[Not Really] Sorry.


Sunday, October 9, 2011

Mall People Suck

Sometimes the mall is much better than the circus, Walmart, and the state fair put together. The people watching is most entertaining and worth while. For instance, as I was walking through the mall I noticed that one guy had a firm hand on his junk. I know that is the gangster thing to do nowadays, but really? What does that say to a prospectively attracted females looking at you? It is very unlikely that any female on an evolutionary-based subconscious level would think "You are clearly alpha male by the way you hold your junk. Your seed will make a nice addition to my uterus and/or gene pool." They are more likely to think "Ew! That guy has herpes!" I'm not exactly a dating expert or a chick-magnet of any sorts, but that seems to be the exact opposite of the desired result.

I thought girls at the bar were the most desperate for attention until I walked through Fashion Place Mall on a busy Saturday afternoon. Teenage girls and women old enough to know better, were dressed as if they were trying to take the gold medal in the presitgious but fictional Prostitute Olympics. Aside from the obvious cries for attention by the way they dress, their behavior was also loud and obnoxious. Normally, this would be expected at a bar where alcohol heavily influences the loud and the obnoxious. At the mall, there is no excuse. These women were just as loud and animated as possible without the obvious influence of alcohol or drugs. Instead, they were drunk on the aspect of attracting glances and head turns from passing by men. An optimist might try to explain this as "friends having a good time." This might be the case in girls ranging from ages 12-19 years old. However, I was seeing this behavior with women who were well into their 40's while wearing shirts that were cut so low,there was almost no point in wearing the shirt at all.

Don't even get me started on kids running through the mall unattended. It was an obstacle course of children of all ages. It took all my concentration, hand-eye coordination, and stamina to avoid trampling over kids like a bulldozer. I'm not a big guy either. But if I'm afraid of stepping on kids like they were common midgets (joking), there are probably too many of them in my way. When I was growing up, my parents never allowed that. They were fierce advocates of me not getting trampled in public places. Thanks, mom and dad.

I hate going to the mall and avoid it if I can. But I try to take something positive from it, like watching the behavior of hopeless morons and then blogging about them later.

That makes it bearable.

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