Two years ago yesterday, my life changed. Two years ago yesterday, I took my biggest step in this very long journey. Two years ago yesterday, I did something some people think is the "easy" way out. Two years ago yesterday, I had bariatric surgery. I had a sleeve gastrectomy.
In the months between my initial appointment and my surgery date, I thought things were the most difficult they'd get. I had multiple appointments each week for tests and clearances, not to mention a couple of very large health scares. I didn't know it then, but that was just the beginning of this roller coaster... a roller coaster I'd ride again and wish I rode years prior.
I'm going to take the lead of a friend of mine who also had the sleeve surgery and talk about what I miss since surgery.
I miss pasta, rice, and bread (and oh boy do I!).
I miss ice cream (although Halo Top is pretty darn good).
I miss fast food - because sometimes you just want some fries and a Frosty.
I miss beef (because my sleeve doesn't tolerate it well), but a good burger or a nice filet sound really yummy, especially as we enter grilling season.
But I also have a list of things I don't miss...
I don't miss dreading my PCP's office calling with lab results, only to learn my blood sugar is pre-diabetic and my triglycerides and cholesterol are high.
I don't miss being embarrassed meeting new people and ashamed when I went with my husband to a work function.
I don't miss thinking how I'd like to do something (like going to the mountains to see waterfalls, for instance), but knowing that it wasn't feasible because I didn't have the physical stamina.
I don't miss having to skip rides at Disney because I didn't fit (or not trying because I was worried I wouldn't and couldn't bear that embarrassment).
I don't miss people asking if I was pregnant. This one was especially painful as a woman unable to bear children.
I don't miss being the most obvious, most stared-at person in the room, while simultaneously being the most invisible.
I don't miss being given the once-over at the airport to determine if I need to buy an extra seat.
I don't miss needing to ask for a seat belt extender when I did fly.
I don't miss getting winded walking up a flight of stairs.
I don't miss being forced to shop online because I wore a size too large to be carried in stores.
I don't miss needing to catch my breath after bending over to tie my shoes.
I don't miss being treated as sub-human, being ignored, and being talked "at."
I don't miss not being able to take my dogs for a walk.
I don't miss dreading the sight of a restaurant booth,.
I don't miss having to squeeze into the the drivers side of the car or an airplane seat.
I don't miss my C-PAP machine!
I don't miss taking 2 different blood pressure medications.
I don't miss people making judgments of me based solely on my size.
I don't miss people offering hugs to others but not to me (obesity is not contagious!).
I don't miss doctors dismissing very real and unrelated symptoms, blaming them on my weight.
*these lists are not by any means exhaustive, just limited by my current brain shutdown.
The list of things I miss...those are all tangible. But most of the things I don't miss are the opposite - they can't be held or touched or bought. They are intangible and they weren't going away unless I lost the weight.
On another note, 7 weeks ago today I had my panniculectomy. I saw the surgeon on Monday and he is pleased with how I'm healing. He said I don't have to return for 6 weeks, which about sent me into shock. I've seen him at least every week or two for the past 7 weeks. I think I'm going to have withdrawal!
I also saw my bariatric surgeon this week. While the 5 lbs of skin removed during my panniculectomy would have put me at half of my highest weight, I remain the same weight I was the day of surgery (I suspect due to fluid retention...that, and not being able to workout). I'm a stubborn woman (although the word tenacious is so much nicer, isn't it?) and will get to that 163 lb mark so I can officially be half of my former self. It just may take some time to do it because I'm slightly less strict with my diet than I was a year ago. However, the bariatric surgeon said that he wishes all of his patients were as successful as I've been, since I've maintained my weight within about 5 pounds for the past year.
You've come to learn that I'm very open about my journey and want to help out anyone I can. Please don't hesitate to share my blog if you know someone considering surgery or who has had surgery (either bariatric or skin removal).
Thanks for taking the time to read this!
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label shopping. Show all posts
Friday, May 25, 2018
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Day 85 -- What Now?? I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to write!
First, I can hardly believe that yesterday was 12 weeks! In some ways it feels like it's been that long, especially when I get a craving. In other ways, that's a LONG time! Since surgery, I'm down 31.6 lbs since surgery and 74.4 lbs from my first visit with the surgeon on 12/30/15. I still feel like I'm looking into those circus mirrors, though. Especially when I take pictures from the side (you'll see in pictures below that there are none of those!), I look pregnant and don't see much of a difference. It's a circus mirror - it must be, right? :P
Well, we went out to that same restaurant again (the high-end steak and seafood house) -- this time for my Mom's birthday. I was going to see my Aunt and Uncle on my Father's side (who I haven't seen in nearly 3 years) and my Uncle and his wife on my Mom's side (who I haven't seen since last Christmas). I admit, I was a little excited. Anyone I haven't seen in a long time can see a difference. It's a nice feeling for people to compliment me (although I still have that water-off-a-duck's-back "disease"), be happy for me, and encourage me. Don't get me wrong, I get that from friends and family here, but there's just something different when they see a drastic change.
Knowing that I was going to see family who I hadn't seen in a long time, I decided to treat myself to a new dress! You can see part of it in the picture below. I did get a "gut-sucker-inner" (my general label for any Spanx-type products. There is a part of me that really protrudes in whatever I wear and this dress was no exception. As far as clothes and shopping go, I'm just excited to be able to shop in a real, in person store! I have found some old clothes which fit (or hopefully will soon) and I certainly don't have a problem wearing them. Many are from when I worked, so are dressier than something I'd wear with denim shorts. I was at the dentist last week - I see the same hygienist each time. She was so surprised and so happy for me, telling me she can't wait to see me in 6 months and gave me a big hug. Back to my point -- she told me of a thrift shop about 10 minutes from the dentist (who is already 30 minutes from home), so I stopped in there. They had brand new clothes, tags still on, for under $10! Some clothes were 50% off so I got something like 7 new shirts and a dress for under $40. I foresee myself spending a lot of time here in the next year. Great store! Clean, nice clothes, jewelry, expanding to include furniture. A real gem! I never would have thought that I'd get excited about shopping again!
At the restaurant, I ordered the same: 3 scallops and asparagus, both grilled. I'm not sure why I bothered getting the asparagus because I'm too full to eat it, but one of my nephews took it to have it with his leftover dinner. For that matter, I wasn't able to finish 3 scallops over the course of more than the 30 minutes I'm supposed to take to eat. We picked up an ice cream cake for my Mom (after dinner, so I was stuffed!) and I was so full from dinner that it didn't even phase me, which I feared it would. Sure my brain wanted some, but my body said "UH-UH, NO WAY!" Having a complete aversion to vomiting - seriously, who doesn't (?) - I decided to listen to my body. No cake for me (is anyone else saying that in the "no soup for you" voice? Ok, maybe it's just me...)!
I'm still trying to figure out the brain hunger vs. body hunger aspect of this whole thing. I'm not used to giving any concern to that. Before surgery, hunger was hunger, period. And it meant that I ate. Period. And that meant that I got to be over 310 lbs and needed this surgery after numerous, almost countless, attempts to do this thing on my own. I try to eat every 3-1/2 to 4 hours to make sure I get my protein and to help me prevent headaches. Every medication I take is being metabolized differently now. I weigh significantly less, which automatically means there is less of me to pump those meds through. It's going to be a balancing act until I land at a reasonable weight (whatever that may be) and can figure it all out "for real." According to my doc's office, most of the weight will come off in the first 18 months; by next Christmas, I should be golden! Until then, trial-and-error pervade my life. Life is just different and in limbo more than usual. But I signed on for this and have put too much into it to just throw it all away!
I started doing water aerobics (can't remember if I've said that before), but have been somewhat inconsistent due to a variety of reasons. I have, however, continued to see the scale go down. I mean, how could it not? I'm eating around 800 calories a day. Anyone is going to lose weight doing that. I was excited to be able to add fruit into the mix (after I've gotten my protein and some veggies). It's that something sweet that I've wanted. I also made chicken salad, using Short-Cuts (Perdue), with Greek yogurt instead of mayo - try it sometime; not only does it pump up the protein, but it offers up a change in flavor. I so desperately wanted to add grapes to it, but ran it first the dietitian first and was thrilled to get the go-ahead!!! We've branched out some with our meals, trying new recipes, many of which have been quite good!
I've been taking pictures about every 4 weeks. While not all of them are clear (and I've kept my face out of them, even though people have told me that's where they can really see a difference), I have decided to post some pictures to date. Before I do that, let me say that from my first visit with the surgeon at 304 lbs, and a surgery weight of 261.2, I think I'm on the right track. I just have to get my butt in gear with increasing exercise, but that's another story. Ok, here goes nothing (and you get to see how sloppy and dirty my bedroom and mirror are):
Not too shabby, huh?
I have to tell you that I realize I look pregnant in the 8 week picture - it's the shirt; it's just not cut right for my body.
I can't tell you the last time that I was under 230 pounds! I mean, I could look back because I have calendars up in my night table, but I don't feel like going up there right now. I can tell you that it's been MANY years! And the last time I did hit it, it didn't last long. I was probably about 180 when I first started therapy in March of 2000. When I stopped working in November of that year, I wouldn't be surprised if I was around 200 (meds are a horrible contributor!). There was a shirt I found and there is a picture of me wearing it on a 2007 trip to Disney World.
I'm becoming more accustomed to the dietary changes. I still forget to eat sometimes. I typically start off my day with a protein shake (between 33-35 grams of protein - I'm supposed to get between 60-80 grams daily). A protein bar is usually 20 grams. Then I'll have Egg Beaters or Rosemary Chicken, Chicken Lettuce Wraps (better than PF Changs, in my opinion), Chicken "Fried" "Riceless" Rice... and I keep trying new things. The last 3 got serious approval from hubby, especially the Rosemary Chicken and the Lettuce Wraps - 5 stars! I have a number of bariatric cookbooks and am trying to get adventurous (within the confines of my dietary restrictions, since each program is different).
Big news on the Jen front: I can CROSS MY LEGS!!! No, it's not ankle to ankle or lower calf to lower calf, but it's not ankle to knee! Again, something someone who hasn't been morbidly obese doesn't even think about, but it's one of those things that comes into play. Wear skirts is awkward, but now I can without fear of showing a little too much of myself!
I also went shopping - in my very own closet! Ok, much of what I found is from before I went on disability in 2000 so it has shoulder pads. Fear not, those will be removed before that garment comes anywhere near my body (other than trying it on). I absolutely will not - WILL NOT - be leaving the house with shoulder pads, unless I'm going to an 80s themed party (highly unlikely).
I said to hubby last night as I was struggling to get in my minimum protein that people think surgery is the easy way out. They have NO clue - and it's not their fault, they just don't have the experience or know anyone who has and has been honest about it. The hard work starts when real food enters the post-op world. When I go to the gym, I have time to eat a Greek yogurt (12 grams protein) because it takes me an hour or so to down a protein shake and I don't have that kind of time. When I get home I shower and blah, blah, blah and by the time I eat again, I'm already behind the 8-ball. I'm figuring it out, though... little-by-little.
The next hurdle is vacation next month. Just being at the supermarket last weekend with the Halloween candy out, I was reminded of the fudge, salt water taffy, funnel cake/funnel fries, pizza, burgers.... you know how it is. I mean, how many people go on vacation without food playing a fairly major role? C'mon... be serious!! I'll definitely be having a long conversation with my dietitian! I'll be packing my Magic Bullet so I can make protein shakes and some protein bars for when we're out and about. I also think we'll pick up some Egg Beaters and string cheese sticks to have on hand for a 6 g protein fix. From someone who isn't a big fan of cheese, I'm shocked at how much I'm eating - Weight Watchers brand makes a smoked mozzarella string cheese and they are pretty stinkin' good. The plain ones were really hard to get down.
Ok, so, if you've kept up with the blog, you've seen the restrictions. I've worked to darn hard to screw this up. What do you think would be the most difficult thing for you? I know I've offered up plenty of opinions and shared a lot of my story. But, how would you handle this? I venture to say that you'd be able to do more than you ever thought possible. Don't for one minute, though, ever tell anyone who is considering or has had bariatric surgery that it's the easy way out. There's no cheating if you want to succeed. No "one Skinny Cow candy bar is fine," "I can have just one chip and it'll be ok because I can stop there" or "one bowl of pasta won't hurt" - NO! WRONG! This is hard work. Just ask anyone who has been around me and sees what I eat and how I eat. HARD WORK!
I know there are some reading this blog who are considering the surgery. I do not discuss the difficult things to dissuade you from having the operation (whichever one you and your doctor deem appropriate with the greatest opportunity for success). I just want you to go into it with your eyes open. It is one of the major reasons I'm putting myself out there. Also, maybe you know someone who is going to have one of the bariatric surgeries. You need to know what they'll be going through. You need to know how to support and encourage them. You will be a vital part of their success.
On an unrelated note, this year I have begun a very small "business" as an independent consultant for a direct sales company. I have gained some confidence, both with the ability to wear something that doesn't look like a tent, and having positive feedback from what I've done with this. Being on disability, I'm not able to do a lot, but this allows me to set my own schedule and have parties when I feel well enough, do Facebook parties, and even have hostesses who opt for catalog parties. It can be really stressful sometimes and that's hard on me emotionally, but when something goes well and I can help someone achieve one of her goals, it's certainly heart-warming.
How can I help you? What questions can I answer? What support can I offer you or a friend? Please don't hesitate for one minute to ask. I mean, if I've posted that awful 310 lb picture, I'm willing to discuss "almost" anything. I want to help, encourage, support and celebrate your experience!
Well, we went out to that same restaurant again (the high-end steak and seafood house) -- this time for my Mom's birthday. I was going to see my Aunt and Uncle on my Father's side (who I haven't seen in nearly 3 years) and my Uncle and his wife on my Mom's side (who I haven't seen since last Christmas). I admit, I was a little excited. Anyone I haven't seen in a long time can see a difference. It's a nice feeling for people to compliment me (although I still have that water-off-a-duck's-back "disease"), be happy for me, and encourage me. Don't get me wrong, I get that from friends and family here, but there's just something different when they see a drastic change.
Knowing that I was going to see family who I hadn't seen in a long time, I decided to treat myself to a new dress! You can see part of it in the picture below. I did get a "gut-sucker-inner" (my general label for any Spanx-type products. There is a part of me that really protrudes in whatever I wear and this dress was no exception. As far as clothes and shopping go, I'm just excited to be able to shop in a real, in person store! I have found some old clothes which fit (or hopefully will soon) and I certainly don't have a problem wearing them. Many are from when I worked, so are dressier than something I'd wear with denim shorts. I was at the dentist last week - I see the same hygienist each time. She was so surprised and so happy for me, telling me she can't wait to see me in 6 months and gave me a big hug. Back to my point -- she told me of a thrift shop about 10 minutes from the dentist (who is already 30 minutes from home), so I stopped in there. They had brand new clothes, tags still on, for under $10! Some clothes were 50% off so I got something like 7 new shirts and a dress for under $40. I foresee myself spending a lot of time here in the next year. Great store! Clean, nice clothes, jewelry, expanding to include furniture. A real gem! I never would have thought that I'd get excited about shopping again!
At the restaurant, I ordered the same: 3 scallops and asparagus, both grilled. I'm not sure why I bothered getting the asparagus because I'm too full to eat it, but one of my nephews took it to have it with his leftover dinner. For that matter, I wasn't able to finish 3 scallops over the course of more than the 30 minutes I'm supposed to take to eat. We picked up an ice cream cake for my Mom (after dinner, so I was stuffed!) and I was so full from dinner that it didn't even phase me, which I feared it would. Sure my brain wanted some, but my body said "UH-UH, NO WAY!" Having a complete aversion to vomiting - seriously, who doesn't (?) - I decided to listen to my body. No cake for me (is anyone else saying that in the "no soup for you" voice? Ok, maybe it's just me...)!
I'm still trying to figure out the brain hunger vs. body hunger aspect of this whole thing. I'm not used to giving any concern to that. Before surgery, hunger was hunger, period. And it meant that I ate. Period. And that meant that I got to be over 310 lbs and needed this surgery after numerous, almost countless, attempts to do this thing on my own. I try to eat every 3-1/2 to 4 hours to make sure I get my protein and to help me prevent headaches. Every medication I take is being metabolized differently now. I weigh significantly less, which automatically means there is less of me to pump those meds through. It's going to be a balancing act until I land at a reasonable weight (whatever that may be) and can figure it all out "for real." According to my doc's office, most of the weight will come off in the first 18 months; by next Christmas, I should be golden! Until then, trial-and-error pervade my life. Life is just different and in limbo more than usual. But I signed on for this and have put too much into it to just throw it all away!
I started doing water aerobics (can't remember if I've said that before), but have been somewhat inconsistent due to a variety of reasons. I have, however, continued to see the scale go down. I mean, how could it not? I'm eating around 800 calories a day. Anyone is going to lose weight doing that. I was excited to be able to add fruit into the mix (after I've gotten my protein and some veggies). It's that something sweet that I've wanted. I also made chicken salad, using Short-Cuts (Perdue), with Greek yogurt instead of mayo - try it sometime; not only does it pump up the protein, but it offers up a change in flavor. I so desperately wanted to add grapes to it, but ran it first the dietitian first and was thrilled to get the go-ahead!!! We've branched out some with our meals, trying new recipes, many of which have been quite good!
I've been taking pictures about every 4 weeks. While not all of them are clear (and I've kept my face out of them, even though people have told me that's where they can really see a difference), I have decided to post some pictures to date. Before I do that, let me say that from my first visit with the surgeon at 304 lbs, and a surgery weight of 261.2, I think I'm on the right track. I just have to get my butt in gear with increasing exercise, but that's another story. Ok, here goes nothing (and you get to see how sloppy and dirty my bedroom and mirror are):
At my Mom's party (on 7/30/16), my Uncle's wife took this picture:
I have to tell you that I realize I look pregnant in the 8 week picture - it's the shirt; it's just not cut right for my body.
I can't tell you the last time that I was under 230 pounds! I mean, I could look back because I have calendars up in my night table, but I don't feel like going up there right now. I can tell you that it's been MANY years! And the last time I did hit it, it didn't last long. I was probably about 180 when I first started therapy in March of 2000. When I stopped working in November of that year, I wouldn't be surprised if I was around 200 (meds are a horrible contributor!). There was a shirt I found and there is a picture of me wearing it on a 2007 trip to Disney World.
I'm becoming more accustomed to the dietary changes. I still forget to eat sometimes. I typically start off my day with a protein shake (between 33-35 grams of protein - I'm supposed to get between 60-80 grams daily). A protein bar is usually 20 grams. Then I'll have Egg Beaters or Rosemary Chicken, Chicken Lettuce Wraps (better than PF Changs, in my opinion), Chicken "Fried" "Riceless" Rice... and I keep trying new things. The last 3 got serious approval from hubby, especially the Rosemary Chicken and the Lettuce Wraps - 5 stars! I have a number of bariatric cookbooks and am trying to get adventurous (within the confines of my dietary restrictions, since each program is different).
Big news on the Jen front: I can CROSS MY LEGS!!! No, it's not ankle to ankle or lower calf to lower calf, but it's not ankle to knee! Again, something someone who hasn't been morbidly obese doesn't even think about, but it's one of those things that comes into play. Wear skirts is awkward, but now I can without fear of showing a little too much of myself!
I also went shopping - in my very own closet! Ok, much of what I found is from before I went on disability in 2000 so it has shoulder pads. Fear not, those will be removed before that garment comes anywhere near my body (other than trying it on). I absolutely will not - WILL NOT - be leaving the house with shoulder pads, unless I'm going to an 80s themed party (highly unlikely).
I said to hubby last night as I was struggling to get in my minimum protein that people think surgery is the easy way out. They have NO clue - and it's not their fault, they just don't have the experience or know anyone who has and has been honest about it. The hard work starts when real food enters the post-op world. When I go to the gym, I have time to eat a Greek yogurt (12 grams protein) because it takes me an hour or so to down a protein shake and I don't have that kind of time. When I get home I shower and blah, blah, blah and by the time I eat again, I'm already behind the 8-ball. I'm figuring it out, though... little-by-little.
The next hurdle is vacation next month. Just being at the supermarket last weekend with the Halloween candy out, I was reminded of the fudge, salt water taffy, funnel cake/funnel fries, pizza, burgers.... you know how it is. I mean, how many people go on vacation without food playing a fairly major role? C'mon... be serious!! I'll definitely be having a long conversation with my dietitian! I'll be packing my Magic Bullet so I can make protein shakes and some protein bars for when we're out and about. I also think we'll pick up some Egg Beaters and string cheese sticks to have on hand for a 6 g protein fix. From someone who isn't a big fan of cheese, I'm shocked at how much I'm eating - Weight Watchers brand makes a smoked mozzarella string cheese and they are pretty stinkin' good. The plain ones were really hard to get down.
Ok, so, if you've kept up with the blog, you've seen the restrictions. I've worked to darn hard to screw this up. What do you think would be the most difficult thing for you? I know I've offered up plenty of opinions and shared a lot of my story. But, how would you handle this? I venture to say that you'd be able to do more than you ever thought possible. Don't for one minute, though, ever tell anyone who is considering or has had bariatric surgery that it's the easy way out. There's no cheating if you want to succeed. No "one Skinny Cow candy bar is fine," "I can have just one chip and it'll be ok because I can stop there" or "one bowl of pasta won't hurt" - NO! WRONG! This is hard work. Just ask anyone who has been around me and sees what I eat and how I eat. HARD WORK!
I know there are some reading this blog who are considering the surgery. I do not discuss the difficult things to dissuade you from having the operation (whichever one you and your doctor deem appropriate with the greatest opportunity for success). I just want you to go into it with your eyes open. It is one of the major reasons I'm putting myself out there. Also, maybe you know someone who is going to have one of the bariatric surgeries. You need to know what they'll be going through. You need to know how to support and encourage them. You will be a vital part of their success.
On an unrelated note, this year I have begun a very small "business" as an independent consultant for a direct sales company. I have gained some confidence, both with the ability to wear something that doesn't look like a tent, and having positive feedback from what I've done with this. Being on disability, I'm not able to do a lot, but this allows me to set my own schedule and have parties when I feel well enough, do Facebook parties, and even have hostesses who opt for catalog parties. It can be really stressful sometimes and that's hard on me emotionally, but when something goes well and I can help someone achieve one of her goals, it's certainly heart-warming.
How can I help you? What questions can I answer? What support can I offer you or a friend? Please don't hesitate for one minute to ask. I mean, if I've posted that awful 310 lb picture, I'm willing to discuss "almost" anything. I want to help, encourage, support and celebrate your experience!
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
General Musings...
First off, a grand HELLO to all of you and please know that I feel blessed you have taken time out of your day to hear my musings. So, let's get started!
I know this isn't new, but it is a self-esteem buster if ever I knew one. Plus size. You know the term. It's the size given to those clothes that are just too big to don mannequins. It's a term whose definition has changed over the years. It's a size I've worn for a long time (read: decades). When I got married at 135 lbs on my 5'5" frame I was wearing "those" clothes. There's something humiliating about the term. It indicates that you have "plus" what society says you ought to. Should it affect self-esteem or be humiliating? Of course not. If you're totally confident with your body, then no, you should have absolutely no problem walking into Lane Bryant and coming out with a bag - not responding to the looks and comments by telling others you are buying something "for a friend" or "as a gift."
I've been shopping the "fat" stores for... well... pretty much my entire life. Years and years ago, I plumped up to a size larger than what they have in stores. An aside: don't you love the terms people use to be PC about someone who's fat? Plump. Heavy. Overweight. Put on a few extra pounds. Big girl. There are too many of them to count. Ok, back to my original thought. A couple of days ago, I was talking with a very dear friend of mine. She lives several hours away from me so she sent a picture of herself to me wearing an outfit she needed for an event. She's a stay-at-home-Mom of a toddler (she has a wonderful blog) and has no clothes for professional meetings. We got into a discussion about how absurd it is for these stores touting themselves as being for a "Woman" (I think of one store with this as part of their name) start their sizes at 12. 12!
Not to beat a dead horse, but I was a 12/14 at 135 lbs. You had to know that I'd add a wedding picture! I felt the most beautiful at our wedding! It also gives a touch of my Disney side - we entered our reception with these guys on our heads. Hubby's is a bit hard to see but it's a top hap with ears. The picture on the right is from our honeymoon (in Disney, specifically the Yacht Club) and gives a slightly better view of my bod back in 1995.
I have probably said (a zillion times) how I've struggled with weight my entire life. Doctors said needed to lose weight. The famous "charts" showed me as overweight. Has anyone ever actually seen these charts? I did Weight Watchers and Nutri-System with my Mom. She was doing what she thought best from what the doctors had told her. She is a smart woman, an RN, but weight issues aren't her area of expertise. The term "childhood obesity" wasn't used back then. I was "heavier" than most people/girls in my grade, so I was automatically labeled "the fat kid." I look at pictures from my childhood and would just about kill for that body (even if I could go back to that age and look the same). I was no Kate Moss, I was no model, I had a burger and milkshake sometimes Gosh, do you think everyone and their uncle calling me overweight affected my self-esteem? It couldn't possibly be contributing to my food and weight issues today, could it? I get angry every time I think about it!
Whoa, I am getting distracted more than usual today. Now back to my friend. She is in between the "regular" stores and the "fat" ones. How is it that the size 12 girl (to be clear I do not know what size my friend is) can't just walk into any store she desires to find clothes? Is it necessary to send her into the abyss that is the "fat" store? Fortunately my friend isn't embarrassed by this. Fortunately my friend found something to wear. Gone are the days of "fatties" wearing a muumuu, thankfully. That doesn't make it ok to force a size 12 to enter a store that caters to size 26... Yes, I do realize that stores have "plus size" areas, some stores do carry size 12 as well as a size 2, and that I'm making generalizations. Before anyone reams me about this, I'm trying to make a point!
The entire population of the world has, no doubt, heard the stats about Marilyn Monroe being what is considered certainly what today's standards consider "Hollywood" worthy. See this article from the files of snopes.com. Conversely we have the beloved Barbie. I found multiple sites I'd like to link to. The first is titled "Barbie as a real woman is anatomically impossible and would have to walk on all fours, chart shows " The second, The 'average' doll v Barbie (from BBC NEWS MAGAZINE MONITOR), shows what "real life" dolls would appear with Barbie's measurements. The final link I want to share is this one, which I find impressive, dare I saw inspiring. You'll have to click on it to see what I'm talking about.
I know this isn't new, but it is a self-esteem buster if ever I knew one. Plus size. You know the term. It's the size given to those clothes that are just too big to don mannequins. It's a term whose definition has changed over the years. It's a size I've worn for a long time (read: decades). When I got married at 135 lbs on my 5'5" frame I was wearing "those" clothes. There's something humiliating about the term. It indicates that you have "plus" what society says you ought to. Should it affect self-esteem or be humiliating? Of course not. If you're totally confident with your body, then no, you should have absolutely no problem walking into Lane Bryant and coming out with a bag - not responding to the looks and comments by telling others you are buying something "for a friend" or "as a gift."
I've been shopping the "fat" stores for... well... pretty much my entire life. Years and years ago, I plumped up to a size larger than what they have in stores. An aside: don't you love the terms people use to be PC about someone who's fat? Plump. Heavy. Overweight. Put on a few extra pounds. Big girl. There are too many of them to count. Ok, back to my original thought. A couple of days ago, I was talking with a very dear friend of mine. She lives several hours away from me so she sent a picture of herself to me wearing an outfit she needed for an event. She's a stay-at-home-Mom of a toddler (she has a wonderful blog) and has no clothes for professional meetings. We got into a discussion about how absurd it is for these stores touting themselves as being for a "Woman" (I think of one store with this as part of their name) start their sizes at 12. 12!
Not to beat a dead horse, but I was a 12/14 at 135 lbs. You had to know that I'd add a wedding picture! I felt the most beautiful at our wedding! It also gives a touch of my Disney side - we entered our reception with these guys on our heads. Hubby's is a bit hard to see but it's a top hap with ears. The picture on the right is from our honeymoon (in Disney, specifically the Yacht Club) and gives a slightly better view of my bod back in 1995.
I have probably said (a zillion times) how I've struggled with weight my entire life. Doctors said needed to lose weight. The famous "charts" showed me as overweight. Has anyone ever actually seen these charts? I did Weight Watchers and Nutri-System with my Mom. She was doing what she thought best from what the doctors had told her. She is a smart woman, an RN, but weight issues aren't her area of expertise. The term "childhood obesity" wasn't used back then. I was "heavier" than most people/girls in my grade, so I was automatically labeled "the fat kid." I look at pictures from my childhood and would just about kill for that body (even if I could go back to that age and look the same). I was no Kate Moss, I was no model, I had a burger and milkshake sometimes Gosh, do you think everyone and their uncle calling me overweight affected my self-esteem? It couldn't possibly be contributing to my food and weight issues today, could it? I get angry every time I think about it!
Whoa, I am getting distracted more than usual today. Now back to my friend. She is in between the "regular" stores and the "fat" ones. How is it that the size 12 girl (to be clear I do not know what size my friend is) can't just walk into any store she desires to find clothes? Is it necessary to send her into the abyss that is the "fat" store? Fortunately my friend isn't embarrassed by this. Fortunately my friend found something to wear. Gone are the days of "fatties" wearing a muumuu, thankfully. That doesn't make it ok to force a size 12 to enter a store that caters to size 26... Yes, I do realize that stores have "plus size" areas, some stores do carry size 12 as well as a size 2, and that I'm making generalizations. Before anyone reams me about this, I'm trying to make a point!
The entire population of the world has, no doubt, heard the stats about Marilyn Monroe being what is considered certainly what today's standards consider "Hollywood" worthy. See this article from the files of snopes.com. Conversely we have the beloved Barbie. I found multiple sites I'd like to link to. The first is titled "Barbie as a real woman is anatomically impossible and would have to walk on all fours, chart shows " The second, The 'average' doll v Barbie (from BBC NEWS MAGAZINE MONITOR), shows what "real life" dolls would appear with Barbie's measurements. The final link I want to share is this one, which I find impressive, dare I saw inspiring. You'll have to click on it to see what I'm talking about.
While it is discussed in most references to these stats, I would be remiss if forgetting to mention the way Barbie affects women, specifically as it relates to eating disorders. The articles above will touch on this and I think it would be wise to take heed to this and apply the positive implications it offers to the girls in your life. Start early!
Shockingly I got side-tracked... again... Maybe the best thing for me to do is to let you ponder all of this. How does the term "plus size" affect you? Do you find it embarrassing to buy clothes at stores advertising that they sell "fat" clothes, if you do fall into that category? What are your feelings about using "fat" and "fatty?" Do you stare at people who are obese, maybe thinking that you're better than... that at least you aren't "that" size? How do you feel about women, such as myself, who have to shop via catalog, no longer fitting into the "Woman" stores?
Please, share your opinions. Start discussions. Think!
As an added after-comment: I have no idea whatsoever how to get rid of the few lines with a white background. I've spent a ton of time working on it. Rather than let it drive me even more insane, I'm going to (try to) go with it. Apologies.
As an added after-comment: I have no idea whatsoever how to get rid of the few lines with a white background. I've spent a ton of time working on it. Rather than let it drive me even more insane, I'm going to (try to) go with it. Apologies.
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