Feeling Bad....

Nabihah's fever is coming back on and off starting last Sunday. She will be very hot in the middle of the night, we have to put wet towel on her forehead and insert the bullet fever tablet into her anal to combat the fever. But then in the morning, she's all right. Last nite we went to clinic again cause the fever, cough and flu medicine has finished. But the doctor was not in, so we just took the medicine. Since she looked well except for the mild hot we felt when touching her skin, we thought it was ok not to see the doctor as long as we have the stock of medicine. But when we arrived home an hour later, Nabihah looked unwell and her skin felt so hot. We quickly gave her the fever medicine and she off to sleep. But we have to put the wet towel on her forehead. The whole night I couldn't sleep well, having to wake up on and off to check on her condition. But she slept soundly.

My husband was telling me last night maybe we should take her to the hospital for thorough check-up. Maybe we should refer her to the pediatrician instead of keep seeing the general doctor in the private clinic. But the problem is I can't take emergency leave to take her to the hospital. Remember my post on the MC issue? You can read it here.

My husband also in the midst of workload. He's busy with the university applications, preparation of final exam questions, some university management works he has to handle and all that, the dateline is by Friday. Already he's complaining for not being able to stay back at the office because he has to fetch the twins from the school before 6.30 pm. And I can't take turn to send and fetch them as I leave early and come home late.

He said he will be taking Nabihah to the hospital. I offered to send Nabilah to school but he refused coz he said it's a pity that Nabilah has to go to school without her sister. He said he can managed to bring two of them to the hospital. But I feel really bad for not being able to go with them. I'm not so career-ambitious minded woman but having a boss who couldn't understand problems of married people, makes me very cautious. But definitely if emergency things really happens, I have no choice but has to go off no matter what happen.

Funny is before I off to site, being in HQ is more flexible than here. Despite of having tonnes of works, I have no problem applying for leave, be on MC or taking few hours off from office (with permission of course!) to handle any emergency personal situation, like having to bring the kids to the clinic. That's why I thought working in SMHB for the past six years is very convenient because of the flexibility. Most of my colleagues who went to sites before always describe that working at site is heaven, because the working hours is more flexible (this gotta do with 'mengular' i guess....hehehe). But it doesn't happen here! Not that I want to 'mengular' but never would I imagine applying for leave will be so difficult or taking MC will be a critical issue.

How I wish I could just quit and stay at home. But I couldn't....I still have the financial commitment that I'm bound to at least until my husband is confirmed to further his study. I really really wish that his study plan works well. Now that he has passed his IELTS and going through the university application process.

Those who are stay-at-home moms, I really envy you guys for you all have the opportunity to raise your kids full time. I know this is about choice, but I just can't afford to choose being a full time mom now. Hope I will be able to join the club soon.

By the way, my husband did not take Nabihah to hospital this morning cause she didn't have the fever anymore. But if the fever still coming back tonight, going to the hospital tomorrow is a MUST.