Hmmmm...

As I sit here reading other people's blogs I thought maybe it was time to update my own...

A few things:
After spending the majority of last week and this week with Evan, I realize he has some habits that drive me crazy! Is that bad news? I hope not. Sometimes he does things just to annoy me. I don't know what that is about, but I certainly did call him on it on Friday night. It was like everything I said/did he knew more, better, etc. and I was getting sick of it. I think I can deal w/these habits, it just drives me crazy sometimes. He had to go home this evening because his vacation ends tomorrow. He has to work from 9-9 and then he says he is coming back here for New Years. I don't want him to do all that driving if he is too tired, but you know, he'll do it anyway. I love seeing him so it's okay.

This weekend was "THE BIG PARTY." Saturday from 12-4 we had the open house. I would say about 150-200 people showed up. It was really nice to see the people who my dad has worked with over 32 years and people my mom has worked with for 30 years and people they have both known over the 35 year course of their marriage. The open house turned out really good. My mom, aunt Cheryl, & aunt Tammy made all the food and it was PHENOMENAL!! If we were having a smaller wedding, I'd just have them cater it. It was that good. Then Saturday night about 24 of us met at the Iron Skillet and had a very nice sit down dinner that included a reacreation of my parents wedding cake. Most of the people at the dinner were in the wedding or were family members. The kids stayed at our house w/Mrs. Brenda (from preschool) and Emma & Wil were heathens, as always. But it was very nice. Everyone was exhausted last night. I've been looking forward to this party forever (almost more then Christmas) because I love having our house full of people. Staying here were Marty & Carol (who, btw, flight was delayed 2 hours, they go to Indy at 2am and guess who picked them up & then didn't get to sleep til 4?), Mark, Cheryl, Josh & Jade, and Evan. It was really fun and Im glad everyone is coming over tomorrow night for New Years Eve. We haven't had a nice sized crowd for New Years in awhile. It will be fun.

I still havent finished blankets for Mark or Evan and I still haven't received Maci's other Christmas present in the mail. It was supposed to be here on the 22nd. I'll have to call tomorrow and see what the deal is. I really don't want to go back to work. Just like I didn't last week. But more then that, I do NOT want to go back to school. It's been so nice to be able to eat dinner with my family and not be tired 100% of the time. But at least I have off until 7th.

This next weekend is Jeremy & Becca's Wedding!!! Im so excited. I was hoping Evan could go but he has to work not to mention he has to get off early on the 9th (for our tasting at JB's) and another exciting event to be mentioned in just a second. I know everything is going to be beautiful and they make such a nice couple. It's just gonna suck going to a wedding with only my parents, but oh well. I need to find out where they are registered so I can get them a gift.

More exciting news! Evan passed the written exam given by the Indiana State Police!! There were 6400 people that took the exam and they took only 250 from that group and they will take 120 new officers in the next class. So already he has cleared a big hurdle. His oral interview will be on the 10th in Indy. Im so excited for him! I just want him to get a police job. The only problem/issue is that with the state police they do their training in Plainfield and require that all students live on the campus! WTF? Get this. If he gets into this class, graduation will be in November of 2008. Thats a month after we get married which means that for the first month we are married (well 2 months since we are getting married at the beginning of October) we won't live together! We will only see each other on F/Sa./Su. SUCK! Thats gonna be fun. Maybe I won't even need to move out of my parents house. Seriously. Cause there are not apartments that rent for 8 weeks adn we couldn't sign a lease because they will assign him after graduation and if we aren't living in Indy, then we'd have to pay to break the lease. Not to mention moving everything in and out in a 8 week span. I don't know what we are gonna do. I guess we'll figure it out the closer we get to that time. He really wants to work for IMPD, but if he gets a conditional offer from ISP in May, then that is what he is taking. We talked about that he could try again for IMPD after he had been w/ISP for a year. We'll see.

Okay, I know there is more, but I can barely keep my eyes open. More later!

PS: Oh yeah! We added Jade as flower girl 3 and Josh as the junior grooms man. They will be great!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Merry Christmas!!

I am typing this entry on my new LAPTOP!!! Holy heck! I did so well this Christmas. Good grief. Evan's family went above & beyond. Here's the rundown

Dennis & Ziaga (his dad & stepmom)
Dooney & Bourke purse
Avica watch
Bath & Body Works Wild Honesuckle body wash, lotion, & spray
Victoria's Secret 6 mini body sprays

Lindsey & David (his sister & her fiancee)
Bath & Body Works Fresh Vanilla spray & body wash
Victoria's Secret 4 mini Angels perfumes
Purple micro-fleece blanket
2 pairs of froggy socks

Becky (his mom)
$100 (WHAT!?)
A mini frog figurine
A big frog figurine
Stocking Stuffers: sour straws, sour gummi Life Savers, a body pouf, tea light candles, a purple/black/silver necklace
An oil/candle diffuser w/wild honeysuckle fragrance
A froggy desk calendar
Victoria's Secret Little Flirt bubble bath

Evan
A sapphire & diamond heart necklace
JLO Live perfume
The complete boxed set of Harry Potter books (hard back books 1-7 in a Hogwarts Trunk)
Harry Potter 5 dvd

My mom & dad
This HP Laptop
HP5
HP books 3 & 4
A Bath & Body Works "Softest Robe in the World" and it is, it's like micro-fleece and phenomenal!
3 sweaters
Pirates of the Caribbean 4
5 books, cooking, cleaning, anatomy and froggy

It was obviously a good Christmas.

So I really thought we had a wireless router in the house but Evan says he doesnt think so cause the only place we can pick up the internet (with a laptop) is in the living room. And then we pick up like 5 different interent connectors from around the neighborhood. Oops. He'll have to check that out when he comes back on Friday. He's currently over on the couch trying to go back to sleep..LOL..I surely did stay up til 3:30 AM watching the new HP movie on my laptop. It was just as good as I remembered. Now I just need to clean my room so I can display all my stuff.

This weekend is my parents 35th anniversary party/open house. The open house is at the clubhouse in my neighborhood and the formal dinner is at the Iron Skillet (which doesn't seem very formal to me, but I didn't pick it out so that is that.) Then I have next week off from IBC but I still have to go into work. Kind of like today, although this week my schedule is drastically shortened. I work today 2-6, tomorrow 8-12, and friday 6-10. That way I have time to spend with everyone coming in from out of town and w/Evan. We are supposed to pick up Spin & Marty Friday night when they get back from Vegas. Yeah, they went to Vegas for their honeymoon over the week of Christmas. Neat.

Okay, thats all for now. More later when we get this internet thing figured out and I can used the damn computer in my room.

It's Beginning to Look A lot like Christmas

Oh I should be studying for a final I have in 2.5 hours..But I really don't feel like it. I FINALLY feel good about all my classes. I passed my Basic Insurance Competencies, all of my Clinicals, and only have 2 papers left to BS, I mean do for Communications. I also rigged my schedule so I have at least 3 classes so Im not a quarter behind for graduation. School in general still sucks, but at least after tomorrow, I have 3 weeks off. Im not gonna know what to do with all that free time. Hopefully the "boss" lets me work some serious hours. If not, we may have to throw down.

What else? Wedding wise nothing is really happening right now. We (my mom, Angel,and I) are going to a bridal show on the 6th of January, hopefully we'll get some flower/cake/invitation/bridesmaid dresses ideas. We are scheduled to attend a tasting at JB's on the 9th of January (Evan, my parents, & myself) and I think we have to pick out our wedding cake that day. We'll see how that goes too. My dress should be in sometime in February and I know we need to order invitations and OBVIOUSLY the girls dresses and make sure Kristi is on schedule for making the junior bridemaid & flower girls dresses. I still haven't settled on colors..Surprise..I really like the burnt orange, but Im also a big fan of chocolate brown & ivory and a deep wine/berry color (since my favorite color is purple). Evan said he doesn't care (yet another huge surprise) and he'd be fine w/anything. My mom wanted him to go to the bridal show and I was like "yeah, that'll work, it's a BRIDAL show, on a Sunday during the NFL playoffs." Probabley not. So thats that, basically (trying) to focus on Christmas and my parents big anniversary celebration. That will be so much fun!

In other news..My cousin Grant is engaged. He is getting married on August 18, 2008. Now lets chat about this for just a quick second. When we went to the Heidorn family reunion the first weekend in December, I asked when the wedding date was & Grant's mom (aunt Chris) told me it was 08-18-08. No big deal, but later my mom was asking details about it & she said "none of YOU are invited." WTF?!!?!?!? Why? My mom and her brother aren't EXTREMELY close, but they have never had a falling out. Why would her (the bride, Sandy) family be invited but not us? What kind of sense does that make. And the 4 year old in me says "well if you aren't inviting us to his wedding you can't come to mine." Well coincedently, the 18th of August in 2008 is a....MONDAY!!! So no one wil be able to go. I don't know what the deal is. I understand about having a small wedding if you want to, but to not invite even immediate family? Maybe not even cousins, but at least aunts & uncles? I don't know. It just seems fishy.
In other family news, Carol & Marty's wedding is this Saturday. It's honky-tonk. Let me explain. They are getting married at 10:30AM..Okay, no big deal. But it's like they were going to jeans & t-shirts until we convinced them otherwise. Not to mention the reception? At the SHONEYS in JASPER!! WOOT WOOT!! Bring it on! I bet we have to pay for our own meal and everything. I think they are having the dessert bar as their wedding cake. I made her buy a new, pretty outfit for the wedding and told her she at least needed to have a bouquet. I figured, no matter what the scenario, a wedding is a wedding. ANd it's not like it's her 15th. Her husband passed away in February of 2005 and she is getting remarried and she's very in love and he treats her well so we might as well celebrate it. So Im making her a bouquet which I keep forgetting about and we are going down Saturday..The one maybe major glitch in the plan is that the weather people are forecasting a "Nor'Easter" for our area on Saturday, including ice & snow accumulation. If that occurs, we won't be able to travel to the wedding (which does kind of suck, even though it's hokey). I don't want ANY snow or ice unless it's enough to close Wayne Township Schools. I won't have to work if they are off from school. Now, what happens if we have a lot of snow while Wayne township is on break? I don't know. But anyway, that wedding is this weekend. I do hope this Nor'Easter skips us. It's been HORRIBLE out in Oklahoma and other parts of the midwest.

Okay, my arm is starting to hurt cause there aren't any supports on these stupid computer desks at school. I think Im going to start listing prayer requests at the bottom of my entry for anyone who wants to leave any or emails them to me. Also, just a random FYI, there are 4 marriages in my family in the next year.
12-15-07 Aunt Carol & Marty
05-31-08 Megan & Tim
08-18-08 Grant & Sandy
10-04-08 Evan & I
EXCITING!!




Prayer Requests:
1. Those affected by the ice storms in the midwest
2. The presidential race
3. Safety at preschool and church
4. Evan's ISP test(s)
5. Finals this week at IBC

Quickly, because I hate everything

Basically..as of now, life blows.

1. Financial aid changed mid-quarter and I didn't know about it. So instead of paying $80/month I now owe $481 a month! Nice, and since I didn't know, I owe the school $1203 but January 7th. Oh, and that will be my price per month til I graduate cause I made about $19,000 last year have no illigitimate children & am not married. Good plan, punish the person who is doing the right thing.
2. Classes I need to graduate aren't being offered in the evening next quarter. Such as Clin2, Patho, Pharmacology & Lab. Neat.
3. Work is wobbly. Well people I work with are, and this morning I came in to find teh preschool and church ransacked/robbed/broken into etc. Neat.

So basically, it's been a meltdown type of week. Literally, after I met with financial aid last week, I spaced out in Comm. class. Angel said "umm you just weren't there." And I wasn't, I dont' remember much of Comm. class, so thats good news.

I went to financial aid (<--oxymoron) today and had to pay $450 of the $1203 and my parents offered to pay the rest but Im SOL on the monthly payments. I told Evan I'll be living REAL lean until we get married. So yay for having NO money. LOVE IT!!

Okay, Im going now cause looking at all this depresses me even more. More when I have good (better) news.

Oh Gracious

So here I am back at school..Posting when I should be studying..What else is new? So I ended up missing a full 7 days of work and 4 days of school and I am SOOOOO behind!! It's insane. The only good thing is that in my clin 1 teacher has also been sick and so we can turn our work in late w/out it being counted down. The bad thing is I haven't been working on ANY of my papers for Comm 101 and Im behind like 8 things. Now granted they aren't hard, I just don't want to do them. So Im gonna talk to the teacher tomorrow and ask if I can have everything turned in by next Tuesday ( I would say Thursday but thats Thanksgiving=no class). Hopefully he says yes cause if not Im screwed!! YAY!! So we'll see how that goes.

On the preschool front. Things are going okay. The new director is having a little trouble being a self-starter as in sometimes she doesn't pull her weight, but my mom is talking to her about that so hopefully that changes. Im still not 100% on her. She's nice, but I don't feel like she has the shoulders to take on all the craziness that is the preschool. She seems kind of, I don't know. I can't really put my finger on it. One day things seem really great & another day things really suck. Last weekend my mom & I got into it as I was leaving for work and I basically had a meltdown at work because she confronted me there. I confronted her right back. Hollering ensued. But we worked things out at least for now. We have decided to close on Friday because of the Thanksgiving holiday. Now let me point out a few things that bother me here. We had 3 families sign up to be at PS on Friday. Last Friday one of them opted out saying they wouldn't need us after all. The other two families were ADAMANT that we HAD to be open because they would have NO WHERE else to put their children if they weren't there. Okay, fine. I asked for that day off before I got sick so I volunteered to come in that day to make up hours. Now theoretically, we go down the totem pole of people that have to be there on holidays. It should've been the 2 newest people and we know who they are. Well those 2 people had already "announced" that they would NOT be bringing their child that day nor would they be working it. NICE. So it was my mom & I working the holiday (what else is new?) So then, last Friday evening, one of the students on the list is being picked up and his mom says "Well if my boys are the only ones on the list, we have some place to put them." WHAT!??!? If you have some place to put them, why did you put them on the damn list in the first place? What kind of sense does that make? Then the other student on the list told me the same thing. Well sorry folks, don't change your mind, we are CLOSED Friday. Just dumb. I got to leave at 9AM today because we only had 19 kids & 6 staff members and so I came to school and studied. I've gotten some stuff done, but I still need to write those damn papers. Ugh. Oh well only 3 days of work & school this week.

Wedding wise: We visited the florist on Tuesday and picked the flowers which now I want to completely change, of course. We chose to go w/all roses and now I think I want to add mango & yellow cala lillies to the mix. Here are the original choices, my favorite are the hocus pocus http://www.equiflor.com/flower_catalog.aspx (scroll down to about the middle of the page, then we chose Leonidas (scroll down to almost teh end of the page), and Orange Circus which they dont have a picture of but are a dark/bright orange color. All are VERY gorgeous but the more I thought about it the more I dont think the Hocus Pocus will work because of the red. I think we will stick w/the Leonidas, change HP to Tressor or Gold Strike, & keep the Circus. I think the cala lillies will really add something to the roses. All of the bouquets/corsages/bouteniors will also have fall leaves incorporated. We decided that the girls will carry a 24 stem bouquet and I will carry a 36 stem bouquet while Gabby will carry a 6 stem bouquet and the flower girls will have decorated baskets w/the leaves in them. We are having a memorial candle w/bouquet made for the organ (to honor grandparents that had passed) and a unity candle bouquet that will be made out of silk flowers but will match the real ones (that way we can keep it & have it as a centpiece somewhere in our house). We still haven't gotten the bridesmaids together, I was hoping to do that on December 1st, but I haven't gotten out the emails and I don't know if it is now too short of a notice. I will have to get on that ASAP. We are going to a tasting at JB's on 01-09-08 to choose our menu & our cake! Im excited! There is also a bridal show on 01-05 to 01-06 downtown, but we can't go on 01-05 because that is Becca & Jeremy's Wedding!! YAY!! Hopefully we can go on the 6th, if not, there is another one in February. I didn't realize how much more there is to do. Such as, tuxes, bridesmaids, flowergirls, readings, music, dj, more music, rehearsal dinner, shoes, honeymoon, places for out of town guests to stay, etc. Goodness

Everything else seems to be going well. The weather has FINALLY turned chilly and it feels like winter, although I can't believe it's almost Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, and I can't believe I turned 25 yesterday!!! It was really good birthday. On Friday the teachers surprised me w/a beautiful cake & then yesterday Evan came to church and the kids sang up front and then Mrs. Brenda pulled me up and made everyone sing to me. I was SO embarrassed. My parents were in Tennesee for my birthday (they left Wednesday afternoon) and they sent beautiful pink roses for the front of the church. They are also getting me a pair of boots & a drum roll please DIGITAL CAMERA!!! I am so freaking excited!! Evan also did very well in the presents department, he is getting me a froggy ULTRASCOPE and he got me Shrek 3!! It was a great birthday!!

Okay thats all for now..Love Love Love

No time..

I was gonna write a big long update, but I waited and now I have to go to class in 20 minutes..Maybe I can get a little bit in.

1. As you may have noticed by the ticker we have changed the wedding date back to the original 10-04-08. Because...Evan failed the IMPD exam...He missed the run by 35 seconds..So he doesn't start the academy anytime soon. Im still proud of him because I never could have done all that physical stuff, but if he doesn't get accepted by the state police (he takes the written exam on 12-07) then the physical for the next round of IMPD is 09-28-08 the day after our wedding and we figured that would be too exhausting and there was really no way he could do very well. So we are back to 10-04-08 which of course make me really happy!
2. The Colts (esp. Adam Vinatieri) suck! They lost last week to the Patriots (expected) and last night AGAIN to the Chargers (unexpected, at least by me). I have not been a Vinatieri fan since he missed a field goal in the Super Bowl. So I wasn't surprised when he missed THREE last night (including what would have been the game winner). But all in all, the Colts have not played like a Super Bowl team for the last 2 weeks and deserved to loose..

Okay, I'll add more to this later cause I must go to class and some nosey person is reading over my shoulder..

Out of bed for a moment

Flu, bronchitis, a sinus infection=very little blogging, no work or school til at least Friday (I've been off since LAST Friday)
Colts Loose to the Patriots
Ballard wins the mayoral race
IMPD will return to control under the mayor
Evan got his letter and has the IMPD physical exam this Friday

Excitement, but sickness prevails.

More on these and other stories when I am back on my feet.

Back to bed I go.

Thoughts etc..

Man the wedding date seems so far away..I mean I know everyone says it will just "fly by" but it seems to be taking forever and that little ticker doesn't help..LOL..Oh well

We've decided on a reception venue..Im okay w/it cause it's a good price. Jonathan Byrd's Cafeteria Ballroom. We went to a friend of the family's wedding in September & her reception was there and it was really nice. The only downside? NO alcohol!!! The guy in charge told us that they do have their liquor license and may begin offering alcohol or bar service before the wedding next year but I don't count on it, so that kind of sucks. We'll just have to get blitzed in the limo on the way to the reception. I've already told Evan to be gentle w/the garter removal so as not to knock off my hip flask I'll be sporting. Anyway, it's a really nice place, includes a dance floor, the wedding cake, a buffet meal (2 entree's 5 sides and drinks) and it's only like $8000? Maybe less. The other places we looked (The Children's Museum & The Rathskellar) we're prob. $10,000 at the CHEAPEST!! So JB's it is.

On a non-wedding note. Today was the preschool Halloween party. We only had 2 families not read the notice & send their kids w/o costumes but we got that remedied. Everyone (well most the kids) were adorable. My babies were 2 bumblebees, 1 ladybug, 1 jammy girl. My Moo-Moo was the most adorable..Of course Im not biased. My GiGi was Batman (she's obesessed w/superheros, Batman, Spiderman, you name it she wants to be it, no princesses or any of that crap there. It's gonna be fun getting her to wear the flower girl dress for the wedding). I was the only teacher that dressed up, as always, and I wore my scrubs and my brand spankin new stethescope (commonly known on the "inside" as thermostat). I was so proud and it was a good thing I had it because.....TiTi showed up sick to school today. Her mom said she got sick (vomited) in the car but it was because she was so upset she puked (she didn't want to get into the car seat cause she had to take her wings off). Well, during the time when the kids got to hit the pinata (oh yes, we gave preschoolers free reign w/a nerf bat) she was very laid back and acted tired and felt warm. Well I thought I felt some gassiness cause she was sitting on my lap & after the party when we went to chang the kids (out of costumes for lunch, nap, & afternoon activities) *nastiness alert* dirrhea everywhere. Poor baby! You could tell she didn't feel good. So since her mom works at PS I told her what was going on and we changed her and she took her to have some lunch. When the rest of my class got in there, I noticed TiTi was kind of looking sick and no sooner did I start to walk over did she vomit all over herself. So her mom said she was gonna take her home and go to the doctor. Well mom called the PS and told them that the poor thing has a viral infection and will *hopefully* be back on Thursday. I don't want that sickness. But I needed my stethescope to listen to her bowels (active, obviously) and her chest to make sure there wasn't any congestion. But all in all the party was really good, the kids were really cute & really seemed to enjoy themselves.

On another illness note, my mom has THE FLU (which I told her she had, based on her symptoms, TEN DAYS AGO!!) and possibly MONO!! She'll get the test results back tomorrow morning. She's been sick as a dog for the last 2-3 weeks and hasn't done anything about it. So when I got home from class Thursday night she was laying on the couch and pretty much parked it there or in bed for the majority of the weekend and hasn't really been out since then. Hopefully she stays home til she's recovered.

Im at school and IT IS FREEEEEEZING!! Why do they keep the school at -50? Seriously, I have on like 3 layers and there's still a breeze!!

Ugh, this is long enough. The lady next to me is blabbing about how terrible the police are and Im gonna loose it if I don't get out of here.

A little green..

I just found out that an old (now ex) friend of mine from high school is expecting her second child & Im kind of jealous cause I want a baby so bad! And because my baby would have been 4 this year and I miss her all the time. She was such a shithead in high school and doesn't deserve to be happy. I know, how hateful is that?! I can't help it, she was a hot mess and burned all her bridges. Her baby daddy is u-g-l-y. But what do I know? I'd really rather be married and happy w/babies then w/randoms. I don't know..I just had an envious moment.

A good day!!

COLTS ARE 7-0!!! They were SOOOO bad during the first half..I had almost lost hope..But they are really good at regrouping during half time and pulled it out. It was so good. Im nervous about the Colts/Patriots game next Sunday. I think the Colts can do it, but it's gonna be tough. Anyway, Im so proud!!

So today on the way home from church Evan calls and tells me he got me something and to keep my shoes on if I get home before he gets there. So I get there and he's already there & Im thinking, OMG, he got himself a dog and we are taking it for a walk. (We have been talking about getting a dog because he is moving to his own place). Nope, he wanted me to keep my shoes on so I could walk over to his car. In the front seat is a little bear holding a box. He definitely got me DIAMOND earrings!!! OMG!! They are so beautiful and he is so wonderful. It's not even a special occasion. I've never had a guy spoil me like this. It was so awesome!! He makes me feel so special!!

Anyway, thats all for now..I need to head to bed. More later. :)

Oh so many things...

Goodness..Here we go..
1. Last weekend my mom took engagement pictures of Evan & I for our save the date cards and to announce our engagement. They all were really good, she should go professional. We took over 100 pictures and they were all free! Yay! So anyway, we went to Sam's Club to get them developed and make the announcements (well my mom & I did) and while we were waiting for them to fix the machines (which never happened and we didn't end up getting any, DAMMIT) and they have really nice wedding bands there so I was trying some on (diamond ones) and my engagement ring looked really dirty next to the bands, so I asked her if I could use the jewelry cleaner and then try them on. It still looked dirty. So I called Evan and asked him to be totally truthful to me and where did he get the ring (Ebay) and how much did he pay for it ($$$$) and he was. So I went back over to the lady and asked her to test the ring..It was defn. glass on sterling silver not any kind of diamonds or platinum. I was SO upset! Not about the fact that it was fake, but the fact that Evan got scammed so bad! So I called him & told him what happened and he told me to meet him @ Castleton and we were going to get a new ring. So we did & I did. It is GORGEOUS!! It's (almost) 1 carat round brilliant cut, E color VVS clarity, beautiful! He was so wonderful about the whole thing. He was not leaving til I had a new ring. And we got my wedding band, also gorgeous. Sapphire & Diamond on white gold. Can't wait to wear it. He's had her marked on Ebay and she told him (the seller) that she will refund all of his money.
2. Did I mention I got my dress? If not, Im not gonna go into big details in case someone I know or that knows Evan reads this & tells him. But it is very pretty, more princessey then I thought and I got my veil & headpiece. It's lovely. Im not 100% sold on it though,. I felt like i was rushed into it, I just need to see it when it fits. You know they make dresses in sample sizes, 4,6,8,10 and SOMETIMES 12. Not to mention that wedding gowns are made 2-4 sizes too small or smaller then what you wear in real life. So those 47lbs I lost meant shit at the bridal salon. I felt so HUGE!! And they were so rude to us, like we weren't goo enough to be in the store. The only saving grace was the man that designed my gown happened to be in the store that day and went through the whole fitting with me. The dress was so small, and we had to order it in a huge size. Everyone tells me not to think about the size, but guess how much that helps? I still know what the size inside the dress is gonna say. And Im really worried that when I get it (in FEBRUARY) that it will be so huge I won't be able to picture it fitting. Ugh I just don't want to plan the wedding anymore..LOL!!
3. We visit a florist today, Kathy from Kathy's Kloset. She & my mom used to be good friends and she just did a wedding of a close friend of the family and the flowers were gorgeous! She had some really good ideas and we set an appointment for 3 weeks from now. I can't wait! We also visited Jonathan Byrds today and talked to the reception guy. It all sounds really good except that as of now there can't be any alcohol but that may change in a year. It's all inclusive, well basically. We provided decorations (if we want to) and a dj. They provide food, dance floor, cake, etc. It's really nice. But we are also looking into The Children's Museum, The Rathskellar, The Omni Severin, & IMCPL Downtown. But JB's is very nice.

Ugghhh..there's more but Im too tired right now..Colts game tomorrow!! GO HORSE!!

It's almost a ticker...

This is amazing..I didn't realize I had been to all these places..


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Oh for goodness sakes

This isn't even wedding related but I feel the need to blog....
Last night there was a teacher's meeting at my preschool which I thought I had to miss because of school. Well I talked to my teacher and she said it was fine to leave so I called my mom (who is also my boss) and asked her if I needed to be at the meeting (we were reviewing in class & even though I COULD miss class I didn't WANT to) she discussed w/me what she was going to talk about and I asked her if anything was going to change invovling MY students or MY class (cause umm those are things I need to have a say in). She said no, nothing except what she talked about. Okay so Im feeling fine about missing the meeting..Until 5:20AM this morning. I am getting ready to leave & she is upstairs eating breakfast as Im getting ready to walk out. I ask about the meeting, she says it was good, lasted 2 hours (yikes!), and that the discussion went pretty well. As Im about to leave she says "we're moving Jasmine out of your class and you will start having naptime in Mrs. Tammy's room." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!??!!?!?!? Jasmine is not ready to move out of my class and having them nap in a different place will mess up their nap schedules. Jasmine needs to be with me until she gets potty trained, but of course my mom thinks she knows better. So Im so upset Im shaking & almost in tears because she LIED to me & just drops this bomb. She was about to say something else but I told her I had to go. She had the audacity to act suprised when I was upset and told me "Im sorry your so upset." And I said "It's fine I'll get over it just like every otehr decision thats been made." How much of a coincedence is it that at the exact meeting I can't go to she make changes to my class!? That was really neat. Then when I get to work my room is trashed because one of the other teachers couldn't do a couple of SIMPLE things I asked her to do. I was in a pissy mood pretty much all day & I just talked to her & of course SHE didn't do anything wrong and blah blah blah. Sometimes I get so sick of her stuff. Anyway, that was basically my day & I feel better having blogged about it.


Wedding Stuff Ahead
We've picked colors, I may have mentioned this before, but since my brain is , here we go. They will be Persimmon as the main color (a burnt orange kind of look) like here http://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_detail.jsp?stid=2967&prodgroup=110 and apple as one of the accent colors (but not bright more of a dark red) like herehttp://davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_bycolor_detail.jsp?stid=2984&sid=15406&cfid=52 and a little bit of a green accent. It all looked really pretty when we looked at Davids last Saturday. I really don't like any of the dresses I see on the Davids website and I know they have more in the stores, but when we went to Posie Patch and I saw the Allure & Maggie Sottero etc dresses I LOVED every one of them. I just wanna skip Davids all together and head to Posie Patch but my mom says no. GRRR..I thought we weren't gonna be able to find a place to have the reception but so far I've received yes's from Jonathat Byrds, Primo West, Rathskellar, & IMCPL Downtown. Im excited to finally get a place reserved. Hopefully we'll go tour those facilities next weekend, since this weekend the goal is to find a dress. Im also planning on making sure I still like those colors together and in about 1-2 weeks sending out Bridesmaid Luncheon invitations. My idea is to have all the girls get together for lunch and then we'll head to (most likely) Davids and I'll tell them the main color and have them pick whatever dress they want as long as it is floor length. Maybe we'll do this over my birthday weekend because the holidays are coming up & they won't have time til January to get it done.

That is all for now..

Oh M y

Oh goodness I am in love w/ tickers..LOL.. I wanna post another wedding one, Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving..LOL..Im sure there'll be one when we decide when the Bridal Shower is...Anyway, so far I've only added my birthday countdown...

We are going dress shopping again today. Hopefully things aren't too crazy at the stores since we didn't make appointments. I think we are going to Davids & Bridal Superstore by Posie Patch. We are also gonna try and decide on colors today and look at some bridesmaids gowns to get an idea of if I want to do seperates or a dress that will look good on everyone. I found one the other day that I showed Angel and she said it would look really good on everybody, so we'll see. Im really leaning towards the main color either being chocolate brown or burn orange. I think both those would look good w/everyone's skin tone. Im sure we'll also go back to the Bridal Outlet and look at the original dress.

Thats all for now. Must go shower and meet my mom. I'll let you know how it goes. Oh, and it's finally fall here!! The temp. when I woke up was 38 and the high is only 60!! YAY!!

Oh wait, thats not all for now. I found out that when we want to have the wedding next year falls on Circle City Classic weekend which is a big deal here in Indy and everything will be at a premium price!!! I've already had 4 no's from reception venues because they are booked for receptions or CCC events. SUCK!! And, I don't know what the deal is w/the time here, but it usually says something way off so just FYI it's 9:13AM where I am:)

Truly Overwhelmed

So my mom & I went dress shopping on Monday after work. I didn't have school because of the holiday so it was nice and not crowded. I found one I LOVE but I don't want to have just one day of looking at dresses. I want to have the teary, weepy, mother-daughter moment. Ya know..Anyway, I stil can't get it together on colors. I am seeming to love a burnt orange as the main color more and more. I'll just have to see what the girls think. Also, I have had a change in the maid of honor..Well possibly. I saw Rachel last Friday and she was, lets say, less then excited about me getting married. I know everyone's life doesn't revovle around me getting married but I expected my "best friend" to want to know more then just "how much did the ring cost?" All we talked about was her divorce, her sex life, how terrible everything is, it kind of sucked. I mean, I know A LOT can change in a year, but right now, I just don't know if she's up for the task..Planning a shower, the bachelorette party, helping out with things..Who knows? So I asked my other best friend Angel to do the honor. Let me just give you an example, yesterday at school before I even said hi to her, Angel was asking about the wedding "have you gone dress shopping, have you picked colors, do you need any help?" etc. You get the picture. She just seems to want to be more involved and I would've asked her if I hadn't known Rachel longer and figured her response would be different. I was just hurt by her actions, or non-actions I guess. Anyway, thats that. We'll see what happens. Hopefully this Saturday my mom & I are going to shop til we drop and see if we can find me a dress and settle on the colors. I want to go to David's Bridal, Posie Patch, Bridal Superstore, and back to Bridal Outlet to see the original dress. These bridal dress seller ladies are INTENSE! They want you to buy the MOST expensive dress in the store and they didn't really listen when I said I didn't like something. I had to be ADAMANT about it. And some of the dresses are HORRIFIC!! It also makes one feel like a fat cow when ALL the dresses are made 2 sizes smaller then what a normal person wears. Thats pretty great.

So far I've
1. Reserved the church for October 4, 2008 at 5:00 PM (hopefully it won't be 900 degrees like it was last weekend and yesterday, I want FALL weather.)
2. Asked the minister that christened me in the same church to do the wedding
3. Figured out the bridal party one way or another
4. Asked Gigi & Boo Bears mom if she will make the flower girls and junior bridesmaid dresses. These dresses Im seeing online & in the stores are just way to RISQUE for girls that will be 6, 4, & 3. She is an AMAZING seamstress and will do a great job.
5. Decided I want my dress to be ivory/candlelight/champange since we are having a fall wedding, bright white will be too much not to mention the above colors look better w/my skin color and red hair

Thats basically all I've decided on. I need to quit my job and school to do this wedding full time!! LOL!! I wish I had more time to spend on it, but it will be okay. I have 3 weeks off from school at Christmas time and I can get a lot done then. I hope to have my wedding gown by then also. School is just kicking my butt, I had to cut down my hours at work to get all of the homework done. Thats all for now..

And it begins...

So I gave Evan a "homework" assignment. Right now we need to figure out our budget and an estimate of how many people we want to invite. So far, by myself, I have 98 people and thats not everyone. I've thought of like 10 more just sitting here and most of them are definitely gonna come to the wedding. So I told him to do 2 things. His dad offered to give us money as a wedding gift so I told him to find out how much (he said like $5000!!!) that would be amazing but we need to know a rough estimate there so we can add it to whatever my parents want to spend. So I asked him to try and figure out how much money his dad was gonna give us and give me a list of family/friends/co-workers that he wanted to invite to the wedding. I told him that at 5:00 PM today. When he called at 9:30PM he had already forgotten. Now I know, he's a guy and this wedding stuff prob. isn't that big of a deal to him, especially since we've been engaged liker 4 days. But I want to be ready to start looking at reception halls/banquet places etc as soon as my parents get back. Everyone has told me booking the reception and the flowers are the most important. Hopefully he remembers to do these things, but we'll see. Then I emailed my mom 2 days ago (they have internet on the cruise ship, NICE) and she emailed me back today. As previously mentioned, Evan's sister wants to be our wedding coordinator. Now I think it would be nice to have a "go-to" person, but her fee is 10% and I didn't think my parents would go for it. In my email my mom was really sweet but she defn. said "you KNOW me, I don't need someone else telling me how to spend my money." Yikes. Sounds like a defn. no the wedding planner, but we'll see. If Lindsey sits down & talks to them, they might change their mind, but prob. not. Anyway, thats all for now. I think I've narrowed down the color palette. Well I've settled on using fall colors. Oranges & wine/berries. It's gonna be great!! More later...

BIG NEWS!!!

On Sunday September 30th...Evan PROPOSED!!! YAAAY!! Im so happy..It was so wonderful and meaningful and just great! We've set a date of October 4, 2008. It means a lot to me because it would've have been my maternal grandparents 67th anniversary..He wanted a Christmas wedding, but we decided that at Christmas people already have so many things they have to do, not to mention the cost would be so much more. The ring is GORGEOUS!! I'll have to post a picture soon..I've pretty much got my part of the bridal party picked out...Rachel (my best friend) will be my maid of honor, Jamie, Angel, & Brittany will be be bridesmaids, Maci, & Grace will be flower girls with Mark in between them as the ring bearer and Gabby as the junior bridesmaid. All Evan knows is his best man will either be Bryan or Zach or both. We'll see how that goes. His sister wants to be our coordinator..She works for Circle City Planners (who are phenomenal) but the fee is 10% of the budget. Which doesn't seem like much, but if our budget is $15,000 then $1500 goes to her alone. Thats a big chunk of change, but she might be able to get us a deal, but if not, and we don't use her, then she'll be in the wedding party also. I haven't really thought of much else..I know I want the theme to be fall/harvest/a little bit of Halloween thrown in. I have no idea on colors. I saw 2 the other day that i really liked..tangerine & garnet. They looked really good together. But what Im gonna do is go to Home Depot or Lowes and look at the paint samples to get an idea of what goes well together and get a base color w/1 or 2 accent colors. Another problem is that my favorite color is purple and there really aren't any purple flowers in season in October. But I do love purple a lot..LOL!! I actually have to make decisions instead of just daydreaming about them. It's a lot to do. Not to mention that my parents are on vacation until the 10th or 11th of October and I need them to help set a budget and my mom to help me make decisions on colors/favors/flowers & go dress shopping.
The things I know for sure:
1. I don't want the flower girls to toss petals, I want them to toss silk leaves that are different colors to go w/the fall theme. I bought them last weekend before I got engaged. I saw them, they were gorgeous & on sale!!
2. I don't want to carry white flowers. If I can avoid white flowers totally I will. I'll already have on a white dress. I want my flowers to stand out.
3. We are getting married at the church I grew up in and have attended the majority of my life.
4. I want an evening wedding
5. I want it to be very family & kid oriented
6. Im going to carry (along w/my bouquet) the Bible my paternal grandma carried at her wedding
Things Im kind of sure of
1. I want to give the bridesmaids a color to wear and have them pick out whatever style they want as long as the dress is floor length (that part I know for sure)
2. I think I want a place that serves alcohol for the reception but that's not a necessity
3. I want to go on a honeymoon in the islands..Fiji, Costa Rica, St. Thomas etc.

So thats basically it. I have opened an account on theknot website and its really helpful, but it does throw into light how much has to be done in about 367 days!! More later:)

Yikes 2 posts 1 day

So here's an update *FYI..Read that last post carefully. I didn't JUST miscarry..I lost the baby 3 years ago...But I still miss her so much!!

Anyway...Short version of long events
1. STILL not engaged!! I thought for sure he'd do it yesterday..He was all nervous & everything, but oh well.. When the time is right:)
2. R & J are getting DIVORCED!!! WTF? They're both crazy, neither are at fault (of course) and it's just a huge mess.
3. Deputy E. has gone through almost all of the steps of the IMPD selection process. He just has to hear back from the polygraph (which I know he did fine on) and get the date to take the physical test..Which is damn hard!!! After that he's good to go.
4. His (D.E.) boss was FIRED!!! Last Friday. He was being such an asshole and was harassing E. at every chance he could get. The district manager came last Wednesday and it all went down. The boss had it coming and now E is happier then I've ever seen him!! It was getting SOOOO bad!!!
5. Hopefully..E will be moving closer (Castleton?) asap. I'd be the happiest!!
6. Mom & Dad leave for 3 weeks the 3rd week of September..Raise your hand if your pumped!
7. Online classes at IBC SUCK HUGE ASS!! Don't ever take one if you can so help it!! They are terrible. I would go into more detail but I have to go class in about 10 minutes.
8. I FINALLY got a new cell phone!! WOOT!! And they gave in and gave me text messaging. 30 days free and then only $5 a month unlimited. Im just gonna go all out & give them $60 and call it a year!!
9. I got a raise!! WEEEEE!!! It's about damn time.
10. I love E!!

More later
Oh & a BIG P.S. if you think you know me..You can comment, but don't use names or whatever cause this is like my private bitching/updating/etc place and I don't want names used w/o permission..Thanks:)

New tickers..YAAAYY!!!

Remember...

Remember what we celebrate today..
Remember the people who have died in the 231 years since we became a country and who are still fighting today, right now..
Remember how free we are, to say, do and believe what we want..
Remember not to take those freedoms for granted..

HAPPY 4th of JULY!!!!!

Helen

My sweet baby cat died today..I've had her since I was 6. She was the first pet I remember having. She used to be SO bad! She would chase you when you walked by, bite your feet and hands, she was playful. When we got home from TN on Thursday, I checked on her, and she was very thin, and could hardly move her back legs. She just got progressively worse. She stopped eating & then drinking and starting bleeding from her gums. If she hadn't passed today, I was going to go have her put to sleep tomorrow. She was just suffering SO much. It was really hard to watch. Plus, the parentals are out of town and Im alone, and that was hard too. So goodbye my sweet kitty. You were loved & will be missed.

Helen
July 4, 1989 to June 25, 2007

HARRY POTTER!!!

I think I just peed myself a little bit..I just saw the first preview for HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!!!
OMG, I didn't realize how it was time for that to come out & then the book...Raise your hand if your pumped and a HUGE HP fan!!! Both of my hands are waving in the air!!

Hmm...

Is it bad that everytime I get on the computer, just to type something (like say the homework I should be doing now) that I get HUGELY sidetracked? I think my mind is broken. I just can't focus. Well I can when it's crunch time..But today Im doing my final speech on adoption, which I am. So I don't really need any notecards or anything but I thought I'd type out some kind of sheet for the people in my class so they'd know what I was talking about since I talk REALLY fast during speeches. I always have too much to say. Anyway, I got about a paragraph done & moved on..Hmm..this could be potentially problematic..Okay back to it. Just wanted to show how sidetracked I am. Im writing about homework I should be doing right now, in my blog. NICE.

In the last 48 hours I have realized...

I have studied for 22 of them
I have realized that sometimes I HATE studying
That by studying medical terminology, i am classified as a nullipara, primagravida. Look it up.
If my baby had been born, she'd be 4 next month..WOW! Miscarriage is a terrible thing.
I am a HUGE bitch when I am stressed out & working on next to no sleep
Im dating a really nice guy who has some REALLY annoying tendencies
I need to get over it
I want to get married.
I want to have the huge wedding
Watching too many wedding's on television can make you obsessed.
I still want 4 kids..But NOT quadruplets.
In 4 days this house will be full to the breaking point w/friends I consider more like family. This time of year is my favorite..Besides Christmas.
Sometimes I just want to go on vacation, ALONE.
I havent..ahem, had "relations" in almost 4 months. Good grief. Notice how the number 4 just keeps appearing.
I miss the beach. I havent been there in forever. Maybe I can convice deputy E to take me there soon.
He wants to go to Cedar Point I want to go to Kings Island or Holiday World..They are closer which=less driving=less gas=less money..He just loves rollercoasters..Must make a decision.
When I think about people I know who are just living life by the seat of their pants w/no responsibility, it really upsets me.
When I think about the 3 years I WASTED at ISU and how I could have my RN by now, Im really upset w/myself
When I think about the fact that had I said a simple "yes" to caliboy, I would've been married & prob. divorced by now, I say a silent thanks that God gave me the heads up early.
When I think that 4 years ago, I would've had my baby girl, I tear up every single time. Maybe thats why Im so ready for a baby. I miss her all the time.
I need to sleep.
Im off to take a bath, read, & go to bed.

He's Great

So the new guy Deputy E as we will refer to him here is better then I originally thought. I mean I always thought he was good but here's a "for instance." Yesterday I was just in an easily annoyable mood. EVERYTHING was pissing me off. Seriously, school, work, the kids, although I must tell you about my dear, dear ChyChy in a moment, Deputy E I mean everything!! And I pretty much took it out on him. I was a bitch, straight up. So last night I had this dream and I was this hot chick (lol, one of the reasons I love dreams) and I ran into this guy that was a combination of all my previous boyfriends all their bad qualities, their needs, their fuck-upedness and at the end of this dream was Deputy E and above him a big, flashing sign that said "YOU ARE SO LUCKY!!!" and I woke up and realized how lucky I am that he is putting up w/my bs. So I called him today and apologized and said "Im sorry I was bitchy" and he said "it's okay, sometimes I need it" WHAT!? I can't believe he thinks that sometimes he needs me to be bitchy. How lucky am I, seriously? I'll be lucky if this one sticks around. I see him and my future and he had a dream the other night that he proposed to me! OMG..Anyway..my dear ChyChy will have to come at another post because I must go to class, but I just had to brag on Deputy E.

Umm so news..

So Im seeing someone...Hmm.. I haven't been "seeing someone" since EJM & I broke up back in September..I mean I've gone on dates & everything, but nothing serious...and THIS is leaning towards the very serious..Like SERIOUS serious..He's wonderful, treats me like a QUEEN (which I've never had before & therefore kinds of weirds me out). I told my madre that he's kind of a nerd and I don't know how to feel about him and she told my dad was (and is) a HUGE nerd and they've been married for almost 35 years (thinking of that, I must add another ticker..LOL..Im kind of a ticker freak). My 2nd momma at church said "so he doesn't drink, steal your stuff to buy drugs or hit you & your WEIRDED OUT!??! So true..I must learn to trust but it's hard. Esp. since the last relationship was so horrible.. But anyway, that is the "biggest" news of late. Also, in sad news, my 2nd dadda's mom died on Saturday..I know this is gonna sound horrible, but it was interesting listening to him tell me why/how because I knew EXACTLY how she died. Like medically. She died from atrial fibrilation which is fatal 99% of the time. She didn't have any pain or anything she was just gone. The viewing is tomorrow from 2:00-8:00 and the funeral is Wednesday at 11:30. Anyway..I must run to class...Better update later

Things I HATE part 1

When my family decides every summer to have all these fucking people over for the Formula 1 race. FINE. When they decide to use my bedroom, NOT FINE. It's like I don't even fucking live here. Cool, and where the hell am I supposed to sleep? It was okay when I was gonna be in California and last year when I wasn't living at home, I understand all that, but guess what? I actually am a PERSON, no one else is giving up their bedroom. And HELLO Im the one going to school and working but who gives a shit right? My sleep and being in my room where my clothes/perfume/bed/computer is, who cares?! NO BIG DEAL. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! And then my mom has the audacity to ask why this bugs me!?!?! I fucking wonder. Give up your room & find out.

It's been a minute.....But here I am

Update?
1. Im not going to California-EVER. I asked for an answer, seriously, I was like God, I need to know what to do. J told me there was a trip planned to Tahoe and he had to go, so I couldn't visit that week. He asked me to come out some other time & I was like (insert retarded voice) what part of go to school 12 weeks and have 1 week off & that is my 1 week off til September do you not understand? So I told him it wasn't gonna work & he said he'd come out here. Well we talked last Saturday & I told him it'd had been like 75 days (now 82) days since I'd had "relations" and it was no big deal. We were just talking there it was. Then he called me and told ...God this is too long...short story, he told me I was a slut, because I had sex EIGHTY TWO days ago almost 3 months & he didn't...said I was "wishy washy" w/him..When I have been waiting SIX FUCKING YEARS for him, and that he didn't know what to do with me. I told him he didn't get to judge me & that I hadn't been dating ANYONE and there are opportunities, because I wanted to make sure what was going on with him. He said "we will talk about this later" and I was like "NO we will not. DO NOT CALL ME if you do I'll just keep hitting "decline" on the phone. I don't want to talk to you again. I am done. He called that night, I didn't answer and haven't heard from him since. And I have NEVER been more at peace about it. God gave me my answer. First w/him having this trip and then these comments and name calling. I will NEVER again be in an abusive relationship..Whether it's physical, emotional, or mental. And calling me names and trying to judge me, thats abusive & I don't have time. Yay me:)
2. Our Preschool closing program was last night..OMG..it was fantastic even though the majority of my kids didn't show up but thats because they have deadbeat parents,,,except for JA & K..They had a family graduation to go too. But anyway, it was emotional for JE because it was SK's last day..She supposedly was to go back to her birth parents today..but this week her mom hasn't been answering the phone. Birth Parents & Foster Parents had a meeting today so hopefully BP's didn't show so Foster Family can adopt SK & her brother. But you know,it's in God's hands. Like Mrs. B said today we have to trust in God that things work the way they are supposed to. It's a tough situation, but most of our kid come from some kind of messed up family. It's really a hard place to work. Most of the kids I just want to shake the parents and scream at them, look what you have...Why are you f------ up your child SO much!?!?! Some of the kids we won't see again because they are going to kindergarten so that was sad and my first two "babies" are one of those kids. They're staying for the summer program but then they will be gone. That made me tear up a little bit. But Im glad it's over. It's been a stressful month. Summer program here we come!!
3. I currently have a 4.0 GPA. Now, I took an A&P test on Wednesday and didn't do so well I don't think. I've been sick all week..MIGRAINE city...Stress, weather change, period. But more on that in #4. School is kicking my ass. Finals are in TWO weeks. They are gonna be SO hard. All cumulative. Neat. Had another speech, got an A! So let me tell you. this B-word teacher of mine. .So I missed class last Monday because I had a doctors appointment and bronchitis & took the night off. I emailed her & my A&P professor well before class. I asked that if we did anything class they let me know or just let me know to get w/another student. My A&P professor let me know we reviewed and I was cleared to take the test the following week. My speech professor told me we didn't do anything in class and that my speech topic was cleared. So I come into class on Monday morning & we have an EXAM that day & a speech due WEDNESDAY!! She changed the whole damn syllabus!! So when I asked her about it she was super bitchy & said she didn't have time to email everyone. Okay, I got that, but you could've just said talk to another student. B-WORD!
4. MIGRAINES SUCK!!!! I've had some kind of one since Monday. Black circles in front of my eyes, dizziness, sick to my stomach etc. I left class early twice and work early once. I have one in the back of my head right now. I've had a Darvocet tonight so thats why its just barely there..but soon it'll be back full force. I know part of it is from my period..so hopefully the headaches will be gone by the end of the weekend.


Okay...thats all for now..Im done & tired.. I wanna make a new counter...

Happy Momma's Day

HAPPY MOMMA'S DAY!!!

So my whole family is here at my house & I have about 1 million things to do before tomorrow. I have a MedTerm exam Tuesday along w/ a MLE exam & so some dumbfuck assignment Im not even going to go into because the assignment was made ENTIRELY to stir shit up. Oh and a 3-5 minute speech w/a 1200 word paper due Wednesday. Im not even gonna go into what happened last Thursday (cause I've had to tell the story so many times) except to say that threats were made & so was a police report and now I have escorts to class & to my car. I prob. should be more worried but Im just not. I think things will cool down now that we've have 3 days w/o class. But we'll see. If not, I know what to do. One of my teachers is just really pissing me off w/her little assanine comments and the previously mentioned assignment which Im pretty sure Im not gonna do just because of what the topic is. GOOD LORD. Grow up, we are in college, not middle school. Jeez. Anyway.. Mother-Daughter Banquet was Friday night & it was pretty good.. This girl I used to know, who is seriously, certifiably crazy, stared at me the whole time so that was weird, but the entertainment was good minus the damn handbells & bellchimes. They are SO annoying and I feel bad saying that because my gramma plays handbells, but still, they are awful. Yuck! Im am SO ready for this quarter to be over and to have my happy ass in California..I wish I could figure out how to add that ticker to my journal, but I'll just have to keep adding it whenever it goes off the screen. So I have like 3 guys that want to go on a date and get this Im TOO TIRED to do anything on the weekends. Remember the old days when I had a social life on the weekends? OMG..Friday I get home and I am SO exhausted I pretty much watch whatever Netflix movie came that week & go to bed..Saturday is usually my study day, and I do study all day, and then Sunday is family & more studying. Seriously..How am I every gonna get a bf w/this schedule? I guess I can have a bf after school is over. Although, I think if I get a bf or get serious w/someone, I'd make time for them. But right now, just going out on a date, having to wear something other than capri pants (work) or scrubs (school) seems like too much work..lol..Maybe things will work out really well in Cali and I won't have to worry about it..But I strongly doubt that. Take this example..CalBoy calls Friday night to tell me he's going out partying or whatver, fine. FYI: last time he did that he got SO drunk he ended up wandering on the fucking FREEWAY!!! He never gets that drunk so I can't believe he's doing it again. He says he'll call sometime Saturday, once again, fine. So I clean and go to store w/mi madre on Saturday and then go watch GiGi & BooBear and he calls at like 9:00..UMM WTF? So I ask (sarcastically) if he just got up? And he's like no, of course not and I was like why didn't you call sooner? He says, "because I didn't feel like it." Well fuck you then! Damn! Nothin like being harsh. I was like, well are you SURE you feel like talking NOW? Cause I wouldn't want to twist your damn arm. And he was like what do you want to talk about? Fuck if I know. You called me. We could talk about what were gonna do when I come visit, how there is no way Im spending 10 HOURS in the Sacramento airport and how YOU need to figure out how Im getting to your place (we had a full on fight about this on Monday night), we could talk about how you need to decide if you want to be with me or not, how Im not wasting 6 more years waiting for you to grow up and stop dicking around. Seriously. when we decided I was coming out, I said it was w/o expectations and it was, until I realized we've ben dating on & off for SIX YEARS!! YEARS, not months, YEARS!! I was w/Cheater-Beater for 10 months but other then that Cali-Boy & I have been hemming & hawing for six years. It's time to shit or get off the pot. He's gonna be 28 this year. It's time to make a decision & I swear to GOD if I fly out there and it's like it was when I went out last September (he was a jerk, obviously) Im charging my change ticket fee to his credit card and coming home. I can't date anyone else fully if I think there *might* be something with him. Now I know I make him sound like a real ass hat, but he is the only man I've ever loved LOVED, LOVED. I still do. He'll always have a little piece of my heart & when we are together it is AMAZING. He is wonderful so I don't know, but we have to make a decision or I'll never be able to move on & I don't know if I should tell him before I go out or just wait and see how it goes when I get out there. Hopefully he has the same thoughts, even if he thinks we shouldn't be together. Ughh..thats all for now, more later Im sure since the crazy side of family is here. Must go do MLE homework

Here I am

Good Lord it's been about 20 years since I posted..or what 5 days? Anyway, Im at school right now getting ready to go to class..Lets see, what's happened since last time?
1. D-R-A-M-A at preschool & school-school. Preschool: some teachers & director knocked heads-->no resolution because director left town for 4 days-->teachers start planning summer program w/o director (who incidentally, had decided a couple of months ago that she was leaving at the end of May)-->director comes back and announces that she is not leaving in May (yay!)and that we shall commence w/summer plans (I wasn't one of the teachers that knocked heads & I was asked to make the summer schedule of hours, so hopefully it's approved cause if it isn't Im gonna be pissed, it's fantastic. Everyone got the hours they want/need and there's no room to budge. We have 9 employees and we have to keep the hours below 210, we're at 189 now)
School: 2 girls cheat-->I turn them in because I don't think it's okay for them to cheat & me not be able to. I would've gotten an A also if used my notes for the test-->last week (Wednesday) I skip said class and the shit hits the fan-->one of the girls gets in the teachers face because he marked her absent because she leaves early EVERY SINGLE CLASS or falls asleep-->she and another girl get into it-->she gets written up-->yesterday I go to said class & she starts w/our teacher again who goes ballistic and has someone from the office escort her out of class-->she is talked to (I don't know what happened or whom she spoke with)-->she's allowed to come back to class-->ends up not doing her test-->leaves early-->gets marked absent..Does she not see a trend here?!?!?!? What an a-hole.
2. I am SOOOOOOOOOOO tired. I swear I don't sleep at all anymore and Im not sure why. I think last week/weekend it was just stress at work and now my body can't get it together to go to sleep. Im also inundated w/homework so Im constantly thinking about what I have due, what tests are coming up ETC.
Okay..thats all for now..I just looked at the clock & I have to go to class..I'll update after school tonight..

Lets see if this shows up

My first post...awww

So I read other people's blogs all the time and thought it was time to get one of my own..So yay for me! Anyway..my life in a nutshell
1. Im a preschool teacher..a job which a love w/people that I don't (well not all the time, but sometime I can't handle the DRAMA)
2. Im in school to get my associates..I'll be a Certified Medical Assistant next September and then *hopefully* I'll begin working towards my RN..It should be only an 18 mo. program so hopefully I'll be finished by March 2009.
3. Im busy pretty much all the effin time. Social life? What is that? This also means Im single..The most important thing in my life right now is school..everything else is secondary
Is that everything basically? I think so..I don't know how often I'll be on here..Most of the time during the week I only have time to get online at school and they block certain sites and I don't know if this is one or not..I'll try to update as often as possible..I think it'll be theraputic..So thats all for now..