Of Men, Knighthood, and Fighting to Protect #Catholic

The reason that we became warriors in the first place was to protect the people we love.

- My husband

I was touched by a New York Times story I found through "Auntie Seraphic's" wonderful blog, Seraphic Singles. Her Sunday entry, Love in the New York Times, was a sad tale of a young woman's quest to find real men to date -- and not "guys." Her definition of "guys" were young men who wanted nothing to do with committing themselves to a relationship, instead preferring a cloudy haze of hanging out and occasional casual sex.

I was both saddened and angered by the article. Saddened that so many young women now have this to deal with, and angered by the seemingly never-ending consequences of radical feminism in our country.

I had a very long discussion with my husband regarding the topic. Basically, I wanted to know how he developed his respect for women. Did it begin when he was younger? What influenced him?

His answers were a mixture of his upbringing, his involvement with Japanese martial arts, and his desire to follow the Biblical pattern for a marriage. My husband had a father who modeled to his sons how to treat women. One time, my husband's older brother back-talked his mother and received a quick slap from his father as he said, "I don't ever want to hear you disrespect your mother like that again." The point was made. You respected your parents and especially didn't mouth off to your mother.

My husband was raised in an era when men usually helped women with heavy burdens like grocery bags and luggage. When he was 20 years old, he became involved with martial arts and was especially intrigued by the Samurai warriors. The Samurai have a code called bushido, translated as "the way of the warrior." Part of the code is treating others with respect and honor. This extended to how the warriors treated women, especially their wives.

I asked my husband if knighthood was similar to the bushido. He said yes. I found it interesting that long ago, throughout the world, there could be found a certain elite class of men who fought for justice, defended the defenseless, and showed respect and honor to women.

When he said the quote I posted above, suddenly I had a revelation of how much we have lost when we started to raise boys who were forbidden to fight.

Feminism destroyed this natural inclination in men by claiming it was wrong to fight, under the guise that "two wrongs don't make a right." Suddenly, fighting either in a battle or simply fighting to defend a woman's honor was attacked. The concept of a righteous battle faded as more and more young boys were scolded for fighting and older young men were belittled for wanting to join the military.

In essence -- the natural desire of men to want to find something worth defending; and then doing it, has been ripped away. In its place, we now have a generation of young men who not only don't know how to fight, but wouldn't know what to fight for if given the opportunity. Aside from our brave men and women in the military, fire departments, and police -- most younger men avoid confrontation of an enemy like the plague.

I grew up with the wise words, "It's always better to use your head than use your hands." However, my father and the men of my family realized that there were times when defending those you loved meant taking a stand. I won't ever forget the time when some teenagers decided to vandalize our home because my father placed a fence on our property, which covered an entrance to a wooded area. One night a big rock was thrown through my window as I was sleeping. (It landed on my bed, thankfully, not on my head.) The next week, a matic (a gardening tool) was thrown through the window again, this time narrowly missing my head.

What did my father do? For one week, he camped outside with his rifle. Of course we called the police, but my father decided he'd do what most normal men would do. He was defending his family from any further attacks.

I remember when the Virginia Tech murders happened. A deranged student nonchalantly walked through the classrooms, lined up the students, and then shot them methodically -- all this while not one man rose up to attack him. After the horrific massacre, I cried out to my husband, "Where were the men?! Could not a small group of them rushed this nutjob and tackled him to the floor where they could have disarmed him?" Obviously the answer to my question was a tragic "no." This generation of young men had the fight bred out of them long before they arrived at college. It was ironic that one of the bravest men during that long ordeal was a Holocaust survivor, who physically prevented the killer from entering his classroom until almost all of the students had escaped through the classroom window.

When men are not clear on what they should defend and why; they become disillusioned and directionless. They have no understanding of honor, let alone knowing how to responsibly conduct themselves in a relationship.

One of the things I deeply desired before I married was to find a man who would fight for me. I meant this on several levels. I wanted a man who would put forth an effort to win my affections and also, a man who would defend me if I was in danger. I will never forget my second date with my husband. We attended the huge Labor Day festival in Cincinnati at the riverfront, to watch the spectacular fireworks show in the evening. The crowd at this annual event is massive, and we finally found a small empty piece of land to stretch out a blanket. After awhile, I got up, saying I needed to find a restroom. My future husband also stood up.

I looked at him, slightly surprised. "Oh, do you need to visit the restroom also?"

He smiled. "No. But I'm going to accompany you. It's a big crowd here and I don't want you to be alone and unescorted."

Can you imagine how shocked I was at the time? I had never had a man say such a thing to me and of course, I was immediately smitten. If I had thought highly of this gentleman before, at that moment he was placed on a very high pedestal!

I know I am old-fashioned in many ways, but I really don't think I'm that different from most women. Most women yearn to be cherished by a man in a relationship and treated with respect. I'm hoping such men aren't completely gone. Our young women are still looking for them.

Wives, Submit to Your Husbands... #Catholic

Old Woman Praying by Jacob Cornelisz Van Oostsanen

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. - Ephesians 5:22 (NKJV)

Few Biblical subjects are more controversial with women than Ephesians 5:22. The concept of submission is almost foreign to the American individualist mindset. Submit? Tell that to the American revolutionists who courageously stood up to King George III and told him to pound sand. Tell that to those who fought for the end of slavery. Tell that to the brave men and women who fought in World War I and II. Submit? In the words of a wise man, "In a pig's eye..."

Although it is admirable to fight against injustice, St. Paul's admonition to women and men (in Ephesians 5) does not pertain to righteous battles but toward the battle of the flesh. This battle is one that all of us are locked into until the day we die. We have come before God to surrender ourselves, to declare that we are sick and in need of the Great Physician, and in doing so, submit ourselves to His will as Jesus Christ did during that very difficult night in the Garden of Gethsemane.

I remember my first confrontation with submission. It was 1982. I was 20 years old and had just joined an InterVarsity Christian Fellowship chapter on campus. I was excited to discover students who, like me, wanted to dig into the Bible. It was during one Bible study that started my journey toward the topic of submission.

One of the Bible study's leader was a strong young woman who was only a few years older than myself. We were engaged in some type of Biblical exercise but for some reason, I didn't want to play along. She insisted. I resisted. We went back and forth until finally I did what she wanted but I was digging in my heels every step of the way. Afterward, I started to ponder the concept of submission. When was it required? How were we to respond? What did we do when every fiber of our being was shouting, "No!" to what was being asked?

Looking back, I still hold the view that the leader was slightly heavy-handed. However, it did start my journey. One of the things I've learned about submission is that if the Biblical pattern holds, we are to submit in spite of the conditions. For example: we are to trust our leaders and submit to them, even when we see their weaknesses. Unless they are asking us to do something that goes against our conscience or is in direct disobedience to Scripture and the Church, then we must prayerfully ask for God's grace to submit.

My favorite teacher for submission is Elisabeth Elliot, a beautiful Protestant woman who was one of the few brave enough to talk about submission. I used to listen to her radio program years ago and she would discuss this topic on occasion. One of her books, Let Me Be a Woman, tackled it but she'd mention it in other books, too. She would often say that a wife was to submit to a husband but to remember that his authority was not earned but received from appointment. She also was the first woman I heard say that the woman actually had the easier job. A woman is to submit to her husband but it is her husband who is to love his wife as Christ loved the Church, sacrificing Himself for her.

Submission is trust. Again, this is a difficult concept for many women who were raised in a culture of "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan..." Women of my generation grew up with feminists telling us there was nothing we couldn't do once we freed ourselves from the "oppressive" chains of men. So there is a very real perception that if one "submitted," she would be exploited and used. The defiant stance of feminism therefore provided a strong wall that promised to protect women. But for many, it only made them suspicious of men and untrusting in relationships.

It took me some time to trust people in general. I went through a difficult time in grade school where I was teased and mocked. Although it was not the most enjoyable time of my life, I learned many lessons. Because of the teasing, I withdrew but explored my own interests, which at the time were reading and drawing. Many of us have similar stories where we thought we could trust someone and they disappointed us, sometimes hurting us deeply. It is always a challenge to forgive and move past such experiences, but through Christ, we are called to do so.

And, we are called to submit to the leadership in our lives, despite having flawed leaders. This is probably one of the most difficult callings of the Christian. Because I was single for so long and did not have a husband, I found myself praying often for God's wisdom in submitting myself to the leadership of my church. One incident in particular stands out.

I was the main intercessor for my small church and had a few other women join me during scheduled times of prayer. One day, I was praying alone in my apartment and felt very strongly that God was giving me a very specific message for my pastor. I felt such a strong sense of urgency about it that I wrote it down in a letter, got on my bicycle and rode to the pastor's home, which was nearby. I arrived breathless and talked to him briefly. Then I gave him the letter. During the prayer time, I sensed that I was to give the letter to my pastor but not talk to him directly about it. I also got to very clear impression from God that after I did this, I was to "let it go." No follow-up. No asking my pastor what he thought. Nothing. I was to completely let it go. And I did.

This definitely was not my usual mode of communication. I was a leader in the church at the time and often would offer my views on various topics and church developments. Along with a small group of six leaders, we would gather frequently to discuss the vision and mission of the church. So this kind of approach was not a usual one for me.

I think the entire episode was an exercise of submission to both God and my pastor. I submitted to what I believed God was calling me to do and also submitted to my pastor's leadership. My pastor never spoke to me about the letter and I never brought it up, even though what the letter addressed was a potential powder keg at the time within our church. For reasons I will never know, my pastor did not diffuse a divisive situation and eventually, the keg blew up and some people left the church. I could see all of this clearly but yet felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to not speak of it at the time to anyone. It was hard-core submission for me, and one that broke my heart. My only consolation was knowing that I had obeyed God to the best of my ability and if I my heart was broken, what of His? I prayed for His grace for the rest of that week.

In Ephesians, the Greek word for "submit" is hypotassō, and it means "to submit one's control, to yield to one's admonition or advice." When I look at the verse about wives submitting to their husbands, my eyes are immediately drawn to the following words: as to the Lord. It's a two-parter. As wives, submission isn't supposed to be a foreign concept. We already are called to submit to the Lord - both women and men. Yielding is not easy for anyone. However, when we do yield to God's will and obey His commandments; when we yield to the Church and the Magisterium, when we yield to our priests and bishops -- something miraculous occurs. Our hearts are softened and God now has a pliable soul to shape and mold for His purposes, not ours.

We wives may never fully understand what it means to our husbands when we show such trust. However, I think one of the benefits can be seen over time. This type of submission leads to a peaceful home. As a wife places her trust first in God and then in her husband, she is saying that God is in control. And when we accept that truth, we find rest.

I do not say such things without a bit of a tug-of-war still playing in my heart. I know such things are not easy but yet there is a blessing to obtain that overcomes my resistance. Doing the will of God will reap enormous rewards in our lives and in my opinion, the greater the reward, the greater the opposition to it. Jesus Christ submitted His own will to His Father's because He could see the glory that awaited Him. As Hebrews 12:2 says: "...looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

That is what I hope to focus upon during this Lent. Whatever I am asked to submit to, may I see ahead to the "joy that is set before me." Submission, in the vast scheme of things, seems to be wildly disproportionate to the reward we'll receive when we trust and yield. Praise God He has given us His Son to show us the way.

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church (Part 3) #Catholic

(Continued from Part 2 here.)

I spent over almost two years as a church secretary. I was nearing graduation from the ministry school and praying for future direction. One day, the vice president of the ministry asked to meet with me. He offered me a position to serve as a pastor within the school and a few opportunities to teach. I was elated. Finally, I felt as though God had answered the desire of my heart to serve Him full-time in the ministry. Ironically, I never thought of being a church secretary as being in "full-time ministry" or when I was working in a secular job, as a place to serve God. I still had narrow definitions when it came to what "serving God" meant and had unknowingly assigned a scale of importance to each area.

The offer of this new position quickly made its rounds within the church and ministry. Many congratulated me and quite a few women fluttered around me to declare that finally, women were being taken "seriously" as an equal partner in the ministry. I held all of these expectations carefully in my heart. On one hand, I had yearned for years for this very moment -- to have the opportunity to pastor. On the other hand, I did not want to give in to what was called "The Jezebel Spirit," which was to be controlling and manipulative. I knew I had to have God's guidance and stepped up my requests for His wisdom.

There was a man who previously held the position I was inheriting. In fact, I learned that he had been "let go" because he simply didn't fit in with the ministry culture. If you've ever worked in a corporate environment that made you feel uncomfortable, there is a good chance you were incompatible with that company. The same can be said of ministries. There are some who fit and others who don't. Many times there are personality conflicts and as much as we'd like to believe that everyone gets along within a ministry, nothing could be further from the truth. I witnessed staff members getting fired or harassed until they quit. One poor man was fired and the senior administration insisted on giving him a "going away" party. His wife fumed on the couch as we waited for the catered lunch. Such treatment was not uncommon.

Back to the man who held this position before me. He was on the Leadership Team. This team consisted of the senior pastor and several associate pastors. None of them were women. When I was hired to fill this position, I expected to be added to the team. However, this did not happen. It was another opportunity for the enemy to twist the knife of rejection in me, assuring me that I wasn't worthy for such a place of honor. I believed these lies only in the most secret place of my heart. Instead, I tried to focus on God's plan for my life and His perfect timing in all things. If I was meant to be on the Leadership Team, I would be. All I needed to do was be patient and wait on God. He had brought me this far, I thought. Why not to the Leadership Team, too?

After two years, I was formally ordained within the church. It was presented as nothing more than "acknowledging what God was already doing within my life," but the women in the church and the women students of the school looked at it as a breakthrough for women. Afterward, I had an increase of women students who formed a consistent line to my office, seeking their day in "spiritual court."

One woman said with exasperation, "When is it going to be my turn? When am I going to be invited to speak at churches, conferences and retreats? I'm so tired of waiting!" I remember encouraging her to wait until God opened doors for her. If she became impatient and tried to force open the doors, then she'd never realize if it was God doing it or her own stubborn ways. She walked away still feeling frustrated.

Some of the woman wanted me to be their mouthpiece, appealing to the senior pastor and associates that for all their talk about recognizing women in the ministry, there was little evidence of it. I was placed in the delicate position of upholding my loyalty and trust in the ministry's leadership while diffusing the unrest of those who were unhappy. It didn't help when a trusted advisor whispered to me at one of the church services that she had watched me walk up the aisle and noticed some people's faces as they looked at me.

"You know what I saw? Jealousy and envy. Pray for protection. I'm already praying this for you." After she walked away, I couldn't help but think -- Jealous? If they only knew.

Within a few years, I started to feel like a young girl who had outgrown a party dress. The things I had thought were so important started to fade away. The more I saw of the ministry, the less I was convinced I was to be a part of it, at least within that particular ministry. Fr. Corapi once said that never had he encountered in the world the level of hatred he received within the Church. I have thought for quite awhile that the admonitions and exhortations in the Bible to love our enemies is not for loving those who are in the world, but for loving our enemies in the church.

I had plenty of opportunity to love and forgive during those years. Sometimes I was victorious with the grace of God. Other times I failed. But through it all, I learned some very important lessons. The most important one, was dying to self.

In 2000, I was starting to experience the early stages of burn-out. I wasn't sure what was next for me, but I suspected my time at the ministry school was coming to a close. It climaxed with a heartless experience with an associate pastor, who coldly told me that my recommendation for a book resource for the upcoming new class of students was not only unacceptable, but just wrong. I suppose it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. That was the moment I decided it was time to leave.

That experience was followed up by another associate pastor visiting me in my office, "warning" me that I didn't want to get on the "bad side" of the other pastor. I assured him I wanted nothing of the sort to happen and that I genuinely thought the book would be of great benefit to the students. He nodded and smiled. And then, as though offering a bribe of candy to a scolded child, said, "You know, there are plans being made to ask you to be a part of the Leadership Team."

And there it was. The one thing I had yearned for since I had first joined the school was being dangled in front of me like a big, juicy carrot. I would be the first woman formally accepted as part of the team. How amazing. The women would finally see that they were really being taken seriously. And... how suddenly irrelevant it all was. The fact of the matter was, I no longer cared about it, nor wanted it. I smiled at him and said something trivial. He ended his visit and I sat there, pondering the journey I had taken and how it led me to a very surprising conclusion.

Somehow, I knew that if I had become part of the Leadership Team, it wouldn't stop there. My desire would be for greater and greater platforms of recognition. I would seek to become a spiritual teacher to hundreds, then thousands, then perhaps tens of thousands. I could see myself saying that I wanted to make a difference, but such a desire is a two-edged sword. I remembered reading the biographies of famous men and women evangelists who traveled non-stop throughout the world, preaching the Gospel and healing the sick. Most of them died at an early age from sheer exhaustion.

Those who are called to ministry are called to a life of sacrifice. I never saw it more clearly than when I was involved in the school of ministry. Just before I reached the decision of leaving, I was starting to experience a little of that "rock star" phenomenon where people would seek me for prayer and words of encouragement. It can be very draining. It also can lead one to assume that people are coming to them for their own spiritual gifts and not give glory to God. Truly, we are channels of His grace. If there is any good that comes from us, it is only by His hand that it is given.

I left the school and moved back home at the end of 2000. I met my husband in 2001 and married him months later. I had no desire to return to ministry. In fact, I think it's safe to say I was burned-out so thoroughly that church attendance, which before had been vital to my life, was avoided. From 2001 - mid-2007, I stayed at home on most Sundays. I tried to visit several churches, but felt restless in each one. I tried visiting the non-denominational churches but had no interest in getting on that hectic roller-coaster ministry ride again.

After my mother passed away in 2007 -- astonishingly, I discovered I was able to sit through Mass and feel peace and restoration, not anxiety. It was a surprise that still fills me with joy even to this day. I know I've been abundantly blessed and God has extended an enormous amount of grace to me. Words will never be able to describe my gratitude.

To end this little story, I would like to return to the priesthood, and how some women feel as though they've been left out of such an influential position. I think many of us know that if women became priests, many would not be satisfied. Next would be the pursuit of becoming a bishop, then an archbishop, and then, a cardinal. Finally, we would witness the demand and pressure that the College of Cardinals would elect a woman as Pope. I pray we never see such a thing.

If women could take a peek within the life of a priest (or a bishop, archbishop, or cardinal), they would quickly see that it is not a life of glory. It is a life of long hours, constant demands, emotionally needy people grasping for you, angry people upset with you, worries and concerns that you may not be meeting the needs of your flock, hidden guilt that you're not doing enough, nights spent in prayer asking God for the grace to love the unlovable and forgive the cruel, carefully dancing in the political arena as some plot your downfall and others appear to be trusted friends while stabbing you in the back.

And the loneliness... Serving daily while not having a spouse at home who can encourage you or fix you a nice, hot meal. These are the number of sacrifices a priest makes and there are many more. But most priests will say they can't imagine it being any different. They couldn't imagine trying to be a spouse or being happy in a secular job. Praise be to God for calling these men into His service! There is sacrifice, yes, but there is also unspeakable joy in doing the will of our heavenly Father. This is the place we all must find, that place where we seek God's will in our lives. When we find it, we find peace.

So when I look at the women clamoring to be ordained as priests, I do not see women who are filled with peace. I see women who are caught up in what used to bind me -- the desire for recognition and validation. But even if they ever receive a "badge," it will never be enough. As long as we seek power and the admiration of man, we will always be unsatisfied. Only by giving up everything, including our own dreams, will we find His peace.

And sometimes, when you do get the dream, you just might find it isn't all that you'd thought it would be.

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church (Part 2) #Catholic

(Continued from Part 1 here.)

As one of the female students in my ministry class, I sought opportunities to minister to others and serve in the church. Our class also had the privilege of receiving ministry from well-known spiritual teachers and pastors. I would secretly be filled with happiness when one of them would give me a "word of knowledge" about my future ministry or tell me that I had strong spiritual gifts. Each time I would think that "someday," others would see this, too. Spiritual pride can creep upon us without a whisper. Oftentimes we believe we are seeking God's will. Instead, what we're often seeking is our own sense of importance. This was true for me.

I mentioned that these traveling teachers and pastors were seen as "spiritual rock stars." I wish I was kidding. Some would insist on being housed in a fine hotel. Others would treat our ministry staff as personal servants. I was starting to see the ugly side of ministry and was both shocked and disillusioned. Was this what I desired?

I will never forget a married couple who made their mark upon me with their considerate and kind ways. The ministry hosted several large conferences throughout the year. Those who were employed by the ministry basically worked their tails off to pull off a spectacular event. Much of this work included the "hospitality room" for the special speakers.

This area was usually a well-guarded room within a hotel where the speakers could rest and pray before speaking before the crowds. At one conference, it was an actual stand-alone cottage. My boss, the administrative pastor of the church, asked if I would volunteer to work within the cozy retreat to help prepare food and drink. But only on one condition.

"Mary Rose, you need to abide by this one rule. Do not talk to the speakers. If they ask you something, of course answer and make sure they have plenty of food and beverage. But you are not to ask them for anything, or talk to them, or ask for prayer." He solemnly stared at me to drive home the point.

My eyes grew large. "Of course! I'll do whatever is needed," I said as I smiled.

But inside I felt another sense of disappointment and confusion. Was this what Jesus had meant when He told His apostles to go and teach all nations to observe all He had taught them? Where was the love? The humility? Or was I being naive?

It was at the cottage when I came across the married couple; whose easy-going personalities were like a draught of clear, cool water on a hot summer's day. Not only did they talk to me, they asked me questions and treated me with kindness and respect. I quickly considered them friends, but still realized that I was "just a staff person" and certainly didn't equate myself with these globe-trotting ministers. But what astounded me was they never gave me the impression that this was how they viewed themselves. We did become friends and I stayed with them on several occasions while I was involved with the ministry. They were and still are an amazing, God-loving and God-serving couple.

It took some time, but I was finally witnessing the veneer coming off the "spiritual rock star" world. Yes, many of them were good teachers. But most of them knew how to work the emotions of a crowd. Some indeed had prophetic spiritual gifting, boldly telling a stranger in front of conference attendees the desires of their heart. But behind closed doors, most were worn out and wary of anyone approaching them. Many who attended these conferences had emotional needs that could not be met by one session of teaching. But they pursued these teachers, believing that somehow, any notice from them would give them the seal of approval they desperately wanted.

There are many reasons why people crave approval. Within a ministry, it is unavoidable that such people will seek out anyone they think has a "silver bullet" for whatever ails them. Some of these people I considered "black holes." No matter how much attention and encouragement was given to them, they needed more, and more, and more. This was why many of those "spiritual rock stars" were so wary and often distanced themselves from others. It was a question of spiritual survival. Without retreating, as Jesus often did to be with His Father, a minister could quickly become burned-out.

I watched and observed these leaders, and wondered if the same was in store for me? Was this what I really wanted? More importantly, was it what God wanted for me? All I knew was that from those experiences, I was driven to a deeper prayer life as I asked God these questions and more.

To be continued...

Why I Discarded My Ordination as a Woman in the Non-Denominational Church #Catholic

In light of the wonderful news from Saturday, where three Anglican bishops were ordained as Roman Catholic priests, there was the backdrop of two unhappy women staging a "protest" and demanding women to be ordained as priests. From the blog Mulier Fortis, she shares a collection of other articles and posts that reflected upon the event, and then added a photo from Facebook that showed two women holding up a banner that demands women to be ordained as priests.

A U.K. writer, Peter Stanford, shared his observations in his piece History Overturned as Anglican Bishops Are Ordained as Catholic Priests. There are a few points I disagree with, namely the old canard that the Catholic Church is somehow "anti-woman" and that this momentous occasion of Anglicans leaving for the Catholic Church is a negative thing.

From Stanford's article:

Instead, it was hard to avoid concluding that what this ceremony really signalled was an end to the search for the compromises that would reunite two distinctive churches, and its replacement by Rome's scheme to gather up so many Anglican converts that the Church of England simply withers on the vine. A takeover, not a merger.

When the Church of England decided to allow women and homosexuals to become priests, they were the one who ended any compromise that would reunite two distinctive churches. The Catholic Church has explained many times why it is impossible for women to be ordained as priests. But the Church of England didn't pay attention. So now they've reached a point of no return and some want to blame the Catholic Church over it? All these Anglicans who converted did was emphasize orthodox Christianity, not bending to the world's standards but upholding God's. As a famous person quipped, "If there is distance between you and God, guess who moved?"

Stanford also touches upon the debate about women being ordained:

It is the Vatican's negative attitude to women's ministry that formed the backdrop to the whole affair. The three recruits oppose the Church of England's plans to appoint female bishops and regard the Catholic priesthood as a safe, female-free haven.

I wrote a comment on Fr. Z's blog:

I'm coming with a different perspective regarding the ordination of women (And may just write my own post about it.). The ordination of women has become politicized as the feminist movement systematically infiltrated Protestant and non-denominational churches over the past 40 years. Since my return to the Catholic Church in 2008, I have continued to hear the same complaint: The Roman Catholic Church treats women as "second-class citizens." What amazing ignorance such accusations expose!

For one, we have our Blessed Mother, Mary -- Mother of God; who I may add, has been elevated and reverenced in the Church in a multitude of ways. If I could have a word with those women who are so unhappy with the Church, I'd ask them to please consider Our Lady, and dare them to follow her ways. She led her life in complete obedience to God and had humility, love, and compassion -- not to mention a boatload of wisdom. She has influenced everyone from popes and kings to small children. If what these women are seeking is recognition and influence, I can think of no better woman as a role model than the BVM.

And secondly, we have in the Church three women Doctors of the Faith (out of 33). And those women lived centuries before feminism reared its self-centered big head! St. Catherine of Sienna (1347-80), St. Teresa of Avila (1515-82), and St. Theresa of Lisieux (1873-97). Those saints are my role models, not Gloria Steinem.

I was ordained within my non-denominational church but over the years, I believe the Lord has shown me some (ugly) truths about the pursuit of power; and I realize we all know that this is what it's about. Power. However, what priest do you know who has that as his motivation to serve? None I can think of. To answer the call to the priesthood is to surrender to a life of sacrifice. It is a life of serving. Try explaining that to these thick-headed women. I suspect all one would receive is a blank stare.

When I think of my Catholic schooling, I think of the nuns. Granted, at the time they were being over-run by feminist ideology, but still, they were there. Some had surrendered themselves to the political tumult of the day but a few had not. Those women influenced me. I did not look upon them at the time as either "having power" or not. They were in my life and that was powerful enough. Too many women underestimate the influence they wield in the lives of others and those who continue to bang the drum for women's ordination are unfortunately blind to that fact.

They mistakenly believe that the only way a woman can make a difference is if she has a badge on her chest so everyone will notice. How wrong they are. Women make a difference every day within their parish by showing concern for someone in need, praying for them, making a meal. As Christians, we are all called to give to others, to show love and compassion, to pray, to speak kindly to one another, to love our neighbors as ourselves - all without looking for recognition. This is what exasperates me when I see women clamoring for ordination. Seeking praise from men and women will not satisfy. And whatever is achieved will never be enough because the pursuit of power is never-ending.

I'm going to use my own experiences as an example.

In 1995, I left my hometown of Cincinnati to attend a small ministry school in another state. I was part of the very first class of a brand new school, and we were all very excited. We had come to the school from all over the country and some, from other parts of the world. It was a small class, around twenty students who ranged in age from 21-55. We were drawn to the idea of pioneering a school for prophetic ministry and believed we'd make a difference someday as we ministered wherever God led.

As I entered the second year of the program, I was hired as the church secretary. I'll be honest. I wanted to do more than make copies of a newsletter and answer the phone. But I had been encouraged by many people to "trust in the Lord and wait upon Him." If He had other plans for me, He would allow them to bloom in His timing. It was during this time that I started to read about famous women evangelists and prophetesses, desiring to preach to large crowds. I admired women who had broken through "the stained glass ceiling" to finally be respected by the men for their leadership qualities and spiritual authority. I reasoned at the time that many women had traveled to distant parts of the world to plant churches because men weren't available, so why not me? Already there were seeds of discontent sown but I was oblivious. God, obviously, had His work cut out for Him.

At our church, we'd have famous prophets and prophetesses visit. They often gave "words of knowledge" to those at the service. I always hungered for these words, viewing it as confirmation that I was spiritually unique and that God had a special plan for me. Looking back now, I can see that I was yearning for the recognition of the world. I thought that if others saw me as having a certain sense of spiritual authority, I would finally be seen as someone worthy. I might even get to hang out with the "spiritual rock stars" in the prophetic world.

Was I in for a rude awakening.

To be continued...

Noteworthy Blog: Orwell's Picnic and Her Dead-On Pieces on Feminism #Catholic

A friend of mine recommended the blog "Orwell's Picnic." I remember reading it and instantly liking the opinions of its author, Hilary Jane Margaret White. Recently, a blog post of hers was featured on Pew Sitter and I loved it. The post, "A Hateful Ideology," showcased a video where a U.K. psychologist and Men's Rights activist said, "There's no way I would regard feminism as anything but an evil in our society."

Hilary Jane may categorize her post under the title "Why I don't like women," but she is one woman I do like. And there are many others who share the same opinion: that radical feminism has brought destruction and misery in to society.

I'm a very strong, independent woman, myself. But in my early days of being drawn to feminism, I quickly sensed something wasn't completely right. I didn't want to see men as the "enemy" but simply wanted my talents and expertise compensated fairly. I also am not the kind of personality that welcomed a full tank of anger and as I started to visit feminist events, I saw first-hand several patterns: women were either angry, frustrated, or depressed. None of these traits were attractive to me. Years later, as I've watched feminists gain more and more "rights" (sometimes at the expense of men's rights), I thought I'd finally see some satisfaction from their ranks. Not a chance.

Instead, it seems that many of these women are caught in a relentless wheel of dissatisfaction and that any victory they achieve is only celebrated for moments before cranking out more demands to be seen as equal. Equality, in my eyes, has been reached. Discrimination is not nearly as much of a problem as it was, say, in the sixties. I am grateful for this but yet am amazed that many of these radical feminists cannot rest and enjoy what has happened. Instead there is this joyless trudging through life as though a battle-ready existence is much more preferable to relishing peace-time.

Women do have the ability to influence society for the good. (Instead of embracing oppressive philosophies such as socialism.) But more women who reject feminism need to start becoming involved by sharing their views with their own families, friends, and within their churches. I continue to think of our Blessed Mother when I think of feminism. She was truly feminine, not weak at all but full of God's grace, bestowed upon her through humility. She didn't insist on her own way but instead surrendered to God everything. She trusted Him above all things and was used as His instrument in bringing salvation to the world. There are so many lessons women can learn from her that can enrich our lives.

Hilary Jane has more posts under the category "why I don't like women" but I fully understand her reasoning. Over the past sixty years in the U.S., there has been a systematic attack on the traditional family, in which women played a core role. Once you get a woman confused and dissatisfied, the structure of the family unit is weakened. It is, in my mind, evil -- and straight from the pit of hell. The devil sought to destroy the birth of Jesus and it has been the same ever since. The devil seeks death and destruction. Feminism is his tool.

If you find yourself in agreement, I heartily recommend visiting Orwell's Picnic. Hilary Jane has some very interesting thoughts on the topic.

Why I Love My Gray Hair

Several things converged around the same time.

1) I bought the huge telephone-book sized Fall Vogue magazine, which I've not done for years.

2) I read a great article by Aliza Sherman who gave a fiery response to Michael Arrington of TechCrunch, pontificating about why there weren't more women in tech start-ups. (And I loved her comment about women who have gray hair are often passed over for jobs let alone venture capitalists.)

3) While flipping through the pages of Vogue, I wondered what happened to one of the more interesting supermodels of the 90's, Kristen McManamy.

4) I discovered that Kristen, now 46 years old, had decided to no longer color her hair and allowed it's silver magnificence to wreak havoc upon the fashion world. I was smitten.

I had a conversation with Aliza via Twitter. She admitted she loved my gray hair but had trouble thinking she could go through with it. I've received this response many times from women. Strangers will greet me at a store, for instance, and say, "Oh, my gosh.. I just love your hair!" Meanwhile, I can tell they're still coloring theirs. I thank them and say with a smile, "I'm not sure if you considered it, but if you do it -- believe me, you'll be spoiled!" They usually laugh and say "Maybe someday..."

Yes, we live in a culture that idolizes youth. And people like Oprah don't help matters when they say, "The quickest way a woman can look younger is by coloring her hair." Oh, yeah? Well I've seen plenty of women who color their hair but the color is all wrong for them. Or they color their hair too dark and it accentuates their older features.

In fact, this is what I find so hilarious: it's a long-held beauty rule that as you age, you lighten your hair color. How wonderful it is that God gave women natural "highlighted" hair by adding silver? No need for anything "extra."

When I met my husband when I was 38 years old, I had been coloring my hair blonde for many years. In fact, I started to color my hair when I was 19. So for about twenty years, I spent quite a bit of money and time on trying to achieve that perfect color. I was platinum blonde, honeyblonde, dark blonde, reddish brown, chestnut, auburn, black (which turned out awful) and then back to a light ash blonde. So when I asked him what he thought of me letting my hair grow out the color, he was thrilled. I, on the other hand, was just plain tired of the work.

There are many reasons I love my gray hair, not the least of which is minimal upkeep. But my absolute favorite reason is that it sends a message loud and clear that I'm not stuck on "looking young" forever. I like getting older. In fact, I see each day as a day closer to getting to my true home, with my Creator, my heavenly Father. I like the joys that aging brings -- renewed appreciation of relationships, wisdom, and the delightful sense of freedom that comes with caring less what most people think.

I honestly would not trade my current life for the one I had at twenty. I loved being twenty, when I was twenty. But there was a part of me that couldn't wait to reach "middle-age" because I suspected I'd feel more confident in who God created me to be. I was right.

There are more and more women who are choosing to go gray. It's an honest choice, reflecting a woman's beautiful individuality and experiencing the joy of every stage of life. If you're a woman who's not quite sure but intrigued by the prospect of going gray, I highly recommend readingGoing Gray: What I Learned about Beauty, Sex, Work, Motherhood, Authenticity, and Everything Else That Really Matters by Anne Kraemer. It's a poignant tale of how one woman took the plunge toward letting go of certain expectations to discover her own brand of beauty.

If you do take the risk, let me know. I'm betting you will be pleasantly surprised.

The Making of a #Catholic Woman: Grace

Since I've been focusing on women and the desire of some Catholic women to become priests, I thought it would be worthwhile to explore the positive and life-giving traits of Catholic women. I am just now coming into an understanding of what it means for me. As I've read and observed the Catholic Church for two years, I've been touched on more than one occasion by Catholic women.

In June 2008, I wrote an entry entitled "What I Love About Catholicism: Catholic Women." Unbeknownst to me, it was featured for a few days on Pew Sitter. (Which is an excellent site, by the way. A great way to keep updated with Catholic news.) When I returned to the Church, the women stood in stark contrast to those I had previously known over the years within non-denominational churches. I especially saw distinctions with women who attended the Traditional Latin Mass. Part of why I prefer the TLM, is because of the women.

Catholic women overall are gracious. This may seem a small thing but it isn't to me. Let's look at that word, gracious. It's from the Latin word, gratiosus, which means enjoying favor, agreeable, from gratia - grace. I now believe that this is because Catholic women have a role model: The Blessed Virgin Mary. "Hail Mary, full of grace..." Grace is a gift from God and Mary was chock-full of God's gift.

I'll never forget a funny incident that happened to me when I was attending the Vineyard Christian Fellowship. I had befriended a woman, attracted to her because I could tell she had some spiritual maturity and prophetic gifting. As we were talking, she said "There is a certain grace about you." When I thanked her, she immediately snapped, "Don't say 'thank you.' It doesn't come from you. It is something that has been given you by God." I sat astounded, not just because few people are so blunt, but because instantly I knew she was right. Grace is not something we can manufacture. It isn't something we can "work toward" as though we're trying to diet and get in shape. It's not something we can put on our task list and after bite-size attempts to complete it, it's done.

Could it be that I had this grace given to me by my Catholic heritage? Could it be that even though at that time I had rejected the Catholic Church, there was still a small deposit of grace that stayed with me? Maybe.

When a woman walks in grace, the world notices.

It's not "worldly" though, to walk in grace. The world admires a woman who is "empowered." A woman who takes what she feels has been denied to her. And while I'm here, I'll reiterate a point I've made before about the schizophrenic personality of leftists: Why some feminists have gravitated toward converting to Islam is beyond my understanding. Supposedly, these women consider themselves intellectual, enlightened, and (the old standby) empowered. When I saw the video I saw below, I was amazed.

Watch this video and then think about the word, "gracious." Think about the meaning of the word: marked by kindness and courtesy, graceful, marked by tact and delicacy, characterized by charm, good taste, generosity of spirit, and good breeding. (Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary) This video features one of my absolutely favorite people, David Horowitz. Horowitz was raised by communist parents and became one himself. Then he had a revelation, renounced it, and runs a conservative site Front Page Magazine that focuses on exposing communist, marxist, and radical islamofascist attacks on Western civilization.

It is evident that this woman is not a recent immigrant from some Muslim country. And from her condescending tone of voice, I'd say she is a hard-core feminist. How someone like her can align herself with a political system that kills women for things such as not being sufficiently covered by their clothing or talking to a man who is not related to her -- is beyond me.

Was there any graciousness to this woman? Any wisdom? I'm sure many would say she was smart but that's not the same thing as wisdom. She comes across as arrogant, elite, and chillingly hateful and evil as she finally admits that she supports Hamas, a terrorist organization dedicated to killing Jews.

There is no life in the world. The world is in darkness. When a woman walks in grace, she is a vessel of life and power, which comes from God. Only He can pour His grace upon us. When it is poured on a woman, there is beauty, love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and restraint. These are the traits that men of old fought for to earn such a woman's love, and still do today. These are the traits that have brought life and light to the world. And these are the traits of our Blessed Mother Mary and are available to all women, if they humble themselves before God as she did.

Today I read of an amazing group of nuns who are on the path toward sainthood. During World War II, these brave nuns harbored more than 60 refugee Jews in the heart of Rome. Read the article, which features Piero Piperno, who was a teenager when he sought refuge with the Bridgettines, speaking about Mother Riccarda. The 80-year-old is now one of the only people who was old enough at the time of the war to recall what happened. He recounted those harrowing days of avoiding discovery from the Nazi soldiers. She "was dubbed "mammina" (little mother) by the refugees. "[Mother Riccarda] was all sweetness and sympathy," he recalled. "She was always around, and everybody went to her when they had any kind of problem. She was very comforting."

Grace comforts. Grace brings hope. Grace is what Catholic women have and many don't even know it.

When I was in the non-denominational churches, some women had an understanding of grace. But there never seemed to be bible studies on Mary. It seemed as though studies on the traits of a godly woman would focus on Esther or Mary and her sister Martha. It was as though non-denominational (Protestant) churches deliberated avoided examining Mary. And yet it was she who was chosen to bear God's son because she was already "full of grace."

I think this is going to be an interesting study for me, personally. Since my return, I've cautiously approached Mary. I'm not used to thinking of her and balk at the title "co-redemptrix." (Which I still do because Jesus alone was the mediator between God and man, paying the price for mankind's sin by dying on the cross.) But I'm open to viewing Mary with new eyes. For instance, I read Dr. Scott Hahn's book about her and realized I never thought of her as being the new "Ark of the Covenant." Because I love the Old Testament so much, I immediately got it. The Ark was holy because it was built to contain holiness. And so it is with Mary. She is holy because she contained that which was the most holy and sacred -- Jesus Christ. You don't treat holy objects, or holy people the same way you treat the ordinary. Mary was and is, holy.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. What helps you become a woman full of grace? As a man, what positive traits do you see in Catholic women? As Catholic women, we have the greatest role model ever -- a young Jewish girl named Mary who was called to lay down her own life to be a mother to the world's Messiah. We are so very, very blessed.

Ignorant Women March Topless, 'Enraged' When Men Ogle #tcot #sgp

This has to be one of the more stupidest stories I've read for awhile. A group of Portland women marched topless to protest society's "double standard" when it comes to partial nudity. Seems they're ticked off that men can run around topless without fanfare but everyone makes a big deal when women do the same.

Honestly. Sometimes I wonder how women can be so dense.

I almost don't know where to begin with this story. There are so many erroneous presumptions that it's difficult to believe these are intelligent women protesting what obviously, eludes them. Unfortunately, in my state, we do have a statute that does not consider breasts "private parts." I discovered this in a roundabout way when I was browsing a brochure of an annual festival. This festival (which I have not attended nor would I), had a portion of the first page devoted to alerting festival-goers to "chill out" because "they were 'just boobs.'" I was appalled. The notice continued by saying that it was legal for women to be topless and to please not stare or make lewd comments to women when they were partially nude. Gosh. Who would ever think men would do something like that?

Here's the problem I have with it. First, it isn't an issue of a woman being afforded the same "freedom" as a man. Topless men are not objectified in American culture and if a small group of dense women think they can suddenly change society's perspective on this - after all of the "skin" magazines, the pornography, the rated R movies, the "girlie bars" with topless waitresses, etc., etc. - then they deserve all the ridicule they get.

Secondly, like it or not, these parts of a woman's body have been designed for two purposes: 1) as a way to prepare a woman for sexual intercourse and 2) as a channel to bring life and nourishment to a newborn baby. Sorry if this is too graphic or bold for the topless women, but there you have it. Despite all of the teasing that occurs in the media regarding "moobies" or male breasts, the sexual and primal connotation will never, ever be given to them.

In fact, if anything, the breasts of a man versus the breasts of a woman are prime examples of how women and men indeed are different from each other. I know this is difficult for the topless women crowd to understand because they consistently try to to pound a square peg into a round hole. It isn't the same nor will it ever be. Men can go topless and people usually don't care. (Unless you're being served food from him in which case, ew. Who wants a man's half-nude, hairy torso hanging over a plate of linguini?) But a topless woman has and always will elicit quite a different reaction.

I am sure there are plenty of men who understand perfectly well what I'm saying. And many men are all too willing to say, "Sure, why not? Go for the partial nudity!" But as a woman who knows that God has called the female gender to be so much more, and so much more dignified, I am protesting myself at this ridiculous inverse objectification of women. The fact that such public demonstrations are led by women make it all the more pathetic.

Here is their convoluted logic - and I have to admit I enjoy pointing it out:

1. Women who work within the "skin industry" (exotic dancing, pornography) are "oppressed and objectified by men." This is bad.
2. Women who decide to trot down a street and take off their tops are liberated. And woe to the man who oogles them. This is good.

So these women believe that just because it's their choice, that men should not react the way normal men react? Oy,veh.

Many of the women engaged in this craziness are lesbians, in which case they couldn't care less what a man thinks. But it does make me wonder. On one hand, these types don't want to used by men. But yet think nothing of cheapening their own worth by exposing themselves.

I suppose some will do anything for a little bit of attention. And in the end, that's the message I get from these stunts. A desperate cry for attention and validation. Very, very sad.

Fear and Loathing In Bimboland: Tiger Woods' Harem #tcot #sgp #Catholic

When I was in my mid-twenties, I was working at a temp job in a local beer company that was on its way toward closing. One of the guys who worked in production was funny and adorable. He was also married. He would flirt with me constantly and I would happily flirt back. Then my assignment ended and we agreed to meet for a drink after work. Even as I drove to the bar, I thought, What am I doing? Is this a danger zone or what? Luckily, he never showed up. I remember driving away thanking God profusely for giving me a break in spite of my blockheadedness.

That was the first near-collision with a married man. There were others. "Scotty" (not his real name) was another married man who half-pleaded with me at a company outing to be open to having a relationship. He insisted that his marriage with his wife was more like "brother and sister" and if I didn't say yes, someone else would. He had children with her. Appalled, I firmly told him he needed to talk things over with his wife, get counseling if needed, and if not - it would definitely be someone else because I didn't fool around with married men.

"Sean" was the toughest. When I worked at an insurance brokerage firm, Sean would visit frequently, wooing me with his dark Irish good looks and alluring Irish accent. He was also married. His co-worker, who often accompanied Sean on these visits, tantalized me with these words, "Sean is quite fond of you, you know..." I was very, very glad when work-related developments took him elsewhere.

Finally, there was "Mike," the cop. My girlfriend was a city police officer at the time and we would usually hit the downtown popular bars and dance spots on the weekends. Although she was off duty, she would immediately chat up the many police officers who would patrol the area, either driving slowly in their police cruisers or walking the beat. Mike was one of the regulars on patrol. My girlfriend told me how he thought I was cute and wanted to get to know me better, but admitted he was married.

"Married? Ack! Why on earth would I want to be with him?" I was both shocked and annoyed that my friend thought this was okay.

"He's a nice guy. Besides, you're not dating anyone else, I mean, he's somebody..." She trailed off, thinking that was all the justification I needed.

I told her under no circumstances would I be fooling around with a married guy. And didn't. Although tempted many times, I never went through with doing anything with a married man. There were several reasons for this. First, it's a well-known fact that when you're "The Other Woman," you will never have the full attention of your guy. Secrecy is paramount. No showing up at public events canoodling with each other. No romantic, intimate dinners in local restaurants. It's always about keeping the secret.

Second, I have a true-believer solidarity with women. Although I'm not a feminist (I prefer to define myself as "pro-woman"), I have a deep kinship with other women and could only imagine how I'd feel if as a married woman, found out another woman was sleeping with my husband. In fact, if faced with such a scenario, I'd probably go after the woman first.

When I think of my responses to each of those circumstances; and then think of what women did when offered the opportunity to sleep with Tiger Woods, I wonder why I chose to do one thing and they, another. What is it that persuades a woman sleep with a married man?

Hence, the "fear and loathing." My girlfriend nailed it when she pointed out that because I was single and with no romantic prospects, being with a married man would be better than being alone. Many women fear being alone. One of the strongest status symbols in our culture (and many cultures) is to be involved in a romantic relationship and most women will do whatever it takes to have it. This includes putting up with jerks, abusers, weirdos, and all manner of ill-matched men. It also is why bookstores will never run out of How to Make a Man Fall In Love With You and Declare You His Goddess manuals.

The loathing part may go even deeper. My theory is that when a woman fools around with a married man, deep inside she doesn't think she's worthy of being loved fully by an unmarried man. This could also be part of the mix when women stay in abusive relationships. It's an interesting twist that some women who fool with married men turn the tables on their accusers and say, "You're just jealous," as the porn star Joslyn James claims. (Scarlet Woman #10)

The reason this sordid tale of Woods cheating on his wife got my attention is because it reminded me once again about the truth and sustainability of God's purpose for women. When I was eleven-years-old, I asked my parents for a Bible that I could understand as part of my Christmas gifts. In fact, it was a Bible and small TV, to be specific. (Interesting combo, no?) I received both and was thrilled to have "my own" Bible. It was the Catholic English version, "The Way." One of the first passages I read that I felt was given to me by the Holy Spirit was this:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear. (1 Pet. 3:3-6 NIV)

From that point onward, I was determined to cultivate the kind of beauty that pleased God. I'm certainly not claiming to have achieved it, but I realize that this proved to be a pivotal point in my life, setting my internal compass of principle toward the kingdom of God. I don't think anyone would say cheating is okay, no matter how much it looks like "true love." I personally boycotted the movie "The Bridges of Madison County" because it showed a married woman having an affair with a man while her husband and kids were away. What was worse (in my eyes) was how the audience was swayed toward desiring that the woman abandon her family so she could embrace her "true love," the wandering photographer. I hate having my emotions manipulated by movies, especially when they trash my values. Most of my co-workers thought I was being too harsh. I didn't care. If you fall asleep at the wheel, don't be surprised when you crash.

It saddens me that so many in our society have abdicated their roles as honorable, self-assured women who would as soon sleep with a married man as they would throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. Because in essence, that's what has happened. When you become a citizen of Bimboland, you might as well paint a big "L" on your forehead for "Loser." Bimbos lose respect, lose friends, lose trust, and frequently lose themselves. It's a huge lie to think "this isn't hurting anyone." Everyone gets hurt when someone cheats - the wronged spouse, the cheater who doesn't want to admit there's a problem, and "the other woman" who is lying to herself that it's acceptable.

When you think of what God calls women to be (and there is so much), the perfection of it becomes more and more evident. Women are the keepers of civility in our society. When they live according to God's purpose for them, they hold others accountable for loutish, selfish behavior - whether it's their children or their men. They are the soft places to land, the compassionate, the generous watchers who notice when someone is feeling excluded or unloved. We as women have a high calling upon our lives and relinquishing it for a few minutes of cheap, phony intimacy is not a good trade. Not only do we deserve better, we're capable of better.

If I could wish for anything in the soap opera world of Tiger Woods, I would first wish for all the women who fooled around with him to repent, go to confession, and then start to go to church on a regular basis and read the Bible. I wish wholeness and healing for them. But if one is blind, they usually continue to stumble in the darkness, making the same mistakes again. For Tiger, I hope this is his "bottom." It would be good to know he's been given a huge wake-up call and has an opportunity to straighten himself out. I doubt his wife will continue the journey with him but he can make the choice to change. Everyone can. The question is, will they?

Vatican Apostolic Visitation to Women Religious: We're Not Going Anywhere

Well. Although some women religious have not met the deadline for their response, and some have sent in incomplete responses, the Apostolic Visitation Office says they are moving ahead as planned.

Washington D.C., Dec 4, 2009 / 03:54 pm (CNA).- Responding to a report which claimed that the majority of women religious are not complying with the apostolic visitation, the Apostolic Visitation Office has said that “some congregations” have sent incomplete responses but the effort is moving ahead as planned. The National Catholic Reporter in a Nov. 24 article cited unnamed sources who claimed a significant number of religious congregations were not cooperating with the Apostolic Visitation.

The Apostolic Visitation’s assistant for communications, Sr. Kieran Foley, FSE, responded to a CNA inquiry about the reported boycott.

She said the office continues to receive responses from major superiors to the questionnaires and has not yet completed its review of these responses.

“In a spirit of confidentiality, as I am sure you will understand, we are not at liberty to disclose how many we have received or from whom,” Sr. Foley told CNA. “While some of the congregations did send incomplete answers to the questionnaire, the Apostolic Visitation will be moving ahead as planned with the phases as described on the Apostolic Visitation web site, that is, at the completion of the data collection from the questionnaires (Phase 2), we will proceed to Phase 3, conducting selected on-site visits to congregations.”

Read the article

So get your No. 2 pencils sharpened, New Age crystal-mamas. You're not getting a pass with this one.

The 'Twilight' Series: Chivalry, and Chastity #Catholic

I admit I've read the entire "Twilight" series, written by Stephenie Meyers. I've been interested in vampire stories ever since the wacky soap opera, "Dark Shadows," drew me in with its Gothic moodiness and creepy characters. My interest eventually led me to Anne Rice's vampire novels, which I later stopped reading as I realized they were just too doggone seductive.

Vampires have never been "good guys" in my eyes. There may have been unfortunate reasons for their "birth" as an immortal bloodsucker, but overall, I'd say they were nasty characters - until I read Meyer's portrayal of them and specifically, her main hero, Edward Cullen. I never expected to appreciate a fictional vampire but I found myself glad for the author's background (She's a Mormon.), which I believe found it's way upon the book's pages. It's not so much that her Mormon doctrines were included in the storyline, but rather her portrayal of relationships (they are respected) and topics like the state of one's soul, which is honestly discussed. I can only think such considerations would come from a woman of faith.

It's been awhile since I did anything with "Castitas," my videos focused on promoting chastity, especially for younger people. But reading the Twilight series has reminded me of how badly our culture needs chaste characters, and how much so many of our young people hunger for them. Obviously, they are no longer common. Turn on any sitcom and it will feature premarital sex as though it's the norm. Even Christian characters who seem to promote chastity, as the outwardly-beautiful-but-inwardly-ugly Quinn on the hit series "Glee," end up pregnant. The clear message is that no matter how hard someone promotes chastity - in the end, it's a farce, a fool's errand - because everyone knows that all teens have sex.

Those who desire chastity have an uphill battle. There are few celebrities who promote it, few educators who believe in it, and few government officials who want to include it in sex education. Those who want to preserve their virginity until they are married are typically mocked for being hopelessly out-of-touch with reality.

But now the chaste have a new, unlikely hero - a fictional vampire. Edward Cullen meets the heroine, Bella Swan and informs her that although he looks seventeen, he is actually more like 109-years-old. His polite and respectful manners are from another era, and goodness, how this makes him even more attractive. Unlike the twenty-first century teenage boy who expects to bed immediately any girl he meets - Edward uses incredible restraint to resist Bella. There are two reasons for this: First, Bella has the type of blood that seems to be the perfect match for Edward's vampiric thirst. Second, because Edward loves Bella, and because his incredible strength would kill her if he released his passion for her, he chooses to avoid any situation that would lead to intimacy.

Both choices show something that as Christians we know but rarely see reflected in entertainment - self-sacrifice. In this series, we have a man who truly loves a young woman enough to say no to his own desires. In fact, all throughout the story, we see Edward's character time and time again either save Bella from harm or save her from his own kind's killing instinct. Above all, he wants to keep her safe. Of course Bella, in her typical teen-angst way, doesn't see this. She only knows she loves Edward and doesn't want to be separated from him, not focusing on the truth that they already are separated by mortality.

But back to the chastity bit. I know for a fact that women yearn for chivalrous men who will put a woman's well-being above his own. Our culture has almost destroyed such men. After years of feminism and the degradation of masculinity, it is no surprise that most young men have been stripped of treating a woman with respect. And I know women have played their part in this unfortunate development. With female celebrities who dress like hookers and talk like salty sailors, it's no wonder they're mistreated, either by the press or their boyfriends.

I like how this article in The Catholic Herald, "Why Girls Love Chaste Edward Cullen," pinpoints one of the most persistent memes in teen-hood and eventually adulthood: the attraction women have for the "bad boy." I am thrilled to see this assumption finally get challenged. Years ago, when I taught workshops for single women over 40 who wanted to find love, I remembered a middle-aged woman saying, "I'm attracted to the "bad boys." I can't help it, though, they are just so sexy!" I responded by saying that getting a broken heart or feeling used isn't really sexy. I said it then and will emphasize it now - women get what they allow. No one deserves to be mistreated, but if a woman allows anyone to mistreat her, that's what she'll get.

If my male readers will forgive me, I pose the following theory: when women start to respect themselves, men will respond accordingly. When women carry themselves with the dignity and wisdom that God intended for them to have, they may be surprised to find that it awakens within a man an innate desire to win her affections. Long ago, chivalry included a man fighting for the affections of his beloved. Thankfully, it isn't extinct and in fact, may be experiencing a resurgence. Many women are realizing that treating men as contemptible objects and then expecting them to cater to their every whim isn't exactly going swimmingly well. Radical feminism's extreme hatred and revulsion of men has left many women lonely and excluded. "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman." (Prov. 21:9) How true.

Edward Cullen has brought the ideals of chivalry and chastity to a new generation and it couldn't have come at a better time. As older women teach the younger, they can include a modern version (if slightly unusual) of a man who loved a woman enough to say no - to both himself and her, so that she would be saved. And it wouldn't be a bad idea for young men to study some of the attributes of Edward. Selfless devotion hasn't had such an advocate for quite some time.

Women Religious Tell Vatican To Pound Sand: They're "Breaking the cycle of violence" #Catholic

This entire article is simply breathtaking in its arrogance and level of outright rebellion. Below are snippets from the article and my comments in red. From the National Catholic Reporter:

Women Religious Not Complying With Vatican Study

"There's been almost universal resistance, we are saying 'enough'"

The vast majority of U.S. women religious are not complying with a Vatican request to answer questions in a document of inquiry that is part of a three-year study of the congregations. Leaders of congregations, instead, are leaving questions unanswered or sending in letters or copies of their communities' constitutions.

"There's been almost universal resistance," said one women religious familiar with the responses compiled by the congregation leaders. "We are saying 'enough!' In my 40 years in religious life I have never seen such unanimity.

Many women, instead of filling out the forms, replied by sending in copies of their Vatican -approved orders' religious constitutions. A religious order's constitution states its rationale, purpose and mission. (Because after all, that's what the Vatican needs as the yardstick of measurement. Forget about Catholic identity - these women religious constitutions trump everything, such as loyalty to the Magisterium or the the Catechism of the Catholic Church.)

The Vatican initiated the study in January, saying its purpose is to determine the quality of life in religious communities, given the decline in vocations in recent decades. From the outset, the women have complained they were never consulted before Vatican officials announced the investigation and there is no transparency in the process. Some have called the effort demeaning and intrusive. (And I'm sure if they were consulted, they would have responded with kindness and full cooperation. I suppose somewhere along the way to their "communities," they forgot that they were accountable to a higher authority. And besides, if individual women religious communities were contacted while others weren't, we would have been hearing the high screech of outrage from those who were targeted. It's obviously a better choice to do an 'across-the-board' evaluation of all women religious. Nothing like fairness!)

By contrast, according to the source, congregations representing, by far, the greater majority of women religious decided not to comply and answered only a few, or none, of the questions. Many of the 340 U.S. apostolic congregation heads instead sent letters to Millea stating that what they were sending was what the Vatican was looking for. (Um. No. The Vatican is looking for answers to their questions. All the questions. Otherwise, they wouldn't have asked.)

"Cover letters [to Millea] have been respectful and kind," one woman, familiar with the responses, told NCR. "Many of the letters have essentially said that what we have to say about ourselves has already been said in our religious constitutions." (Back to their constitutions. Get the feeling that they have some issues with the Magisterium?)

The Vatican questionnaire is divided into three parts. Part A attempts to collect quantifiable information about such things as membership, numbers, living arrangements, health, and retirement conditions. Part B and Part C (bottom of Part B) aim to gather detailed information about community governance practices, vocation efforts, spiritual and liturgical practices, ministry and finances. (An interesting side note: The Vatican withdrew several questions from Part C that asked for individual ages of the women, assets belonging to the congregation and recent financial statements. In light of this situation, I think that's not a good idea. [mantilla nod to Cathy of Alex and Vincenzo] Now, looking at Part B, I'm wondering if they're constitutions fully cover the areas of vocation efforts, and spiritual and liturgical practices. Somehow, I doubt it.)

Several women religious said that, in discerning their responses to the questionnaire which they felt were intrusive, there emerged a new sense of identity and resolve. One said that for years women religious have focused on the needs of others. This time they had to focus on themselves. (Let me see - the Vatican asks questions, which if one were faithful to the Magisterium, should prove to be no problem, why would you feel those questions are intrusive?)

She said women religious have been virtually unanimous in spirit that they have been living out their missions, as directed by the gospels and by the Second Vatican Council, which called upon religious communities to go out in the world to work among the poor and to build more just and peaceful structures. (Whew. This is where I have to start to put duct-tape over my head to keep it from exploding. "Build more just and peaceful structures" raises several questions: 1) Is not the Vatican a 'just and peaceful structure?' 2) Did Vatican II specifically issue a mandate for the Roman Catholic Church to go out and build new structures? and 3) Who has defined what a 'just and peaceful structure' is to be? The Vatican? Marxism? Hinduism? Marianne Williamson?)

She explained that in the process church prelates lost the control over women religious congregations they once had. She said many women religious believe the investigation is part of an effort to regain that control. (Alright. This is just getting downright funny. "Lost control?" Let me see if I can explain it in their terms. You have a commune. Everyone shares everything. Then there's a small group of people who want to move away to Gary, Indiana because they feel "called" to serve there. The commune sends them there with their blessing, expecting to still maintain a relationship. Team Gary-Indy group takes the commune manifesto with them, promising to stay true to it. Years go by. Suddenly, the commune realizes that Team Gary-Indy has gone off the deep end and became a training ground for clown terrorists. They are concerned. They send out an investigative team who promptly gets pummeled by water balloons. Is it an issue of "lost control" or rather, staying true to the commune's manifesto, which is the identifying image to the rest of the world? You make the call.)

"Vatican II took us out of the ghettos and into ecology, feminism and justice in the world," she said. "The Vatican still has a difficult time accepting that." (I think the Vatican has a difficult time accepting that women religious have become Marxists. Social justice, class and gender warfare, and now the "new kid on the block," ecology - are all tools of Marxism to change our society, which is founded upon free choice. It's also important to note that Marxism also slams religious institutions and that Marxism is an atheist view of human liberation, which sounds more and more like what these women religious want.)

Some of the women interviewed by NCR cite an irony involved in the investigation. One said that it is "unlikely the Vatican wanted us to come out of this being more confident of our identity as self-defining religious agents, but that is exactly what has happened."

Another said: "At first, many women were asking, 'How do we respond? Then we were asking, 'How do we respond faithfully in keeping with our identity?' And soon we were asking, 'What is that identity?' " (Notice that no one is talking about Catholic identity?)

Several women said canon lawyers told the women they were not required to answer all the questions. Religious, unlike bishops, priests and deacons, who make up the clergy, are not officially part of the church's hierarchical structure. According to this reasoning, women religious are responsible to their congregation leadership and to their constitutions. (Okay. I admit this is an area that I do not understand. If women religious are not officially part of the church's hierarchical structure, what is the justification for jurisdiction over them? The Vatican must have some level of jurisdiction, otherwise they couldn't conduct the investigation. Somehow, though, I'm suspecting the Vatican has more authority over them than they want to admit.)

NCR contacted several canon lawyers consulted by women religious communities. These canon lawyers declined to be interviewed for this story. (Gee. A lawyer who doesn't want to talk to the press. Who'd have thunk it?)

All along, said one woman religious, the challenge has been to respond to the Vatican in a way that breaks a cycle of violence. (Are you kidding me? Violence?!) She said that the women religious communities have attempted to respond by using a language "devoid of the violence" they found in the Vatican questionnaire and within the wider study. She characterized the congregation responses as "creative and affirming," and part of an effort to set a positive example in "nonviolent resistance." (Oh. My. Gosh. This is that awful, convoluted pseudo-intellectual-speak they teach in universities. All the Vatican is doing is asking questions. Obviously, these women don't like being asked questions, but it's a huge stretch to say that the asking is "violent." That is just crazy-talk and I refuse to accept the premise.)

"On the one hand we didn't want to roll over and play dead," she said. "So the question was, "How do you step outside a violent framework and do something new?' That was the challenge that emerged." One congregation, she said, cited a U.S. bishops' statement concerning domestic abuse in its response letter to Millea. "The point is, there have to be more than two choices: Take the abuse and offer it up, or kill the abuser." (!!!!!)

Women religious, she said, are asking if there is a "Ghandian or Martin Luther King way" to deal with violence they felt is being one to them. (Ladies, the questions aren't violent. I'm sure they're straightforward. From Part B, question 1.F. "What are your hopes and concerns about the future of your religious institute in living its charism in the Church?" Wow. Get out the human chain protests. That question is just over the top.)

At issue, according to several women religious, is the role women religious are to play in the world today. As much as any other element in the church, women religious claim Vatican II's documents as a call go out in the world, loved and blessed by God, and to serve within it.

During the pontificates of Pope John Paul II and Benedict the XVI the hierarchy, many church observers say, has pulled back from these directives, seeing the world as a more hostile environment. They view the church as a bastion of light and love within this world and want the women religious to work more directly from within church structures. (The world is a more hostile place. If people can't see that, they're blind. With Islamofascists wanting to kill us, labor unions wanting to destroy nationalism and dismantle capitalist societies, and radical liberalism seeking to undermine traditional values in schools, universities, and institutions - I'd say yes, we're under attack. "We" being those who love freedom and God. So if the Vatican isn't peachy with a bunch of aging hippie-women marching to the drumbeat of those hostile groups, I say rock on, Papa Ben & Company. As far as I'm concerned, these women don't deserve to be affiliated in any way whatsoever with the Catholic Church. In fact, I think kicking them to the nearest multi-culti, diversity spiritual enterprise, like say, oh - I don't know, it's a stretch but let's just say the Unitarians - would really be a great idea and save the Vatican and us a lot of time and money.)

Full Article

Well, I'm spent. I need to break for dinner but feel free to add your own thoughts. This investigation is revealing more and more how absolutely out-of-control these women are when it comes to being Catholic. I may add more thoughts later about the issue of submission, which I'm sure is a favorite topic for these types.

Vatican Visitation of Women Religious to Issue Public Report

That's good news. I know many Catholics will be curious about the discoveries. I almost wrote "conclusions" but I'm not sure that's accurate. I know there have been evaluations, perhaps more data was collected, but I suppose we'll just have to wait to see if anything has been concluded from the report and more importantly, what will be done about it.

Orders such as the Sisters of Life seem to be doing well. And more women who have a vocation are drawn to the more traditional orders.

A new study of Roman Catholic nuns and priests in the United States shows that an aging, predominantly white generation is being succeeded by a smaller group of more racially and ethnically diverse recruits who are attracted to the religious orders that practice traditional prayer rituals and wear habits.

The study found that the graying of American nuns and priests was even more pronounced than many Catholics had realized. Ninety-one percent of nuns and 75 percent of priests are 60 or older, and most of the rest are at least 50.

They are the generation defined by the Second Vatican Council, of the 1960s, which modernized the church and many of its religious orders. Many nuns gave up their habits, moved out of convents, earned higher educational degrees and went to work in the professions and in community service. The study confirms what has long been suspected: that these more modern religious orders are attracting the fewest new members.

The study was already well under way when the Vatican announced this year that it was conducting two investigations of American nuns. One, taking up many of the same questions as the new report, is an “apostolic visitation” of all women’s religious orders in the United States. The other is a doctrinal investigation of the umbrella group that represents a majority of American nuns, the Leadership Conference of Women Religious.

The new study, being released on Tuesday, was conducted by the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University, for the National Religious Vocation Conference, which is looking for ways for the church to attract and retain new nuns and priests. It was financed by an anonymous donor.

“We’ve heard anecdotally that the youngest people coming to religious life are distinctive, and they really are,” said Sister Mary Bendyna, executive director of the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate. “They’re more attracted to a traditional style of religious life, where there is community living, common prayer, having Mass together, praying the Liturgy of the Hours together. They are much more likely to say fidelity to the church is important to them. And they really are looking for communities where members wear habits.”

Of the new priests and nuns who recently joined religious orders, two-thirds chose orders that wear a habit all the time or regularly during prayer or ministry, the study found.

New Nuns and Priests Seen Opting for Tradition, New York Times
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I believe women have a tremendous amount of influence in our society. It is women who usually teach their children responsible behavior. (I know there are more "stay-at-home" dads than ever before, but I believe women are still the majority in this role.) When I was a young child, I was taught more by Catholic sisters than priests or men. I can only imagine how our society will be affected if we have more Catholic sisters who return to the traditions of the Church. It will certainly be interesting to watch. It does seem as though we're witnessing a change in the tide.