I is for IMAGINATION

Well who knew that this yearly IMAGINATION post would eventually break my heart. 

Look at what my baby child is using her imagination on these days? Driving. 

Blech.

It's like the pinnacle of parenting paradox: you want them to drive themselves around, but you don't want them actually driving. 

The feeling of LETTING GO OF CONTROL. This is what is going on here. 

It's everything you do mentally and metaphorically as they become teenagers, 

and then one day you're sitting shot gun and you LITERALLY let go of control. 

There is definite phantom break-pressing and lots of butt puckering, but absolutely no actual control. 

Can you believe that toy cars are going to make an appearance in this post (as they do EVERY SINGLE imagination post) but they are used as props to instruct Avery on a few things that happen out there on the road. Jim used them to teach her about some 4 way stop stuff etc. 

This is where we are at with Evan and his imagination: I don't even have a picture of what we are going to discuss.

Fortnite is a major player in his imagination. I like it when he plays with friends online. 

Mountain biking is another big part of his "play". Look at the hold he has on this group of friends, post bike ride. 

But the main event taking over right now is: HE MADE THE BASKETBALL TEAM! 

Guys remember when he got cut from the baseball team in the spring and I almost let it kill me? 

Well here we go again with tryouts. Me with butterflies. Evan nervous but confident. 

Last night I was pacing around the parking lot waiting for him to come out and tell the results: He tried to hide his smile but couldn't - "I made the c team!" 

Such a relief. 

But then I hear about the kids that got cut and I can't help but be so sad for them. I had to talk myself out of feeling their emotions for them. They don't need me to feel so upset. 

Evan got a basketball hoop last Christmas, and he has been out there working hard on getting better at it, and here we are! On the team. He could not be more happy. 

I am so so happy for him. 

Andrew's imagination is always running. It's like a background energy pack that hums and hums. 

Sometimes I tell him "I need you to stop thinking and focus." 

He's always cooking something in his brain. ALWAYS.

It involves pacing and biting his fingernails.

Recently he was really into our Chatbooks. He ranked them best to worst. He captioned them.

He organized them, ordered them, discussed them. Hauled them around the house.

He taped a made up title on each one.

He is still a kid. Only a few more years before his imagination shifts and grows into something more mature. 

 I often times go back and watch videos of my kids doing kid-imaginative things, and "nostalgia" is too kind of a word. I feel so many painful feelings. I feel like my heart will break, except in a good way? 

I don't know what to call it, but it is hurts but it's also beautiful. Like a beautiful glowing coal, too hot to handle. I have to set it down and walk away. 

V is for VISITORS

I feel so lucky that we were able to go to St. George for Thanksgiving this year. 

We woke up so early and flew down as the sun came up.

The plane was pretty empty, so we got spoiled with lots of room and lots of treats from the flight attendants.

Renting a car is always the worst unknown, and this time it was insane. Two hours of chaos later we were on our way to The Funks. 

We just dropped in to a warm, smell good house full of food and family busy cooking all the meal for us. 

We ate and did puzzles and watched movies. 

Lots of pie. Pie is my favorite. 

The next night we went to the desert Christmas lights. 

Saturday Riley had a booth at the Farmer's Market, so we went and bought stuff and helped her clean up when it was over.

We met up with Rob and Mary and ate pizza, 

and watched the live nativity. It was cold, so good thing it was super short and sweet. 

I would say the highlight of the trip was playing with their dogs. haha

Such sweetie pie dogs. 

Murphy would tuck us in and wake us up in the morning. 

Koda didn't mind that we were having a good time with other dogs behind her back...

We cheated on her, she cheated on us. It's all good. 

haha She loves Kyle so much. Kyle is her boyfriend. 

It felt so good to be with family. It feels like there's never enough family time. 

We needed

 one more day with the Funks

one more hour with Rob and Mary. 

 

I is for I

1. I have been sick all weekend. I think flu but maybe a cold. I feel great when I have meds in my system. 

Currently the meds have worn off and I feel lousy. I just got back from a walk in the forest with Koda. Fresh air feels great. But then I got so tired, I could barely drag myself home. 

2. When I got home, all I wanted was to crawl into bed, but I remembered that the garbage/recycling needs put out, so I called for the kids to come help. 

I was in charge of breaking down boxes. It was hard and I was miserable. (PS Jim is at work, usually he does this job). There was a particularly sturdy costco box that would not break down and I was standing on it - traded my fine motor muscles for jumping upon muscles - until it finally gave way.

 

3. Then I dragged myself back into the house and remembered the dog needs fed and watered. 

I know you're probably wondering "why don't you have your kids do that chore?" 

and I considered it, but it seemed harder to assign the task than to just quickly do it and get Koda situated so that I could go put myself into bed KNOWING everything is buttoned up downstairs. Mom math. 

4. Little mushrooms are still popping up in my forest. I feel like they are my friends saying HI! 

Then they disappear a few days later. 

5. I love a numbered list. It gives me permission to jump topics without having to explain myself or transition smoothly. Avery is finishing up an essay and I'm about to edit it, so I'm saving all my transition muscles for that. 

6. Did you know that Avery's team circled up and prayed before every game? 

That's a brave thing for Gio to do. There is a case that just got back from court here in Washington - the football coach prayed before or after games, can't remember which, and he went to court over it because he was told he couldn't do it. 

He won, but the school insisted he had to do it off of the field or something like that. 

It all sounds like a giant waste of resources. But I don't know. 

Anyway, Gio has yet to be taken to court over it, so until then - here they go. 

7. As you know, I've been studying soccer more, prepping for spring middle school. And the more I learn, the more I feel like I'm unqualified. Isn't that weird? Like it feels like imposter syndrome or something. 

I know I will get over it immediately. I coached Andrew's team with complete confidence, but I think it's interesting that this feeling would come up the MORE I study. 

8. This is a huge veer in topic, but it's one that I think about a LOT. Because This hike: Kanarraville Falls Hike pops up in my IG feed all the time. People are always raving about it and talking about how lucky they were to get to do it etc. 

Well, let me tell you about how back in MY DAY when I lived in Southern Utah, me and my friends went on this hike ALL THE TIME because it wasn't even an official trail with any established trailhead. One of my local friends just knew about it.

We would go and explore with NO ONE ELSE AROUND.  And you see that ladder there? There were NO LADDERS in my day. I think there was a spindly rope or something, but we would stand on each other's shoulders or whatnot to get up each waterfall. 

Cut to 20 years later, it is a super popular hike with accomodations and maps and a trailhead parking lot. And you can only go on it if you pay for a pass.  

Wild right?

9. I remember a specific time me and friends were driving to that hike, and a butterfly hit my windshield and the dust from the butterfly wings was sparkly! And there was sparkly butterfly dust left there on my window and I was really excited about it, and a kid in my car made fun of it/me about it. Then Chantel said something like "ooh you obviously don't know Kelli if you are going to mock it like that." 

haha I loved that she knew me and stood up for me. 

Not that he was really being mean to me, but she was just like: don't do that. 

10. I got a new calling: Primary Chorister. 

I've always loved that calling. It was the calling I would pick if we could pick career callings. 

But then I taught RS, and that's my new favorite calling. I love teaching once a month. I love having to really dive deep into a conference talk. 

It's been so long since I've been in the primary realm. I feel super excited to get back into it. 

It was 2017ish since I was last in primary? So so much has changed since then including: 

Time - now we are only with the kids for less than an hour!

Amount - there have been so many people move away or leave the church since then. The primary is tiny now.

Economy - young families are not moving into our ward any more because the price of living and housing here has gotten so high. 

Roxanne is my pianist. woo hoo! 

Well. That's an even ten. I feel good about that, and will push publish. 

I just finished editing Avery's essay so I'm a little pooped, but meds have kicked in. 

Jim is flying home from Vegas. He is delayed an hour because all the mega rich people were in Vegas this weekend with their private jets watching the F1 race. 

ok bye

 

G GET to Dirt Church

There is so much to discuss lately. 

The world is so full of really terrible things and really great things. 

Dirt Church is when we walk in the wilderness and process it all. 

Here are some things to discuss lately:

1. Israel v Palestine: ie WWIII (THIS podcast)

2. Antisemitism, and why is it suddenly cool (I don't think it's cool, but a lot of idiots do and I can't understand it.  (THIS article helped me understand)

3. Grace (the book Original Grace)

4. Atonement (the book All Things New)

5. Elijah (this is one that Lisa and I keep coming back to over and over. She taught Malachi last year, then I taught "A Voice of Gladness" this year and then THIS podcast came along and leveled it up.)

6. Plato's Cave - it has to do with everything.

7. Ooh this is a good one too. Ties it all together: 

Just so much is going on. My head is spinning every day. 

It's such opposite things: spirituality vs current events of insanity. 

Both are intense right now. 

I'm balancing fear and faith I guess? 

Here's how it goes: I read/listen to something, and it is insane, or beautiful, or frustrating. I immediately send to Lisa. 

"have you listened to this yet?" 

"read this it's beautiful"

"Holy cow this article..."

"Adam Miller..."

etc

Then we get together, usually on a trail, and discuss. 

We call this "book clubbing"

If discussing could save the world, we would save the world. 

This journal blog is for me and also for my posterity. It's for my roots and branches. 

So I don't know who exactly I'm talking to when I write. But whoever you are, I need you to know that I know how lucky I am. Obviously I could make a list that goes on and on about my luck, but right now I want to specifically focus on the luck that is this friend of mine. To be able to send an article to her, and KNOW that she is going to: 

1. read it. 

2. meet me to discuss. 

3. add to it. 

This is my love language! 

Read what I send, and tell my your reaction. Let me tell you mine. 

Send me things you find and I will read! I will discuss. 

love. language.

S is for Stromboli

One time the missionaries came over and the mission leader made Sromboli for us. 

Now we make it all the time. It's a family favorite. 

RECIPE HERE

 

K is for How to KNOW

 

This is where we have scripture time. Smack dab in our bed. 

It is cozy but also squished. Koda is also in the bed. 

Sunday I said if they could tell me why the book of James is specifically important to our religion I would give them $5.00. 

I let them look everywhere throughout James. They came up with some great answers, but not THE answer. 

We talked about the origin story of our religion. 

We watched the video of The First Vision. 

If we have questions, we can ASK! This is a big deal. For so many years, people didn't know that they could go directly to the Father and ask. 

It's not often that the kids are invested in scripture time, but tonight was a good night. Andrew asked follow up questions. Questions like: So who is God? One person or two? 

Then he and Jim discussed the afterlife and the pre-existance. Andrew came up with an idea (that is basically reincarnation, but he didn't know it had a name.)

Then I said I would pay them $5.00 if they memorized James 1:5.

So far Avery and Evan are one or two words away from getting that five dolla. 

N is for NOT Even Close

The ending of soccer season and the beginning of daylight savings happens on the same weekend, so overnight our busy routine changes. It comes to a screeching halt.  

We are home with nowhere to be, and the sun goes own around 4:00 (give or take). 

 Suddenly we have one million hours of down time and it is GLORIOUS. 

Lately we play board games as a family.  

Like, we look at the clock and it's only 5:00, and we say "woah it's only 5:00?! who wants to play a game?"

 

Sunday we played Skyjo. Between turns, the kids went and made themselves cinnamon toast.

After the game was over, Jim went to the kitchen and saw what a giant mess the boys had left - crumbs, cinnamon, sugar - all over the counter and floor because they make their toast without using a plate to catch all those particles. 

So Jim gave a pretty good dad lecture about USING A PLATE, cleaning up after yourself. 

Then a few minutes later he quizzed Andrew - "So what are you going to do when you make cinnamon toast?"

Andrew responded earnestly: "Say thank you?"

Haha I DIED laughing. We all laughed silent laughs, fall to the ground laughs for 10 minutes. 

He obviously wasn't listening to a word. 

This is parenting. 

A is for YAYYYY

YAYYYY

We finished the soccer season and I feel like the whole world opened up. 

I used to hate winter (cold dark rain dark), but I'm realizing how great it is because the calendar is wiped clean. 

We have these soccer parties at the end of every season and the kids get the same medal every season. 

Andrew said "too bad it's a participation trophy". 

He's correct: it's a very very participation trophy because they didn't win one single game! 

But we had so much fun together and at practice it seemed like they learned a lot. 

(Game time looked like they had never met a soccer ball in their life.)

YAYYYY 

Avery got inducted into Honor Society. 

She's so smart. 

YAYYYY 

Evan had his first band concert with a new band leader, and I think they did so great.

They played a song that I actually recognize (Summertime). Evan played cymbals and the bass drum. 

Cymbals are not subtle. 

 

H is for HALLOWEEN

Those cowboy costumes make the giant boys look even older than they are. Like they are the dads taking the kids trick or treating.

haha I love that they still go out.  

We just wandered the neighborhood soaking up the atmosphere. 

We are no longer needed as moms, but we still like to dress up and wander around. 

It's the best night. 

The big candy trade.