The Big Bike School Upstairs

On the last day of Captain School, after he finished the last of his assignments and tests, Jim sent me this picture. 

Captain Jim. 

He came home and it was so luxurious to have him home. Pure luxury. 

Gold and diamonds and pearls of comfort to have him here to hug. 

It had been a scary and wild and lonely 12 days since he left. Relief when he walked in the door. 

Saturday me Lisa Jim Joe went to Galbraith for some Balm of Gilead.  

It felt so good to be back in our Saturday tradition. 

I asked the boys how their ride was when we met up back at the car, 

Joe said "therapeutic". 

Us gals ran to the overlook of El Pollo Elastico, and this beautiful scenery was there waiting for us. 

Is there not room enough in Adam andi ahman? 

We went home to our living room circled up, and Joe retold the whole awful, miraculous story. It was intense and sweaty to listen to.

There were so many levels of Hell. Dante's Inferno in the Yukon. 

Once Roland was taken via Ambulance, then jet, then helicopter to Vancouver, 

Joe Christine and Hans got a hotel room so they had access to a phone. 

Cell phones are obsolete up there, and Joe had to use a calling card. 

Dial a 9 to get out of the hotel, then the 800 number, then the calling card number, then the many hospital phone numbers. 

Over and over like a nightmare, he would dial the numbers. One hospital, then the next hospital, then the next. Hospitals all over the country - north south east west. None with any records of a Roland Stussi. 

Dial, dial, dial. Numbers numbers numbers. In a controlled panic. Tiny little numbers, over and over and over.

The bottom level of Hell. 

I sent this picture to Joe and Lisa when they were in the middle of Vancouver hospitals and house rentals. 

I sent this picture to Jim when he was in Florida in the middle of tests and sim sessions.

One Wednesday after soccer, I had gone to young womens, so Andrew was supposed to get a ride with the Wogans, but instead he jumped in the car with the Blacks. 

They went to dinner at Paso.

Lisa told me from the back seat Hunter asked Andrew "did you hear Roland got shot?"

And Andrew responded in the most metaphorical, vague way, 

"yes...so is he in the big bike school upstairs?"

and Hunter, who is Andrew's soulmate, somehow understood exactly what Andrew was referencing, and reassured, "no he's downstairs".

It's extra extra vague because Andrew was getting Roland confused with the other Uncle - Kyle. 

One time many years ago, Kyle had put on his roller blades and worked with Andrew in the back breaking work of bike riding school. Click here to see what they were talking about. 

I just love how the two boys spoke in riddles and understood in riddles. haha

Earlier this Sunday, I made tortilini soup. I made a lot of it. And tortilini soup doesn't age well. And Jessica is pregnant,

So I walked a pint of the fresh hot soup down to her house. I always feel uncomfortable dropping in on people, especially people who are pregnant and have small children. 

I knocked on the door and heard a patter of Maggie feet running to the door. 

I crouched down to her size and handed the pint to her little hands. I saw Jessica over there sitting on the floor behind the couch and I said "Here's some soup. You don't have to eat it. You can even throw it away if you want, just don't tell me."

Then I walked back home and asked myself "what did I just say?"

A few hours later Me and the Chambers drove to Roxanne's house to deliver this cake to her on her 44th birthday. When I got in the truck, Jessica said to me: "remember when you brought me some soup and told me I could just throw it away? What is wrong with you? Am I supposed to eat it or throw it away?" 

haha

Also, she was sitting in her underwear over there behind the couch, so see what I told you about drop ins? 

Garage band. Bea is the lead singer, but she's camera shy. 

We waited for Jim to come home to make caramel apples. 

He swept the back porch while we twirled and cooled the caramel.

One evening, when was Jim home and the world felt warm and cozy for a second, 

we gathered round the telly to watch Avatar. 

I warned everyone in the room:

"I don't know what this movie is about, and I don't know what's happening and I don't know who the people are, so don't ask. Ok everyone?"

And without skipping a beat, Andrew asked, "What's going on?" like a total smart alec. 

We laughed and laughed because do you know that he is his father's son? 

Life has come full circle:

One time when Jim was in cub scouts, his leader, Sister Fullmer explained the activity and said to the boys, "now I'm about to tell you everything we are going to do, so nobody better ask 'what do we do?'"

As soon as she finished explaining the details, and without skipping a beat, Jim asked "what do we do?"

Sister Fullmer sent Jim home. 

The Before and After

This isn't the story of what happened, because that's not my story to tell, but this is the story of my end of the trauma. This is what happened on Saturday when Lisa and I spent a lot of the day in waiting as the events unfolded.

There is the time between the "before" and the "after" that is like a holding of the breath between the known and the unknown.

Everyone is aware of the before, but nobody knows what the after is going to be, what it will mean, what it will cause. 

Friday:

Jim was still in Florida, the kids were at school, Joe was on a hunting trip.

Me and my gals went on a mushroom hike for Roxanne's birthday. 

I remember the exact curve in the trail near the end of the hike when Lisa just kind of exhaled the confession: "I just wish I knew where Joe was".

He goes hunting every Fall. But this time, she keeps saying things like: "this is a weird hunting trip".

He was out in the bush near the Yukon, and it's not abnormal to go days without hearing from him. 

So what was it that made her feel that this one was weird?

PS Jessica told us she's pregnant! Yay! 

Another "before", but one with a 9 month long wait for the "after".

That night we took our kids to Paso.

We sent this picture to Jim and Joe. They are usually here at Paso with us on a Friday night.

We walked down to ice cream. We walked back. 

It was an evening with so much of the usual stuff.

We made plans for a busy Saturday - I will take the soccer boys, you will take the girls to young women activity, then meet up at the soccer field. 

Saturday:

I pulled up to the soccer field with the boys, and Lisa called me.

Hands full, I answered on my watch.

"Am I on speaker phone?"

I put down my chairs and switch to my phone. She is crying 
"There was an accident. Roland got shot. I think he's alive. I don't know about Joe. Maybe they aren't telling me?" 

She breathes through some panic, and we talk through the shock. Then,

"Joe is calling me!"

We hang up. 

I wring my hands through both soccer games,

hoping maybe this isn't a big deal? Maybe Joe is calling to assure her it's all fine?

Soccer over, I bring the boys to Lisa's and we sit on the couch to debrief.

It is a lot of piecing together the timeline of events from what Joe told her in his trauma riddled, adrenaline filled body. Bits and pieces of their story come to us:

 The night before while they were processing the moose, there was an accidental firearm discharge and it hit Roland in the upper thigh. There was a tourniquet, it was a dark night, wind and trees falling. There was Christine holding Joe because they thought Roland had died. 

Lisa and I sit across from each other with our hands on our faces, covering our eyes, trying to make the information only partially enter our brains.

 

She keeps staring at her phone, like it is going to tell her something because every so often it DOES spring to life with answers and messages. 

Roland has been flown to Vancouver Hospital and is currently in a lengthy surgery. 9 hours.

We set mental timers for when we will find out more; around 2:30 we will know if Roland made it through. If his leg made it through. Then we will be in the after. For now we have to sit and not know. 

Lisa makes a phone call and is having a difficult conversation with her friend Andrew. I grabbed her foot for comfort. It was like I was holding her hand but it was her foot. You do weird things when trying to comfort someone in just the right way. 

While we are in this holding pattern, Joe Hans and Christine are in the most epic of holding patterns. They are driving two sprinter vans from Northern BC on the back roads for a 20 hour drive to Vancouver. 

Within those back roads are hours and hours of the dark side of the moon. There is no contact, no way to receive word on how Roland is doing. 

Lisa tells me she's stuck. Frozen. 

But she also needs to get out of the house. 

I get some pizza for the kids, then she and I go to the taco truck in Blaine.

We sit in the sun. 

Clouds come and go. Every so often when the sun shines on us, we close our eyes and look up. It feels like comfort. She says, "I feel like it's going to be ok. Even if it's not ok, it will be ok."

We eat giant burritos swaddled in tin foil, holding them like a cup of tea. 

She says "I'm thankful for this sun. I'm thankful for this burrito you bought me." 

We just need to get to 2:30, then we will know what the after is. 

We discuss all the miracles that have happened thus far, 

the "best case scenarios in a worst case scenario situation". 

It's like things were prepared for this terrible thing to happen. But if there is divine intervention, why didn't the intervening happen in the not happening of the thing? We are on a razor knife edge of complete tragedy and the complete absence of tragedy. 

The next thing to do is go to our homes and rest and wait, and wait for the covid test appointment in Bellingham (so that Lisa can get across the border). 

A few hours later she messages me:  Roland is out of the woods! He's not going to die in surgery. But still no word on his leg. 

I pick her up and drive to the airport test sight. 

The swab is stuck up her nose, and then we drive home. 

As we drive, we try to imagine how the sprinter vans on their twenty hour journey are doing. How are they feeling. How are they doing with the not knowing. How can they possibly stay awake? 

And then Lisa's phone is buzzing and it's Joe! It had been seven hours of driving before getting some service. 

She is able to tell him that Roland is alive and out of the woods and still in surgery. 

What a gift of a message to relay. 

After.

 

There is so much of the future that is unknown for them, 

but at least we are no longer holding in this particular wait. 

Every day there is a new before and after. It makes my heart break to watch my good friends go through this. It is a life changing "after". 

How much longer do I get to have this luxury of not being in the epicenter of tragedy. 

It's a dumb awful thought I have because there is nothing but tragedy all around me. 

Don't think about that though. Just pretend I didn't type that. 

Disney World

So we took our quarantine on the road. 

This is us at the hotel - finally - after a long day of traveling. 

Jim met us at the gate at the airport, and it was so fun to be with him again. 

We got our room, then wandered over to Disney Springs for some dinner. 

It started pouring rain while we were in the restaurant. 

Me and Avery promised we wouldn't complain about the heat, not one single bit while we were there because it's getting cold in Washington.

We broke that promise very quickly. Florida heat is for real. 

MAGIC KINGDOM

The kids were stoked on the monorail when the castle and rides came into view. 

Andrew was the resident expert for our group. So many times we would ask,

"Andrew, what's the Dinosaur ride like? Andrew, what rides are at Epcot? Andrew, Andrew...."

And he always had an accurate answer for us.

"That ride is the most immersive experience in the park, etc"

(he watches a lot of YouTube videos about theme parks)

Once he told me that having all the answers made him feel powerful.

Our favorite rides at Magic Kingdom were Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.

Evan was too afraid to go on these, darn it. We begged and pleaded and shamed and bribed, but he would not come along. He was too nervous.

Bummed me out. 

In the afternoon, we rode the monorail over to Epcot. 

I've always wondered about and wanted to visit this weird giant iconic ball of Epcot. 

There is the weirdest ride inside it that takes you through the history of paper and books.

Strangely, about a week earlier, Andrew asked me what the first book ever written was. 

After a few hours we headed back to Magic Kingdom to end the night.

Avery makes so much fun of me for this picture. Where am I looking? 

This was my favorite ride of the night - one last Splash Mountain in the dark. I love rides when you walk right on. 

We were so so tired at the end of the day. We rode the ferry to our car and it felt so good to sit like refugees on the floor. 

Oh man, when we got to the hotel, we were starving. 

We went to a little market to get some food, and they had this most delicious egg salad sandwich that I ate with such delight. 

It might be my most favorite meal of the whole trip, that egg salad sandwich on fluffy white bread. 

We scarffed our rag tag meal, then took a soak in the hot tub and pool. 

ANIMAL KINGDOM

The next morning we went to Animal Kingdom

That tree up there is so cool! So many animals carved throughout the trunk. 

We went on the safari first thing. It was so cool, but not Andrew's favorite. 

The Pandora area was so cool! 

That's where I would spend most of the day if I ever went again. 

This was the longest line ever. 

HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS

Halfway through the day, we made our way to Hollywood Studios.

We were so tired from walking to the car...I wasn't sure we had it in us to end the day at another park.

"We just need a rest, everyone."

We sat around and had a treat and boosted our batteries.

The Star Wars area was amazing. I don't even like Star Wars. 

It was similar to Diagon Alley with its immersiveness. 

We shared a blue milk while watching the storm troopers say things to the audience. 

We dared Andrew to go shake the trooper's hand, but he just stared at Andrew until Andrew ran away. 

This ride, flying that one ship of Hans Solo...what's it called? I can't remember...

but we all had jobs to do flying it, and you really did have to push buttons and steer and stuff.

I was in the back seat as an engineer. I was so busy taking pictures and looking around, I didn't realize I was leaving some buttons unpushed. Andrew yelled at me "ENGINEER! ENGINEER!" 

haha. That's when I started taking my job seriously. 

Ugg, Hollywood Studios was so fun, but it was also so crowded. We had to wait in long lines and we were at the tail end of our energy levels. 

Our last ride was Slinky Dog Dash and Evan finally joined us on a roller coaster! It was a good one to end the day on.

We limped home and spent the rest of the night in the pool.

The next morning we woke up at 4am and flew home and the drive home from Seattle was 3 hours of stop and go. 

We were so tired! But it was so fun. Four days of intense standing/walking and intense sitting (flying/driving).

It's so crazy that we did Disney World this year after our trip to Universal Studios earlier in the year.

Way back in February when Andrew asked if we could do Disney World, we said "nope, this is it. We will probably never return to Florida for this kind of thing."

We didn't know that a few months later Jim would be upgrading to captain and we would get kicked out of school for a week, and it would all fall into place.

What a crazy world.