THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 Originally posted 8/20/2018

 

When actor-turned-filmmaker Del Tenney made a deal to direct some drive-in fodder for the teen crowd, one of the all-time trash classics he fooled around and came up with was the delirious THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (1964).

Though made in the 60s, it contains surefire elements from the biggest teen hits of the 50s--rock and roll, monsters, hot rods, teen angst, and bad comedy--and mixes them with then-current stuff like bikini beach scenes and even a good deal of H. G. Lewis-style gore a la "Blood Feast."

Done in an amateurish yet freewheeling, dumb-fun style that packs in as much of the above elements as it will hold and, unlike many grade-Z flicks, doesn't let up for a minute, the result is a movie that's often funny, creepy, and refreshingly entertaining in spite of itself.

The very first minute of the film features drag racing and motorcycles--courtesy of an actual local bike gang--along with the first of six goofy rock and roll songs by the Del-Aires (in what was billed as "the first horror monster musical.")

We see Hank (John Scott) arguing with his girlfriend Tina (Marilyn Clarke) as they pull into the parking lot of the local beach, where Tina is intent on living it up while Hank insists they begin to act their age. The beach party sequence is real "poor man's" Frankie and Annette stuff, filmed in dreary black and white on a beach in Connecticut and interspersed with some of the worst comedy dialogue exchanges ever.

Meanwhile, fast-chick Tina goes nuts, bumping and grinding to "The Zombie Stomp" with a greasy-haired biker amidst the bikini-clad onlookers and prompting Hank to release his violent side as a big poorly-choreographed fight breaks out.

When Tina runs off into the ocean to escape Hank's disdain, she's attacked and ripped to pieces (and splattered liberally with Bosco chocolate syrup) by a horrific amphibian creature that has recently been created when some radioactive waste carelessly dumped into the water got mixed up with the sodden bodies of recently-drowned sailors.

These monsters (they grow in number with every scene) are real lulus of bad creature design, looking like poor relations of the Black Lagoon creature with ping-pong-ball eyes and what appear to be big bundles of hot dogs sticking out of their mouths.  But just the fact that such relatively elaborate costumes were made for this low-budget flick is impressive.

The rest of THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH becomes a series of monster attacks in the nearby small town with Dr. Gavin (Allan Laurel), his apprentice Hank, and his daughter Elaine (Alice Lyon), now Hank's prospective girlfriend after the untimely death of Tina, applying all their scientific skills to helping the local cops find a way to track down and destroy the creature menace.

This allows Tenney and company to stage a progression of delightful creature carnage sequences which include an all-girl slumber party massacre, three girls on their way to New York getting tragically sidetracked (the wisecracking blonde in this segment is actually quite funny), and a couple of drunks stumbling their way into the path of the monsters.  (One of the drunks is actor Wayne Tippit of "JFK" and "Nurse Betty", perhaps the only recognizable face in the film.) These scenes include not only lots of fake blood but some nicely-done gore makeup.

While all this is going on, we're treated to the high-jinx of Dr. Gavin's matronly black maid Eulabelle (Eulabelle Moore--yes, that was her real name) going around fretting "It's the voodoo, that's what it is!", and an increasingly ridiculous scientific investigation that results in the good guys hurling handfuls of sodium at the finny fiends.  (The resulting fish-fry pyrotechnics are pretty well done.)

The Severin Blu-ray itself is a 2k scan from the original negative and, needless to say, looks way, way better than I've ever seen it before. (And probably way more uncut, too.)

Severin, as usual, comes through with the bonus features as well, including archival footage of Del Tenney himself discussing his career in general and this film in particular.  "Return to Party Beach" is an informative retrospective documentary, while another featurette offers two of the Del-Aires with an interview and a live performance of "The Zombie Stomp."  In "Shock and Roll", filmaker Tim Sullivan discusses rock and roll horror movies.  The film's trailer is also included.

There are a lot of "so bad it's good" movies out there, with some of them being only passably entertaining with brief moments of fun amidst long stretches of boredom.  THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH, on the other hand, has a kind of magically bad quality that makes it total, almost giddy fun from start to finish.  This one's got everything and lots of it, and watching it makes me feel like a kid at the drive-in again.


Buy Blu-ray or DVD from Severin Films

THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

THE CRAZIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 6/14/10

 

Executive producer George Romero's 2010 remake of his 1973 classic THE CRAZIES is tinged with the usual political undertones that he's known for, but that stuff doesn't really mean all that much to me.  (The government sometimes does secret bad things?  Get outta here.  DAWN OF THE DEAD is a wicked jab at consumerism?  Jeepers.)  What interests me is the fact that, in addition to being an effective horror movie with lots of cool makeup FX and gore, THE CRAZIES redux is also a cracking good action-suspense flick.

In an opening that's almost as picture-perfect as the first minutes of BLUE VELVET, we see the idyllic small town of Ogden Marsh, Iowa on the opening day of the high school baseball season.  As young sheriff David Dutton (Timothy Olyphant, LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD, HITMAN) and his lanky deputy Russell (Joe Anderson) enjoy the game, they notice something amiss--a rumpled, dazed-looking man with a shotgun has just wandered onto the field.  It's an old acquaintance, Rory Hamill, but it seems he isn't himself today.  And when he levels the shotgun at them, David has to put him down like a dog right there on the pitcher's mound. 

Elsewhere in town, in a scene right out of INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, David's wife Dr. Judy Dutton (Radha Mitchell, PITCH BLACK, SILENT HILL) is examining a man whose worried wife claims he "isn't himself."  Later that night he'll prove it by burning down their house with her and their son Nicholas in it.  David and Russell investigate the growing epidemic of savage homicides and discover a crashed airplane in a lake that supplies the town's drinking water, surmising that its cargo must've contained some kind of mind-altering chemicals.

Sure enough, their town soon gets locked down by scary military types in hazmat suits and people start getting executed and incinerated.  With dozens of bloodthirsty crazies running around and armed soldiers shooting anything that moves, the unaffected characters decide it's time to get the hell out of Dodge.  But will they make it?

The story does a good job of building tension with the initial incidents of irrational murder, some being committed by characters (the school principal, the medical examiner) we already know to be normal, everyday shlubs.  As the mayhem escalates, so does the fear factor, with some pretty good jump scares here and there and some rather grisly sights such as a man with his mouth and eyelids sewn shut.  The worst of the crazies is a trio of hunters who take advantage of their wonderful new lack of inhibitions to engage in a full-scale people hunt in which they bag more than their limit. 

The film begins to resemble Stephen King's THE STAND when the military moves in and starts rounding up the citizenry, holding them in pens at the high school and restraining those who display any possible signs of infection.  One of the most nerve-wracking scenes occurs when Judy,  her teenage assistant Becca (Danielle Panabaker), and several others are strapped to gurneys when one of their former neighbors wanders in with a pitchfork and starts ventilating them.  David has his own problems when the medical examiner attacks him with an electric bone saw and comes close to giving him a humdinger of a circumcision.

One suspenseful setpiece follows another as David, Judy, Russell, and Becca set off on foot to try and reach the safety of a truck stop where they believe the town's unaffected citizens are being protected.  Procuring an old patrol car at the Dutton home (where they run into the vengeful survivors of the Hamill clan), they flee from a passing helicopter by ducking into a car wash where the service is to die for.  And as if that weren't enough, things get even more complicated when one of their group slowly begins to get a little...crazed.

Impressive direction by Breck Eisner and some beautiful camerawork, which makes the most of some panoramic vistas in Iowa and Georgia, highlight the film's impeccable production values.  The story is simple, straightforward, and fast-paced, slowing down only a bit in the second half before the survivors reach the truck stop where the final desperate battle against the worst of the crazies takes place.  But the film has one last trick up its sleeve after that, with a slam-bang finale boasting some dazzling CGI and edge-of-your-seat excitement. 

The DVD from Anchor Bay is in 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen and Dolby 5.1 sound, with English and Spanish subtitles.  Extras include a director's commentary, three making-of featurettes, a look at Rob Hall's grisly makeup effects, two chapters of "The Crazies" motion comic, a step-by-step demonstration of how some of the CGI visuals were done, trailers, a photo gallery, and a couple of DVD-rom features.  (There's also a three-part Easter egg, so happy hunting.)

Come for the horror, stay for the action and suspense, and let THE CRAZIES entertain you as much as it did me.  Or not...I'm aware that there are people who don't like this movie.  But who knows?  They may be...crazies!

THE CRAZIES -- DVD Review by Porfle

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 10/17/17

 

We reviewed a barebones advance screener for RED CHRISTMAS back in August (see below) but today (October 17) it comes out on Blu-ray from Artsploitation Films and we've gotten the opportunity to take a gander at it. 

This seasonal slash-em-up is about a highly dysfunctional family (with America's sweetheart, Dee Wallace, as the harried matriarch) getting together like oil and water for an unconventional Christmas celebration with a surprise guest--Cletus, Mom's aborted fetus that survived, grew up, got real crazy, and is now out for either familial love or ruthless revenge, whichever comes first.

Needless to say, it's a raucous affair that serves to bring the disparate family members together at last, even as they're getting picked off one by one.

As for the Blu-ray--not only does it look and sound good enough to put you right in the Christmas spirit, but there are some lovely extras as well.  First up is director Craig Anderson's informal interview with a charming Dee Wallace, who manages to melt our hearts all over again as she speaks of working not only on this film but her previous classics (E.T., THE HOWLING, 10, etc.) as well. 

Next, Anderson and actor Sam Campbell ("Cletus") pop over to Gerald Odwyer's house to chat with him about his experiences playing "Gerry."  Again, it's all pleasantly casual and amusing, as well as informative.

Lastly comes a blooper reel, deleted scene, and brief clip of Odwyer and Anderson goofing around.  The latter two also handle the film's commentary, which is very scene-specific and enlightening.

The Blu-ray is in 2.25:1 widescreen with 5.1 surround sound.  English subtitles and closed-captions are available.

And now, here's our original review of the film itself:

A movie that might also have been called "When Abortions Attack!", RED CHRISTMAS (Artsploitation Films, 2016) is a pretty effective cautionary tale about what can happen if your viable aborted fetus is rescued by the guy who's about to blow up the abortion clinic, grows up into a twisted, deformed freak, and then returns as an adult on Christmas Day to wreak bloody revenge on his erstwhile mother and her comically dysfunctional family. 

Of course, any such film must star beloved genre queen Dee Wallace as the mom, who so desperately wants a traditional, happy family get-together despite having a woefully untraditional, unhappy family with absolutely no intention of getting together.  Her only solace is son Jerry (Gerard Odwyer), whose Downs Syndrome only makes him more special in Mommy's heart.

The rest of the clan includes the rebellious teen girl, her witheringly cynical and very, very pregnant older sister, the ultra-religious sister whose husband is a pious man of the cloth, and Mom's old-hippie brother who is forever puffing away on his medicinal marijuana. 

The prickly interactions amongst this motley bunch, spurred by various family issues and clashing personalities, would be sufficient for a twisted "Big Chill" sort of ensemble dramedy were it not for the fact that their ritual of exchanging gifts around the Christmas tree is interrupted by the entrance of one Cletus, an extremely creepy figure robed in black and wrapped from head to toe like a leper. 

Anyone who watches the abortion clinic prologue and then gets a load of Cletus should have very little trouble putting two and two together as well as mentally mapping out pretty much what territory the rest of RED CHRISTMAS is going to cover. 

All that's left to discover is who's gonna die in what order, how (and how bad) it's going to be, and whether or not first-time writer-director Craig Anderson will be able to make it entertaining for us jaded old slasher-flick junkies. 

Of course, the movie has already proven itself absorbing and fun thanks to good dialogue and performances and a pleasing overall look which includes nicely creative use of color and camera movement. 

Once the axe hits the skull and Cletus starts racking up his body count, the story goes into high gear and keeps us on our toes even though most of the plot's twists and turns cover pretty familiar ground. 
Granted, things start to lag a bit in the second half, but remain generally engaging enough to keep us wanting to see what happens next.  The kills range from teasing glimpses to graphic gore (although this isn't really a gorehound's dream) while our fleeting glimpse of Cletus sans facial bandages drives home the pleasingly retro nature of the film's practical effects. 

The tone is mock serious, with any humor that's inherent in the script kept utterly deadpan and never overt, which I like.  I also like the fact that the premise is so refreshingly different from the usual teens-in-a-cabin or campers-in-the-woods slasher fare while retaining the better elements of such films.

Mainly, though, RED CHRISTMAS lets us enjoy watching the wonderful Dee Wallace giving her all in a great role while fun and entertaining murder, mayhem, and carnage ensue all around her.  It's enough to give horror fans a little taste of Christmas right here in the middle of August.
 


Red Christmas (Official Trailer)

RED CHRISTMAS -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS -- Movie Review by Porfle

(Originally posted on 8/28/12)


When we last checked in with those wacky half-brothers Caesar and Otto, they were frantically eluding the bloody clutches of a serial killer in CAESAR & OTTO'S SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE and trying not to get sued by the Prince of Darkness himself in CAESAR & OTTO MEET DRACULA'S LAWYER.  Now, with CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS (2012), even "the most wonderful time of the year" becomes a nightmare of horror and hilarity for our dauntless dim-bulbs.

Directing his own screenplay (from a story co-written with Joe Randazzo) in his usual frenetic and wildly inventive style, indy auteur Dave Campfield once again stars as "effete tough guy" Caesar Denovio, a whirling dervish of cowardly aggression who fancies himself a great actor even though he bungles even the tiniest bit parts (such as "Waiter" or "Background Pedestrian").

Caesar constantly bullies and beats up on his much larger but mild-mannered half-brother Otto (Paul Chomicki), an unemployed "sponge" living in Caesar's apartment.  Together, Campfield and Chomicki form a comedy team that harkens back to such classic duos as Abbott & Costello and Ren & Stimpy, but with their own amusingly unique style.

Several elements from SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE are carried over here, including Caesar and Otto's quest for employment leading them into the manipulative clutches of the deceptively pleasant Jerry (Ken MacFarlane), who now heads an evil organization called XMas Enterprises.  Caesar gets to display his bad-acting chops again, this time failing his audition to play Santa due to a childhood trauma caused by crazy Grandpa Denovio (a hilarious cameo by Troma's Lloyd Kaufman).

There's a road trip complete with endearingly bad (if not impossible) process shots, along with another of Caesar's BABY JANE-style attacks on Otto as they compete for the same acting role.  The suspenseful climax recalls that of the previous film, with Caesar, Otto, and their dad Fred in grave peril at the hands of Jerry and his minions.

One of the most delightfully funny new wrinkles in DEADLY XMAS is when Caesar gets the chance to write, direct, and star in his very own low-budget horror film (financed by XMas Enterprises) which, of course, is a disaster.  "Hand-hold it, the shakier the better!" he says gleefully during one scene.  "That's, like, never done in independent films!"

 

Other returning castmembers include Robin Ritter as Nurse Helen, Avi K. Garg as the plucky Drew (who remains upbeat even though he keeps losing his arms and having them reattached), Scott Aguilar as Caesar and Otto's no-good but lovable dad Fred, Summer Ferguson as Otto's boyhood love interest Allison, Keith Bush as the Caesar-hating chief of police, Dawn Burdue, Jen Nikolaus, and Derek Crabbe. 

Felissa Rose (SLEEPAWAY CAMP), Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez, and scream queens Brinke Stevens and Debbie Rochon make their customary cameo appearances, while Linnea Quigley plays Caesar's crabby agent Donna and recreates her celebrated death scene from 1984's SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT.

Felissa's husband Deron Miller, who had a much smaller role in SUMMER CAMP MASSACRE, plays Santa-clad serial killer Demian, a crazed lackey of XMas Enterprises who becomes fixated on our heroes and starts killing off everyone on the "called to cancel" list for Caesar's annual Thanksgiving feast (which features pretzel sticks, popcorn, and toast on picnic plates).  Demian's axe-wielding exploits supply the film with most of its over-the-top comedic gore, aside from a dream sequence in which a mortified Caesar gets drenched from head to toe in the red stuff while Santa dismembers Otto with a chainsaw.

Once again, Dave Campfield is able to overcome a rock-bottom budget simply by means of creative directing, camerawork, and editing (the latter is especially good), along with sound design and a hyperkinetic pace which recall classic theatrical cartoons.  In addition to this, the cast is brimming with talented performers rather than, as in so many low-budget features, a bunch of nitwits thrown together on the cheap.  There's a lot of good comic acting going on here, with each castmember seemingly inspired by the project.

This is especially true in regard to Campfield himself, who, given the right resources, has (in my opinion) the potential to develop into one of the sharpest and most visually creative comedy filmmakers working today.  While still suffering from a lack of polish that a decent budget would solve, his "Caesar and Otto" series has its own distinctly warped slapstick style and sensibility in the same way that, say, the Zucker Brothers' comedies do.  I'm not saying Dave Campfield is the next Buster Keaton, but I think ol' Stone Face might've gotten a few good laughs out of CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS.

caesarandotto.com

Caesar & Otto’s Deadly Xmas--Fun Facts and Trivia

Story: With the holiday season approaching, Caesar and Otto find themselves employed at X-Mas Enterprises Inc., where a disgruntled employee wearing a Santa suit has begun a killing spree, and has appeared to have found himself the perfect patsies.

Cast: Dave Campfield, Paul Chomicki, Deron Miller, Ken Macfarlane, Summer Ferguson, Brinke Stevens, Scott Aguilar with special appearances from Lloyd Kaufman, Felissa Rose, Debbie Rochon, Joe Estevez and Linnea Quigley.


Trivia

The film is part spoof of 1984’s Silent Night, Deadly Night, and features many direct homages. Most notably, Linnea Quigley being impaled upon antlers.

Lloyd Kaufman’s appearance is a direct spoof of an opening scene from Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984).

Deadly Xmas is a sequel to Caesar & Otto’s Summer Camp Massacre, which lampooned “Sleep away Camp” (1983). Summer Camp featured Felissa Rose in a role that parodied her Angela character from the original.

Deron Miller, who portrays Demian in this feature, was lead singer of the hit rock group, CKY.

Deron Miller and Felissa Rose play husband and wife in the film. In real life they in fact are.

Neil Leeds is in fact a local Los Angeles celebrity known for his around the clock television ads as Leeds Mattress owner and spokesperson.

Preproduction has begun on the next installment, which will satirize both Halloween and the Paranormal Activity movies.

Intended to be a modern day throw back to the Abbott and Costello horror/comedy crossovers of yesteryear.

 

CAESAR AND OTTO'S DEADLY XMAS -- Movie Review by Porfle

TURKEY SHOOT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 9/17/15

 

I've seen so many tantalizing trailers for "Ozploitation" flicks lately that it's always a pleasure to get to watch one of these trash classics in its entirety.  That's why a basically awful movie like TURKEY SHOOT, a.k.a. "Escape 2000" and "Blood Camp Thatcher" (1982), gets a cheerful response from me even though many viewers would most likely tune out within the first five minutes.

The Australian film industry during the 70s and 80s underwent a real renaissance of exploitation films that transcended their low budgets and meager production values by cramming in as much violence, gore, nudity, slam-bang action, and overall shock value as they could muster.

TURKEY SHOOT is a prime example, using its by-the-numbers plot (which director Brian Trenchard-Smith of BMX BANDITS fame describes as "I AM A FUGITIVE FROM A CHAIN GANG meets THE CAMP ON BLOOD ISLAND and then plays THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME") like a clothesline on which to pin various chase sequences, gleefully fake but extreme gore, several shootouts and explosions, and some gratuitious nudity for our entertainment. 

Much of the story takes place in a prison camp of the then-future year 2000, where a fascist government sends its disobedient citizens for "re-education."  This, of course, involves terror, torture, sexual humiliation, and mind-control, not to mention a little game in which prisoners are offered freedom if they can survive being hunted like animals by the sadistic warden Thatcher (Michael Craig, MYSTERIOUS ISLAND, THE VAULT OF HORROR) and a group of wealthy, jaded sophisticates.  

Docile citizen Chris Walters (Olivia Hussey, BLACK CHRISTMAS, ROMEO AND JULIET) is imprisoned for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, while Paul Anders (Steve Railsback, LIFEFORCE, "Helter Skelter") is a chronic political offender caught running a renegade radio station.  Rita (Lynda Stoner, "Prisoner: Cell Block H") is a "loose woman" who seems to have been chosen solely for the amusement of the guards.

Our own twisted amusement is piqued early on when hulking chief guard Ritter (Roger Ward, "Fifi" in MAD MAX, QUIGLEY DOWN UNDER) beats inmates to death while his cackling toady Red (American actor Gus Mercurio) tries to violate Chris in the shower but gets the old "caught in the zipper" treatment.  Paul, meanwhile, is subjected to a torture cage which allows Railsback to indulge his penchant for method acting. 

The fact that everything is done on the cheap is more obvious in these early camp scenes than during the hunt, which takes place in the Australian wilderness.  There, however, we get an abundance of hokey gore effects (hands are chopped off, a skull is cleaved by a machete, etc., and a strange man-beast character who accompanies one of the hunters gets cut in half after chowing down on someone's pinky toe) and some poorly-staged action involving a mini-bulldozer that looks quite comical at times. 

The huntress Jennifer (Carmen Duncan) cuts an impressive figure riding her horse while wielding a crossbow that shoots explosive arrows.  Thatcher and Ritter get in on the action as well, as does Noel Ferrier of THE YEAR OF LIVING DANGEROUSLY in the role of "Secretary Mallory."  It's a no-brainer that Paul and Chris will eventually get together and turn the tables on their pursuers, leading to a lively camp-revolt finale that packs in all the blood squibs, explosions, and stock footage that the producers could afford. 

Railsback, hot off his success in THE STUNT MAN, seems a little awkward as an action-guy character and clearly wonders what the heck he's doing shooting a turkey like TURKEY SHOOT.  I've always found him to be an interesting actor though, ever since he played Charles Manson in the 1976 TV-movie "Helter Skelter."  Olivia Hussey seems jittery and uncomfortable throughout--as we learn from cast and crew interviews, she was constantly terrified that the Australian wildlife was out to get her.  This does work in her character's favor, however.  (Her shower scene, incidentally, clearly involves a body double.)

On a technical level, the film is hardly more lavish than a "Mr. Show" sketch.  The camp itself resembles a collection of storage buildings, and there's very little to indicate the story's "futuristic" setting.  (A rousing score by Brian May of MAD MAX fame is a definite plus.)  While director Trenchard-Smith claims that the character name "Thatcher" is part of the film's underlying political message, none of that goes beyond the impact of the typical Facebook meme.

The Blu-ray from Severin Films is in anamorphic widescreen with Dolby 2.0 sound.  No subtitles.  Severin's typically generous bonus features include: "The Ozploitation Renaissance", a recent interview with Aussie filmmakers Brian Trenchard-Smith, Antony I. Ginnane, and Vincent Monton; a solo interview with Trenchard-Smith from the 80s; a director's audio commentary; behind-the-scenes doc "Turkey Shoot: Blood & Thunder Memories"; the film's trailer and an alternate "Escape 2000" title sequence; and in-depth cast and crew interviews from the documentary "Not Quite Hollywood." 

In interviews, both Steve Railsback and Lynda Stoner express their dismay at the finished product, especially in regard to how the original script they were given was gutted and the budget slashed.  Still, none of this really matters--with all its faults, the film has its own sordid charm--and the people most likely to enjoy it are bad-film fanatics anyway, an area in which TURKEY SHOOT delivers in spades.   


Street date: Sept. 22, 2015
Stills used are not taken from Blu-ray

TURKEY SHOOT -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

SNATCHERS -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

(Warner Bros. Home Entertainment provided me with a free copy of the Blu-ray TM I reviewed in this blog post. The opinions I share are my own.)

Originally posted on 2/10/20


It's always a treat for fans of full-blooded (so to speak) 80s horror flicks to run across a new movie that captures that feeling as well as SNATCHERS (2019), which also also functions as a delightfully quirky teen comedy amidst the flying body parts and gouts of gore.

Mary Nepi stars as Sara, who wants to be accepted by the snooty in-crowd, and Gabrielle Elyse is Hayley, Sara's nerdy friend (one of those movie nerds who's pretty but wears glasses) whom she has recently "ghosted" in her quest for social status.

Their high school is the usual conglomeration of bitchy rich girls, hunky athletic dudes, nerds, and everything in between, with a satirical "Mean Girls" vibe running through the scenes in which mean-girl Kiana (Ashley Argota) holds court in the cafeteria.

Enter Skyler (Austin Fryberger), Sara's one-time boyfriend who left due to her constant refusal to put out. Now that Sara wants to lose her virginity, she and Skyler hook up for a night of unprotected sex after which she gets instantly pregnant and comes to full term in a single day.

Hayley grudgingly gives in to Sara's pleas for help, and together they visit a free clinic where (a) the ultrasound scan reveals something very ominous, (b) Sara gives birth to that something, and (c) that something not only kills everyone it gets its claws into but can also sink those claws into the back of a person's neck and operate their zombified body like a puppet.

Already we've got more than enough for a full-tilt horror flick, but SNATCHERS is just getting started. Sara and Hayley are a delightfully funny team as they scramble around trying to escape the creature (whose origin, it turns out, is connected to Skyler's recent visit to some ancient Mayan ruins) and bringing death and horror with them wherever they go.

Directors Stephen Cedars and Benji Kleiman, who co-wrote the lean, mean screenplay with Scott Yacyshyn, shoot it all in impeccable style with lots of creative camerawork and a non-stop pace.

Some choice found locations add much to the production values, including a soon-to-be-demolished city building that doubles as police station, jail, and hospital.

Horror fans with a yen for great practical effects will have a ball with the creatures (plural, since Sara quickly has a second one that intends to mate with the first one and create a race of kill-crazy aliens) and good old-fashioned hardcore gore, all of which is tastefully augmented by just the right amount of CGI.

It's like a throwback to the days of "The Reanimator", "The Thing", and "Dead Alive", with hints of the "Alien" movies (including a "queen") set against a kind of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"/"Mean Girls" backdrop.

The two sensibilities are finely balanced and compliment each other in ways that generate a high level of giddy fun that never lets up.

Performances are top-notch, including Nick Gomez as an earnest young cop who falls for Sara's ditzy mother (J.J. Nolan) while battling the beasts, and, to my pleasant surprise, Rich Fulcher of "Snuff Box" fame as Dave, a veterinarian who lends his dubious skills to trying to help Sara through her natal crises.

Everyone, human and alien, eventually winds up at the big party being thrown at Kiana's house, where the gore really hits the fan and Sara and Hayley are forced to step up and go into action-hero mode with an array of makeshift weapons. Happily, the story is resolved in such a way that's both satisfying and worthy of these characters whom we've come to like.

It's all tongue-in-cheek horror fun in high style, and anyone who appreciates those visceral thrills of the 80s should find SNATCHERS a solidly-done throwback to them.



SPECIAL FEATURES
 
The Birth of Snatchers: A Behind-the-Scenes Look
Unexpected: The Snatchers Blooper Reel 
Commentary featuring Directors and Writers Stephen Cedars, Benji Kleiman and Writer  Scott  Yacyshyn

BASICS
Blu-ray/DVD Release: February 18, 2020
Order Due Date: January 14, 2020
Blu-ray and DVD Presented in 16x9 widescreen format
Run Time: Approx. 96 min
Enhanced Content Run Time: Approx. 117 min

DVD
Price: $19.98 SRP ($24.99 SRP in Canada)
1 DVD-9s
Audio – English (5.1), French, Spanish
UPC# 883929697977
Catalog# 1000749305

BLU-RAY
Price: $24.98 SRP ($34.97 SRP in Canada)
1 Blu-ray + 1 DVD + Digital Copy
BD Audio –DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 – English, French, Spanish
UPC# 883929697984
Catalog# 1000749306

On Digital January 7
Blu-ray Combo Pack & DVD February 18

SNATCHERS -- Blu-ray/DVD Review by Porfle

THE PERFECT HOUSE -- DVD Review by Porfle

 

Originally posted on 7/24/14

 

Betraying hardly a hint of the shocking bloodbath it will eventually become, Wild Eye Releasing's THE PERFECT HOUSE (2012) starts out on a darkly humorous note with an average family having dinner with a burly, grey-haired neighbor with whom they've had an ongoing dispute over a borrowed weed-whacker.

It's a bit misleading, since we're led to think that this darkly tongue-in-cheek attitude will extend throughout the film. It does, in fact, last until about the halfway point, at which all humor suddenly disappears and the whole thing becomes a wallow in gratuitous gore, torture, and perversion in which absolutely nothing is sacred.

The opening segment ends just as the point of ultimate outrage over the errant weed-whacker is reached, but the aftermath (which we won't see until much later) is hinted at during the following story in which a real estate agent tries to unload the now-vacant house on a couple of prospective buyers who can't understand why it's going for such a steal.

If you're like me, then the MILF-a-licious Monique Parent will definitely ring your chimes as the seductive real estate agent who seems more interested in sharing a bed with house-hunters Marisol and Mike than selling them one. She, in fact, is the only interesting thing about this plotless segment which will pretty much go nowhere, especially after it's interrupted by a flashback.

A black-and-white interlude (during which we discover why Monique is hesitant to show the couple the basement) tells of a highly dysfunctional family in which the father dotes on his teenage daughter to an unhealthy degree while his son feels left out. The mother, meanwhile, is an overbearing harpy who berates them all mercilessly night and day.

When the four of them are forced to seek shelter in the basement from an oncoming tornado, the situation suddenly erupts into lots of squishy gore effects replete with dismembered body parts and an overall ambience of splatter. Not really a story per se, more of a vignette in which we wonder who's going to emerge alive from all the hacking and spewing going on in that shadowy darkness, it's kind of interesting. But again--no plot.

Suddenly, we fast-forward into another basement-based situation in which the house's next owner, a serial killing yokel played by Jonathan Tiersten ("Ricky" from SLEEPAWAY CAMP), keeps a woman captive in a chain-link cage while he forces her to be his "audience" and watch him dispatch one victim after another.

Holly Greene is actually pretty funny as the caged woman who must wearily deal with each frantic "newbie" in the adjoining cage and who keeps up with the days of the week by what is done to her ("All I know is I get fed on Wednesdays and raped on Fridays").

It's here, however, that THE PERFECT HOUSE veers into unrelenting torture porn, and, while the sequence ends in fairly satisfying fashion, it serves merely as an appetizer for the all-out bloody horror that is the utterly mortifying climax of the "weed-whacker" story.

Sick, grotesque, and "appalling" in the truest H.G. Lewis sense of the word, this is fifteen or twenty minutes that will test your tolerance for torture-tainment and perhaps cause you to question your own sanity for sitting through it. The closest it comes to having a story can be summarized with the line "A bunch of insanely horrible stuff happens, the end."

As the mother of the luckless family who meet their frightful fate in the basement of horror, co-producer Felissa Rose probably does more screaming here than in all her other movies combined. And for good reason, too. (It's too bad she doesn't share any screen time with SLEEPAWAY CAMP co-star Jonathan Tiersten.) Her husband Jeff--who should've returned that damn weed-whacker--is played by John Philbin of TOMBSTONE and RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

I reviewed a barebones screener for this movie and thus cannot comment on extras. The press release states: "The DVD release of The Perfect House (SRP $14.95) will exclusively include over two hours of bonus features: behind the scenes featurettes, cast interviews, footage from the national theatrical tour, special effects featurettes, Q&A footage and an alternate ending."

The level of gruesome carnage found in THE PERFECT HOUSE will be old hat to some (namely, those who have been "desensitized", as they say, to such horrors) and it may indeed suffice for the lack of a plotline. Others, however, are advised to either exercise extreme caution or just skip the whole thing altogether.

THE PERFECT HOUSE -- DVD Review by Porfle

PATRICK STILL LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

 

 

Originally posted 10/27/2020

 

If you saw Richard Franklin's minor classic PATRICK (1979), an Aussie horror thriller about a young man in a coma who kills with his mind while lying motionless in a hospital bed with his eyes wide open, you may have come away from the experience wanting more.

A year later, Italian director Mario Landi (GIALLO IN VENICE) gave us exactly that and then some with his shockingly lurid sex-and-gore fest PATRICK STILL LIVES (1980).

An unauthorized "in name only" sequel, this tale begins with young Patrick (Gianni Dei, playing a completely different character than the original) and his surgeon father Dr. Herschel (Sacha Pitoëff) having car troubles by the side of an isolated road, when suddenly a van speeds by and the driver tosses an empty bottle out the window which strikes Patrick in the head and puts him into what appears to be a permanent comatose state. 

 

 

Later, we're transported to Dr. Herschel's rustic, rambling Italian villa (also the location for producer Gabriele Crisanti's BURIAL GROUND) where he cares for Patrick in a self-contained medical wing.

He seems to be conducting some pretty shady scientific research that includes three other hapless "patients" who are hooked up to machines and kept in a vegetative state as their bodies atrophy.

Not only that, but the not-so-good doctor also invites a variety of people to stay at his "wellness clinic" including a famous government official and his hot-blooded wife, a troubled woman with a shady past, a helmet-haired hunk, and a tough guy with a gun-bulge under his jacket. 

 

We later discover that these people are there because the doctor is blackmailing them, and we wonder what sinister plans he has for them.

With that set-up in place, PATRICK STILL LIVES giddily goes about its business of entertainment and exploitation with enough nudity to pack the pages of a rack full of men's magazines (most of the women in the cast look absolutely terrific in the buff, which they're in for roughly half the running time) and, once the freakish death scenes start to occur, enough bloody carnage to put a smile on the face of the most fervent gorehound.

These scenes are often punctuated by the sight of Patrick's big googly eyes coming at us from out of nowhere (a startling effect), and, despite the effects being a bit crude at times, the gore scenes display some real twisted imagination in their staging and execution. 

 

While Patrick seems to be mentally orchestrating the mayhem from his hospital bed, he also displays a distinct romantic interest in his father's beautiful blonde secretary Stella (Mariangela Giordano) and, in one stunning scene, takes advantage of his ability to control her actions in ways you don't have to try too hard to imagine.

The plot deftly transcends its stately pace to keep us guessing as to the motivation behind it all and why these particular people have been chosen to be murdered one by one. Naturally, we have our favorites (mine was the gorgeous Carmen Russo as Mrs. Kraft) and those whom we can't wait to get theirs.

While we're waiting for the plot by screenwriter Piero Regnoli (NIGHTMARE CITY) to unwind, we're treated to various interpersonal dramas including a raucous catfight, some other violently spiteful encounters, and even a potential romance between helmet-hair and Dr. Herschel's strange servant girl Meg. Director Landi renders it all with a roughhewn but often stylish visual sense that, for me, had a bit of an Amicus vibe. 

 

The Blu-ray from Severin Films was scanned uncut in 2k from the original negative and looks very good despite a few flaws here and there which only add to its character. Extras consist of an interesting recent interview with actor Gianni Dei (Patrick), the film's original trailer, and reversible cover art. The special Blu-ray edition comes with a slipcover featuring its own distinctive artwork.

One doesn't have to be familiar with the original film to plunge right into this faux sequel with both feet and wallow through all its gore-drenched, nudity-enhanced goodness. While more "normal" viewers may be appalled by its goings-on, those with a more twisted cinematic palate should find PATRICK STILL LIVES a delightfully deranged delicacy.


Buy the standard Blu-ray at Severin Films

Buy the special Blu-ray edition with slipcover


Special Features:

    C’est la Vie – Interview with Actor Gianni Dei
    Trailer
    Reversible Wrap

Disc Specs:

    Aspect ratio: 1.66:1
    Audio: Italian mono with English subtitles
    Region Free

Reversible box art:

 

Special edition slipcover art:

PATRICK STILL LIVES -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

AENIGMA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle

Originally posted on 6/25/20


They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but it also has no fury like a woman who suffers the humiliation of a cruel college prank and then, while fleeing from her jeering tormenters, gets hit by a truck and ends up in a coma from which she uses her psychic powers to possess the body of a newly-enrolled student and exact bloody revenge upon everyone who put her there.

Which, incidentally, is the plot of Italian horror maestro Lucio Fulci's murderous melodrama AENIGMA (1987, Severin Films). Inspired by such films as CARRIE, PATRICK, and Dario Argento's SUSPIRIA, this lively entry gets all of that plot set-up out of the way in the first ten minutes and then gets right down to the good stuff.

Milijana Zirojevic as the put-upon "Kathy" spends the rest of the film in a hospital bed hooked up to a jumble of wires and looking the worse for wear, while her pretty surrogate, Eva (Lara Naszinski), moves into the girls' dorm (a nice SUSPIRIA-like interior location) and wastes no time linking up with her erstwhile tormentors for one juicy episode of bloody payback after another.

These include some pretty imaginative touches, such as a museum statue coming to life and giving one of the girls a cold reception. There's also what may be the only known instance of what can only be described as "death by snails" in horror film history.

The "headless Tom" sequence is another highlight, in which one of the girls pulls back her bed covers to find her boyfriend sans noggin, then runs screaming from room to room just to encounter the same sight over and over again.

Needless to say, the comatose Kathy--no longer flatlining now that her brain waves have something fun to do--has all the power of the supernatural at her disposal in exacting these imaginative revenge scenarios. 

This gives director Fulci a free hand to indulge in whatever way-out visuals (including some pleasantly outlandish gore) that strike his artistic fancy.

The story starts to get even more interesting when neurologist Dr. Robert Anderson (Jared Martin, a prolific actor whose face you'll probably recognize) is called in to deal with poor Eva's sudden fits of violent hysteria brought on by Kathy's mental control.

A sudden romance forms between the two, one whose inevitable complications (including a jealousy-fueled love triangle) form the basis for the film's lively finale. 

Performances are good--well, good enough, anyway--and Fulci (who does a cameo as a police inspector) gets the job done with his usual workmanlike skill, infectious enthusiasm for the genre, and occasional displays of style.

The 2-disc Blu-ray from Severin Films (with slipcover) contains a CD of the robust soundtrack music by Carlo Maria Cordio. The film itself was scanned in 4K from the original negative for the first time in America. Dialogue is in both Italian and English 2.0 mono, with English subtitles.

Bonus features include an audio commentary with Troy Howarth, author of "Splintered Visions--Lucio Fulci and His Films", and Mondo Digital's Nathaniel Thompson; an interview with screenwriter Giorgio Mariuzzo; the featurette "Italian Aenigma--Appraising Late Day Fulci"; trailers; and the film's Italian main titles.

While it could be described as derivative, I found AENIGMA's deftly-handled blend of familiar elements from earlier films to be quite enjoyable for that very reason.  It's your standard "bloody revenge in a girls' school" tale, Italian-horror style, and with Lucio Fulci at the helm it just can't help being a lot of fun to watch.


2-Disc Blu-ray Featuring CD Soundtrack and Limited Edition Slipcover
Limited to 1500 copies

AENIGMA -- Blu-ray Review by Porfle