So Proud

This picture took so long to upload I almost said "never mind I don't feel like writing."

But then it uploaded.

I subbed in Evan's class today and I cannot get over what an amazing student he is. 

He is cream of the crop. 

They have an incentive program called "self manager". If you get 20 self manager cards, you become a Self Manager and you get extra privileges and stuff. 

Evan was the third kid to become a Self Manager, and so far the only boy to accomplish such a thing (along with only two other girls). 

He was so proud the day he came home and told us about it. 

Today they were doing a reading packet about Three Billy Goats Gruff. 

He kept getting called out to the hall by other teachers**, so when he finally came back in and was able to work on his packet, he was among the first to finish.

This is sooo Evan. He is ON TASK. He likes to be first done. And thankfully, he does his work with accuracy. 

**Mr. Crabtree was one of the teachers that called him out to the hall. All the second grade teachers were having a meeting, and he took Evan into the room full of teachers and had him read a section of a book. They all watched him as he applied reading strategies to figure out difficult words. 

Evan came in and told me he was so so nervous. 

This is not to say that slow finishers are bad students, because on the other hand: my Avery. 

I subbed in her class last week, and during reading time, she had to finish a math test because she still had two pages left to do. 

I asked Mrs. Lawrence about this and if we should be concerned with Avery's time management, and Mrs. Lawrence said, "it's just her personality. She's slow but very accurate, so I'm not worried."

The two children could not be more different. 

Avery has been such a helper while Jim is gone. She is so reliable and willing (albeit sllloooowwww). 

Tonight I read with Evan and asked her to referee Andrew cleaning up the legos, then read with him.

As me and Evan sat on the top bunk reading, Avery was patiently trying to get the 5 year old to clean up, but the situation escalated to tears and yelling. Avery ran to her room and locked the door, while Andrew stood at her door yelling things like: 

"fine, go away! leave me alone!" (even though he is the one standing by her door)

"fine!" (and he tried to slam his door shut but didn't have much power behind the 'slam')

Me and Evan sat up there giggling at him in his sweet little rage. At one point he bit Avery's door knob.

haha Andrew...He will say something to me, then repeat it in a whisper to himself. 

His high little voice, his skinny little naked limbs when he gets himself dressed...

Turns out those skinny little arms start to get big and full when they get to about second grade. 

Evan seems so giant to me lately. At night when I'm ushering him along down the hall to get his teeth brushed (you know, so he doesn't get distracted along the way), his arms are like a normal human being's arms. When did that happen.

So anyway, that top picture is of us today, blowing my half day sub pay on Paso del Norte rice and beans. 

I Was Right

Chronologically, this post is all over the place. Keep up.

I WAS getting sick. I did get sick. The gastrointestinal kind.

I spent the entire yesterday in bed sleeping. I dragged myself out to get Andrew on the bus, then I went back to sleep. 

Then Jim came home from work, and the kids came home, and I slept and slept. 

Then Jim put the kids to bed and I slept and slept and slept all night. 

I woke up today feeling better, just sluggish.

This morning, Jim went to Vegas to do his bi-yearly proficiency check and ground school. He will be gone until Tuesday.

Tonight I dragged all three kids to Pack Meeting. Turns out I really like being den leader.

That picture of the Peace Arch is of my Bears a few weeks ago, visiting a historical site. That monument is in memoriam of the Treaty of Ghent and the ending of the War of 1812. 

Earlier today, I got me and Andrew all dressed and ready to go grocery shopping because the shelves are bare around here, but in doing so, I sapped all my energy. Instead I lay on the couch and watched "Planet Earth II: Deserts" while Andrew drew pictures and played legos. 

About a week ago, there was an ice storm in Houston, and Nettie sent us these pictures of a bird, dead in her tree.

It's pretty gruesome, but that bird is impaled on the branch! 

Turns out, another bird, the Loggerhead Shrike, kills and stores its food like this. This way other predators are unlikely to get to it. 

So I'm laying there watching Planet Earth, and guess what? it features the Loggerhead Shrike and shows lots of different animals - lizards, mice - hanging on the spikes of branches. 

The British narrator says something like "it is a great way to store food, even if it is a bit macabre."

Macabre indeed. 

Which brings me to this:

The Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. 

Have you ever heard of it? 

You will now.

It is the phenomenon that says once you hear of something new,  it will suddenly show up over and over in your life, and you will notice it everywhere!

Basically your brain gives that new/cool thing selective attention, and without meaning to - you look for more of that new thing. That's the logical reason, and I do this ALL THE TIME. 

I look for threads. I thread themes together. I did it on Sunday about 10 times. 

So, I wonder if in the next week you will see one of the following crop up in your daily life:

 The Treaty of Ghent

or 

Loggerhead Shrike

or 

macabre.

Maybe?

I Like This Poem

"and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you"

- I like the nonsense of it. 

I like that the moon has always meant something, duh.

I like that the sun always sings - it really does. 

I like the sing song of the repeating words.

Something good from today: My legs are properly wrecked from a good work out. 

My house is clean - the new living room situation is still containing messes into that one room - and I make the children clean it before bed time.

All the laundry is put away. Evan LOVES helping fold laundry. He was upstairs playing MineCraft and I called out "Evan, I'm folding laundry!"

and he exclaimed as he ran down the stairs, "Oh yay! Avery you can play MineCraft for me". (but Avery was at Bea's house playing legos.)

Andrew drew Pokoyo characters all morning and didn't want to get on the bus because "I want to keep drawing," but then he was happy once he got buckled in.

Jim is mountain biking in the cold, dark mountains with Joe.

Something not so good: I thinnnnnk I might be getting sick. I feel run down, but maybe that's just because it's the end of a day.

Doing bedtime solo is always a hairy half hour, but we did it. I read with Evan and Avery read with Andrew. All the teeth are brushed. Andrew is still tossing and turning beside me. 

Andrew, Go to Sleep

OK, so every night when we put the kids to bed, one of us has to lay by Andrew until he fall asleep. Eye roll. But it's also a good time to lay in the dark and have a rest. (not without my phone of course - also eye roll).

So I'm thinking I might blog while I wait for him to fall asleep. It's the perfect time. Perhaps I will just write something good and something not good from my day. I don't know. We'll see. 

But today, I have so many thoughts in my head! I don't even know if I can get them all down clearly in a way that makes sense. 

Let's start with this:

I came across this image today and it was so poignant because both Sunday School and Relief Society were full of good discussion...lots of tender thoughts. 

In Sunday School, we were talking about Abraham 2, talking about the universe and planets, and of course I can't keep my mouth shut when it comes to that stuff, especially in January. 

Making comments in class is so weird because what you have to say in your head is never what comes out of your mouth...but basically I talked about THIS, which is my favorite topic of conversation in March. 

And then in Relief Society, we were discussing the talk by Elder Holland about being perfect...eventually. And we were talking about grace and forgiveness and we were kind of trying to figure out how to pin the idea of "grace" into one thought,  and the image I get when I think of forgiveness is THIS story...about the time that I pulled Evan out of the water at Semiahmoo...I'll sum it up, but for a few days after the incident, I couldn't sleep because I would go back to that place and do that thing that moms do where we relive and question and wonder "what if?"...and my mind wouldn't stop. I felt this need to be forgiven. I woke up Jim, crying, telling him I was sorry. But that wasn't it. I didn't need his forgiveness, and he didn't blame me for anything.

I didn't need Evan to forgive me. 

But I needed someone to take these feelings from me. I just kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

So then I prayed and asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness, and it was like someone took the obsessive thoughts from me and I was able to sleep and let it go. 

That is grace. I didn't necessarily do something wrong, but that burden of self loathing was lifted from me and I could rest. 

And then Lisa added some connections to how Evan is like us mortals here on earth and lots of other good stuff and it was fabulous. 

So when I saw that Shel Silverstein image - I was like "yes!" 

except the opposite of the image because instead of encouraging me to cut off my "tender thoughts", my friends add water and sunlight and make them grow and flourish more than ever.

And THEN my mom texted me and my sisters: 

"I'm so thankful you girls have good friends. I miss my friends from home."

And I am thankful too. 

Anyway. 

To sum up, lets list something good from my day (besides the above):

Tonight we were in our new living room, and Jim turned on an episode of Planet Earth II. We sat together watching a baby iguana run from a bunch of snakes. As a family we were rooting for that iguana to make it to safety. And we came full circle from the Sunday School lesson about how amazing this Planet Earth is. 

Something not so good from the day: 

Honestly, we had such a good day. Not a lot of fighting...kids went to bed easy. Hmmmm. It was super windy last night and all day. The house almost blew over. 

I'm 38

"I'm getting old. My neck isn't the same as it used to be."

That's the first thing I typed for this blog post. I highlighted it, ready to click delete, but then I kept it. 

For my birthday this year, I celebrated for days. 

On the 11th, me and Jim went out to eat and shop while the kids were at school.

On the 12th, I hung around in a quiet house while everyone was at work/school, then that night I rigged it so that after Bailey's bday party was over, Jim and the boys met at the Blacks and we had a Black-Larsen hang out until bed time. When we got home, the kids and Jim ran into the house, turned off all the lights and yelled surprise! when I walked in. There were flowers and candy and presents on the table. 

On the 13th, me and Lisa went downtown Vancouver to watch an orchestra at the Orpheum (this was actually a Christmas gift from Jim and Joe scheduled right near my birthday, so it felt like a double whammy).

On the 16th, me, Lisa, and Emily went out for some steamed milk at Woods Coffee. Then we talked for two more hours parked in the driveway in my car. 

All month long, I have been thinking, "I should blog every day. That would be fun." because I always think of things I want to say, but then I forget it. My memory is so shoddy. 

Like just now. I would write about how today I mopped the floor, and how tonight Evan spilled his chocolate milk all over that same floor. I made him wipe it up over and over. Inevitably when I mop someone spills sugar liquid on that shiny clean floor. 

But let me tell you about something wonderful. We got couches upstairs...

and a TV, so it's like we added another entire living space to our house. Which is all fine and good, but the best part is, we all hang out in that room together way often (there is a table for me to puzzle on), and the downstairs is left empty. 

That means we exit the kitchen. We are not hanging around the kitchen our entire life. 

LIFE CHANGING.

I feed the kids, 

I clean the kitchen, 

we exit the kitchen.

The kitchen stays clean until the next time 

I feed the kids.

The downstairs is clean. 

The kitchen is clean.

I do not hate cleaning the kitchen or the living room because IT STAYS CLEAN.

The solution to having a clean house is:

REMOVE ALL CHILDREN FROM THE AREA.

PLUS.

The upstairs is so cozy and warm and inviting. The toys invite imagination. 

The TV and couch invite movie watching. 

In the dark winter months, this has been the best of solutions. 

Because...we are in January. Which means I am fine, we are all fine,

but it is the season that I must take *Vit D, Fish Oil, B Complex* to keep the demons away. 

Also, looky here. 

Remember I have had acne pretty much my whole life and I hate it?

Well, in June I started using Rodan and Fields Unblemish, and I can't believe my skin. I'm not getting paid to say this, but the difference is amazing. 

You can't even totally tell in these pictures, but I can tell. 

No more acne, and my scars are fading, and I grew some eyebrows. 

This is me at 38, trying to preserve my youth. 

This is me at 38, getting super excited when Jim comes home from work and joins me on the new couch, waiting for the kids to get home from school. 

Andrew is 5

Andrew's birthday was a fun and busy day. 

He started by writing his name with magnets,

then we went looking for a couch for our upstairs bonus room. 

He had friends coming over for a birthday party at noon, so we were kind of crunched for time. We went to a real furniture store, then we went to Costco. 

It was Costco for the win in the couch department. They had the most perfectly exact couch we were looking for, for half the price. 

We double fisted some hot dogs and pizza while talking logistics on how to get the couches home. (they don't deliver)

Some of our friends were waiting, parked outside our house when we got home - ready for the party!

While we partied, Jim rented a UHaul and brought the couches home. 

It was a fun party that left the house in utter destruction. 

When the big kids got home from school, we sang and had cake. 

Andrew got his Lightning McQueen costume! He was so adorable. He put it on and then crawled around the room saying "vroom vroom!"

Jim got the couches set up, and we hung around in our 

waste-of-space-play-room

turned 

amazing new cozy living room - more on that later because it is life changing.

And now, some things about Andrew:

Who's your best friend? "Uhhh...Jaiden (from school) I don't think we are going to Jaiden's house."

Toy? "Lightning McQueen."

Who's your teacher? "Teeeacchhhherrrrr Andrea. (he also whispers) "teacher Pluhoff" (from church)

Tell me about school: "No-ping" (I love how he says nothing. with a P.)

What do you like to do with your family? "No-pin. We go to Owen's house! Owen live in January."

Favorite food? "rice and beans. how do you spell rice and beans?" (I spell it for him. he asks me how to spell things every 15 minutes. Every time he goes to the bathroom he asks me how to spell different words)

He just showed me that he can make a "lower-case N" with his fingers. He always makes letters with his fingers. A, H, lower-case R, W, T, X.

Andrew is a licker. It's his 7th sense. One time we walked into Perch and Play, and he slid his tongue along the gum ball machines.

We watched a lot of Home Alone around Christmas time. One day Andrew took some liquid soap and squirted it on the stairs like Kevin. That was the day that we stopped watching Home Alone. 

He says "fush the door" instead of shut the door.

All my kids are good at playing, but Andrew is the champion. He will play for hours and hours with legos or cars or any toy. 

Yesterday (and often) he colored his nose with black marker, and drew "fur" on his hands and feet and called himself a ware wolf.

One day he was a cat. He was doing something naughty (can't remember what), so I yelled at him "Andrew, no no! Don't do that!" and he yelled back at me - close to tears "I not Andrew! I'm Cat!"

One day a kid in our neighborhood (Savvy) hit Avery in the arm with his backpack on their walk from the bus stop. She came home and told me about it, pretty upset.

Andrew walked out the door, went over to Bea's house, and knocked on her door. When she answered, Andrew told her "Avery hates Savvy". 

haha. funny/not funny. Bea came over and told us what Andrew had said. 

Andrew is the most lovable little misfit. He is super visual. He can duplicate anything he sees in drawing, lego-sculpture, or craft. He is polite and quirky. He loves fruit. 

While I have been typing this, he created a whole village out of duplos. I just asked him what he made, and he said "Radiator Springs."

2017 Year in Review

As I scrolled through pictures this year, it was so hard to not post every single memory. 

We had a year of family vacations: Seattle, Disneyland, Hawaii, camping, yellow house, Whistler.

We saw lots of family: St. George, Fallon, Chicago, Ogden (2x).

I ran a tri, a half, and a trail half.

It's fun to watch the seasons change through the year. We started out with ice and snow, then end the year with a bit more snow and cold - with all the warmth and sweat and dirt in between.

JANUARY

Ice!

I forgot we used to do preschool. These kids seem so little. 

Evan was toothless for a month or so. That's a sign of a first grader.

FEBRUARY

The snow would not stop! School was cancelled on Evan's birthday. 

MARCH

Accidentally being with the Kelvingtons at Disneyland is on my list of top five favorite things that happened in 2017. 

We always try to have a Padden night in the freezing winter. It's just not the same. 

Andrew started real preschool and has changed so much!

APRIL

Warming our freezing bones in the precious Hawaii sun is another top 5.

I remember this day because it was the day we officially declared winter is OVER!

MAY

Larsens in St. George!

We got to hang out with Joe and Susan twice this year. 

This trip to Ogden was such a relaxing vacation even though we ran 13 miles. Ha! Running a half marathon is sinchy compared to being a mom. 

Mom-ing is hard! In 2017, Jim and I really had to dig deep trying to figure out how to raise kids. It's pretty much impossible, so by the end of the year, my conclusion is: it doesn't really matter what techniques or strategies I attempt. They are who they are, and as long as I provide the basics of a loving home, they will be what they will be. 

For a while I was a bit nihilistic in my approach to motherhood: What I do DOES NOT MATTER!

but I eventually put a more positive spin on it and continue with the belief that the trajectory my kids are on is 80% out of my control, but the 20% that I do control will be focused on providing healthy food, warm home, clean clothes, love (between rampages), and good books. 

See? You get a medal for running 13 miles, no matter how fast or slow you do it.

There are no medals for doing laundry for 13 hours. 

I love my yard! I love my garden. 

JUNE

Everyone Brave is Forgiven was my favorite book of the year. 

This page in particular...I pretty much threw the book across the room and got in fetal position because I couldn't handle how perfect this part was. 

JULY

I can't choose one part of summer that I loved the most, so I'm just going to say the ENTIRE summer is on my top 5 favorite of the year. Kind of a cop out, but I could barely handle looking through the summer pictures. I loved sun up to sun down, outside, dirty, sweaty, with friends, and a group shower to end the day. 

This picture sums up the 4th of July: combining kids and blow torches. 

Yellow House! 

A Kelvington layover on our way to Fallon.

The Sorensen Silly Show gets honorable mention.

My garden gets honorable mention.

Turning Padden night hikes into a group bike ride around the lake is top 5.

The art of boredom: camping 2017.

AUGUST

Whistler!

Weekly beach days...

SEPTEMBER

Going back to school was so hard for me...but not for them. They were stoked.

We discovered how fun it is to bike around the zoo.

This is where we were when my parents opened their mission call. 

We listened in via FaceTime.

OCTOBER

Sisters in Target!

Chicago baby!

Evan turns into an athlete. 

NOVEMBER

Trail run through the snow is the last of the top 5. 

I loved it so much and am especially proud of how much faster I was this year than last. 

I found these on my car one morning.

The discovery of Perch and Play for the winter months gets honorable mention.

DECEMBER

We were able to eek out a family picture in time for Christmas cards. 

Andrew took off with drawing and letters. I didn't help him with this at all. 

This page features the letter B:

The colorful circles are Balloons,

the green scribble at the bottom is a Bush,

and the brown guy is a Bear. 

What a full year! I feel so lucky and thankful to have all this goodness in my life.