It's Been Fun!

Posted by C.L. (Cindy) Beck



This will be my last post at the Writing Fortress. I wish it didn't have to come to an end, because I've enjoyed associating with the other authors here, as well as enjoyed the friends who've stopped by to read and/or comment. The moderator, Rebecca Talley, has been wonderful and it's been a joy working with her. I've appreciated that Cedar Fort has afforded me this opportunity, as well.

Alas, however, I have two other blogs that I write, and am in the process of spit shining (ugg, now that's an ugly image :) a manuscript that I hope to submit to a publisher soon. With all that I have going on, time just runs away, leaving me behind with a half finished to-do list every day.

That's the way life is, though, isn't it? Choosing between alternatives, even when both are good causes, is one of the things we're put on this earth to learn. Of course, that's just Beck 3:7 that I'm quoting, and anyone looking for it in the scriptures isn't likely to find it ... at least not in the same way that I just phrased it!

Thanks again to both the readers and authors who've graced my life with their presence and comments here at the blog. It's been fun!

~ Cindy

If anyone would still like to follow me, I'd be tickled pink ... and all other shades of color, too. You can find me at my humor blog.

Showing Grace and a Big Announcement

By Nichole Giles

Last Sunday, a lady in Relief Society asked about my upcoming book release and, after hearing the details, turned to the woman sitting next to her and said, “Did you know Nichole’s a famous author?” The statement took me aback. My book hasn’t even been released yet. And though it’s at the printers even as I write this blog (release details to follow), even when it is in stores and on shelves nationwide (I hope) does that really make me a famous author?

Not really. The truth is, very few people will ever associate my face with that cover—or any other cover of a book I write—unless one of my books becomes a New York Times bestseller. And while I do have goals of reaching that list, I believe it takes a book of Twilight and Harry Potter proportions to connect book covers with author faces. At least for most people. (Maybe I’ll be the exception? I certainly hope so.)

But that doesn’t mean I won’t meet hundreds, or thousands of people in my travels, and those people will come to know me—the person—and my actions and behavior toward them will most definitely color their opinion of my work as an author. It may not be fair for people to think that way, but that’s one of life’s truths, so I may as well be prepared to always be gracious and kind to those I meet.

Grace is not something that comes naturally to everyone, but it is necessary in the life of an author to never forget the importance of first, second, and last impressions. That does not mean, of course, that I have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but it does mean I should be conscious of how I present myself when making a public appearance. It means I should always be conscious of how I come across when I speak, and greet my fans, and when I discuss other authors and their books. It is imperative to my future that I come across as a good person, and an author who cares about the world and those in it.

In case you’re wondering why this topic is so forefront in my mind that I’d choose to blog about it today—the week of Thanksgiving—I actually do have a reason. And I have a big, new reason to be thankful. Mormon Mishaps and Mischief has officially gone to press. Yahoo!

Those interested in advance purchase can already order it online here, here, or here.

Because the book will be arriving in stores with only two weeks to spare before the big holiday, Cindy and I are in the midst of planning a whirlwind week of signings, starting off with an enormous launch party at Barnes and Noble in Orem, Utah on December 9th from 6-9:00 pm. We’ve also set up a second signing date at the Barnes and Noble in Sandy, Utah on December 19th, and since this one is a Saturday, we’ll be in the store from 11:00 am-1:00 pm. More dates to follow later.

Guess what? Everyone is invited. And when I say everyone, I mean you, your family, your neighbors, your ward members, friends you haven’t talked to since your school days, friends you talk to now, and total strangers you just met on the street.

The launch is going to be a party of massive proportion, and by showing up, you’ll have the opportunity to meet more authors than just Cindy and me. We've invited many of our contributors, and expect to see lots of them there, so this is indeed a rare opportunity. Come have your books signed, eat treats, enter drawings, win prizes and share a fun night out that you won’t soon forget. I promise you won’t be sorry you stopped by. And if you can’t make the launch, show up to one of the signings later in the month. We’ll be doing giveaways at all events in December.

To stay updated on scheduled events, be sure to check the LDS Humor blog regularly. While you’re there, become a follower and sign up for our newsletter. You can also follow us on Facebook and Twitter.

Have a wonderful, incredible holiday, and don’t forget to share a few laughs with the important people in your life. Those people are the gifts for which we should truly be the most thankful.

Until next time, write on.

Nichole

Mishaps, Mischief, and Winners, Yahoo!

By Nichole Giles

A few weeks ago, my brilliant, beautiful, and multi-talented coauthor, Cindy Beck, announced that we are giving away a copy of our upcoming book, Mormon Mishaps and Mischief: Hilarious Stories for Saints.

The book itself won’t be on shelves until December, but we can’t wait for its release, and we’re pretty sure our 89.9 million fans can’t wait either, so…yeah. We’re giving away a copy now, and hoping the winner is a patient person, who doesn’t mind waiting for their prize until we actually have one to give. So sorry we can’t give away a llama—as requested—or dinner with a ghost, but perhaps we can send along a free bookmark or…some uneaten Christmas candy.

Or maybe one day we’ll just give away love. It’s all we need, right? (I think that’s what the song says.) But if you want to enter that drawing, you might need to check the updates at the LDS Humor blog.

Our book, Mormon Mishaps and Mischief: Hilarious Stories for Saints, contains humorous, true stories of Latter-day Saints that will have you holding your sides and laughing. It covers everything from bloopers at the pulpit and gaffes at priesthood campouts to blunders during family home evening. The book makes a great gift for yourself, family, friends, or even a Christmas gift for your home teachers—when they finally show up on December 31.
And the winner is…

Niid Raun

Congratulations, Niid! (Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, cheer, cheer, dance.) To collect your prize, please email us your snail mail information to the humor committee at ldshumor at yahoo dot com. Whatever you do, please don’t camp out at your mailbox waiting anxiously for your prize to arrive. You might freeze to death when it snows.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled blog reading!

A Taste of Purple Prose

By Cindy Beck




Now that you've read the title of this blog entry—

What? You didn't read the title? Well, I'll give you a minute ... go take a look again.

Okay, now that everyone's read it, I'll bet some of you are asking yourself, "What in the world is purple prose?"

According to Wikipedia, purple prose is ... a term of literary criticism used to describe passages, or sometimes entire literary works, written in prose so overly extravagant, ornate, or flowery as to break the flow and draw attention to itself. Purple prose is sensually evocative beyond the requirements of its context. It also refers to writing that employs certain rhetorical effects such as exaggerated sentiment or pathos in an attempt to manipulate a reader's response.

To put it a little more succinctly, it's prose that's overwritten and uses a lot of adjectives, adverbs, similes, metaphors, and run-on thoughts. Not enjoyable to read in a novel, but most certainly fun to read in a contest.

Recently, QueryTracker held a purple prose contest, and if you go here, you can read interesting facts, as well as examples of it.

When the contest winners were announced, I was excited to hear the winner was one of Cedar Fort's own authors, Rachelle Christensen. (Rachelle's book, Lost Children: Coping with Miscarriage will come out in 2010.)

For your enjoyment, here's Rachelle's entry:

When he heard about the empurpled contest on Query Tracker, the coils of dark, multitudinous hair which made up his eyebrows knit together in fury, like a spry grandmother’s knitting needles, clicking incessantly and rapidly, the sun’s rays illuminating them with a silver gleam, like the gleam of a young child’s brand new bicycle bedecked in all its glory with lemon-colored streamers and chiffon paint with stripes of lavender that shimmered like the violet hue of his eyes which were now thoughtful; the wrinkles around his wide, pupil-inhabited orbs seemed pensive as he considered how he might win Query Tracker’s contest and emerge a champion like a magnificent Olympic sports-star—but not like Greg Luganis because he hit his head—instead his own powerful kind of win—the kind to fill a man’s soul with joy to overflowing like a large bowl of Rocky Road ice cream with ostentatious helpings of steaming hot fudge, but not butterscotch because it would contrast with the rich hues of the chocolate which was so sweet as would be his joy when he won—like a bareback rider in the National Rodeo Finals hanging on for dear life to a fraying strap of yellowed rope—he imagined this with fervor, gripping the gleaming pen in his hand as he began to write.

You just have to laugh at such a long sentence that basically says ... well ... nothing. But, of course, that was the point in the contest. It's not, however, something we want to recreate in our writing.

If you'd like to read a few of the other QueryTracker entries—so that you know what not to do in your upcoming, best-selling novel—click here.


(Thanks to Rachelle Christensen for allowing me to post her winning entry.)

---

Getting to Know Nichole Giles

By Nichole Giles (who else would be writing about me?)

Last Monday, my good friend and co-author Cindy Beck introduced herself, and throughout the week, you’ve probably gotten to know a few of the other authors who will be blogging here.

I suppose that means it’s my turn. My name is Nichole Giles, and I’m a writer. Hm, that sounds almost like a twelve-step program or an AA meeting—but then again, I suppose writing is something of an addiction for me. I’ve been actively pursuing my creative career for almost six years—which basically means I take classes, have joined critique groups (yes, that’s plural), and attend conferences as often as possible.

As Cindy mentioned, our book, Mormon Mishaps and Mischief: Hilarious Stories for Saints is being published by Cedar Fort this coming December, something for which I’m extremely excited. This particular project is special to me because it includes contributions from several of my writer friends, all of whom have side-splitting stories to tell. Keep your eyes peeled—wait, back up, that’s not even possible, besides the fact that it’s a total cliché. How about keep your eyes open? Yes, that’s better. Anyhow, this book will make an awesome Christmas gift for anyone and everyone you know, and hits shelves just in the nick of time. (Hey, was that an advertisement? I think maybe it was…)

Okay, back to me. I was born in Nevada, but lived in many interesting places between Utah and Arizona, and went to a different school every year of my young life—except 7th-8th grade. I was lucky enough to attend only one junior high school.

In fifth grade I read the book Cheaper by the Dozen and loved it so much, I told everyone who would listen that I was going to have twelve children when I grew up. Since my husband didn’t share my love for that particular book, we’ve settled on the number four, and added two golden retrievers.

Speaking of my husband, we met while I was working in the toy section of a local department store. He was the security guard on duty. We talked less than five minutes and then he left so I could return something for a customer. I was so distracted that I completely botched the return, and my manager made me go into a training session so I could re-learn how to do returns. Gary came back and asked me out before the end of my shift, and the rest is, as they say, history.

Right now I’m working on several projects, and am crossing my fingers that my awesome publisher will decide to say yes to the submission I sent them last month. (Could I be any more obvious?)

If you’d like to read more about me and what I’m doing, feel free to visit my personal blog. Or, if you’re in the mood for a good laugh, come on over to the LDS Humor blog. If you still can’t get enough, look me up on Facebook. Otherwise, you can find me here every other Monday.

See you next time, and until then, write on.

A Few Tidbits about Cindy Beck

By ... none other than Cindy Beck





For those who don't already know me, let me introduce myself. My name is Cindy Beck, and I'll be posting on the first Monday of the month. My most outstanding physical features are that I'm under-tall and mostly gray. (My hair, not my face.)

If you looked at the photo above—which was taken sometime in the last century—you might not have observed that I'm under-tall. Mostly because I'm kneeling. However, you probably did notice my cute dog, Corky Porky Pie, who pretty much looks the same today as he did then. I'm sure you'd like to know more about Corky Porky, but he can't type and I can, so you're stuck learning about me.

According to the census taker, my life officially started when I came into the world in Wisconsin. After that, because my dad served in the military, I grew up in several places in the United States.

In college, I majored in entomology (insects), graduating Sum Kinda Buggy from the University of Wyoming. However, I seldom share that information because then people want me to crawl under their homes to check for termites.

Although no one thought of me as funny in school—in fact, most people didn't even think of me at all—I fooled my classmates and grew up to write a humor column for a local Utah newspaper, the Sanpete Messenger.

Despite an irresistible inclination toward humor, my more serious articles and stories have appeared in the Ensign magazine, and in several national anthoglogies—Cup of Comfort for Horse Lovers, Cup of Comfort for Breast Cancer Survivors, and My Dad is My Hero.

My current project is a book called Mormon Mishaps and Mischief. It's co-authored with my good friend, Nichole Giles, and will be published by Cedar Fort in December 2009. The book contains anecdotes of the Saints at their funniest ... from an organist who falls alseep at the keyboard during Sacrament meeting, to a Father and Son Camp-out that accidentally includes lawn sprinklers.

(I'd like to interject here that Cedar Fort has some dynamite editors, who not only can edit half the world's manuscripts in a single bound, but also have a sense of humor.)

To read excerpts from my short stories, visit my website. Or, if you're in the mood for humor, visit my blog or the blog that Nichole and I co-author. You can also get updates on Mormon Mishaps and Mischief there.