Unschool article/chores

My friend Joanne posted an unschooling article and it was a good piece but one thing stood out to both of us.

The kids had required chores every morning before they could get on with their day.

I know some people just unschool academics which really makes no sense to me.

We live and learn.

We don't have arbitrary rules and chores.

Here's my take on it.

If someone required me to do x,y and z before I could get on the computer I would be mad to say the least.

I get up and I check my email while I have my coffee. My friends live in my computer, I love my computer.

I have grown close to many people and we keep up with each other daily. If I don't hear from someone in a couple days, I'll email them and make sure they are ok.

Our kids have a life too.
It could be their video game, or tv show, or they want to go outside, or play with a friend or whatever they like to do when they get up.

Nobody should be *required* to do anything upon waking.

What a way to start each day, dreading a chore or moping around because you HAVE to do something before you can get on with your life.

I'll do the dishes and laundry when I am ready, it could be 3pm or 10pm, does it really matter? Is there some law that says dishes shall be done before playing?

Heck, now if it's nice out I get my butt outside for fresh air and sunshine, dishes can wait.

I wasn't always this easy, I am a compulsive, control freak, I used to clean before going out. I used to make sure all the dishes were done before I went to bed. Who wants to wake up to a sink full?

Life has it's way of happening and I have been on crutches for 6 weeks. My kids have been doing the dishes. Dishes aren't that high on a kids priority list until there aren't any clean ones and they want a bowl of cereal. Then they wash a bowl and spoon so they can eat, they they think hey maybe it's time to wash some dishes.

I'm not saying let things go and pile up, I'm just saying change your perspective and don't let household tasks take over your life.

I personally don't mind dishes or cleaning in general but I have learned to let go and just go with the flow.

Back to kids and chores.

I just don't believe in assigning chores to kids or adults.

We live together, we work together, let's just do what needs to be done.

Dishes

Dishes are fun!

That is what Cassie told me tonight.

She has been doing the dishes the past few days and she likes it!

Who knew?

I have never required her to wash dishes :)

The boys don't think dishes are fun but hey, they are missing out!

my room?

A few of my facebook buddies know that I cleaned and vacuumed my room last night.

Well....
it didn't last.

Apparantly the bad guys (Japanese) captured a good guy(American) and the mission is to save him.

The captured guy is hanging on my treadmill leg.

I just moved the base over so I could get to my computer.

We cleaned Cassie's room tonight so I still got to vacuum something Donna :)

My vacuum sucks!

I mean that literally!

I love this thing, I bought it a week ago and I can't stop using it.

The day after we got it Cassie was vacuuming her room and she sucked up a belt. It literally wrapped around the brush tightly. Jason had to take it apart to get it out and it broke the vacuum cleaner belt.

I had to go down to the store and buy a belt the next day. I was so bummed because I wanted to vacuum that night.

Then I was vacuuming near the computer and it sucked in the cord to Kieran's new gaming headset. It chewed up the cord and he was upset because he just got them two days before.

I called Jay and he brought a new headset home and all was well.

Later I was vacuuming in my room and I sucked up a USB cord, chewed the hell out of it.

My husband said he is going to make the house cordless. HA!

Today I started vacuuming again, my room is so clean, I was sucking up cobwebs this time.

It's a joke now, there goes mom sucking again.

I love to vacuum, it's great therapy...

Tonight I was working on Cassie's room. I packed up several boxes to put in the attic and picked up all of the stuff on the floor, you have no idea how dirty her room gets.

Every little thing that can get on the floor is on the floor, it happens every couple of weeks.

I clean it when I'm pre-menstrual, gotta use those hormones for good. My house is clean one week out of the month, the rest of the time I seem to let it go.

I moved everything out of the closet, we have mice terds around the perimeter of her whole room so we were busy cleaning that up.

We have now trapped 9 mice, I really hope that's it.

We got two for one last night and Jason said that disproves the saying that the second mouse gets the cheese.

I felt bad looking at the little buggers but I can't have them in my house leaving evidence everywhere, I mean everywhere and running around scaring me.

what's happening

Baseball season ended Saturday, my son's team won and ended with a 10 and 2 record. My son had a great experience and is talking about playing in the spring also. We have this week off of soccer because school here is out for a fall break and soccer takes a week off too, go figure. After this week off we have 3 more weeks of soccer.

We are spending our sportsless week cleaning and decluttering. The house has gone to pot and I am doing spring cleaning in the fall.

I have worked really hard the past two days and my body hurts and I'm tired.

There is so much to do!

We will be having a visitor in the next week who I have been waiting to meet for what seems like forever, I will post pictures and give more details when it happens.

Also in early November my mom is coming for 4 days and she is staying with us, she'll be bunking with Cassie. I just cleaned her room today, it usually takes 2 days but I did it in a few hours, wow! She did help a bit too and now she is loving it, she told me she'll try to keep it clean until grandma comes :)

Also my aunt and uncle from NY will be visiting at the same time, they will stay in a hotel nearby.

We will be having Cassie's birthday party when they are all here too.

I have to get my house in order for a party and company and having grandma stay with us.

It's long overdue I have let things go for too long, I used to be so compulsive and my house used to be so clean.

I was sick for so long and then we have been playing sports and it's all I could do to keep up with daily stuff.

It just piled up so much that I have felt overwhelmed and didn't know where to begin.

I am better now and working on getting healthier everyday. I will just do what I can each day to get this house in shape.

Laundry

This is what can happen when you don't fold the laundry.
I have loads and loads of clean clothes piling up, we all have to keep digging through to find our clothes.

We have sports every day this week so the pile will still be there, I don't have time to fold. I will however keep washing and adding to the pile.

Ah hell...

Don't stop there, just keep cleaning, just keep cleaning...

Pretty soon the whole house is clean...

I'm done now, phew...

Caffeine is good stuff!

I'm the energizer Stephanie.

Warning

Eating lots of dark chocolate and drinking coffee could cause a buzzing in the back of your head.

It could cause you to spin in circles.

It could cause your mood to change for the better.

It could cause you to fold the mountain of laundry that has been piling up all week.

It's real easy to put the clothes in the washer and dryer, it's folding and putting away that is the real work.

I would have taken a picture if I thought of it, the pile is gone.

Jason just walked in and said, "Well I see you put the chocolate and coffee to good use."

It was Green's and Black organic dark chocolate and organic coffee for my *green* friends :)

No chores?

Since this has been a hot topic lately I thought I would just give my straight answer right here.

Families live together, learn together and work together.

I will freely admit to doing all the cleaning as my kids were young. They of course as toddlers would want to help. As they grew I would keep them with me and talk to them. I have never forced my children to do any chores.

As they are getting a little older they are helping out more. I ask for help and they usually help. This wasn't always the case, sometimes I would get a grumble, so we talk about why. If they are in the middle of something and I ask one to feed the dog or something, they tell me they will do it when they are done. It's nobody's job to feed the dogs, most days it gets down without asking.

My kids know how to sweep, mop, vacuum, run the washer, do dishes, feed the animals, clean the toilet etc. They know how from watching and from doing.

When the house gets messy I just ask for everyone to pitch in and we can get it down fast. Most days I just go around picking things up or moving them to the right room as I walk through the house.

My kids make lots of messes and they are usually willing to help out.

Some more than others, a lot is personality.

We talk about cleaning and how we all live here and it is nice if we can all keep it liveable.

I still do the majority of cleaning and ask for help as I see fit.

I want my kids to help from their heart not from force.

The beauty really shines when they just go and do something without being asked but because they wanted to.

A recent example is last week Kieran weeded the flower bed in front of the house, he did it as a surprise for his dad.

Awhile ago I woke up and both boys were doing the dishes.

Kieran likes to clean the bathroom, although he hasn't done it lately. Sometimes he sweeps and mops the floors. Cassie likes to wash windows and dust.

This is not an everyday occurance, it is intermittent but it is important because it isn't forced.

Cassie asked me to help her clean her room last night and she really did a lot. Usually I clean it because it gets overwhelming for her.

As they grow and mature it really gets easier.

My attitude is also that if I am the one who wants to clean then I'll just clean.

Life is too short to get worked up about these kind of things.

Childhood is really short and I do not want my kids to spend it doing chores.

Some moments are still a little challenging

I have a lot going on in my head but I will try to focus.

I have been a mom for 12 1/2 years and I'm so quick to give advice about *getting over yourself* and these are *your issues* and blah blah blah...

I do give myself the same advice by the way... All day I kept telling myself to get over it, it only bothers YOU, you are the only one who even knows it's bothering YOU!

My house has become a disaster area, for many reasons, that I may or may not share. I used to keep house so well, of course as anyone will testify if you do that then it is ALL you are doing.

So, I have learned to *let go* oh my gosh you have no idea how much I have let go in the cleaning department. We go days with stuff strewn about before I (we) pick it up, the clean laundry piles up waiting to be folded. Cassie's room, oh let's not go there... I cleaned the boys' room today because I wanted to and you wouldn't know it now :)

It's all for my own peace of uncluttered mind, but who am I kidding? My mind is so full of thoughts and ideas and opinions, I might use mess as an excuse. For example the last time I cleaned the boys' room was so I could watch Across the Universe, I actually can't sit and watch a movie with a mess around me. Am I just weird? Don't answer that.

I have come a long way with a lot more to go, this post wasn't even going to be about messes or cleaning. I clean when I want to period. I am not kidding, I used to be so crazy about picking up or doing dishes or whatever. I have been known to let go on occasion and now don't always do the dishes before bed, even though I hate to wake up to a mess. It is so liberating to say *you know what, I don't want to do the dishes* My husband is so easy, he always tells me to take a break or don't worry about it, I'm learning from him, he is so easy going and relaxed. I'm just an uptight honky :) anyone seen Bringing Down the House, love it.

Life is messy, kids are messy, people make messes, otherwise we would do nothing and learn nothing and live in a box covered in plastic for fear of making a mess. That doesn't happen here, nobody is afraid to make a mess.

We live here, we learn here, we work here, it definitely gets messy. You know what it's a-ok as long as I can find the floor long enough to vacuum it :)

Tonight the kids were being loud and really not listening and I got a tad bit agitated. That was what my post was really about. I don't want to get upset or frustrated, I just want to sail through any challenge and work it out, tonight was a little difficult. It's over now and at least I can go over it in my mind and figure out how to do better next time.

There is a floor!

I vacuumed and mopped today, as you can see Cocoa is happy. After I let her in, they were out all day, she is a spoiled little house dog.

Mocha too :)

I have no idea about all the spots it must be the lens. Kieran is like mom what ARE you doing????

Hormones

The best thing about PMS is that my house gets cleaned! YAY!!!
Today I was having a moment that has nothing to do with cleaning but with one of my child's emotional issues.

Jason got me aside and told me to get out of my panties, that is of course to unwad them :)

He played me one of my favorite songs and tried to get me to laugh. The whole time I kept telling him that I NEED to vacuum and clean the toilet. He said is this what has become of us you need to vacuum and clean the toilet????

I just lost it, I laughed so hard, I needed that, I need to just live and let go...
Then after I laughed my head off I said "can I go vacuum now?"

So I cleaned and it felt so good, man I love to vacuum... Yeah I know I'm twisted but it's all good.
Embrace those hormones they serve a purpose :)

I get intense, passionate, vocal, on my rants, on my soapboxes and I get a clean house. Oh and I'm pretty damn funny too!

Greetings from the sickos...er sickies :)

Where to begin? Well I don't paint beautiful pictures with words like Julie or Laura but I can still be coherent, I think.

I'm not gonna lie it's been a rough week with all the sickness but we still had a great Christmas and we still cooked dinner, roast beef, yummmmmy :) So we didn't frost cookies until yesterday but that was no big deal.

I'm just going to be straight with you guys, I don't even know who reads this besides a handful of people...

I have got some PMS going on, sucks to be sick and extra cranky on top of it. I don't have it as bad as dh, thank God, I have it bad enough though. I have to take care of everyone else and I am run down, I have lost it a few times the past two days. I hate when I lose it because I feel like a loser who can't control herself.

My kids have been bickering, mostly Cassie and Jared and Jared has been pretty sick, he hasn't eaten much and he is coughing and stuffed up BUT he has been unbearable and I have run out of patience. I hate when I get to the end of my patience because then I just bitch, and say things I shouldn't say. I am not proud of this but it happens every month, it just plain SUCKS, hormones SUCK!!!!

I really don't want to be a perfectionist and I didn't think I was one after reading a bit about them. One of my mottos is if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it right. This does not keep me from doing/living but I have also heard people say I'm gonna do it even if it's wrong, I would just never say something like that.

I take parenting very seriously, so when I lose it, I beat myself up, I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy... I apologize to my kids, I apologize to God for losing my temper and screwing up.

I know I'm not perfect but I want to be the best mother I can, I have this image in my mind but when I fall short it is soooo hard to deal... I always tell people to buck up and deal so of course that is the advice my dh gives me :)

The mess is overwhelming and it makes me cranky, dh says get over it would you!!! YES in about a week I'll get over it!!! Why do hormones make everything so much more than it really is???? You have no idea how much I have let go in regards of mess, I used to vacuum everyday, Laura close your eyes you would not handle this well. Now it's like, OK I need to clear this room so I can vacuum the floor, one room at a time.

I can't deny my kids freedom to create and play in every room of the house, what kind of stick in the mud would I be? Oh yeah, I would be me, Miss I wish the house didn't looked lived in, I'm so over that, NOT!

We are who we are, I am me and nothing will change that, I have to adapt and figure out what is important.
I want my kids to learn, grow, explore, play, create and have fun.

At the same time I need something in the house that is clean and uncluttered :)

I do not believe in coincidence

This just hit my inbox and what timing. I just cleaned Cassie's room, let me just say it was unbearable, it gets this way all the time. Everything is dumped out and you can't walk in the room without stepping on something. Yes I clean it when I *need* it clean, she usually starts to help once I get going, trust me I realize this is my issue. Anyway I just cleaned it after it being a disaster for some time, I can let it go a bit... unclench, pull that stick out, splinter by splinter...

OK! It is a complete disaster again, the neighbor kids came over today and that's all she wrote.

Well I admit it makes me cranky, WHY? Because I am pre-menstrual now and have so much to do. Don't I always have so much to do what does being pre-menstrual have to do with it??

Because everything is just worse then, right!?

Presents to wrap, cookies to bake, house to clean, laundry to do, oh and on top of that we have had sickness here this week. Jason got sick Tuesday and it is slowly making it's rounds. I refuse to get it, of course :) I have been taking Oil of Oregano since Friday and praying hard!

I just went to my Homeopath on Saturday and she is prescribing a new remedy for me, we are still looking for my simillimum, this will be the 3rd one I will try. I haven't used it yet because I have been taking Oil of O and just having coffee a few more times.

I have to give up coffee again, I can have it on occasion but not daily. I didn't drink it for a whole year and have just been enjoying it since June, I don't care as long as I get better :)

Enough rambling here is Scott Noelle:


THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove

:: An Unconditional Icebreaker ::

Here's a game you can play the next time you're
bothered about some unwanted behavior or conditions,
especially if you're just beginning to practice the
Art of Unconditionality...

First, step back for a minute or so and imagine having
the conditions exactly as you desire. Imagine it
vividly enough that you activate the *feeling* of
having the desired conditions.

For example, say you're annoyed because your child
made a huge mess in the house, and you don't want to
clean it up. So you close your eyes and imagine the
house in perfect order. You might even amplify the
feeling by imagining that someone *else* did the
cleaning for you -- maybe even your child! :-)

Feeling better? Great! Even if you go back to feeling
annoyed the moment you open your eyes, you've proven
that you don't need the outer conditions to change in
order to feel better. How you feel depends only on how
you focus your thoughts.

Imagine that!

http://www.dailygroove.net/unconditional-icebreaker
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle
"Inspiration & Coaching for Progressive Parents"
http://www.ScottNoelle.com
http://www.EnjoyParenting.com

1044 Water Street, Suite 342
Port Townsend, WA 98368
USA
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Neighborhood mom

So today I didn't feel like being neighborhood mom I just wanted to clean my house.

I made so many attempts at vacuuming I lost count before I finally got it done.

The neighbor girl kept asking me to do this, get this...

I asked all of the kids to play outside, the weather was beautiful, I just wanted to do some cleaning :)

Then they went out and rode bikes through the mud puddles, then they wanted towels...
I told them to hose off because they were covered in mud, good thing it was warm :)

Well my washer has been slightly broken for a few months, well it washes but doesn't spin... I'll have you know that my biceps are shaping nicely, don't mess with the woman who has to wring out her laundry...

So then they want me to be the usual nice person who lets them be kids and paint and play and create and eat in her house...

Actually they did draw with markers and play and eat, we got pizza and they ate over. It was just a really stupid, hurried day. We had a birthday thing to go to in the evening and still hadn't been shopping until 6:oopm and Jared had several outbursts and the boys bickered about the computer and Cassie had too much artificial dye...

All I wanted to do was clean my house...

Little funny here... Brenny came in and asked me why I was cleaning, he asked me if I needed something to do. LOL! Like I don't have anything to do. I said because the house is a mess, I have really let go of my *standards* my house is lived in and I do have extra kids here daily. But I still *need* to clean once in awhile, right!?

So here it is 3:00am and Jared is asleep, woohoo, but Cassie is awake. I just need a little quiet before I go to bed.

So one of those days where I was hurried and stressed, not good, not fun, let it go woman, move on, tomorrow is another day. No rushing, I hate schedules and time constraints and it's much better on days that flow naturally. Let go, breathe in breathe out, have a drink :)