Light Of Life

I wished he was here, to give me company,
Until the sky fell down, upon him and me.
But the news of his demise, made me go so sore,
Even before he knew, he'd have a kid to adore.

I yearned so much, to him, say 'I love you',
But fate didn't allow me, even a last aideu.
He was my soul sure, he was my world,
Everything I now saw, looked so unpurled.

When all about life, was black with gloom,
And all I felt, was impending doom,
When my bones were racked with grim despair,
And every breath, was just a gasp of air..

When I could only sigh, and only grope,
All I could give myself, was a chance of hope.
I hoped my cloud, would have a silver lining,
Just enough to make this world, a place worth living.

When days to weeks, weeks to months, in me, you turned,
Within me, feelings and emotions, just churned and churned.
You finally entered the world, and weren't a suprise,
But yet my darling, it took me time, to finally realise.

You're the greatest gift, God could ever bestow,
The most exquisite joy, than I would ever know.
You're just what's needed, to take away, all my strife,
Just know that my baby, you're truly, The Light of my Life.

Until next time,
Chandana Shekar

Keep them safe, Keep them close. Them Friends.

If you ever feel like you've lost your groove, talk to the friends who know you from before your journey started. Talk to the friends who know where you were headed to. Talk to the friends who applaud your confidence. Talk to the sister who looks up to you. Look at yourself through their eyes. Your sparkle will be back in a trice!

I recently wrote this on my facebook wall. JLT. Funny as it may seem, I indeed had to "talk to a friend" within a couple of days. Again! 

I'm immensely blessed to have friends, who I can trust my life with. Knock-on-wood! The ones who know me better than I do. The ones who value me more than I do. The ones who literally pick up my 4AM phone calls, half way across the world and don't complain. The ones who plan a Go-Goa for my vacation that's a month short of a year away. The ones who make vonage and whatsapp indispensable to my existence. The ones who time and again remind me that I save lives for a living. The ones who keep me from going insane from residency monotony. The ones who answer my tax-filing questions, for the umpteenth time. The ones who urge me to eat home-cooked food so that my body isn't a hoarder house.  The ones who are merry company to St.Patty's day parade, as well as Ugadi Temple runs. The ones who say, "If he's lucky, he'll stay. If he's a loser, he'll leave". Be it a shopping spree, or career changes, or relationship drama, or not wasting my gym membership, or working weekend plans around my im-working-the-weekend schedule, or having a deep convo with the Old Monk, I surely have a treasure trove! 

I'm not blowing my own trumpet here. I'm just counting my blessings. I'm barely expressing my appreciation, from the bottom of my heart. To those gems, who know who they are. They've not only made a place for themselves on my photo-collage-wall, but they stay deeply etched in my heart. 

Nevertheless, I have a point to make. No matter what you are or have in life, your values and your people are your two inestimable fortunes. Hugs and kisses, love and laughter, fun and frolic, peace and happiness, it all stems from having these incredible folks around. Family of course if life's greatest blessing. Friends on the other hand, are the family we choose ourselves. School and college life apart, kicking off adult life can be lonely. Especially when you're in a different unfamiliar land. When you're not in the comfortable and safe bubble, created back home by your kith and kin. A lot of people enter your life and a lot of them leave. They have to leave! For you don't want any kinda malignancy around you. But once you find those vital few, the ones where quality scores over quantity, the ones who get you, the ones who genuinely try to get you, the ones with whom distance and time don't matter, you're all set! In return, make sure you do your part right. Make them feel special. Even if it means singing karaoke on her birthday, though you hate it. Coz she loves it. Just suck it up and sing! It's her birthday!! Any good relationship always brings out the better part of each other. But to start with, love your friends for who they are. Love them enough to acknowledge when they are being weird. If he is being a bummer, get to the bottom of it instead of writing him off as a jerk. Take one for the team. Cheer her up. Wine and cheese always work! Shopping is a close second. Chocolates, manicures and men - well, are perennial! Drop an invite. Let her vent. Do not lecture. Don't judge him. Say she's missed. Back him up. Don't keep score. Honor your promises. And all the more.

Well, I need not tell you any further. She's your BFF. He's your mate. You know better. 

Nurture friendship. For when you're down in the trenches, they are the ones with you. 

Loads of love, 

Chandana Shekar

p.s.: Yes, I noticed the rustiness in the writing too! In my defense, I wrote after more than a year. :p ;) 

Her Fall Fiesta

With crunchy, crinkly leaves everywhere

Autumn had painted the town yellow, orange and red.

She changed the wreath on her door, again

Like she had every year, for all of sixty seven.

Until next time, 

Chandana Shekar

The Woman

"You're gonna be a Surgeon? How will you find time to raise kids?", he asked.

"Just like my Mom did", answered the daughter of a Surgeon.

Until next time,
Chandana Shekar

Her New Year's Eve

She had waited for this since forever. It had been like a cover page for her big American dream. She was a simple Indian small town girl who had dreamed of making it big in the USA. Through all those years of aspiring and all those years of struggling, this had looked like a light at the end of the tunnel. And now, with a social security number and a job in the Land of Liberty, it was the last day of the best year of her life, 2014. She wrapped up work for the day as soon as she could. Having tucked her patients in, being glad she wasn't on a call-block working on new years, having stopped by CVS to buy that lip gloss she was out of, she couldn't stop being excited about her first long drive in her first bought car. It was gonna be a road trip with a girlfriend. To a party, she felt she totally deserved. It was 3 hours and 120 miles for the New Year's Eve party at New York City!

All decked up and fancy, she was joined by people she knew, and people they knew, who didn't really know each other. Did they seem to like each other? Oh well, it didn't matter. It was a Pier, with Indie music and a dance floor. And it came with munchies and spirits! It had been months since she had danced to a Bollywood number. Miles away from the hindi-land and hectic hours at her medicine internship, she had totally missed that particular joy. Sporting a new-year-tiara, she was all smiles while she greeted people, danced, made merry and awaited 2015.

But at the strike of midnight, when it was hugs and kisses all around her, she realized that she missed people. She sensed the feeling of being alone in a crowd. It was literally that.  Her friends and family back home were done with the midnight celebration hours ago. They had called her then and said they missed her. She had her drunk-and-happy friends shouting "Happy New Year" in un-synchronized chorus over speaker phone and a tear had peeked from the corner of her eye. She missed them. She missed those celebrations and parties, those hugs and love. Almost every soul who loved her was in a different continent, a different time zone.

Right at that thought, her phone rang. It was her family wishing her New Year's at 'her' time. With all her heart, she embraced the fondness from across the miles. Just then did someone blatantly interrupt her conversation. "Phone calls aren't allowed here, talk to people in person", he said. "It's the eve and he's high on spirits!", she thought as she awed at his audacity. "Happy new year, could I borrow you for a dance?" said the starry eyed stranger.  She couldn't help but smile and nod as he walked her to the floor. As moments passed and they made company, the overtly blunt guy seemed all chivalrous to her. What more, the tall-dark-handsome hailed from the favourite part of her second favourite city in the world! The place which she connected with, the place which had given her freedom, friends and frolic. No wonder the instant spark. No wonder the dance lasted long. No wonder the chatter was so much fun. Like the more the merrier, another person joined in the yapping,  and then another. And before she knew it, company had turned into a group, which turned into a herd. They talked gibberish, danced drunk and laughed hysteric. She partied until her head spun and laughed until her belly hurt.

Calling it a night and bidding good byes, everyone retired to their abodes. Settled in the train, looking through the window into the darkness, she didn't feel home sick anymore! Atleast not for that moment. Ofcourse everything and everybody back home was, is and would remain special. They were her back bone and safety net. But she had just had fun like she would have if she was with her peeps. She was still smiling and that was good. She realized that it was by choice that she had moved countries and started on a new journey here. She had made her loved ones proud and the others envious. It was a chapter where she learnt state of art medicine, made friends from all over the world, drove on the right side of the road and paid taxes for the first time. Despite the long hours, annoying beepers and all the hardships that came with intern year, she had her share of blessings to count. She had her go-to-people who watched out for her, seniors who consoled her saying it would get better with time, and friends who whined about work over wine. Life was good at the the moment. And so would be the year.

At dawn, it was a fresh day to go to work. Her soul smiled and lips formed a curve as she reminisced the night before. Would they meet again?, she wondered. May be, or may be not. Would she want that? May be or may be not. Oh well, it was time to get into internship survival mode again. One foot in front of another, just get through the day.

And just as she pulled out of her driveway, her cell phone chimed.  "Hello!", said a text from a 646 number.


Until Next time,
Chandana Shekar


P.S.: "A good story is always better than a dazzling piece of truth" - Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth tale