Premature Sexualisation Pushes Young Girls Toward Depression: New Study

As I was scanning the news online, I came across this (emphasis mine):

"Premature Sexualisation" Pushing Young Girls into Depression and Self-Harm: New Study
By Hilary White

July 14, 2008 (LifeSiteNews.com) - "When I was 11, I read a teenage magazine for the first time and that is when it kind of clicked, 'I should be like this'," says one young girl surveyed in a study by Girlguiding UK and the Mental Health Foundation, that has revealed three leading potential "triggers" for serious mental health problems in girls: premature sexualisation, commercialisation and alcohol misuse.

More generally, the report reveals a loss of childhood innocence and says girls today experience high levels of "stress, anxiety and unhappiness". The study found that premature sexualisation and pressure to grow up too quickly are two "key influences" in the anxiety felt by girls.

"Sexual advances from boys, pressure to wear clothes that make them look too old and magazines and websites directly targeting younger girls to lose weight or consider plastic surgery were identified as taking a particular toll," the report says.

"Premature Sexualisation" Pushing Young Girls Into Depression and Self-Harm: New Study

How sad. This is one of the many reasons why I feel so strongly about reaching out to younger women regarding chastity and self-respect.

Years ago, I felt prompted to see the movie, "Thirteen." I don't have children, but I sensed God wanted me to see a glimpse of what many younger women endure in school. It wasn't pretty.

"Thirteen" is a gritty, unpleasant movie. Chronicling the life of a young thirteen-year old girl raised by a single mother; it shows the unvarnished truth of life for many such teens. In order to be accepted or seen as "cool," one must throw themselves headlong into a life of deception, drugs and alcohol, and self-abuse. The film showed one previously innocent thirteen-year old girl being systematically corrupted by the "popular" girl - who in reality was an abandoned child.

Where were the voices in their lives? The adults who would tell them they were heading down the wrong path? A parent who closely watched who her daughter befriended? Mothers who knew what mothering really meant?

They were nowhere to be seen. One mother was a recovering alcoholic who was trying her best but falling short of connecting with her daughter. The other "wild child" didn't have a mother but was staying with a cousin who really didn't care when this thirteen-year old girl came home and even gave her a beer from time to time. How "cool."

I am thinking about this story in light of the youth attending World Youth Day in Australia. What kind of impact can these young people make in their schools and with their peers? Their influence cannot be overestimated and more than anything, we need to gird these young missionaries with prayers and novenas. They truly are in the lion's den of society but by the grace of God, they will emerge in one piece, victorious in Christ.

Pray for our sons and daughters, that they would not only know of God, but really know Him.

My War Against "Cool"

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's own people, that you may declare the wonderful deeds of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.(1 Peter 2:9 RSV)

and the NIV:

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

In light of watching Dawn Eden's interview about modesty, I thought about how many Christian women have forgotten they belong to God and in turn, allowed themselves to be led by the world. What does it mean to be "God's own people?" What does it mean to belong to Him?

If we look at the inverse, we know that if we don't belong to Him, we are in darkness. We know from this verse that the result of being called out of the darkness is a joyous declaration of praising our Heavenly Father for His goodness. This type of declaration can often be downplayed in order to be seen as "cool."

If you haven't guessed already, I'm not a big fan of cool. I may say "Cool!" or "Awesome!" to articulate my agreeable state of being at the moment, but I actually deplore the idea that we Christians should be "cool" in order to attract unbelievers to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I don't think salvation falls anywhere near the concept of "cool." In fact, salvation is so far above it that the term cannot even be seriously considered according to God's revelation.

I'll never forget my reaction when I realized the non-denominational church I was attending planned on transforming their service into a "seeker-sensitive" one. Immediately, I had questions. What did that mean? Is it even Biblical to be "sensitive" when preaching salvation to the lost? How did this approach line up with the Biblical definition of church?

When I started to understand what "seeker-sensitive" meant, I experienced a mixture of sadness, anger, and irritation. I took offense because I didn't believe it was the right path for the Christian church and I still don't.

Some Christians like to point out that since Jesus reached out to tax collectors and prostitutes, He was being "cool." They define this as being "seeker-sensitive." I could not disagree more. Jesus Christ had a life-changing message and He was bringing this message to whomever would listen. The fact that He ate a few meals with such folk doesn't mean the same thing as a church employing large-screen monitors for entertainment, a professional worship team, and a charismatic pastor who preaches from the latest pop-psychology book.

When one becomes so focused on "relating" to the world, it doesn't take long before he or she is conformed to the world; not transforming it. Some Catholics would quickly say this is what happened to the Catholic church after Vatican II.

When I was attending the non-denominational churches, I saw a great deal of worldly behavior. Young women, especially, would often wear immodest clothing. And why not? No one was challenging them to consider themselves set apart, as God's own people who have a radical calling to the world. This calling is in direct opposition to the self-centered actions of a world who does not know Christ. When I can't tell the difference between "Christian" heavy metal and the world's, I think there's a problem. Why are we so afraid to be different?

When we are so attached to what others think of us, whether they see us as being "cool" or not, our witness is severely hampered. If we are trying too hard to be heard by the world but the world is simply hearing the same message but with a different tone, will they really listen? Does the message touch them in the place God wants to touch them?

This is part of the reason why I feel so strongly about issues such as modesty. I believe that when a woman devotes her life to God through Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit, she should look different and act different. Her clothing is no longer a vehicle to get noticed or validated as being desirable. Her heart is now being clothed in quite a different way and it is reflected in her appearance.

We are called to be God's people and this brings with it a serious obligation. Will we forever be caught up in this mad pursuit to be "cool" or will we accept that others may always think of us as being just a little strange because we're so in love with our Lord?

I write such things to remind myself to pursue God at all costs. For me, this is in direct proportion to how deeply I have died to a desire for validation from the world. My Lord's opinion, truly, should outweigh the highest praise from the world. Amen and amen.

Noteworthy Modesty Clothing Site: Christa-Taylor

If anything makes me wish I was younger, it's viewing these types of sites - fashionable clothing that is attractive and modest!

I discovered a new modest clothing site, Christa-Taylor. The clothing is very cute and...dare I say it...ladylike. I'm an old-school fan of ladylike. If you watch films like "Breakfast At Tiffany's" and any Frank Capra movie, you get the idea of how women back then knew how to dress like ladies but yet still conveyed a sense of mystery and yes, sensuality. It wasn't overt, but the subtle kind of sensuality that tells everyone that this lady knows she is attractive but isn't using it like a weapon.

If you know of any young women who are trying to find modest clothing, I'd say this site is a place you'd definitely would want to visit.

Mega blessings to you, Christa!

Modesty and True Empowerment

What is empowerment? If you were to ask a feminist, they would point to legislative acts that have granted women more political rights. Others may focus on the word "power" and believe that empowerment is all about acquiring control within corporate entities.

I checked Merriam-Webster's dictionary and found this definition:

Main Entry: em·pow·er

Pronunciation: \im-ˈpau̇(-ə)r\

Function: transitive verb

Date: 1648

1 : to give official authority or legal power to [empowered her attorney to act on her behalf]
2 : enable
3 : to promote the self-actualization or influence of [women's movement has been inspiring and empowering women — Ron Hansen]

Self-actualization is to realize one's full potential. And I'm all about women influencing the world for the better.

But when I look at this topsy-turvy world of ours, where right is judged wrong and evil is praised as good - I realize that Christian women have a great opportunity to speak of true empowerment and its relationship to modesty. (Small caveat: I still have not read any books on modesty by Catholic authors, so if I repeat certain themes, forgive the redundency.)

Can a woman realize her full potential if she continues to mainly present a sexualized identity? Can society view the many facets of womanhood if she is predominately objectified in a sexual way? How is manipulating one's sexuality consistent with the path toward self-actualization? And if one is a Christian, should such manipulation even be considered?

These are some questions I think about often. Especially when I see young women dressed immodestly or older women dressed inappropriately for their age. Unfortunately, some older women have fallen into the same trap as the younger ones - flaunting their sexuality in an attempt to be seen as "young and hip." I suspect they confuse the word "classy" with "boring."

I grew up with a father who used John T. Malloy's Dress for Success as a bible for appearance. He would check my outfit before I headed out for a special event to make sure that a) it was appropriate and b) no threads were hanging and nothing was torn or stained. I attended an all-girls Catholic high school where graduating seniors were told their white long gowns better cover the arms and decollatage - otherwise be prepared to wear a nun's white sweater over it. I learned at an early age that if I wanted to be respected, I needed to show that I respected myself.

Younger women seem to be changing their tune toward immodest clothing. A recent story about the Pure Fashion Show had young girls saying how nice it was to see attractive clothes that still made them feel comfortable. I realized how often these young girls probably feel marginalized for their preference for modest clothes. Centuries ago, it was the norm to dress modestly and those who didn't were on the outside of proper society. Today, it's almost the opposite. Those who want to be taken seriously for who they are, not what they wear , must fight against the current in our culture that says immodesty is "empowering" one's sexuality.

When a woman dresses modesty, several things occur. First, she shows respect to herself. She is telling herself and the culture that she is worth more than being sexually objectified. Secondly, she is promoting civility in a world that sorely needs it. When a woman dresses immodestly, it leads to a disrespect of women. When women are disrespected, they lose their voice to make a difference in their culture. It is very difficult for a man to feel influenced by the good of a woman if she has a plunging neckline that challenges him to think of her in any other light than as a sexual partner.

I would even extend that same thought to women. There have been occasions where it's been difficult for me to take a woman seriously because she was wearing a very low-cut top. If we want to influence others and realize our full potential, I firmly believe that dressing modestly is not only preferred, but required. As more women pursue modesty, I believe the conversation will be changed. No longer will it be about who is "cool" or "hot," but who is truly making a difference in the world by first, making a difference in their own life.

Modesty for Women

Jeff Miller, at The Curt Jester, touched upon a topic that is near and dear to my heart - modesty. His tongue-in-cheek Casual Sunday reminded me of the time I addressed this issue with my last non-Catholic church.

An older woman (maybe mid-forties) came to our Friday night worship service with a very short dress. I was behind her and as she raised her hands up high, her choice of undergarments became evident.

Later, while she left to go to restroom, I followed her. I waited until she came back into the lobby area and gently confronted her. I told her she may not have been aware of what was happening (I gave her the benefit of doubt) but it was something that could be a problem for men.

At the time, I was the church secretary. After the incident, I typed up a short piece of what it meant to be a woman of modesty. My boss (the administrative pastor) loved it but it really didn't go much further than that. He did tell me that although he had brought the issue to the senior pastor, there was the thought that he didn't want the church to be a place of "do's and don'ts." Sadly, too many women seemed to be wearing a lot of "don'ts" and weren't being reminded why that may be a problem.

If anything is seriously going to be done about this issue, I believe it will need to come from other women strongly encouraging their sisters to stop being so stupid. It's one thing to wear immodest attire outside the church - but quite another to bring it in.

When I brought up this issue to some other women, I would inevitably be met with defiance masked by a lack of sensitivity to how men are wired. I would think it goes without saying that men and women are different, but yet some of these ladies thought that if a man had a problem with seeing a woman with tight jeans and a halter top, then it was his problem, not hers.

This attitude has no place within the heart of a Christian. One of the changes that occurs within a believer's life is the realization that the flesh is weak and must be crucified. Thankfully, God does not expose all of our fleshly desires all at once, otherwise we'd be overwhelmed and despondent. But God uses Scripture to remind us of our calling, which is transformation into the likeness of Christ.

Throughout the New Testament, we are exhorted to place others above ourselves, to love our enemies, and to not cause others to stumble in their faith. (Rom. 14:13) In fact, in his letter to the Romans, St. Paul focused on self-denial on behalf of others.

We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves; let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to edify him. For Christ did not please himself; but, as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached thee fell on me." (Rom. 15:1-3 RSV)

and

The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to {its} lusts. (Rom. 13:12-14 NASB)

Jesus gave very strong words to His disciples when He said this:

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matt. 5:27, 28 RSV)

Not only are women to consider how their behavior and words may affect others, they are called to godliness. Christian women have been encouraged to dress modestly and focus on her interior beauty. St. Paul instructed Timothy about the proper conduct of women in one of his letters:

Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness. (1 Tim 2:9, 10)

The Greek word used for "modestly" is aidōs. It means "modesty, bashfulness, reverence, regard for others, respect."

The "culture of death" already has instilled in many women the idea that their bodies are their own - with no consideration for the consequences of such a belief. This has also been translated into an attitude of selfishness - that my will trumps everyone else's, no matter how it may affect them.

Our local city just had a festival. I was appalled when I came across a program for the event. Right inside the cover was an ad showing two women sitting in lawn chairs, with their backs toward the camera. It was obvious both were topless. Underneath this photo was the inane admonition: It Is Up to Everyone to Maintain the Mellow. Why? Because our city has made it legal for women to be topless in public. The event coordinators wanted to remind everyone that any unwanted advances toward these women would not be tolerated. (Good grief!) I wish I was kidding.

We live in a fallen world. Women have the opportunity to be "counter-cultural" by obeying God and considering others before themselves. Dressing modestly doesn't have to be boring. Here is a great link to introduce you to some wonderful modest clothing sites: Modest Clothing Directory. Also, my new Facebook friend, Rebecca Christian, has a nice website, Modestia.

Finally, because I've been studying the topic of headcoverings, I found a great blog that discusses exactly that with regard to other orthodox religions that also practice headcovering. It is Lisa M's, Those Headcoverings, a fascinating blog that is very helpful to any woman examining the issue of the headcovering.

Just be thankful you don't have to attend confession with Padre Pio, who had this sign outside his confessional:

“By Padre Pio’s explicit wish, women must enter the confessional wearing skirts
AT LEAST 8 INCHES BELOW THE KNEE.
It is forbidden to borrow longer dresses in church and to wear them to confession.”