Victory at last!!!

o/

My Silver Drakes have finally turned the corner! I figured out what it was, that was the cause of my abysmal die rolls: My Beloved Wolfy wasn't present to bless my dice with her mystical powers! I came to this realisation after she did just that this past Saturday evening, and my Silver Drakes went on to rack up two consecutive victories, huzzah! So pleased was I with how well my dice were rolling that I didn't think to take but a handful of photos. Oops. 

The coordinates said they'd be right around here...somewhere.

First up, my marines sought out their Adeptus Mechanicus allies commanded by my buddy Scott, to seek their guidance in combating the Tyranid menace. However that rendezvous fell apart when, upon first contact, a skitarii armed with an arquebus took out my AGL specialist with a brutal headshot (literally, the strategem used was called 'head shot'). 

Shoot that treacherous, uh...thing!

Enraged, my sergeant took out the verminous gunner with a head shot of his own, and demanded his traitorous counterpart's head on a pike! Engaging in an assassination mission, my Drakes avenged their fallen brother with extreme prejudice! 

Well...except the new guy. With one grunt resting at the convalescent home, my new and literally green recruit ran right up the center only to be taken out next by a rapid firing plasma gun. Ouch. Demotion ended the game though when he took out the Skitarii leader with his stalker pattern bolt rifle despite being both on the move, and his target being snuggled down in heavy cover!

'Twas a good game vs. a fun opponent I haven't played against in years. All marines made a full recovery, though one of Scott's 'nameless grunts' died of his injuries. 

Xenos scum! I'm coming for you!

Following that, Screech's Tyranids returned for another round, and with the dice rolling hot, my Drakes were eager for a rematch! Things started off well for me when the first Hormagaunt kill came via a scouting phase deployed trap (first time that phase has resulted in anything thing for me). He would lose another gaunt to a booby trap later in the game as well. 

His dead pile.

Everything went pretty much my way, other than my Sgt. falling in close combat with his lictor, and Demotion being taken out via a venom cannon round. That injury was sufficient to cause him to miss my next game. Whereas Screech had all but his lictor need to roll on the recovery chart at game's end. Several bugs were to report to the convalescent...uh...something. Don't they just digest the wounded and birth new replacements? Well, its something like that I guess...

Anyways, I'm now technically in the lead with all full resources however I'm so many games behind that I figure my team is a guerrilla force at best. Eh, so long as I have the game all the way figured out by league's end, then I can call that a 'win'.

Commander Shadow Sun Part 1

o/

After slathering my Wreck-Age technical in half a bottle of Agrax Earthshade ink, I did the only sensible thing a gamer could do whilst waiting for the ink to dry: I started on another project. That being my Beloved Wolfy's Commander Shadow Sun, the leader of her Fem Fa' Tau army. 

Pink trimmed guns are especially good at killing space marines!

I've been wanting to paint this mini for awhile anyways, and got the base colors on at least. I did have a little fun with Neverness, texting him that I was painting Ultramarines. He thought I'd (quote) gone mad, until he realised I was just referring to the Smurf debris that litters Shadow Sun's base. 

Perhaps I should add a Primaris helmet too...

I hope to have the technical finished for my next post, after which this mini is next in line.

My wife doesn't play very nice...

o/

This past Saturday, we finally got another game of Kill Team in, our first mini game in what seems like forever. I was fielding my Farsight Enclave Tau with human auxiliaries, My Beloved Wolfy had her Fem Fa'Tau with Kroot auxiliaries, and Bob had his Dark Angels. Neverness was supposed to play as well, but (as it turns out wisely) fled the field of battle in apparent terror before we even deployed.

One of my Fire Warriors in the old, soon-to-be-repainted color scheme and some auxiliaries coming up on a Dark Angel.

And um yeah...she kicked our asses.

The first shot of the game, her crisis suit turned my recently painted Cadre Fireblade (who was serving as a shas'ui) into a smoking crater and it just went down hill from there. With 1st blood out of the way, she then proceeded to kill both of our team leaders, all of our specialists, and break both of our forces as well. Leadership tests were quite hard on Bob despite his ATSKNF rerolls, and...well, Tau and leadership...you know how that went.

Emerging from that ruin on the right, you can see the Fem Fa'Tau breachers killing all before them despite not getting into 'magic range'.

All told, when Bob and I folded at the top of turn 6 with one model a piece, we didn't even bother with tallying up VPs, as I think they would have come out as Wolfy: all of 'em, and Bob and I: zilch.

Oh well, it was a fun game at least.

Mr. Dangly Bitz

 As the convoy of Knarlocs came to a halt, the Kroot Shaper took in his surroundings. The scouts had chosen well, deep beneath the canopy they were hidden from Imperial aircraft, and well beyond the range of their artillery. Yes it would do. With a gesture his warriors set about making camp, hobbling the Knarlocs so they wouldn’t wander off, and securing their human prisoners to several large trees.

Humans...such sad creatures. Their Fem Fa’Tau allies referred to these as Catachan Jungle Fighters. The Tau spoke as if they were a dangerous foe in the forests. The Kroot had balked at the notion and rightly so. Like all, typical humans, these were poor opponents. A loud and boisterous lot, oblivious to their surroundings...clearly they’d felt safe from any threat and were taken by total surprise with nary a shot fired, still the Shaper was curious.

I'm really pleased with how this mini turned (despite the 'brass balls').

Their leader, ‘Sarge’ his men had called him, was separated from the rest for interrogation. All of the prisoners were stripped naked to ensure no blades were hidden to allow them escape, a lesson hard learned a few weeks earlier in the campaign. The man’s body language was defiant, his eyes seethed with hatred.

Taking a moment to wrap his alien tongue around the human language, the Shaper spoke."Brass balls...what means this?"

"W...what?" The prisoner was instantly dumbfounded.

"We tracked your patrol, for long while, you spoke loudly and gestured (pointing to the man’s groin) you say BRASS BALLS! Loudly, many times...what means this?"

Still confused the sergeant gave the worst possible answer to the Kroot. "It means I’m brave. A fierce warrior."

"Brave. Fierce Warrior." Repeated the Shaper, his eyes lighting up with delight!

With a deft motion, almost too fast to follow, a blade was in the Shaper’s hand, the man’s ‘bravery’ was sliced from his body and the Shaper popped the morsels into his beak and began to chew!

He pondered his meal...not the most delectable part of the human anatomy...perhaps he ought to have washed them first. Normally, they fed these along with the other scraps to the hounds.

The prisoner however was wailing far in excess of what the Shaper thought appropriate for losing such a small piece of his anatomy. Further still, many of the other prisoners had cried out as well, and all were watching with emotions ranging from panic to abject horror!

Brave. Fierce warrior...maybe there was some connection after all. 

*****

In the early dawn, the Kroot broke camp in preparation for another raid on the humans. As what was left of the human carcasses were strapped back onto the Knarlocs, the Shaper tinkered with his kit, mulling over the previous evening.

Ya know ya wanted
to see 'em...

The rest of the prisoners, despite having been bound at the wrists and ankles had fought savagely to avoid their leader’s fate. So much so that two Kroot warriors suffered injury in the process of butchering the humans in preparation for the night’s meal.

The Shaper secured two, brass colored containment spheres to a preserved paw, taken from a wild beast, killed some time ago but kept as a talisman. He then strapped these to his lower torso, with the spheres dangling between his legs. They felt awkward. Brass Balls...so strange humans were.

*****

...aaaaand there you have it folks, the backstory of ‘Mr. Dangly Bitz’, my Beloved Wolfy’s first, and thus far only (I think) converted mini. She’s quite proud of her customization (I’m notta fan even though I realize its something of a play on the fact that 40k is largely a guy’s realm). Its always annoyed me that we had to look between the legs of the various Kroot  minis to figure out which one was the Shaper (meaning I rarely bothered).

Kinda hard to see, but the banner is
from the 11th Catachan.

With a bit of patience I eventually I found an Ethereal’s hover drone cheap on eBay and added it to her conversion making Mr. Dangly bitz instantly recognizable. No doubt the drone was bartered as partial payment for services to the Tau Empire. Handles were added for ease of tying it to a Knarloc for transport/storage when not in use, and the markings are most likely a signature/symbol of ownership.

The Shaper’s metallic coloring came out a bit greener than I wanted, but looks alright I suppose. I was aiming for the blues, greens and golds of a peacock. Now with another Tau mini in the completed column, I suppose I ought to work on Kushial’s dreadnought a bit more. Especially since I know Neverness eagerly awaits facing it!

Da Masta Cheef rants about 8th ed's rumors

Okay look: When I started this out, it wasn't going to be a rant on the subject, but then on the read-thru...well, it just kinda turned out that way. Again. As usual. 

Once again a new edition is almost upon us and I really want to be cautiously optimistic, but at the same time given my past experience with 40k’s various ‘updates’ I can’t help but feel like I’m cringing with trepidation as well. GW Fanbois and Haters alike are all over the various rumor blogs/FB pages screaming their opinions resulting in a bunch of white noise with little to no substance. 

Thus, adding to the din: here are my thoughts on what I've read the most about thus far:

WE LISTENED AND GAVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED!

Considering that I think the ‘pie chart’ below of what GW perceives the 40k fanbase to be is entirely accurate, I doubt it.

You disagree? HERESY! *BLAM!*

EVERYTHING IS VIABLE! • NO BROKEN UNITS!

Yes, yes…we’ve heard this all before, so when reading GW’s current hype vs. their proven track record on these two subjects, I think many a player will be disappointed as usual.

NO DEATHSTARS!

GW’s so-called play testers have never come close to breaking the game like their player base has. As such, ‘no Deathstars’ is a laughable notion.

WHOMEVER CHARGES INTO CLOSE COMBAT STRIKES FIRST!

If that's the case then it will be an (((AMAZING))) improvement for Orks! Now whether or not that's just a hammer-of-wrath-like hit, or all of their attacks remains to be seen, but either way its desperately needed fix for a HTH army that invariably hits last in virtually EVERY close combat situation. (See? There's some positivity in the mess.)

Seriously, I'm actually stoked about that one!

THE MOST ROBUST 40K EDITION EVER!

A minor rewording of the standard issue marketing written about every release, moving on…

THE HORUS HERESY RULES WILL STAY THE SAME!

(actually, they’re not really shouting about this bit).

Having spent $150 this past year on two newly updated ‘Red books’ (and still contemplating a third) I should hope not! That said, its inevitable I suppose, and there’s are thousands of people who’ve spent tons on $50 hardback codexes that are soon to be obsolete (and this is already generating justifiable player unhappiness).

3-WAYS TO PLAY WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE WANTS!

Okay look. AoS was an absolute clusterfuck when it was released without any sort of point system. Players all over the world started immediately to develop their own to try and bring some sense of balance and playability to the game within their local groups. The only people that I know who enjoyed it in the original form, played it with their kids who are quite young. New blood = Good. Alienating VAST swathes of veteran players = Bad. Even GW figured that out. 

AoS sales spiked initially (like any new edition does) and then nosedived into oblivion. (until...) The General’s Handbook corrected the obvious failings of the game's initial release and players received the book with near universal acclaim. As such the games' financial numbers are believed to exceed, the old WHFB which is what GW wanted in the first place. Its probably described as: WINNING! in the shareholder meetings.

Looking towards 8th ed, GW's upper echelons no doubt compared apples to oranges and didn't see any difference at all (most likely due to the usual combination of their entrenched 'group think' corporate mentality and absolutely no market research what-so-ever) and jumped to the conclusion that this will work for 40k too. BRILLIANT! When in truth, its probably just as much of a shot in the dark as the initial AoS release was.

FREE RULES PDFs!

Yay. Now those of us who don’t have tablets, or (conversely) don’t want their tablets to be filled up with nothing but 40k rule PDFs can print them out at Kinkos (or whatever FedEx calls it now). My apologies to the trees, some us old schoolers still prefer actual books. $25-30 soft backs were fine, people only started to pushback on codexes when GW decided they all should be $50 coffee table books with very, very short lifespans. 

Here's to another 30+ years of Ultra-Fucking-Marine-Blue!

THE FOCUS IS ON IMPERIUM vs. CHAOS!

Translation: SUCK IT XENOS PLAYERS! (as usual). Before anyone pipes up about Tau and the Eldar, I expect those two armies will take a good solid kick to the groin. Like 30k, 40k looks to finally become an ALL POWA ARMA game with that revelation. True, those two sides include others like the Inquisition, SoBs (lolz), IG, the mechanicum and daemons. But POWA ARMA is where its at! 

Oh and pray to whatever gods will listen that all that new Chaos Legions flavor carries through into the new edition, instead of just becoming another fondly remembered 4.5 CSM codex the likes of which won’t be seen again for another decade whilst the ultramarine blue loyalist marines get all the good rules. 

Also, steel yourselves for the possibility of GW rolling all 3 Eldar factions into one fluff shredding ‘Aeldari’  faction, and similar AoS shenanigans like renaming ’Orks’ to ‘Orruks’ and other stupid sounding names that no one else has made up yet in order to be able to trademark EVERYTHING! Just remember kids: BRAND IDENTITY is more important than FLUFF. Though I might be okay with it, if they changed ‘Space Marines’ to ‘Spess Mahreenz’.

Speaking of a kick to the groin, let's hope there's an actual death to the 'death from the skies' phase. Not likely, but one can always hope...

THE GAME WILL BE EVER EVOLVING!

lol, did they say *free rules*? Yes well, while they’re not a ‘rules company’, you’ll still need to buy a $50-75 rulebook every so often (read that as: 2-3 per year) to keep current and get all the really cool shit. Oh, and speaking of 'evolving' when is GW going to try and alter their player base to not be such a freaking sausage-fest? 

Hell, Warmahordes' and Infinity minis are almost 50/50 male-to-female (and as a result are a lot more appealing to female gamers, even despite Corvus Belli's overly-sexualized female poses), whereas GW? Well yeah, no idea why some nerd's violent sexual fantasy the Sisters Repentia didn't help em' cross the vast, gender divide...

But, but...then they released the Sisters of Silence right?

Sadly, once again, the 'boob armor' failed to entice the ladies. I'm sure the notion that two requirements of their combat regimen is to not only be a soulless bitch, but also to permanently shut their fucking mouths didn't help either.

Suddenly they sound like the Emprah's trailer trash don't they?

- Epilogue -

Bitter much? Isn't it obvious?

So was this post even necessary? Doubt it.

Was it constructive? Certainly not.

Cathardic? Quite.

Are you done yet? For the moment...

Rogue Stars, the 2nd round...

o/

My grumpy little alien Bob.

We interrupt all this Space Marine goodness for a game of Rogue Stars with my Beloved Wolfy and our buddy Hoss. We were all using the same crews as we did in our first game, though in between this game and that one, Hoss and Wolfy's crews had another, separate skirmish which she won handily.

The objectives were six randomly placed, and unmarked loot tokens. Three were duds and three were worth VPs if they were hauled off of the board by a player's character. So two rival pirate crews trying to steal stuff and a Star Cops crew trying to stop them and recover the soon-to-be-stolen goods. Well that sounds about right.

This isn't really a battle report, just a few photos and highlights. 

The battlefield from Wolfy's point of view.

Taco's typical run forward and shoot something! In this case, Hoss's 'super stealthy ninja chick' near the shuttle in the background, putting her out of action. Whilst Hoss's Star Cop Sergeant skulks around in the background.

Wolfy's Bruuna. That's such a badass looking mini, though I'm a little less fond of her after she gunned down my crew's leader Catalina and then tried to shoot my medic (Bucket) as the robot was administering first aid!

Wolfy's Malakite as she pumps yet more rounds into my already bullet riddled Taco. Taco did manage to graze her with a shot, but didn't stop her from grabbing that loot counter that she's standing on and fleeing the field with it.

Over the course of the game, I managed to successfully steal 2 loot counters via Bob and ZOTT! (my minion bot who I didn't manage to get a pic of) and I took 1 enemy model out of action (shot by Taco) for a total of 9 VPs.

Wolfy managed to steal one counter as well via Malakite, and she also took 2 enemy players out of action (including my leader, Catalina) also for a total of 9VPs, so the game ended in a tie.

Hoss's Cops didn't recover any of the loot or capture any pirates, but did take Wolfy's leader B'Yonsae out of action for 3VPs.

All of the wounded were either carried off or (in the case of my robot Taco), managed to limp off of the field. The recovery of wounded crew members is quite necessary, as those lost on the field of battle could potentially die afterwards.

Likewise, as we keep using the same crews, the end-of-game VPs turn into XPs to improve the crew for a later games. Rogue Stars is a fun little diversion from the other games we play, and the closest we've come to finding something akin to RPG campaign (well, in the vaguest of terms I guess).

As you might expect, fun was had by all, and we're hoping to play again next weekend.

Perhaps it was faulty intel...?

o/

I took my Alpha Legion/Outremar army on its first official outing this past Saturday vs. Bob and his Iron Warriors. This was to be the point where theoryhammer would be put to the test. I was using the Sacrificial Offering Rites of War, where my Outremar only deploy and more or less act as bait, and all of my Alpha Legionnaires would arrive via reserves and outflank. Sounds great on paper and I was dying to see how it would work on the table top!

Turns out, Bob's army was the perfect foil for this tactic, as his army included a pair of landraiders full of Cataphractii Terminators on the flanks, ugh! Anti-tank weaponry is sorely lacking in my army which is something I've needed to address for quite some time but never actually got around to doing. Still, my Alpha Legionnaires pressed the attack!

The following of more of a highlight reel rather than a proper battle report:

It wasn't till the bottom of turn 2 that I thought to start taking photos. Here you see the Alpha Legion arriving enmass on turn 2. That said, I never bothered to take pics of the Techmarine & Servitors, Predator and Exodus' paltry right flank assault force. Despite Exodus killing nearly every marine he shot at!

Everyone knows how this one goes, we've all been there: 4 meltaguns in point blank range = 1 penetrating hit which turned that curious looking twin-lascannon sponson into goo. Yeah, good job guys. The termies wanted none of that and jumped out to eliminate the threat. One was vaporized via overwatch before they tore my tactical support squad to pieces...

Ya know, the Iron Warriors' trait which allows them to not have to take morale tests inflicted by shooting casualties? Yeah well, my Centurion was starting to loathe that right about here...

The Outremar cower in fear as death itself approaches the other side of their Aegis defense line.... 

To their credit, the little bastards passed their LD check due to being stubborn in their deployment zone, and kept these monsters in place for another round...

My flank assault is caught in the Iron Warriors' lethal crossfire, and quickly the ranks start to thin...

You know how this went, but it made for a nice photo op at least.

The shattered remains of my Centurion lead blob finally reaches the Breachers marines, and they would spend the rest of the game there (with the Centurion and Apothecary becoming my army's only survivors).

The Iron Warriors Praetor and command squad charge my Outremar Force Commander ("The Gov'na") and his Grenadier bodyguards. They Outremar were eradicated w/o inflicting any return casualties.

In the end, we tallied the Vps as: Iron Warriors 12, Alpha Legion 0. In hindsight I'm not sure how we reached that number as Bob had 3 objectives, 1st blood, line breaker & martial hubris (i.e.: Alpha Legion arrogance) VPs., which totals 6...that said, I still had none. So mathematical skills aside (of which I have few), it still totaled out to Iron Warriors: lots, Alpha Legion: (still) at 0. At least I didn't get tabled!

Still it was a fun game and Bob and I reminisced a bit mid-game about how our 30k game was 'like how 40k used to be'. As such whilst it may be back to the drawing board for my army, I'm looking forward to more 30k in the future!

On a much different note: Playing a game of Rogue Stars vs. Hoss,  my Beloved Wolfy killed half of his force with brutal efficiency and caused his survivors to flee the field! Thus, if we lump our two games together it comes out to a draw!