Movie Review: "Exodus: Gods and Kings"

Schlock like an Egyptian.

It should tell you something that after I saw Exodus: Gods and Kings on opening weekend, I went home and watched 1998's DreamWorks animated The Prince of Egypt on Netflix ... and had a much better time.  I would have watched Cecil B. DeMille's monumental 1956 production of The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston as Moses and Yul Brynner as Ramses, but - alas - it wasn't streaming.  Then when I sat down to write a movie review, I seriously contemplated framing it all as a "I'm sorry, please take me back, I love you!" letter to Chuck Heston.

Come on, babe.  You know it's always been about you.

OK, OK, let's get to Exodus: Gods and Kings (and why in the world do we need that colon and its little subtitle?  Isn't Exodus enough?)   All cards on the table: I wanted to like this movie.  I wanted to like it a LOT.  There's no disappointment quite like dashed hope.  I almost entitled this review Exodus: All Washed Up.  In fact, it would probably take the entire Red Sea to wash all the guyliner off Bale and Edgerton ... though I suppose I must give some kind of grudging acknowledgment of an entire movie in which the men wear more makeup than the women.

Mapping Millennia of Cultural History

2100-Year-Old Royal Tomb Discovered in China

Liu Fei must have looked snazzy in his jade burial suit.

Can You Dig It: Archaeological Discoveries in Northern Iraq

For once here's some good news out of Iraq.  Check out some fascinating discoveries including statues and the remains of a temple dedicated to the ancient god Haldi.  More here.

Meet Naia the 12,000-Year-Old Teenager

She is the oldest complete skeleton ever found in the New World.

The Cat's Meow: Egypt in 3600 BC

Wow:

The skeletons of six cats, including four kittens, found in an Egyptian cemetery may push back the date of cat domestication in Egypt by nearly 2,000 years.

Gee, What Do You Think?

Here's the question being undertaken by two recent scholarly books:

Modern anthropological research may be settling the great debate between the English philosopher Thomas Hobbes and the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Was the state of nature a “war of every man against every man” in which life was “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short,” as Hobbes wrote? Or did “savages” live in utopian bliss, thanks to “the tranquility of their passions and their ignorance of vice,” as Rousseau believed?

Professor Donald Kagan on A Liberal Education

Yale's great historian gives his farewell lecture.  Do listen.

Your Snarky Headline for St. Patrick's Day

"Patrick Wasn’t Irish: He Was British. Deal with It."

Perhaps you might find this write-up of St. Patrick to be useful.

Beware the Ides of March!

Forgotten History: the Philanthropist and the Queen

Interesting stuff here:

She is regarded as the ancient world’s equivalent to the Mona Lisa and this weekend the 3,400–year old bust of the Egyptian Queen Nefertiti will be the centrepiece of a grand exhibition in Berlin’s Neues Museum, celebrating her discovery by German archaeologists exactly a century ago.

The delicately featured and priceless bust of the wife of the ancient Egyptian Sun King Akhenaten has been one of the highlights of Berlin’s museum collection since it was first put on display in the city in 1923.

It was unearthed by the famous German archaeologist Ludwig Borchardt, at Amarna in 1912. He became a household name in Germany but few know the story of the wealthy Jewish patron and philanthropist who not only funded the excavation work that led to the bust’s discovery but also donated Nefertiti and scores of other ancient Egyptian artefacts he owned to Berlin’s museums. Organisers of the centenary celebrations are hoping to change that.

Yes, please meet James Simon, who was written out of the history books after the rise of the Nazis in 1933.

Egypt's Long History of Pro- & Anti-Pyramid Thought

Some background on the current Salafist idea of blowing up the "un-Islamic" pyramids.  It sounds all too much like the Taliban blowing up the Bamiyan Buddhas.  Are these nuts capable of nothing but hate and destruction?  Ugh.

Nerd Fun: Paper Dioramas of History's Disasters

From Pompeii to the Hindenburg to Shackleton's expedition, they're here rendered in cartoony papercraft quirkiness. You can even download instructions to make your own for your desk or cubicle!  Who knows?  You might learn a little history along the way too.  I really like the Great Chicago Fire one, complete with Mrs. O'Leary's cow.

Friday Fun, Olympic Edition: Boris Johnson's Introduction

Someone with entirely too much free time on his hands has come up with this hilarity featuring London's mayor:

Everything Tastes Like the Royal Bird of Meluhha

Here is a fascinating little history of the chicken.  No, really, read it!

Rock On: Afghan Stone Carvers Defy the Taliban

Back to the Bamiyan valley (aka the scene of the crime).  Here's a great quote:

"During this course we realised we had much more ability for working with stone than we could have imagined, and we understood we can do so much more," said Jawed Mohammadi, a 20-year-old history student at the university, who used the week to chisel out a human face. "The buddhas were destroyed, but maybe we can build them again."

More of this, please.

Ancient Bread Stamps!

Here's a cool new find from Israel: an ancient bread stamp marked with a menorah.  You might love this preserved example from Pompeii.  Other bread stamps have been found that date from ancient Egypt.  Hey, labeling/branding your product is soooooooo not a new idea.

Book Reviews: Corporate Conquerors

Let's take some business lessons from some of history's most effective conquerors, shall we?  In two different books, Hannibal and Julius Caesar invade the corporate boardroom.

Read: "Lords of the Sea" and the Story of the World's First Dominant Navy

Before the Roman navy made the Mediterranean Sea their lake and before the British navy ruled the waves around the globe, the Athenian navy underpinned a maritime empire.  I'm checking out Lords of the Sea by archaeologist John R. Hale (Penguin, 2010).  Does it have anything at all to do with my own schoolwork?  Nope!  And I don't care.  Triremes are cool.  They're even cooler when some crazy history buffs and archaeologists re-create one and sail it around!

The History of the English Language in 10 Minutes

Amusing!