"BY THE POWERTOOLS OF GORESKULL!!!"

 Here's some more DCC / Umerica / Aetherian dungeons (that also work perfectly for Neon Lords Of The Toxic Wasteland, Planet Motherfucker, and any other gonzocalypse).

Each has "toyetic playset features" and "accessories" to torment players.  And shoddiness is part of their charm!

Umerica Unleashes... THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Silverscreen procured this from an Aetherian [think "dollar store MOTU"] arms dealer.  Generated via the Umerica Unnatural's "Cache Of Astonishing Salvage -- Rayguns" chart.

The randomly rolled results were the perfect blend of bonkers and thematic, so I christened it with the first thing that popped into my head....

Angled View

THE JUJUBEAMER!!!

Damage:  3d6, Photonic -- 50% chance blasts ignore physical armor (ignores all non-Impervious armor and Impervious armor only counts at ½ value)

Weird Damage:  DC 13 check to avoid instant death via goo-ification!  Turns 'em into li'l chewy gummies!

Range:  50’ long x 10’ wide cone

Ammo:  11 shots, Atomic Battery – fully recharges in 10 mins

Special Ability:  Targeter – adds +1d3 to all attack rolls

GM-Mandated Defect:  Electron-Restrictor Security Feature – can only be wielded 10 minutes (1 Turn ) before requiring a FORT Save at DC 12, with failure indicating user can’t hold gun or anything else for 1d5 mins

Quality:  Good

Rear View (with Targeter)

Side View

Angled View

What A Foe Sees!

"S" is for "Sneakstank"

Here's another collaborative beastie arising from our Umerica group.  Each player rolled on the ol' mutations chart from Maximum Mutagenesis (which is a danged snazzy tome), hence the resulting ridiculousness.

Sneakstank

Sneakstanks are roughly man-sized crabs (around 4'-5' tall, and about 6' wide) with bulbous eyes and scaly, reptilian limbs.  Their mouth-mandibles end in small manipulative claws.

Sneakstanks are cunning, and while certainly no geniuses, are intelligent enough to utilize any tech that fits in their "hands".  Like piratical gondoliers, they pole across the waters via "trashbergs" to plunder unassuming coastal communities.

Sneakstank:  INIT +3; ATK big pincer +5 melee (2d6), small pincer +5 melee (1d6); AC 10 (d5 Armor); HD 3; MV 20' or 60' swim; ACT 1d20 (big) and 1d16 (small); SP Abnormal Limbs, Aquatic Adaptation (Water Ambush), Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes), Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor); SV Fort +4, Ref +0, Wil +2; AL N or C.

Abnormal Limbs:  lizard-like

Aquatic Adaptation (Water / Sand Ambush):  lies in wait under the surface of either water or sand, gaining a surprise attack against oblivious foes [must roll an Intelligence check at DC 15 to detect]. Successful surprise attacks are automatic critical hits.

Gigantic Proportions (Huge Eyes):  gains +10 to all visual perception checks; can see perfectly well in the dark; gains +2d to stare down an opponent.

Queasy Emissions (Offensive Odor):  exudes a foul miasma that induces retching to all within 100’.  Getting closer requires a WILL save at DC 14; failure indicates convulsive gaging, inflicting a -2d penalty to all actions while within 100’ of the creature.  A new save must be made each round for those who choose to remain near the crab. Failing three saves in a row will cause the person to effectively be "turned" (as Turn Unholy of the core DCC book, pg 96-97).

"P" Is For "Pizzly" (Or "B" Is For "Bobble Bear")

This unholy creation was a collaborative effort amongst my long-term Umerica group.

We're starting a new campaign in the ruins of Aleutian Alaska, and the worldbuilding naturally involves new beasties.  Player M picked "grizzly / polar bear" hybrid, and The GM had us each roll an ability on the amazing mutation charts.

Sooooo Much Better Than Standard
Mutant Crawl Classics Rules

Meet the resultant monstrosity! 

Pizzly (aka Bobble Bear) 

Pizzlies are enormous ursines with freakishly enlarged heads with corresponding brains. They can--and do--consume anything, but posses a particular fondness for petroleum products. These chemicals leach into the fur, resulting in a protective plasticine coating; a dead pizzly's hide can be fashioned into tools and armor.

Two tentacles sprout from a pizzly's backside, and are deft enough to manipulate weapons and objects.

Pizzly (aka Bobble Bear): INIT +5; ATK bite +8 melee bite (1d14+2), claw +8 melee (1d6), tentacle slap +8 melee (1d3); AC 13 [d5 Armor]; HD 5+3; MV 40'; ACT 2d20 & 2d16 (tentacles); SP Carapace Protection (Plastic Shell), Gigantic Proportions (Head), Heightened Attributes (Agility), True Omnivore, Xenomorphic Traits (Tentacles); SV Fort +7, Ref +3, Wil +3; AL N or C.

Carapace Protection (Candy-Colored Coating): covered in resistant plastic-like fur and nodules increasing Armor +2d; can be fashioned into wearable armor and other implements.

Gigantic Proportions (Big Head): +1d5 to all Intelligence checks (as raccoon / dolphin / ape) and bite damage by +2d.

Heightened Attributes (Increased Agility): +2d to all Agility checks and Reflex saves.

True Omnivore: gains sustenance from eating meat, plants, and any / all petroleum products. 

Xenomorphic Traits (Tentacles): multiple tentacles grow from the creature's body; can use as well as normal limbs (and actually better, as can manipulate objects!) and grants 2d16 action dice for the tentacle’s actions.

"T" Is For "Trenchmouth"

 

Trenchmouths are sentient garbage disposals.  Their bulbous, rubbery, tripodic, sofa-sized bodies are essentially all snaggle-fanged mouth.

Trenchmouths sport three elongating (up to 15' each) tentacles, and the two thickest end in prehensile graspers with retractable grip-spines.   The slender third has two night-vision eyes and a "brainwave radar" nodule that detects (but can't read) thoughts of intelligent beings and psionics / mental mutations in a quarter-mile radius.  Trenchmouths are thereby impossible to Surprise.

When attacking at range, trenchmouths lash with both arms to smash, ensnare, or both.  Grasped targets suffer 1d6 damage upon initial contact and each round thereafter, and must make a DC 15 STR check to escape.  If a trenchmouth successfully snags the same target with both tentacles (during the same round, or eventually), its quarry is immediately retracted for a free bite attack.  Trenchmouths are otherwise only able to chomp adjacent targets.  Anyone bitten by a trenchmouth must make a DC 15 Fort Save or come down with ghastly gastro-intestinal strife (aka "trench-trots") that induces temporary 1d4 damage to STR, AGL, and STA, halved movement, and -4 to all rolls over 1d3 days.

Trenchmouths lair submerged in cesspits, sewers, landfills, junkyards, dumpsters, grease traps, and porta-johns.  Accordingly, they are immune to all toxins and diseases, and Surprise foes on 1-5 on 1d6.  And between their spongy mass and clinging "slimy trash coating", trenchmouths only suffer half damage from clubbing- and crushing-based attacks.

Trenchmouths speak Common, Trucker, Pervert, and the secret gurglings of ooze-dom.  Ambitious trenchmouths may take up adventuring, as they are surprisingly deft for their bulk and can manipulate most weapons, tools, and artifacts.

Trenchmouth (statted for Dungeon / Mutant Crawl Classics)

Init +3; Atk tentacle bludgeon +5 melee (1d10+2) or tentacle grasp +4 melee (entangle plus 1d6 per round) or bite melee +3 (2d8 + disease); AC 16; HD 8d8+17; MV trundle 20' or float 10'; Act 2d20; SP camouflage, constriction, disease, infravision 120', mind-sense; SV Fort +13, Ref +4, Wil +10; AL C

"Don't Mess With Wrexus" Redux

Hola amigos.  How's it hangin'?  I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but a lot's been going down in this part of town.  But it's boring and no bueno, so forget I said anything.

Anyhow...

I'm trying to un-rust the ol' gaming gears and do something with Goodman Games' post-apoc gonzofest setting, Umerica.

Good, good stuff.

It combines the Dungeon Crawl Classics chassis with the sensibilities I adore, and I'm adding all my fave inspirations (pictured below) to the brew.

Intro campaign flavor text follows!

Version 2.0!

The One That Started It All

***

Don’t Mess With Wrexus Redux

At 11:59:59 pm on December 31^st, 1999, the world ended.

Bombs dropped.

Reactors popped.

Seas boiled.

Continents roiled.

Phages bloomed.

Radiation 'shroomed.

Toxic waste erupted.

Gene pools corrupted.

Locusts molted.

Apes revolted.

Acids rained.

Mankind insaned.

The moon broke.

The old gods awoke.

And that’s when things got really bad.

For magic thrived and dinosaurs revived.  Monsters unhid and aliens invade-ed.  Kaiju stomped and demons romped.  Angels fell and The Dead rose from Hell.

—

The old-timers call it Judgment Day; others, Y2K.

More names abound:  The Flush.  The Thunderkiss.  The Reckoning.  The Bigger Bang.  The Great Mistake.  Even TEOTWAWKI.

But the past isn’t important beyond what you can scavenge from the burnt-out malls; what you can refurb from the rusting junkyards; what you can summon from the irradiated graveyards.  Toilet paper and gasoline, bullets and beer:  these are more valuable than all the gold in the cosmos.

Welcome to The Blighted States Of Nightmerica.

Hope you survive the experience.

(And if you don’t?  There’s always undeath!)