$%@*@#*&%!!

That's right... SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR!! Actually I don't know if I should be swearing or crying. My 8 mile long run turned into a 2 mile limp/jog and a mile walking home cussing and swearing the whole way. WHY?!? Why can't I do this any more?!?  I'm just SO angry. I feel SO depressed right now. It's not my shins this time... it's some muscle that starts on the top of my right foot and goes up the outside of my leg. It was KILLING and I could not get it to stretch out this morning. I guess it's been going on for a while now, but I thought I was just my legs getting back into the motion.

All I want to do it run. I never thought I'd say it... but I do. I've never been able to accomplish anything as hard as running has been for me... but I did it! I did it on my own. I did it even though John told me I couldn't. It was something I was proud of. I've done 13 different races and LOVED every one of them... why can't I keep doing this?!? I just want to cry... and then PIG OUT on anything I can get my hands on.

All I keep thinking is SCREW IT! What's the point of even trying any more. I might as well just get fat and lazy, cause that's apparently all my body wants to do. This sucks!

I'm going to go shower, ice my leg and watch TV until the kids get home. And I'll probably go out again on Wednesday...just to prove I'm broken.  :oP

... but I don't want to be broken... I want to run. :o(