of the best animated characters I've ever encountered, and she's already pushing hard, in a demure sort of way, for the exalted title of my favorite female Toon of any sort.

A bit of personal-historical perspective may be helpful here, at least to those of my readers who haven't heard me express my opinions on this subject before (most notably in PASSIONS, my friend Ken Bausert's old general-interest APA, back in the 1990s).  I may have great love for the male-dominated Duck comics and DuckTales, but I have no problem whatsoever with strong female Toon characters, and Disney TV Animation certainly provided more than its share of those during its heyday...

These gals all had their foibles -- well, you'd probably have to look a little more closely than normal to find Kim Possible's, but I digress -- but they also possessed obvious skills and enough strength of character to hold their own with anybody.  My single favorite female Toon, however, has long been POGO's Miss Ma'amselle Hepzibah, the demure French skunk who, if only by default, is the "romantic interest" in Walt Kelly's distaff-shy Okefenokee Swamp.

So, why The Divine Mademoiselle H?  Well, she's obviously quite easy on the eyes, especially in the later years of the strip.  She exudes thoughtfulness and generosity with her freely offered picnic lunches.  She also gives off the air of being "available" but doesn't pursue any one male in particular, though I've always assumed that she'd wind up with Pogo one of these years (by which I mean, the "imagined years" of the strip's continuance).  And, of course, the "fractured Franglais" that serves as her standard patois is simply delightful.

For all of Hepzibah's charms, she is, like Pogo himself, a rather... passive... character.  It makes sense that one of the common themes of the quadrennial "Pogo for President" campaigns involved getting Pogo and Hepzibah "hitched" for additional appeal to the voters; the more proactive characters laid their plans, while the possum and skunk were more or less ignorant of what was going on.  (When they DID find out, they tended to not be so keen on the idea, at least on the surface.)  When it came to general deportment, Pogo was famously reticent, but Hepzibah was, if possible, even more so.  The Wikipedia entry on POGO claims that Hepzibah "tends to be overdramatic," which, at least in my mind, brings Wikipedia's reliability into severe question.  (I'm being sarcastic, don't you know.)  Not only was Hepzibah not "overdramatic," but she very rarely even lost her temper or raised her voice; her "outbursts," when they came, tended to be quite mild.

RANTING FRENCH SKUNK! AUX BARRICADES!!

Rarity, "Spirit of Generosity" of the Elements of Harmony, ace gem-finder, and proprietor of Ponyville's chic Carousel Boutique, possesses obvious similarities to Hepzibah, most notably (and delightfully) in the area of looks.  I seem to have some sort of "thing" for well-designed black-and-white characters dating back to Kimba the White Lion and even Richie Rich's dog Dollar; indeed, one of the only things that made Disney's 101 Dalmatians: The Series palatable for me was the panache of "lead pup" Lucky.  (Yes, I know that the latter show featured scads of other B&W characters.  But I also know that character is more than color-scheme deep.)

Rarity isn't B&W, quite -- her mane and tail are actually dark purple -- but she has so much going for her that I'm willing to grant her B&W status by proxy.  Her attractiveness is exponentially increased by the fact that she (1) has a distinct, well-advertised sense of style and fashion and (2) gets to frequently play "dress-up" due to the fact that she designs dresses.  Some of her outfits are real knockouts, and, when I saw her appear in a "Frenchy" gown with gloves (or are they socks??  It's hard to tell with ponies) and speaking with a French accent... well, for obvious reasons, it was almost too much for me to take.

But it is in the area of personality that Rarity truly shines.  A long-standing credo of mine is that, in order for me to truly enjoy a comic-strip, comic-book, or animated product, "I've got to have someone to root for."  Smartass humor and satire can be fun in an intellectual sense, but, in an emotional sense, they can take you only so far.  One of the strengths of MLP:FIM is that it is so easy to root for the "Mane 6" characters and their friends as they alternatively learn lessons about friendship (the "Dear Princess Celestia..." episodes, which are not as prevalent as they once were but are still very much a part of the series) and battle various threats to Equestria (which, ironically, will have to be revamped in season four now that the ponies have managed to make friends with, or at least come to some sort of terms with, the likes of Discord and Trixie).  Complicating matters, but also engendering audience sympathy, is the fact that the "Mane 6" occasionally have difficulty living up to their "spirits."  Thus, for example, Applejack's stubborn honesty often leads her to bite off more than she can chew, Rainbow Dash's athletic abilities feed an ego that occasionally spins out of control, and Twilight Sparkle's anal-retentive devotion to her magical studies and her responsibilities as Celestia's prize mentee literally drove her insane on one infamous occasion.

Needless to say, Rarity participated in the great game of "fighting against her nature" as well.  In her case, however, the battle never really ends; there is always some sort of conflict going on between her obvious virtues (generosity towards others, above all) and her equally obvious flaws (love of attention, desire to gain wider fame and fortune for her couturiere skills, a somewhat controlling nature, and a genuine predilection to overdramatize things).  Part of the reason for the struggle may be that "Spirit of Generosity" was not Rarity's original monicker; she was originally slated to be the "Spirit of Inspiration," but the show's creators eventually decided that title to be too vague.  It's almost as if the tension between what Rarity was supposed to be and what she was ultimately assigned to be is "working itself out" inside her as the series progresses.  That has to be somewhat painful.  It may make her (not to mention the viewer/reader) feel better to consider that Scrooge McDuck has had to fight a similar "battle between natures" ever since Carl Barks started to soften the hard-bitten early version of the character in the 50s.

Rarity impressed me favorably when I first started watching some of the "key episodes" of MLP:FIM, but then, all of the "Mane 6" characters did, with the possible exception of Pinkie Pie (and I've since raised the "pink flag" on her, mostly to keep her from using it to break the fourth wall again).  I first began to take Rarity seriously as a great character when I watched the early second-season ep "Sisterhooves Social."  This episode, even with its elementary plot and occasional dips into shameless sentimentality, is now snugly ensconced in my personal "Top 10" list of favorite half-hour animated eps.  Yes, right up there with the likes of "Hero for Hire," "Sir Gyro de Gearloose," "Journey into Time," "Dangerous Journey," "Stormy Weather"... you KNOW it had to have wowed me in order to join such company so quickly.  Hard on the hooves of "Social" came "Sweet and Elite," the tale of Rarity's attempt to break into the high society of Equestria's capital Canterlot, which is almost as good, both as a story and as an examination of Rarity's character.  Amazingly, the series has given Rarity NO STARRING ROLES since then, leaving it to the magnificent issue #3 of IDW's MLP MICRO-SERIES to remind us what we have been missing in the interim.  Happily, reports are that Rarity will be getting some featured roles in season four.

As I noted above, whereas Hepzibah is a warm and likable, but perhaps overly placid and overly nit-free, character, Rarity is an exquisitely balanced mixture of virtues and flaws (which her virtues give her the character to overcome -- eventually).  The tension is never more apparent than in the episode "Sonic Rainboom," in which she selflessly agrees to test a difficult "temporary flying spell" for Twilight so that the ponies can go up to the Pegasus stronghold of Cloudsdale and support Rainbow Dash in a "Best Young Flier" contest.  The whole gang eventually gets up there (with the others opting for a simpler "ability to walk on clouds" spell), but Rarity is so taken with her beautiful new wings (or, more accurately, with others' awed reactions to the wings) that she completely forgets about the "big picture" and decides to enter the contest herself.  When she climaxes her routine by flying up to bask in the light of the sun...

... well, anyone with a cursory knowledge of Greek mythology can guess what's coming next.  Rainbow Dash ends up performing the supposedly impossible "Sonic Rainboom" maneuver (and, needless to say, winning the contest) to save Rarity from a death-dive.  A properly chagrined Rarity begs forgiveness of Princess Celestia and the other "Mane" ponies and, of course, receives it.

"Sweet and Elite" has something of a similar structure to "Rainboom," with Rarity intending to perform a good deed (in this case, making Twilight a birthday dress to thank her for securing a room in Celestia's palace during Rarity's business trip to Canterlot) but getting sidetracked by an unexpected chance to shine herself.  In this case, the "chance to shine" is nothing less than the opportunity to become "the pony that everypony should know" in Canterlot society.  Since the vast majority of "Canterlot society" consists of shallow, superficial snobs, Rarity, by her very nature, is already a hind leg up on them insofar as "true class" goes.  Given her strong emphasis on the importance of style and fashion, it's probably understandable that she fails to realize that.  The "crisis" arrives when Twilight and the other "Mane" ponies unexpectedly come to town to celebrate Twilight's birthday at precisely the time when Rarity is granted a precious invitation to an exclusive garden party.  This leads to the usual "I have to be in two places at once" hijinx...

... but the scam becomes unstuck, as it inevitably does in "sitches" like these, and Rarity is forced to choose between propitiating the snobs and defending her "rustic" Ponyville friends.  (Given that Canterlot and Ponyville are literally within physical sight of one another, one could question the logic of this last conflict, but whatever.)  After taking several deep breaths and making several funny faces, she does so.  Luckily, the leading snob is more broad-minded than the others, and so Rarity escapes relatively unscathed.  One could object here that Rarity manages to get away with A LOT (including nearly freezing her cat Opalescence to death to convince the others that "the poor dear" is sick), but the subterfuge is at least partially mitigated by the straightforwardness with which Rarity admits her relationship to the other members of the "Mane 6."  This is a pretty consistent trait: Rarity always does the right thing when push comes to shove.  It's the struggle before the "push" becomes the "shove" that helps us identify with her; as with Darkwing Duck, Scrooge McDuck, and other flawed-yet-admirable Toons, we recognize her weaknesses in ourselves.

"Sisterhooves Social" focuses on the surefire theme of conflict between siblings -- in this case, Rarity and her little sister Sweetie Belle, who is dumped in Rarity's lap while the girls' "redneck Canadian" parents go off on a vacation.  (How did Rarity get to be so sophisticated when she has such parents as role models?  Greg Weagle would no doubt say that he SMELLS A FANFIC COMING!  And, knowing the Bronies, it's probably already been written.)

Sweetie Belle proves more willing than able to help the busy, preoccupied Rarity around the house.  Worse yet, she innocently provokes chaos by doing things that Rarity doesn't want done, such as using some rare gemstones to make Rarity a present and cleaning up Rarity's messy "inspiration room."  Rarity reacts as you would expect a picky perfectionist and "artiste" to react, but voice actress Tabitha St. Germain always puts a "little something special" into these bursts of temper, including "sudden low-pitched shrieks" that clash dramatically (and amusingly) with Rarity's normal, Audrey Hepburn-inflected voice.

Eventually, the girls become "un-sisters," and Sweetie Belle goes to be with her friend Apple Bloom and AB's sister Applejack, who are... well, certainly not "un-sisters."  Rarity recognizes the folly of her ways in quasi-operatic fashion when she takes another look at Sweetie's "silly little art project" and breaks down in tears...

... but, when she tries to make up with Sweetie Belle, she has some initial trouble acknowledging that the main problem is that, as Applejack puts it, "[she] never give[s] in" and she has to cure herself of the habit of being such a control freak.  When she, Applejack, and Apple Bloom hatch a scheme to allow Rarity to be an unwitting Sweetie Belle's partner at the Sisterhooves Social race on the Apple Family Farm, Rarity must overcome an equally forbidding phobia: an unwillingness to get dirty.  Well, one can hardly say that she didn't willingly go completely in the other direction in this case.

The girls reconcile in the end and tell their story to Princess Celestia.  I think that "Social" is the best of all of the "Rarity comes through late" eps, because the personal stakes are so high in this case and just about everyone can easily relate to the specific situation.

Another primal emotion -- jealousy -- fuels the plot of "Green Isn't Your Color" (clever title, that, considering Rarity's close identification with fashion).  Rarity gets a chance to show off her sartorial stock for a big-time fashion photographer and convinces Fluttershy to be her model, but the photog winds up going gaga for Fluttershy, who becomes a famous supermodel while Rarity is left to sit and stew.  The ep builds up the jealousy angle quite nicely, with Rarity alternatively blaming herself for her "failure to impress," doing the standard slow burns, and feeling severe pangs of guilt over her hopes that Fluttershy will fail.  As with the sister conflict, I think that we have all experienced one or more of these "stages of jealousy" at one time or another.

Unbeknownst to Rarity, however, the timid Fluttershy doesn't really want to BE the cynosure of all Equestria.  Twilight tries to use magic to help Fluttershy embarrass herself at a fashion show, but Rarity, "coming through" yet again, has an attack of pity for her friend and cheers the "new kind of modeling," leaving Fluttershy more popular than ever.  The two finally admit their real feelings to one another, and the status quo is restored.  It would have been so easy to have made Rarity the outright villain of this piece, but the show's writers, by and large, seem to have a solid grasp of what the character is capable of and can believably do; it is quite uncommon to see a script lazily fall back on characterizing Rarity as an egotistical fashionista.

Even on those occasions when Rarity plays a relatively minor role in an episode, the sheer force of her personality and emotions tend to leave a distinct impression.  "Ponyville Confidential" finds the Cutie Mark Crusaders trying to earn their "cutie marks" as journalists -- or, as things turn out, gossip columnists for the school paper.  The girls perform their dubious task so well that they are soon infuriating everypony in town with "juicy stories" of doubtful veracity.  As the other "Mane 6" ponies fret and fume, Rarity laughs off the "harmless gossip"... but then her own private diary gets published in the paper.

Finding out that Sweetie Belle had "borrowed" her diary, Rarity confronts her sister in typically overblown fashion.  Rank hypocrisy on display, you're no doubt saying -- but the thing is that Rarity actually evinces the most mature ultimate reaction to Sweetie's "betrayal" of any of the "Mane 6."  Whereas the other ponies shun the Crusaders, Rarity calmly tells Sweetie Belle that any "cutie mark" gained by hurting others' feelings and reputations probably isn't worth having.  These are literally her last words of the episode, but they are the ones that linger after the credits have rolled.

In "A Dog and Pony Show," Rarity initially appears to be a "mere" victim rather than a protagonist, as she is captured by gem-grubbing Diamond Dogs and forced to become a gem-hunting slave for them.  But she has a trick up her sleeve (or would, if she were wearing a dress in this episode).  Knowing full well what she's doing, she literally whines the Diamond Dogs into near-insanity while her friends are coming to the rescue.  These are sequences that you actually have to see to fully appreciate.  The first time I watched them, I assumed that Rarity was simply "being Rarity" and that her reactions were entirely natural.  Credit goes to Tabitha St. Germain for brilliantly hiding the truth with one of her best performances as Rarity.

If you're not interested in the TV series, you can still get an excellent overview of all of Rarity's glories in the MICRO-SERIES comic "How Rarity Got Her Groovy Back."  One of the folks commenting on the issue on Equestria Daily noted that the issue "emphasized so many of Rarity's best traits, including not merely generosity, but also her ambition, drive, commitment to hard work, intelligence, and business savvy."  I was especially pleased to see this last trait play such a major role in the story, especially after the tale began as a standard "finicky fish tossed into dirty water" scenario, with Rarity going for some needed R&R to a "wellness center" that turns out to be a front for a hippie commune that makes "all-natural" toiletry items.

Rather than run screaming for home, however, Rarity sticks out the muddy humiliations inherent in making the commune's products -- mostly because she appreciates their quality and gets to sample them...

 

... and, when she learns that the commune is in danger of being razed to make way for the Equestrian equivalent of a Wal-Mart, she helps the clueless hippies (are there any other kind??) to revamp their business (along "all-natural" lines, of course) and make it a profitable one.  Not only does this story highlight something about Rarity that is generally taken for granted -- she is a successful entrepreneur to rival Rebecca Cunningham, and perhaps an even more admirable one because she literally does everything herself (with a fair bit of help from her "Unicorn magic") -- but it treats the hippies' concerns as legitimate without devolving into the usual anti-capitalist screed.

I'll close this unconscionably long, yet deeply heartfelt, tribute by discussing the one episode in which Rarity's signature generosity takes full and complete center stage, with no deviations due to the other demons that drive her: "Suited for Success."  Rarity insists upon making new dresses for her friends to wear at Canterlot's upcoming Grand Galloping Gala, but they take advantage of her offer and insist upon "appropriate" changes to the (splendid) original designs.  Rarity, being Rarity, tries desperately to accommodate them... in song.

The revised dresses are so ludicrous that, when the ponies hold a fashion show to showcase Rarity's work, they receive universal cat -- er, ponycalls.  Rarity's reaction is nothing if not resigned and restrained.  No, actually, she goes into a long spiel about how one should properly "wallow in pity" and "go into exile."  This might be considered another case of Rarity's penchant for overdramatization, but, in this case, I think that she was perfectly within her rights to have a little tantrum.  Melodramatically calling herself "pa-the-he-tic" may have pushed the envelope a little too far, though.

Rarity's friends realize that they were wrong to "look a gift pony in the mouth" and apologize.  The subsequent "Take 2" fashion show is much more successful than the first one, as you might expect. 

I think you get my point.  I look forward with great anticipation to the show's plans for Rarity during season four and beyond.  If the creators are smart -- and I certainly think they are -- then they will take full advantage of the potential inherent in this wonderful character and give her the more prominent role that she deserves.  In the interim, I'll leave Rarity and Hepzibah to compare notes.  Hepzibah can teach Rarity how to control her emotions a bit, and Rarity can teach Hepzibah... how to use Kimba-style karate punches to fight off changeling monsters.

Yes, really.  I TOLD you the gal was multi-faceted.

History at the Junction of Two Rivers

With Nicky having taken some time off this week, we availed ourselves of the opportunity to take a long-planned day trip to Harpers Ferry, WV.  It seemed a good time to do so, as the sesquicentennial of the Battle of Gettysburg was taking place right up the road, and that would surely draw away a good many of the tourists that would normally be visiting Harpers Ferry at this time of year.  Sure enough, a number of the other people we saw on Monday morning and afternoon were wearing Gettysburg gear, suggesting that they were indulging in a kind of "swing around the Civil War circle."  As an historical site, however, Harpers Ferry is rather more diverse than you might expect.  There's plenty of "Blue-and-Gray" stuff on hand, of course, but also some interesting exhibits relating to industrial and social life in a town that has been repeatedly buffeted by war, insurrection, and the vagaries of nature but has bounced back to life again and again.

Harpers Ferry's Lower Town, situated at the point where the Shenandoah River meets the Potomac, is quite small but packs both historical and aesthetic punches.  "The Point" affords a beautiful view that has remained relatively unchanged for centuries.  It's considered to be the "psychological midpoint" of the Appalachian Trail, which wends its white-blazed way right through the center of town.  Back in the 19th century, some enterprising but environmentally obtuse manufacturer emblazoned an advertisement for "powder" (of the blasting variety, I suppose) on the cliff side, and you can still see it.  By now, however, it's sufficiently weathered that it almost looks like a natural part of the cliff, so you could say that nature won the ultimate battle with commercialism. 

The famed fire-engine house in which John Brown, America's first-ever beneficiary of "Radical Chic," and his band of insurrectionists holed up before being overrun by Robert E. Lee's Marine detachment still stands, in a manner of speaking.  Actually, the building has enjoyed a surprisingly mobile career, including stays at the 1893 Chicago Exposition (Kim, Ron, and Doctor Who, take note!) and on the campus of the defunct Storer College, a normal school founded after the Civil War to educate freed blacks.  It's now located about 150 feet from its original site, which is marked by an obelisk. Pieces of the original door that was smashed in by the Marines are on display in a nearby museum devoted to Brown and his career.  There's also a John Brown wax museum in the Upper Town, located (no surprise) up a hill from the Lower Town, but let's just say that it is a "non-sanctioned" memorial and let it go at that.

Well before Brown burst upon the scene, other noteworthy historical figures braved Harpers Ferry's hilly streets and marveled at the natural surroundings.  Thomas Jefferson visited in 1783, and the rock on which he stood to get the proverbial "better view" is located northwest of the Lower Town off the Appalachian Trail.  (You can't climb on the rock these days, because it's rather unstable, but that didn't prevent one guy from trying to do so before Nicky and I pointed out the warning sign to him.)  Twenty years after Jefferson, Meriwether Lewis got supplies in Harpers Ferry prior to meeting up with William Clark and organizing the Corps of Discovery.  Nicky's and my trudge up the winding, rocky path to Jefferson Rock marked our most daunting physical challenge of the day.

Harpers Ferry is a very small town now, but, in the antebellum and post-Civil War years, it enjoyed long and prosperous stretches as an industrial center.  The National Armory that was the object of John Brown's raid was the most significant industry, but the Lower Town also has displays of machine shops and the like, and the railroad still runs through town, with Amtrak and MARC trains passing through every once in a while.  The trains come from Washington, so the car trip from Baltimore (which takes about an hour) remains the most efficient option for getting to Harpers Ferry, but, if relatives or friends come to visit and we want to take them there, we might be willing to splurge a little and enjoy the scenery on the train.

The only negative thing about the Lower Town is the fact that historical guides and "reenactors," of the kind you'd see at Mount Vernon or Colonial Williamsburg, are rather thin on the ground.  We saw a couple, but they were busily engaged in giving directions and information to several large swarms of kids, who were presumably on day trips from nearby camps.  The kids traveled in groups behind streamer-bedecked bedsheet banners that would probably not cause the Junior Woodchucks to lose any sleep over the potential competition.  We were left to guide ourselves through exhibits in reconstructed watch repair shops, bakeries, confectioneries, and dry-goods stores.  We felt the lack of expert assistance at the dry-goods shop, where the shelves held large bins of, among other things, cinnamon, nutmeg, pepper, fennel, cloves, cornstarch, gunpowder (!), and... "twankey"??  What the heck?  With the lack of local cell reception preventing us from engaging in immediate Googlage, we had quite a time speculating on the ID of that mysterious substance.  Was it the past tense of Twinkie (which would have been appropriate until the survival of the venerable snack cake was assured not long ago)?  A leftover word from a Dr. Seuss song chorus ("twink, twank, twunk")?  A cheesy 50s sci-fi movie starring Hans Conreid?  Actually, "twankey" turned out to be a cheap green tea from China with an interesting connection to the 19th century stage version of Aladdin.  Is it really surprising that a beverage with a name like that would be positioned on the lower end of the quality scale?

Somewhat surprisingly, when it came time for us to have some lunch, we found it rather difficult to locate a first-rate sit-down place.  The Upper Town has many eateries, but they're mostly of the "sandwich, soup 'n salad" variety -- that is, when they're not appendages to bars.  We finally settled upon the Town's Inn, a lodging house with a small restaurant attached.  Nicky had bratwurst and kraut, while I enjoyed some fairly decent macaroni and cheese and some "chunky" cole slaw (I was unaware that cabbage cut in flat squares qualified as "chunky").  We washed it down with water and an obscure brand of zero-calorie drink that I can most accurately describe as "cola-themed" and fortified ourselves against the increasing temperature with some frozen custard.

Relying as we did on the shuttle bus from the National Park visitor's center to the town -- there is very limited parking in the town itself, as you might imagine -- we were only able to take one semi-side trip, to Bolivar Heights, the site of a number of Civil War engagements.  The most famous of these occurred in 1862, when almost 13,000 Union troops surrendered in the largest such capitulation endured by the U.S. Army until Bataan in World War II.  Some of the views we obtained from the Heights were almost as good as those we got at The Point.  Unfortunately, with the views came rather large swarms of gnats, so we didn't stay very long.

Along with the historical sites, Harpers Ferry is a popular jumping-off point for "wilderness adventures" of varying degrees of rigor: rafting, tubing, hiking, zip-lining, and so forth.  These enterprises have helped keep the local economy afloat despite the town's relative isolation and the effects of periodic flooding.  If you're visiting in the D.C. area, you might want to consider "helping out" by making a visit.  It's doable in a day and literally has something for everyone.