TV Quote of the Day (‘The Andy Griffith Show,’ on the Eternal Dilemma Facing Parents)

Sheriff Andy Taylor [played by Andy Griffith]: “You can't let a young’n decide for himself. He'll grab at the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it. Then, when he finds out there's a hook in it, it's too late. Wrong ideas come packaged with so much glitter that it's hard to convince ‘em that other things might be better in the long run. All a parent can do is say 'wait' and 'trust me' and try to keep temptation away."—The Andy Griffith Show, Season 2, Episode 6, “Opie's Hobo Friend,” original air date Nov. 13, 1961, teleplay by Harvey Bullock, directed by Bob Sweeney

There’s a reason why The Andy Griffith Show has aged so well. It’s not just because the sitcom treated its quirky characters with humor and humanity. It’s also because, in his down-home manner, Andy Griffith slipped in common sense and wisdom that viewers from all walks of life could appreciate.

Six decades ago, Andy Taylor had to contend with a homeless person showing son Opie how conniving and thieving could get what one wanted without having a job. Now, the presence of electronics (smartphones, TikTok, you name it—even penetrating a small town like Mayberry—makes it a million times more difficult for parents to “keep temptation away.”

In the early postwar period, they turned to Benjamin Spock’s Baby and Child Care as their bible for raising kids. But the pace of life these days is so rapid that revisions to these and other child-rearing manuals are obsolete as soon as they are printed.

This school year, parents will have to be extra careful to watch out for how “the first flashy thing with shiny ribbons on it” can affect their children. As a matter of fact, they will have to exercise the same vigilance towards themselves lest they fall for consumer—or political—scams.

Quote of the Day (Phyllis McGinley, on Reasoning With a Six-Year-Old)

“I call that parent rash and wild
Who’d reason with a six-year child,
Believing little twigs are bent
By calm, considered argument.

“In bandying words with progeny,
There’s no percentage I can see,
And people who, imprudent, do so,
Will wonder how their troubles grew so.”— Pulitzer Prize-winning American poet Phyllis McGinley (1905-1978), “The Velvet Hand,” in Times Three: Selected Verses From Three Decades (1961)

Quote of the Day (Diablo Cody, on Why She’s ‘Like a Sloppy Gross Raccoon’)

“I’m not a cook. I’m not a cleaner. I’m like a sloppy gross raccoon, and I have to fight against that instinct every single day of my life.”—American Oscar-winning screenwriter and playwright Diablo Cody, when asked which parenting responsibility or adult chore she wishes she could delegate, quoted in “Party Lines,” New York Magazine, Apr. 30-May 13, 2018

Quote of the Day (Mary-Louise Parker, on Fear and Bravery)

“My daughter made an amazing jump in the pool the other day. I said, ‘You're so brave.’ She said, ‘No, I was scared.’ I said, ‘That's why you're brave. If you weren't scared, you wouldn't be brave at all. You'd just be dumb.’" —Actress Mary-Louise Parker quoted in Cal Fussman, “Mary-Louise Parker: What I've Learned,” Esquire, January 2011

Joke of the Day (Nora Ephron, on Teens and Dogs)

“When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”—Screenwriter-director-essayist Nora Ephron (1941-2012), I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman (2006)

Nora Ephron died on this day five years ago in New York, the city of her birth. Although she may have seemed almost predestined for a Hollywood career as the daughter of stage and screen-writing team Henry Ephron and Phoebe Ephron, I think that the woman responsible for, among other films, Sleeping in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail really found her natural genre in the essay, where her wry voice was unfiltered and most original.

Most parents, I suspect, would agree with her quote above. An even higher percentage of women, I think, have, over the years, nodded their heads in agreement over this one: “As far as the men who are running for president are concerned, they aren't even people I would date.”

Joke of the Day (Andrew Osenga, on His ‘Main Job as a Father of Daughters’)

“Pretty sure my main job as a father of daughters is to make sure none of them become contestants on The Bachelor.” —American singer/songwriter and progressive rock musician Andrew Osenga, tweet of Mar. 13, 2013

(Photo of Andrew Osenga, performing at Para Coffee, Charlottesville, VA, Mar.18, 2010, taken by Jarsonic.)

Joke of the Day (Mark Chalifoux, on ‘The Biggest Change After Having Kids’)

“The biggest change after having kids was putting a swear jar in the house. Whenever I say a bad word, I have to put a dollar in the jar, and at the end of every month, I take all that money and buy myself a nice steak for being such a cool dad.”—Comedian Mark Chalifoux, quoted in “Life in These United States,” Reader’s Digest, October 2015