Summer Solstice

The young women were doing an overnighter, backpacking into Baker Lake, 

so me and my friends went the day before to secure spots in the back country. 

I thought I was going to have to fight crowds for spots, but we were the only ones in the whole camp. I don't know why. It is the most perfect spot. 

Pretty much it was the most perfect awesome lovely fun camp trip ever.

I will never be able to write about it fully. It would be like taking a picture of the full moon - it is impossible.

We swam and explored the river, and drip dried in the sunshine, but mostly we talked and dozed in hammocks and laughed and just did nothing in the way you do nothing with the fullest heart of happiness. 

We sat on a log watching the sky change colors long after the sun went behind the mountain. Jessica told me that recently she found a dead owl with neat feathers and long claws. She didn't bring it over to my house because she thought she shouldn't bring a dead owl to my house.  

I leaned over and we touched foreheads. 

Because

why.

Of all the creatures she's brought to my door - dead or alive - why wouldn't she bring me an owl? She learned her lesson after that forehead touch. 

It was summer solstice, so we had a million hours of daylight. 

It never got dark, but when it finally did, the almost full moon rose above the trees and shone so bright on us. 

We danced and sang and laughed in a circle in the moonlight pretending we were doing a ritual of some sort, but it was just made up nonsense, but also the best solstice dance there ever was. 

In the late hours of mostly dark, a critter scratched around in the bushes and Jessica scrambled in without a flashlight and grabbed it. She is fearless and insane! 

A giant TOAD! It peed in my direction, and then she cuddled it skin to skin and said he was a good boy. She's crazy, did I mention. 

What if it was a skunk? Or any other freaky thing? 

We slept in our hammocks, circled up. 

I slept like a sleeping baby. In the wee morning hours, a tree crashed into the lake, and I slept through it.

There were screeching owlets, crying for their mama to bring them food. They were so loud.

In the morning, Das (who came along with us but camped in his own camp spot far away) took a picture of us.

We had to hike back to the trailhead, say goodbye to Lisa and Jessica, then shift gears to Young Women Leaders. The white van full of girls would pull up in the next 15 minutes and we would get to do it all over again the next night. 

Jimuary

It's been a wild couple of weeks around here. 

First, Jim got called into the bishopric. 1st councilor. 

Second, he is upgrading to captain. 

Two huge things colliding at the same time right around Father's Day. 

Avery was sick and didn't want to be in the picture, so this is what you get. 

We knew who the bishop was gonna be, but didn't know who the other councilor would be.

So of course you do all the speculating and guessing. 

We were very happy when it was announced Sean Riley was the 2nd Councilor. 

He's so chill and kind and willing. 

Joe ordained Jim as a high priest, so that was neat.

We were sitting there and the Stake fellas asked if there was anyone we wanted to ordain him? I guess it's a special thing? So Jim ran and fetched Joe. 

We bid a farewell to his favorite calling - ward clerk. 

They should call the clerk's office The Man Cave. 

They have a mini fridge in there and stuff. Always doing big important man things. 

Today he conducted and it was great. He was so handsome and natural up there. 

That's all fun and games, but the other big life changer we need to talk about is the upgrade to captain. 

So, you upgrade based on seniority. 

If there is an opening, you bid for it, and the most senior person gets it.

There are rarely openings for captains here in Bellingham.

If we lived anywhere else in the country, he would have been a captain years ago - probably a senior captain in most bases. 

But the Bellingham base (the only place we want to live) is just so full of older captains that aren't going anywhere.

So when the opening for a Bellingham Captain came along, we had to do some soul searching.

He is the number one (in seniority) First Officer, so that means we get to pick our exact schedule every month. Every day off we want, we usually get.  It's very nice to be senior.

Upgrading to captain means we would be at the very bottom of seniority. 

We get whatever crap schedule is left. Quality of life is in peril because we don't know what we will end up with.

Holidays, weekends, vacations...we get the last of the pick. 

It's a hard choice to make, right?

In the end, of course we upgrade. 

So what will his future day to day work schedule look like? I don't know! And that is a new sensation for me. 

Training starts in September. 

School's Out For Summer!

What a year! I feel like all things have been said. And also there are no words.

It's all contradictory:

so fast, so slow

so hard, so convenient,

so stressful, so pointless

so bleak, so hopeful.

The kids walked to Starbucks after school, so I played 

"SCHOOL'S OUT!" at the bus stop before they left. 

At the end of the day, with the big kids at Starbucks, Andrew didn't have anyone to wake him up at his stop. I had to call the bus driver and say "hey Andrew is still on the bus."

When I finally got Andrew back, he was so upset. He cried and yelled and looked for someone to blame. 

PS he usually sits by Bea and falls asleep on her shoulder. 

This is Andrew's COVID class. 

Mrs. Weeda and all these kids were his first grade class. They had such a beautiful dynamic going, and then out of the clear blue sky in March, they had to end it all and go home for the rest of the year. It made me cry a lot because I love this class so much.

But then for the next school year, Mrs. Weeda moved up to second grade, and most of the kids moved with her. It was like they got a second chance to be together. But also half the year was spent online...so they have been through a lot together.

Near the end of the school year, there was buzz about who had a crush on who. 

Andrew told me about two students that had a crush on each other, then he said, "if you think that's weird, wait till you hear this: Johanna has a crush on me." (Johanna is the girl sitting at his feet)

Also a few months ago a new kid came to their class. Elliot. 

He is the boy standing next to Andrew in the blue hoodie. 

He and Andrew became fast friends. I think this is Andrew's first experience having a true buddy at school. He would get this great smile on his face every time he talked about Elliot. 

He also told me "the first time Elliot walked into the classroom, I thought to myself, 'how can one kid be so cute". haha

Later we went to pick up the kids from Starbucks. 

It was such a fun atmosphere down there - so much excitement for the next season of life. 

All The Things I Love

I love Jim the most.

On his birthday, we went mountain biking. As you know, we do NOT ride the same trails. Actually, I ride DOWN the trails he uses to CLIMB the mountain.  

We brought Koda with us. She becomes a major spazz when her sheep split up. Her shepherd instincts cannot deal. So when Jim and I went our separate ways, her brain exploded, so we got back together and rode down my wimpy baby trails. 

Jim in the lead, me far behind, and Koda running back and forth between us to make sure we are accounted for, I had such a blast. 

At the end of Huff and Puff, Jim said "That wasn't not fun" which is a positive, if you do the math. 

Then we went home and fetched the kids and went to dinner at Burnt Ends.

Later that evening our friends came over for cake. 

Jim is the comfort blanket, the good time, the logic and the reason. 

The other thing I love the most is going to beautiful places with beautiful friends. 

This week we adventured to Lake 22. 

The hike itself followed one million waterfalls on the way to the lake, 

and when the lake emerged, it literally took our breath away. 

There are another million waterfalls on this rock face. 

I love these friends. I don't deserve such gems. That is the generic but true statement. 

Here is the specific: We have a thing called "back seat therapy". 

Whoever is sitting in the back seat (by chance! we don't do it on purpose) ends up bringing up the hard/yucky things in their life and we rally around the hard and help the Back Seater examine it, process it, validate it. We don't always fix the problem, but fixing isn't the purpose. 

This back seat phenomenon also happens while walking along the trail. I think it has to do with everyone facing forward, moving forward, with nothing else to distract us, and no one looking us in the eye. 

The Back Seater feels safe to talk about all the vulnerable things.  

I was the Back Seater yesterday.

There is a myth about me, and it is that I am always confident and always self assured. 

But once in a while I need reminded that I am needed and loved. I think this is normal a human thing, but when it sneaks up on me, my brain panics. 

I fear I will be alone. I fear I am annoying or white noise.

I usually go to Jim and have him remind me that I have a secure place in his heart. 

My thinking brain knows it's embarrassing and silly, but my lizard brain needs to make sure. 

So yesterday we were at Padden; the dogs went this way and the kids went that way.

Us moms were walking along, and I started crying. I covered my face with my hands and cried, which is such a strange place for me and Lisa and Roxanne. 

But my friends circled around me and said my name. 

I remember from behind my hands they said, "Oh Kelli!" 

I was ridiculous, but they hugged me. 

A forest hug.

I got it all out of my brain, out into the trail, all that strange fear and whatever it was.

Then we lost some kids and had to backtrack around the lake a few times.

 But we found them!

We found them. 

 I swear me and my friends do more than just have therapy sessions. 

We have fun that doesn't always include examining feelings. haha. 

Last week we messed around at Berthusen Park. We battled to see who could hang the longest. 

See my face? I am literally pretending I'm on Survivor. 

This is the week we no longer needed to wear masks at church. 

The rule is if you are vaccinated you don't have to wear them, and to me that means the children also don't have to wear them. So my kids were sitting there without masks on, and a person came up to us and yelled at Lisa "GET MASKS ON YOUR KIDS!" 

I was in a meeting, so I wasn't there when it happened, but what an exciting time of life we are in, right? So much passion for big important things from grown men. 

Blah.

Seconds after that, Bishop announced from the pulpit that masks aren't required for the vaccinated, but also we are NOT going to POLICE each other. We are not going to check vaccination records. We are just going to be kind to each other. 

But the part about all this that I love is Andrew settled in with the Blacks, his second family. He tried sleeping on Hunter's lap, and then Lisa's lap. And they don't bat an eye.  

Let's end this post with a few "things I love quickies":

Random neighborhood critter show and tell from Jessica,

Weekly Young Women get togethers, 

(Wednesdays are actually stressful, but I would way rather be in this place of gathering vs last year's place of separation). 

and playing games with Andrew. 

He is a hoot.