A site for May Day, an effort of poets from Winnipeg and beyond, taking place for the eleventh time in May 2015.
i like the sentiment behind this even more than the actual words/structurei will think on it some more and look for concrete comments - what are you looking for in particular?
you know, i am a bit ambivalent about this myself. maybe it's not salvageable?
I would lift the tablets of your laws but they are so heavy so dulleven the crows -the crows, who feast on corpses - refuse them
I think the tongue gets a bit stuck in the S's of corpse line.
hm yeh maybe replacing "feast" would do it (feed, pick at)
I miss Jonathan's crows. Maybe you only needed half a dozen?I'm going to have to write my crow story tonight, May is almost over.
Post a Comment
6 comments:
i like the sentiment behind this even more than the actual words/structure
i will think on it some more and look for concrete comments - what are you looking for in particular?
you know, i am a bit ambivalent about this myself. maybe it's not salvageable?
I would lift the tablets of your laws
but they are so heavy
so dull
even the crows
-the crows, who feast on corpses -
refuse them
I think the tongue gets a bit stuck in the S's of corpse line.
hm yeh maybe replacing "feast" would do it (feed, pick at)
I miss Jonathan's crows. Maybe you only needed half a dozen?
I'm going to have to write my crow story tonight, May is almost over.
Post a Comment