On the Divinity of Green Goddess

Let us now praise the Green Goddess.

After searching my way through several supermarkets across two states, I finally located a bottle of Green Goddess salad dressing in Iowa. I always thought Nebraska was the place where the 70's went to die, but couldn't quite, yet it was the land of swine and roses that came to the rescue. Sure, I could make my own, but who wants to stand and snip chives and mash anchovies? I was only able to locate one brand, made by Kraft. It is considerably less green than I remember the stuff.

Green Goddess salad dressing was quite popular in the 60's and 70's and then slipped away when the fad for unnaturally fluorescent food waned. The vibrant red sauce on a prawn/shrimp cocktail, the strange almost phosphorescent glow of lemon Jell-O, Green River soda pop-it was all so gloriously fake. Who wouldn't want to dump Green Goddess all over their salad? Communists. That's who. That's why Russian Dressing was re-named, Western Dressing in the Midwest. You knew where someone stood by whether they ordered Western or Russian dressing.*

Should you be unable to get to Iowa for a bottle of your own, it might seem reasonable to go looking for a recipe on the internet. Don't do that. A quick Google search revealed all manner of heresies against the Goddess the worst involving the addition of mashed avocado. Green Goddess dressing should have tarragon (or tarragon vinegar if you can't find fresh herbs) parsley, chives, black pepper, sour cream, and salad cream or mayo. It also requires anchovies. Green food colouring is not optional. Sure, you can omit it, but then it is tarragon/chive dressing, not Green Goddess. The Goddess demands appropriate worship.

1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup sour cream
3 tablespoons tarragon vinegar
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/3 cup finely chopped parsley
3 tablespoons grated onion
1 tablespoon chopped chives
1 clove garlic, crushed
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
Green food colouring
Blend together. Chill several hours before using.

No avocado! And for fuck's sake, no basil either, this isn't a pesto. 

This is the proper presentation of a green goddess salad. Yes, it has to be iceberg, and yes it must be in a wedge. Don't be an asshole and use rocket or deer's tongue or whatever lettuce is popular on food blogs this week. And no, it isn't my photo-I would have used more dressing, and gone for veggie bacon bits.



OK, now that the salad is sorted...

 We had to hike our way down a dirt road into the wilds of Council Bluffs on our quest for the Goddess.

 Huh? What's this bench doing in the middle of a field? Oh well, I guess they won't mind if we rest a bit. Gosh, Iowa sure is a friendly place!

Hey, that's not a field, that's the photo-op at the Union Pacific Railroad Museum! Well, you didn't expect me to go all the way across the bridge to Iowa and not stop for a few turns at the train simulator, did you? And yes, we stopped at the thrift store in the Dairy Queen because...it is a thrift store in a Dairy Queen.

Outfit Particulars:
Ann Taylor sailor trousers-Goodwill (I somehow managed to avoid showing the button sides in dozens of photos. Trust me, they're there and look as stupid as they sound).
Shoes-K Mart
Linen blouse-K Mart
Cardigan-Goodwill
Necklace-K Mart
Earrings-Yard sale
Bangles-all over
Handbag-Can't remember
Fragrance-1000 Jean Patou

 A rare case of the trousers looking better from behind (not MY behind, it never looks good). The fit is OK, but I find myself wishing the legs were wider. Good for a day of mucking about in poor weather, I guess. Plus, I had to trudge through all those muddy fields to reach the goddess.

We also stopped at the K Mart for the back-to-school tax-holiday sale. Danny scored two new pair of "gym shoes" (that's "sneakers" or "trainers" to people that didn't grow up in mid-century Chicago) on a buy one, get one for a dollar sale.

* There's a long history of re-naming foods to reflect the status of other countries with the U.S.  from "Victory/Liberty Cabbage" to "Salisbury Steak", to "Freedom Fries."  

I hope the weekend is finding you in fine spirits. I plan on spending the weekend in fine spirits-mostly gin. 

And some tonic. 

Cold Poached Salmon With Roasted Corn

One of my summer survival tricks is preparing the evening meal in the cool of the morning. Turning on the oven at the hottest part of the afternoon is defeating, and no one wants a hot meal when the mercury is inching towards triple digits.
This is more a guide, than a recipe as I was trying to use some of the (too many) herbs taking over my garden. I wouldn't go out and buy chives, lemon balm, or fresh tarragon for a poached fish salad-use what you have, and really any dressing will do. The same goes for the poaching liquid. I used dry vermouth, but white wine, or even broth would be absolutely fine. The idea is getting a meal cooked early, and giving it time to chill for the evening meal.

For the fish:

Salmon fillets
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup dry vermouth
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 generous sprig of lemon balm
1 sprig of fresh thyme
a bay leaf

Bring the liquid to a boil in a large skillet and add herbs and seasonings, reduce to simmer and place in fish skin side down. Cover, and cook until done-about 10 minutes, but it will vary with the thickness of your fish. Remove to a plate to cool, then chill.

For the roasted corn:

Scrape the kernels from about 6 cobs of corn (you may as well make extra, it lasts a couple days). Combine with 2 tablespoons corn oil, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and black pepper. Pour onto a rimmed baking sheet and cook 30 minutes at 400 degrees F. stirring occasionally. When the corn starts to turn slightly brown, it is done. If you have a sweet red pepper to chop up and add in the roasting pan-do so, they're great together. If you are making the corn to serve with southwestern food, add some chili powder and garlic to the mix.

For the salad dressing:

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 teaspoon salt
Ground black pepper to taste
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1 tablespoon snipped chives
1 tablespoon chopped chervil
2 teaspoons dill
1 teaspoon granulated sugar

Mix well, and make at least 30 minutes before serving. This makes quite a bit, but again, why not make enough for future meals?

Assembling the salad:

I used a variety of lettuces, and then I added lovage and orange mint leaves as well. Again, I'm not suggesting you buy them, but if you have them in your garden, the combination is lovely in a salad.

Dress the greens lightly with the salad dressing. Scatter on some roasted corn, and top with the chilled, poached salmon fillets. If you have them, snip additional chives over the fish, and drizzle on a bit more of the dressing. Serve well chilled.

Cucumber and Tomato Salad

I continue to be amazed at how good greenhouse tomatoes can be. The winter can seem endless in these parts, but a good tomato does  the job of temporary distraction (at least until I peer out the window).

This salad is quick enough, just don't make it too far ahead as tomatoes don't like the fridge for too long.

You Will Need:

2 ripe tomatoes, seeded and cut in whatever shape your heart desires (Personally, I like wedges, but your salad, your rules)
1/2 sweet onion, sliced
1 large cucumber, seeded if not a seedless variety, and thinly sliced.

The Dressing:

4 tablespoons cider vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 teaspoon celery salt
1 tablespoon chervil
A pinch of tarragon
1/4 teaspoon thyme
1/2 teaspoon dill
A nice big grinding of black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sugar

Mix well, pour over salad and let sit at least ten minutes before serving.

Unfortunately, it is still January...but hey everybody, look...salad!

Poppy Seed Dressing

You'll hate me for sharing this, even as you admit it is the best poppy seed dressing you've ever tasted. As it has no dairy or eggs, it is suitable for vegetarians, and keeps a very long time. Still, two cups of vegetable oil is never going to be health food, but used sparingly, it can make a fruit salad pretty darn special.

From Cooking From Quilt Country, Marcia Adams

You Will Need:

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
2 teaspoons powdered mustard
2 teaspoons salt
2/3 cup cider vinegar
2 cups vegetable oil
3 tablespoons poppy seed

In a large mixer bowl, combine first four ingredients. Slowly add the oil, beating until thick. Beat five minutes more. Stir in poppy seeds. Makes about 2 pints.

Buttermilk Coleslaw

Here's another salad tip you may enjoy (enjoy my tip, damnit!) buttermilk and sour cream make an excellent dressing for coleslaw. Go easy on the sour cream-no more than a couple tablespoons to provide some body, and use buttermilk for the rest. If you're counting calories this will save you over an oil and vinegar based recipe, and certainly quite a bit over mayo. Besides, mayo is disgusting in coleslaw. And for fuck's sake, stop being such a miser with the carrots-put a reasonable number of them in the salw, and you won't need so much sugar. Sugar has no place in coleslaw anyway.

There, you enjoyed that tip, didn't you?

Garlic Salad Dressing

My garlic has cured enough to use now, and I have a lot of it. Supermarket garlic has been so horrible the past few years, I'd forgotten how good the stuff can be. Half a clove is enough for most of my uses, as it is really pungent.

We've been eating salads nightly as the weather is hot, and the greens are abundant. To keep the cold suppers interesting, I've been pickling fruit (cherries, grapes, peaches) and vegetables (cauliflower, onions, carrots). My relish dish hasn't seen this much use since the 70's. For some reason, everyone agreed that we needed a creamy garlic sort of dressing tonight (not something I ordinarily make). The dressing was the result of what I had in the fridge, but feel free to substitute widely-this is more a template than a recipe, ya know?

Makes about 1 pt.

2 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup sour cream
1/4 cup heavy cream
3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon finely minced fresh rosemary
1/4 cup finely minced fresh parsley
1/2 cup basil leaves blanched 30 seconds, drained, patted dry and finely chopped (this keeps it green)
1/2 large clove of garlic, finely minced nearly to a paste
Salt/Pepper to taste
Milk to thin if needed

Combine everything except the olive oil in a mixing bowl. With hand mixer on high, beat in the olive oil slowly until well-absorbed. Adjust salt/pepper, and thin with milk if needed.

Lentil and Spinach Salad

This salad will work with whatever lettuces/greens you have. I'm overrun by baby spinach and beet greens at the moment, so that's what I used. I also used regular old grey lentils for this, but quick cooking French lentils would be great as well. If you use butter-type lettuces, add them to the lentil/vegetable mixture before serving, otherwise, toss the spinach/beet greens in with the rest. The salad is best served at room temperature, and should be made a couple hours before serving for the flavours to absorb.

You will Need:

About 1 quart fresh baby spinach leaves, washed and well-dried
2-3 cups cooked lentils
1/2 cup celery, finely chopped
1/4 cup finely chopped radishes
1 large ripe tomato, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup diced yellow courgette
1/2 cup diced green courgette
1`/4 cup fresh parsley, chopped
1/8 cup chopped pimento


Dressing:

1/3 cup olive oil (corn oil is also good, though much different. if you're lucky enough to have a decent unrefined corn oil-kinda expensive, this is a good use for it)
1/2 teaspoon mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Black pepper to taste
1 tablespoon honey
Juice of 1 large lemon

Whisk together and toss with salad ingredients.

Sweet Potato, Smoked Mackerel and Beetroot Salad

Click the photo to see how pretty the beetroot tints the mackerel.


The recipe comes from Angela Hartnett, and may be found at The Guardian website, HERE.

I made a few changes and it was still brilliant. I made use of some tinned smoked mackerel I had, as well as tinned beets. What I did not have on hand was horseradish sauce, so I made my own. The recipe will follow at the end of the post.

When I mentioned that dinner would be smoked mackerel with beets, and sweet potatoes, I did get a bit of wincing from Mr. ETB. I'm pleased to report that the boys both cleared their plates, and would have had a second serving were it available. You may wish to take this into consideration and double the recipe. I also served mine on a bed of lettuce as my family have very middle class ideas with respect to what constitutes, "salad." I harbour no such ideas of course as "salad" in my mother's home was a plastic tub of macaroni in sauce purchased at the supermarket. It was the 70's.

For the horseradish cream:
(This will make quite a bit of cooked mayonnaise. I turned half of it into horseradish cream, and left the rest to be adapted into salad spreads/dressing as needed. It will thicken quite a bit on standing, but is easily thinned with either cream or sour cream. Some paprika stirred in makes a wonderful French dressing).

You Will Need:

1/2 cup sifted plain flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons dry mustard powder
1 cup water
3/4 cup cider vinegar or lemon juice
4 egg yolks or 2 whole eggs (I used 2 whole eggs this time)
1 tablespoon butter

In a saucepan combine the flour, sugar, salt and mustard. Slowly whisk in the water and vinegar. Cook over medium heat until it comes to a boil. Cook 1 minute longer. Remove from heat and with a hand mixer, beat in the butter and eggs until smooth. Remove to a bowl, cover with cling film on the surface to prevent a skin forming and cool. When cool, add well-drained horseradish to taste (I used about 1 tablespoon) and enough heavy cream to thin. Drizzle over the salad. The remaining mayo and horseradish cream will keep in the fridge about 5 days.

Cooked Salad Dressing-Betty Crocker Picture Cookbook 1950

I needed something similar to Dorothy Lynch dressing for my tofu Reuben sandwiches. This turned out pretty close, in fact, Mr. ETB says he prefers it to French dressing. The recipe makes about 1 pt. I doubled the amount of paprika.

You Will Need:

1/2 cup sifted AP flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons dry mustard powder
1/8 teaspoon paprika (I used 1/4)
1 cup water
3/4 cup mild vinegar or lemon juice (I used a combination of lemon juice and cider vinegar)
4 egg yolks or 2 whole eggs (I used the 2 whole eggs)
1 tablespoon butter

Mix together in a saucepan the flour, sugar, salt, mustard, and paprika. Slowly whisk in the water and lemon juice/vinegar. Over medium heat, cook, whisking until it comes to a boil. Remove from heat. With a hand mixer, beat in the eggs (very slowly) and the butter until smooth. Chill before using. The dressing can be thinned with cream or sour cream if being used for a salad. It was an excellent sandwich spread being thicker.

Apple Fennel Salad

This was quick to make, and popular at dinner.


You Will Need:

1 fennel bulb sliced very thin-shaved if possible
1 tart apple, shaved thin (I used Granny Smith)
1 medium tart apple, shaved thin (I used a Mackintosh)
Some fennel fronds, chopped
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon

Dressing:

Juice of 1 lemon
1/4 cup cider vinegar
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 tsp. powdered mustard
2 tablespoons brown sugar
Salt/Pepper to taste

Whisk, toss with salad. Chill before serving. You can adjust the ratio of oil/vinegar to suit your taste, but don't omit the lemon as it keeps the fennel and apples looking bright.

Danny's Favourite Salad

Danny dislikes mayonnaise, even the homemade variety. Over the years, I've worked out some impressive potato salads using a number of different dressings. This is a current favourite, so I'll post the recipe here.

The peas, are from the garden, cooked in lettuce, a few tablespoons of water, and a pinch of sugar. Cover them tightly and cook over medium heat for about ten minutes. Refresh under cold water.

I didn't catch the salmon, that came from a tin.

Danny's Favourite Two Potato Salad:

1 lb. small red potatoes, diced
1 lb Yukon Gold potatoes, diced
1 large green bell pepper, finely diced
1 heaping tablespoon imitation bacon bits
1 heaping tablespoon dehydrated minced onion
1/3 cup olive oil
3 tablespoons lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon salt
Black pepper to taste
1/4 teaspoon mustard powder
1 tablespoon honey

Boil the potatoes until tender. Drain. Combine in a large bowl with pepper, bacon bits, and onion. Mix remaining ingredients in a cup to make dressing. Pour over still warm potatoes and gently mix. Chill several hours before serving.

A Quick, Versatile Salad

I wasn't going to bother posting this, but the boys insisted. Danny declared it his favourite salad so far, so who am I to argue?

You can use any vegetables you like. I steamed the carrots and green beans before tossing them with the sliced radishes and dressing. Make this ahead several hours as it gets better with time to absorb the dressing.

You Will Need:

2 cups steamed green beans, refreshed under running water
2 cups steamed carrots, cut in matchsticks and also refreshed under cold water
1 cup sliced radishes

For the dressing:

1/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1 tablespoon honey
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Mix together and toss with vegetables. Chill well before serving.

Lentil and Rice Salad with Raisins

It makes sense to cook this sort of thing in quantity as it often improves in flavour after a day or so. We have a busy weekend planned, but dinner's ready. I served the salad with some steamed green beans, however a lettuce salad would be nice as well.

You Will Need:

Cooked brown lentils-about 4 cups, more or less
The Rice:

1 cup brown rice
2 1/2 cups vegetable broth


The Vegetables:

2 cups chopped scallions
Handful of raisins
a handful of radishes, thinly sliced
1 cup chopped parsley
1 tablespoon chopped preserved lemon rind (or grate in some zest if you don't have it)

Dressing:

1/3 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons honey
1/2 teaspoon powdered mustard
Salt/Pepper to taste
2 tablespoons cider vinegar

Bring the vegetable broth to a boil, stir in rinsed rice and cover. reduce heat to a simmer and cook 50 minutes. Fluff, and let cool slightly. Toss with lentils. Gently toss in the vegetables, then add the dressing. Mix gently (you don't want to mash the lentils) and chill before serving.

Apple ( Abomination) Delight "Salad"

As promised, here's the Midwestern horror of a "salad". What I hate to admit, (really) is that it actually tastes good. I mean, for a few tablespoons-you can't really eat more than that. I keep thinking I ought to add some really dreadful artificial food colouring to it, or a packet of Jell-O. There's something missing...something from the dark place in my memory called, "Illinois, 1974." Maybe I just need a Schlitz to fully appreciate the picnic aspect of it. I think we all know, if this were really authentic, it would have half a jar of Miracle Whip in it. Mind if I ask you a question? Do these knit Gauchos make me look fat? Yeah, I was kind of afraid they might. I was gonna get the matching vest, but I thought it might be overkill, and I needed my money for a new bottle of Aqua Net.

I'm pretty sure you won't want to make this (though if you're a local reader, and you want some, I have plenty to share) but here's the recipe, adapted from an old Amish cookbook:

You Will Need:

2 large apples, pared, cored and diced
1/2 cup chopped celery
1 cup raisins
1 cup pineapple tidbits, drained
About 10 chopped maraschino cherries
1 cup mini marshmallows (a true Midwesterner would have known to get the multi- coloured ones)

Dressing:

1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 cup water
1 teaspoon cider vinegar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cream
1 teaspoon vanilla

Finishing:

2 cups heavy cream, whipped

Combine fruits etc. in a bowl and set aside. In a saucepan, combine everything in the sauce except vanilla. Cook over medium heat, whisking until it comes to a boil. Cook until slightly thickened (about 1 minute). Remove from heat, whisk in vanilla and cool. When cool, mix into salad. Whip cream, and fold into salad, and dressing mixture. Serve well-chilled with a can of Schlitz, or tater-tot casserole.

Cole Slaw With Cooked Mayonnaise

I was editing the photos from dinner, when I began laughing. Mr. ETB looked over at the photo of the coleslaw, and laughed as well. I swear to god, it didn't look that way at the table. The lighting, the camera, the Universe having a laugh-I don't know. I do know that I'll never be able to make it again.

Judge for yourself:



Yeah, that's what we thought as well. If you think you can get past the appearance (after my making the situation all the worse) here's the recipe for the mayonnaise, which isn't really a proper mayo at all. I wouldn't even describe it as a salad cream. I can describe what it looks like, but then almost certainly no one would want to make it, though admittedly, based on the search queries that bring people to the blog, I seem to attract a fair number of degenerates.

You Will Need:

1 large egg
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon flour
1 cup water
1/2 cup cider vinegar

Combine egg, sugar and flour until well blended in a small saucepan. Add 1/4 cup of the water and whisk until smooth. Add the vinegar, and remaining water. Bring to a boil over medium heat, whisking constantly. Boil until thickened. Cool before using. Don't take photographs of the end result.

Pickled Pineapple /Orange Salad

This makes a small batch, that gets better through the week-if it lasts that long.

You Will Need:

1 pineapple, trimmed and cut into chunks
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
1 cup dark brown sugar
1/2 cup apple or pineapple juice (most people don't have pineapple juice on hand, I used apple)
3 cinnamon sticks
1 teaspoon whole cloves


Tie cinnamon and cloves in cheesecloth. Place them in a pan with the sugar, vinegar, and juice. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer. Cover and cook 20 minutes. Add pineapple chunks and cook gently five minutes, uncovered. Remove pineapple to a quart jar warmed under hot water and set aside. Bring syrup back to a boil, and carefully pour over pineapple. Cool slightly before transferring to fridge. When cool, cover and keep chilled. Use within a week.

The syrup makes a terrific base for salad dressing. Add a bit to oil and vinegar and adjust with salt and pepper.

Using Up Extra Whipped Cream

OK, there was only so much straight whipped cream I could eat. Believe me, I wanted to devour that whole bowl by myself, but I couldn't manage more than a couple spoonfuls. Looking around in the fridge, I decided to put half a head of cabbage to use and make coleslaw.

The leftover, sweetened whipped cream worked beautifully in place of mayonnaise-better actually. Mixed with some salt, cider vinegar, and black pepper, it takes on a really nice texture, without the gloppiness of mayo. I'm pleased it was put to good use, and even more pleased that I have found a nice alternative to eggs and oil.

I still would have preferred to eat the whipped cream alone-maybe next year.

November Salad From The Garden

I swear, I have the garden that just keeps giving (though I'm still waiting on the beets and turnips). The rocket and pea shoots provided the substance of this salad-cheese ends and stale bread turned fancy provided the rest. Oh, and a couple grapes-you have to have grapes on a salad (in this house anyway). I made a lovely honey-mustard with the end of a bottle of Djion mustard, honey, corn oil and some white wine vinegar. Just pour it all in the bottle and shake, to get the bitter last of the mustard. I know, getting that last 1/4 teaspoon of mustard from the squeeze bottle makes you feel better-that's OK, mama understands. We're all friends here.

Croutons and the Best French Dressing

A couple techniques to try next time you're stumped for a way to dress a salad of simple greens (we had rocket, pea shoots and watercress).

For the dressing:

1 shallot, thinly sliced
1 garlic clove, minced fine
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon sweet paprika
3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
3/4 cup olive oil

Place in a jar and shake until blended.

For the croûtons:

Thickly cubed bread, crusts removed
Clarified butter
Salt to taste

Dry the bread out in a slow oven. This should take about 20 minutes at 225 degrees F.

Heat a generous amount of clarified butter over moderate heat in a heavy frying pan. Toss the croûtons in and cook until nicely browned. Toss in salt and remove to a bowl for serving.

Danny's Blue Cheese Dressing

Danny helped me develop this recipe and he did most of the jar shaking to emulsify the dressing-I thought it only fair to give him credit.

We worked with what we had in the fridge, and it turned out fantastic.

You Will Need:

1/2 cup yoghurt, drained through cheesecloth for a couple hours to thicken
1/2 cup creme fresh (look, I am soooo, not going to look up the French spelling-deal with it)
1/2 cup whole milk
2-3 tablespoons white wine vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste
(about) 4 oz. blue cheese (I used Amablue, from Iowa. I know Maytag blue has the great reputation, but this was half the price and good enough for a four year old's palette. It was good enough for the 48 year old as well).

Chop the cheese into tiny pieces and put everything in a jar with a lid. Let your kid go crazy shaking it. After he's exhausted and goes off to read comic books in bed, sneak the dressing into the blender for a quick mix. You want to keep some of the pieces of cheese.

Chill before serving.