"BY THE POWERTOOLS OF GORESKULL!!!"

 Here's some more DCC / Umerica / Aetherian dungeons (that also work perfectly for Neon Lords Of The Toxic Wasteland, Planet Motherfucker, and any other gonzocalypse).

Each has "toyetic playset features" and "accessories" to torment players.  And shoddiness is part of their charm!

THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™!!!

In recent years, I've switched from my beloved Mutant Future to Dungeon Crawl Classics.

And my favorite published setting / expansion is Umerica.  It's my kinda gonzocalypse.  Been playing steadily for over four years now.

I'm about to take the GM reins in my DCC group, and I'm using Aetheria as a setting.  (That's what those recent posts have been about, where silly brainstorms really took root.)

What's Aetheria, you ask?  It's serial-numbers-filed-off Masters Of The Universe via the Umerican apocalypse, with a dandy twist... that I'm going to completely bypass by starting after it's happened.

First Appearance Of All Thangs Aetheria!

I'm cranking up the jankiness of Aetheria even further, and really leaning into the "dollar store He-Man aesthetic".  Things are gonna get silly, y'all.

Cue 21^st-Century Filmation fanfare and symphonic soundtrack...

--

Planet Aetheria is rent asunder.

Rival nations of Nirvara of Mausolea lie in ruin.

THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™—iconic noble heroes and dastardly villains—are missing, obliterated... or worse.

And The Forces Of Good are primarily to blame.

--

Yes, the combined might of She-Ro (Vindicatrix Of Virtue and Daughter Of Blacksun The Liberator), Skulletox (Seventh Corpse-Born Son Of Skull-Or The Deceaseless), and interplanetary despot Lord Vespero Necronox (Evil Overlord Of Evil) revealed Aetheria's darkest secret:

Castle Oldskull, renowned bastion of all that is moral and decent, was in actuality a parasitic entity leeching the magical lifeforces of the populace to maintain an unrighteous status quo.

And, LO!!!  A mighty battle between Light, Darkness, and Everything In-Between raged...

...wreaking techno-sorcerous havoc and freakishly bending Reality As Was Known.

Now you—​perhaps the last remaining Aetherians (and lowly ones, at that)—find ​yourselves amongst the warpwastes to forge your own paths.

Where once stood only Castle Oldskull, bizarre new structures loom, resplendent with artifacts magical and mechanical guarded by robo-witches, spookborgs, all manner of abominations... and worse.

The worldwreck awaits.

Long live Aetheria!

LONG LIVE THE CONQUERORS OF THE COSMOS™!!!

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- CASTLE JIVESKULL

 

DARE YOU DANCE INTO
DISCTERIO'S DREAD DISCO DEMENSE?!!!

NOW WITH RAMPANT ROLLER ACTION!!!

DON'T MESS WITH WREXUS -- DISCTERIO

 

"DANCE, SPIDER-HE-MAN, DANCE!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Umerica Unleashes... THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Silverscreen procured this from an Aetherian [think "dollar store MOTU"] arms dealer.  Generated via the Umerica Unnatural's "Cache Of Astonishing Salvage -- Rayguns" chart.

The randomly rolled results were the perfect blend of bonkers and thematic, so I christened it with the first thing that popped into my head....

Angled View

THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Damage:  3d6, Photonic -- 50% chance blasts ignore physical armor (ignores all non-Impervious armor and Impervious armor only counts at ½ value)

Weird Damage:  DC 13 check to avoid instant death via goo-ification!  Turns 'em into li'l chewy gummies!

Range:  50’ long x 10’ wide cone

Ammo:  11 shots, Atomic Battery – fully recharges in 10 mins

Special Ability:  Targeter – adds +1d3 to all attack rolls

GM-Mandated Defect:  Electron-Restrictor Security Feature – can only be wielded 10 minutes (1 Turn ) before requiring a FORT Save at DC 12, with failure indicating user can’t hold gun or anything else for 1d5 mins

Quality:  Good

Rear View (with Targeter)

Side View

Angled View

What A Foe Sees!

Umerica Unleashes... SILVERSCREEN!!!

Here's my current DCC Umerica character rejiggered from various Transmorphotronobotic games that never got off the ground.  Consider him extra-jankified to fit into the apocalypse proper.

—

On his home planet, Silverscreen was a curmudgeonly antiquarian, archivist, and amateur holographic-arts critic [think Doc "Bones" McEbert].

Then came "The Incident", where his scoutcraft crashed on a primitive, desert backwater one fateful July night in 1947.  He hid from local law and military forces in a run-down drive-in, and stayed there for decades learning about his environs through the lens of B-movies and classroom scare films.  Armageddon led him to coming out of the literal (storage) closet to a ruined world.

(art by me)

Page 1

Page 2

"The Incident"

Alt-Mode!

Reel Hatchet!

Film Canister Battle-Tote!

(commission by Jacob Blackmon)

"S" is for "Sneakstank"

Here's another collaborative beastie arising from our Umerica group.  Each player rolled on the ol' mutations chart from Maximum Mutagenesis (which is a danged snazzy tome), hence the resulting ridiculousness.

Sneakstank

Sneakstanks are roughly man-sized crabs (around 4'-5' tall, and about 6' wide) with bulbous eyes and scaly, reptilian limbs.  Their mouth-mandibles end in small manipulative claws.

Sneakstanks are cunning, and while certainly no geniuses, are intelligent enough to utilize any tech that fits in their "hands".  Like piratical gondoliers, they pole across the waters via "trashbergs" to plunder unassuming coastal communities.

Sneakstank:  INIT +3; ATK big pincer +5 melee (2d6), small pincer +5 melee (1d6); AC 10 (d5 Armor); HD 3; MV 20' or 60' swim; ACT 1d20 (big) and 1d16 (small); SP Abnormal Limbs, Aquatic Adaptation (Water Ambush), Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes), Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor); SV Fort +4, Ref +0, Wil +2; AL N or C.

Abnormal Limbs:  lizard-like

Aquatic Adaptation (Water / Sand Ambush):  lies in wait under the surface of either water or sand, gaining a surprise attack against oblivious foes [must roll an Intelligence check at DC 15 to detect]. Successful surprise attacks are automatic critical hits.

Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes):  gains +10 to all visual perception checks; can see perfectly well in the dark; gains +2d to stare down an opponent.

Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor):  exudes a foul miasma that induces retching to all within 100’.  Getting closer requires a WILL save at DC 14; failure indicates convulsive gaging, inflicting a -2d penalty to all actions while within 100’ of the creature.  A new save must be made each round for those who choose to remain near the crab. Failing three saves in a row will cause the person to effectively be "turned" (as Turn Unholy of the core DCC book, pg 96-97).

"One Thing About Santa Clarita I Could Never Stomach: All The Damn Vampires"

Enjoy another new Dark Inheritance for Weird Frontiers.  This'un rounds out the various "main undeadlies" included in the core rules.  PDF is over in the files!

NEW DARK INHERITANCE – VAMPIRE

Power costs 1 point of Personality.

Kin-folk:  Vampire

Duration:  1d3+CL rounds

Visage:  The tommyknocker’s face becomes chiropteran, with ridiculously protruding ears, flattened upturned nose, and jutting snaggle-toothed fangs.  Their sunken eyes glow with unholy radiance, and fingers, connected by webbed skin, sharpen to elongated points.  Dripping spittle renders them nigh-unintelligible.  Attire becomes shrouded in cobwebs writhing with insects and graveworms.

Power:  The tommyknocker’s senses heighten to those of an apex predator.  They can see in abject darkness, and gain a +4 bonus to all visual-, auditory-, olfactory-, and gustatory-related rolls.  Furthermore, the tommyknocker gains a wall-crawling climb speed of 20’, and the ability to make standing leaps of 15’.

Curse:  The tommyknocker becomes malevolently ravenous for the lifeforces of the weak and infirm.  They must make a WIL Save of DC 10 each round to avoid assaulting the closest ally / friendliest NPC with the lowest current Hit Point total.  A successful attack grapples the victim, doing 1d6 biting damage the first round and 1d4 exsanguination damage each subsequent round until the effect ends.  Living targets reduced to 0 Hit Points in this fashion awaken as Vampires after three moonrises with a burning hatred for their tommyknocker sire.

"T" Is For "Trenchmouth"

 

Trenchmouths are sentient garbage disposals.  Their bulbous, rubbery, tripodic, sofa-sized bodies are essentially all snaggle-fanged mouth.

Trenchmouths sport three elongating (up to 15' each) tentacles, and the two thickest end in prehensile graspers with retractable grip-spines.   The slender third has two night-vision eyes and a "brainwave radar" nodule that detects (but can't read) thoughts of intelligent beings and psionics / mental mutations in a quarter-mile radius.  Trenchmouths are thereby impossible to Surprise.

When attacking at range, trenchmouths lash with both arms to smash, ensnare, or both.  Grasped targets suffer 1d6 damage upon initial contact and each round thereafter, and must make a DC 15 STR check to escape.  If a trenchmouth successfully snags the same target with both tentacles (during the same round, or eventually), its quarry is immediately retracted for a free bite attack.  Trenchmouths are otherwise only able to chomp adjacent targets.  Anyone bitten by a trenchmouth must make a DC 15 Fort Save or come down with ghastly gastro-intestinal strife (aka "trench-trots") that induces temporary 1d4 damage to STR, AGL, and STA, halved movement, and -4 to all rolls over 1d3 days.

Trenchmouths lair submerged in cesspits, sewers, landfills, junkyards, dumpsters, grease traps, and porta-johns.  Accordingly, they are immune to all toxins and diseases, and Surprise foes on 1-5 on 1d6.  And between their spongy mass and clinging "slimy trash coating", trenchmouths only suffer half damage from clubbing- and crushing-based attacks.

Trenchmouths speak Common, Trucker, Pervert, and the secret gurglings of ooze-dom.  Ambitious trenchmouths may take up adventuring, as they are surprisingly deft for their bulk and can manipulate most weapons, tools, and artifacts.

Trenchmouth (statted for Dungeon / Mutant Crawl Classics)

Init +3; Atk tentacle bludgeon +5 melee (1d10+2) or tentacle grasp +4 melee (entangle plus 1d6 per round) or bite melee +3 (2d8 + disease); AC 16; HD 8d8+17; MV trundle 20' or float 10'; Act 2d20; SP camouflage, constriction, disease, infravision 120', mind-sense; SV Fort +13, Ref +4, Wil +10; AL C

Be Fruitflyful And Mummify, Y'all!

I love DCC, and been enjoying the heck outta Weird Frontiers via Zoom.  (For the uninitiated, it's essentially Goodman Games' version of Deadlands.)

Here's a new Dark Inheritance for Tommyknockers, PCs who die during the funnel process and come back as spoooooky undead.

Hope y'all find some use!  (And the PDF version is over in the files.)

NEW DARK INHERITANCE – MUMMY

Power costs 1 point of Personality.

Kin-folk: Mummy

Duration: 1d3+CL rounds

Visage: The tommyknocker’s body desiccates. Their skin tightens and shrivels, and their height diminishes by six inches. Sinews pop and joints grind with every movement. Attire becomes weathered, tattered, and drab.

Power: The tommyknocker’s jaws distend to disgorge frenzied bugs (scorpions and centipedes if assuming the mien of an American mummy, or scarabs and locusts if Egyptian, or crawdads and dragonflies if bog variety) that swarm all targets within a 10’ long, 6’ wide-at-apex cone. For the duration, victims suffer 1d4+1 damage per round, and sentient opponents lose 1d2+1 AC [only at the onset; not cumulative] as they panic from the infestation. The tommyknocker’s compadres are ordinarily unaffected if caught in the area of effect.

Curse: The tommyknocker is overwhelmed by feelings of smug superiority and contempt for the lesser beings that dare intrude in its domain. They must make a WIL Save of DC 10 each round to keep the swarm focused on enemies; failure means bugs attack foes and friends alike.

Meet Corman!

 

This is Corman, an intelligent and telepathic otyugh trenchmouth.

They live in a hollowed out pit beneath four porta-johns stationed outside an Ancient spookhouse attraction, which warped into a legitimately haunted megadungeon after The Thunderkiss.

Think I'm gonna make them a mascot / patron / arch-enemy round these parts!

"Don't Mess With Wrexus" Redux

Hola amigos.  How's it hangin'?  I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but a lot's been going down in this part of town.  But it's boring and no bueno, so forget I said anything.

Anyhow...

I'm trying to un-rust the ol' gaming gears and do something with Goodman Games' post-apoc gonzofest setting, Umerica.

Good, good stuff.

It combines the Dungeon Crawl Classics chassis with the sensibilities I adore, and I'm adding all my fave inspirations (pictured below) to the brew.

Intro campaign flavor text follows!

Version 2.0!

The One That Started It All

***

Don’t Mess With Wrexus Redux

At 11:59:59 pm on December 31^st, 1999, the world ended.

Bombs dropped.

Reactors popped.

Seas boiled.

Continents roiled.

Phages bloomed.

Radiation 'shroomed.

Toxic waste erupted.

Gene pools corrupted.

Locusts molted.

Apes revolted.

Acids rained.

Mankind insaned.

The moon broke.

The old gods awoke.

And that’s when things got really bad.

For magic thrived and dinosaurs revived.  Monsters unhid and aliens invade-ed.  Kaiju stomped and demons romped.  Angels fell and The Dead rose from Hell.

—

The old-timers call it Judgment Day; others, Y2K.

More names abound:  The Flush.  The Thunderkiss.  The Reckoning.  The Bigger Bang.  The Great Mistake.  Even TEOTWAWKI.

But the past isn’t important beyond what you can scavenge from the burnt-out malls; what you can refurb from the rusting junkyards; what you can summon from the irradiated graveyards.  Toilet paper and gasoline, bullets and beer:  these are more valuable than all the gold in the cosmos.

Welcome to The Blighted States Of Nightmerica.

Hope you survive the experience.

(And if you don’t?  There’s always undeath!)