Rings (2017) Review

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1/5 STARS

So. First you watch it, then you die...

Credit: IMDB

This newest installment in the Ringu franchise is a confused, and ever so slightly boring foray into the depths of Samara's Well with a weak script and mostly unknown actors that can't carry the film's lack of originality.

We start off on a plane with a man giving an in depth explanation of the doomed tape, presumably to catch the new generation of teens up on the storyline (well, The Ring 2 was released in 2005). When Samara catches up with him, the tape starts to play on all of the screens across the plane, which makes me wonder - did the plane crash? Did all of those passengers get their 7 days? I'm supposed to be concentrating here - let's get back to the review.

Moving on, we see Johnny Galecki and a gloomy looking girl acquire a VCR from a garage sale with a brief shout out to the dearly departed plane guy we just saw. As you can predict, inside the VCR is a copy of the tape - he points this out to Skye (the aforementioned gloomy girl, played by Aimee Teegarden) and here we find out he's a Professor named Gabriel.

Long story short, he watches the tape.

But wait, here's another cut to Julia (Matilda Lutz) and Holt (Alex Roe), a couple of teens in love spending their last few hours together before he goes off to college and she... stays at home for her mother? This isn't really ever expanded on.

You can see where this is headed. Holt goes off to college and tells Julia about his Modern Biology class but that the rest of his classes are uninspiring. After not hearing from him for a while, she's woken up from a sexy dream by a video call, oops it's Skye calling!

Julia travels to find Holt, and after some sleuthing, finds her way into Gabriel's lab (well, it looks like a 90s hacker den crossed with a nightclub) where we see distorted images and countdown timers against people's names (yes, Holt is one of them). Looks like Prof. Gabriel is conducting some scientific research into Samara and the afterlife (where did that funding come from?!) - don't get your hopes up though, this exciting new take on the story is short lived.

We see Skye freaking out because of the tape, and Prof. Gabriel tells her to calm her shit, make a copy and have someone else watch it.

Julia ends up back at Skye's house and manages to get in touch with Holt who tells her to NOT watch the tape. Samara comes to bump off Skye (and is a flickery mess whilst doing so) and Holt turns up to explain everything to Julia (including that he's watched the tape himself).

As is expected, Julia secretly watches the tape in order to save Holt and receives the ominous phone call on an old house phone (do people still have these?), coming away with a burn on her hand. We travel back to Prof. Gabriel who explains his research a little more and tells Julia to make her own copy. As they try to copy the file, we find out it's too big to duplicate because more video has been added (how or why, we never find out), a video within a video... videoception.

Here is where any interesting premise the film may have had, disappears and we begin the long, boring journey of watching a samey remake of the 2002 film starring Naomi Watts. We see some casual grave desecration, a bit of chatting to a weird blind guy and breaking and entering into a Church.

Along the way we see some attempts at introducing some scares (because a CGI-heavy scene involving Samara has done nothing to cause any alarm) with a Don't Breathe esque mad-man, that doesn't quite hit the spot. A few cheap jump scares here and there (umbrellas, eels - you catch my drift) do nothing but annoy when their source material (The original Ringu (1998)) is so frightening.

It soon becomes apparent that Samara will be saving our main character from harm so that she can give Samara her freedom. Do we just gloss over the fact that Samara has killed many, many people prior to this? Surely we're not feeling sorry for this sodding wet villain... right?

Oh, I spoke too soon, after a brief shower scene involving a hair ball, Holt finds out the burn on Julia's hand is actually braille and turns to the internet to decipher what it means. We see Samara's true plan and right on cue, the tape is sent via email to hundreds of people and a few comments back about 'uploading' the video right away. Finally, a 2 second reference to the age of technology that we live in. Really, in a world with a powerhouse like Youtube, we'd all have seen that tape before the movie even began.

I just hope we don't have another of these to sit through in the future (but we probably will get one anyway).

Credit: IMDB

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The Letter "D"

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Continued from 'Blue'

Jane froze at the sight of the balloon, marooned on her gate. Tentatively she stepped towards it, brows furrowed, pulling her jacket around her closely. 

She reached the gate and looked towards both sides of her street. Nothing. The guy had followed her home, that much was true but she didn't understand what his objective was. He could have just been a creep trying to freak her out but in this age, he could be dangerous or at least intending on doing something malicious. 

She strode over to her door, opened it as quickly as her shaking hands would allow and threw her bags into the hallway, slamming the door behind her. Picking up her handbag, she emptied it on the floor and her phone crashed to the ground. She slid her finger across the screen and watched as it dialled Lisa's number. 

"Hey there sugarbum" Lisa joked, waiting for the purpose of the call to be announced. 

"Where are you guys, that guy from earlier followed me home. I don't want to be alone" Jane whispered, not really knowing why.

"We've just paid... Are you sure?" came the reply.

"I'm sure Lisa, hurry home" Jane said, ending the call and gathering her bags. 

She sat in the kitchen, waiting impatiently for her friends to return home so she could either take her mind off the guy or at least feel safer. After what felt like an eternity, she heard a key being inserted into the front door and the friendly faces of Lisa and Laura greeted her from the hallway. "This was randomly tied to the gate" shrugged Lisa, dragging the ominous blue balloon behind her. 

"That's what I'm talking about, the guy who was following us earlier, he was carrying that balloon" Jane shot back, not understanding why they weren't taking this as seriously as she was.

"What guy Jane? Are you ok?" frowned Laura.

"Yes I'm fine, except for the fact that this huge guy was following us around all afternoon holding THAT balloon and when I get home THAT balloon is tied to my gate" she retorted, all patience lost.

"Ok, so we'll call the police if we see him again but we didn't see the guy Jane" Lisa hugged her, trying to calm her down. "Let's have a drink and then we'll take all the stuff upstairs" she continued, turning to Laura with a puzzled look on her face. 

They sat down whilst Laura found an open bottle of white wine sitting in the fridge, emptying it into three glasses for them to take the edge off the situation. They sat and enjoyed the wine, the balloon floating slowly across the floor. One bottle turned into two and soon enough, the tall man had been forgotten, replaced with an impromptu fashion show starring the three tipsy ladies. 

Jane, having been handed a little more wine than the other two, had pulled on her new glitzy gold dress and slipped on Laura's stilettos. She began to strut across the kitchen floor, pouting every few seconds to make her friends laugh. The shoes were a little too high for her however and as her feet found the string from the balloon, she felt herself slip and she crashed to the floor.

"Oh jeez, Jane are you ok?" worried Laura, with Lisa laughing in the background. She rushed to her side, pulling her up. 

"I'm fine" Jane laughed, standing herself up and kicking off her friend's shoes. "Help me carry this stuff to my room" she motioned to them both.

They each picked up a few bags and chuckled their way to the stairs. Lisa led the way, turning on the light to the hallway as night had drawn in. "It's cold up here, we should put the heating on" she noted, turning to Jane and Laura. "It is on" Jane replied, still laughing with Laura. 

They reached Jane's door but all three of them stopped. The air was freezing and none of them wanted to open the door. They looked at each other, confused as to what it was holding them back. The tipsy giggles left Jane and the events of the day came rushing back to the forefront of her memory, filling her with dread.

"Guys, stay there" she said, giving them her bags.

Placing her hand on the door handle, she took in a breath and pushed the door open swiftly. Nothing. They all laughed in unison, "Damn Jane, you have us all paranoid" Lisa joked. Jane turned to to push her friend but missed as Lisa had moved and flipped on the light to her room. 

As the light flooded the area, Jane went to grab the bags from her friend's hands when she realised they were just standing open mouthed staring at her. Frowning she asked "What?". Their reply was to continue staring at her, faces seemingly white. She realised that they were not staring at her, but behind her and it dawned on her. He was here.

She slowly turned to face her fate and was relieved to find noone behind her. Her relief was quickly replaced with fear as she saw what had grabbed her friends' attention.

Her eyes scanned the letter 'D' painted across her wall in red paint. At least, she had hoped it was red paint.

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Blue

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"Just a hot chocolate please" Jane requested, smiling at the thought of warming up with a hot drink on the girls' day out shopping. Her friends Laura and Lisa were waiting with their drinks at the other end of the counter. They'd planned a guiltless day of shopping stopping only for food and drink. 

Picking up her finished beverage at the drink station, whipped cream and sprinkles included, they scanned the shop for an empty table. "Ah the window seats!" exclaimed Lisa, an unapologetic people watcher. They made their way through the crowded store and fell into the chairs arranged by the window. 

After a few moments of sipping and relaxing, the girls began to compare their purchases from the past couple of hours. Jane pulled out a sparkling gold dress that she'd found in the sale, not her usual attire but at the price it was selling for she had to take it. "That's something I'll be borrowing" winked Laura, who had her new stiletto shoes in her lap for them to admire. 

As more garments were being pulled from bags and shown off at the table, Jane gazed out the window. People were rushing by, oblivious to each other, bumping around with noone really noticing anyone else. Typical of a city centre, everyone in their own world making a beeline for their next purchase. Just as she started to turn back to the mini fashion show, a man caught her eye. He was unnaturally tall and very thin. Just standing there, holding a blue coloured balloon on the other side of the walkway. At first she assumed he was just waiting for someone but he himself seemed to be watching everyone.

"Earth to Jaaaaane" Lisa mocked, poking her in the side.

She pulled herself away from the window and turned back to her friends. "Where's that sweater you found?" Lisa asked, pointing to Jane's bags. 

Jane smirked, knowing that Lisa would try to borrow it all the time but it was so soft that she'd be hiding it in her closet. She pulled it out and handed it over for her friends to admire. After they'd recapped on all their purchases, they drank up and gathered their things ready to head back out and continue with their trip. 

They had browsed through a few shops and were about to enter a beauty store when Jane stopped at the entrance. The others carried on ahead until they realised they'd lost a member of the group. They turned to see Jane staring away from the store. "Jane, what are you doing?" they chorused, to no reply. 

She was watching him again, the tall man from earlier. She'd forgotten about him before but she was sure he had been following her around. Now he was only a few shops away, watching her. His face was obscured by the hat he was wearing, pulled down and covering his eyes in shadow. She only glanced away as her friends tried to drag her inside. "No don't, that guy has been following us around all day" she pointed. Her friends peered around the doors to the store, "What guy?" they asked in unison again. 

"Him, with the balloon" she pointed him out again but the others couldn't seem to see who she was referring to. They both waltzed back into the store, leaving her at the door, just watching the man with the balloon. Whilst his face was obscured, she was sure he had started to smirk now, sending a chill down her spine as a result. 

She frowned and darted into the store, trying to put the man out of her mind for the rest of the trip. After a few more hours of wandering around the shopping centre and buying bits and bobs, she made her way home without her friends as they decided to dash to the supermarket to grab food for dinner.

As Jane rounded the corner towards their house, she realised that after the beauty store the man had disappeared. It relieved her to think that it was just a creepy guy who got bored once she decided to ignore him. She stopped at her front door and tried to grasp her keys from her handbag without putting all her shopping down. Once this attempt had failed she admitted defeat and let all her bags drop to the floor, accidentally dropping her handbag with them. Sighing, she bent down to rummage for her keys amongst the sea of receipts and old sweet packets. After a moment or two she found them and stood back up to let herself into the house, ready to fall onto the couch and maybe have a little nap. 

As she pushed the key into the door, a strange squeaking noise coming from behind startled her. The hairs on her arms stood on end and she closed her eyes wishing it was just her imagination. As she reopened them, she tilted her head to the side so she could see who was behind her in the reflection of the glass in her door. Heart beating fast, she swirled to meet the stranger behind her and was met only by a single blue balloon, tied to her gate.

See the next installment- The Letter 'D'

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Right

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The car shuddered to a halt on the dusty track belonging to the cabin. A typical sight, logs here and there with various trophies displayed on the walls. Unfortunate for the animal but a staple for any log cabin enthusiast, something Carl loved to hate every time his father, Dan, guilted him into a father-son weekend. 

He hadn't been too keen on the weekends for a long while. As a child the adventures were exhilarating but now he would rather hang out with friends over a cold one... or ten. His father still came once or twice a year though, albeit alone. The lakes were great for hunting and he preferred the peace and quiet away from the bustle of town life. 

Glancing toward the cabin, he spotted his father waving him in from the crooked front porch. He waved back, and pulled his keys from the ignition. Watching Dan re-enter the cabin, which Carl thought of more as a shack with its less than practical design, he pulled his dufflebag from the passenger side seat and slid out of his truck. 

He took his time, merely ambling toward their home for the weekend hoping that the experience wouldn't been too excruciating this time. "Finally Boy, I was about to come drag you inside myself you were walking so slow". Rolling his eyes Carl responded, "Well we aren't all go getters like you Dad". Silence followed, but only briefly as his father let out a slow laugh and then patted him on the shoulder. 

"Well then let's get started shall we?" his father suggested. 

"No Dad, I've literally just arrived. Can we just chill out for a little while, y'know, relax?" Carl was fatigued from the drive up and fancied a little nap by the fireplace for an hour or two. 

"Fine, fine" Dan replied, both of them settling down by the hearth. Pulling out two bottles from his bag, Carl tossed one to his father, "Cheers" he winked and they began to drink in silence. 

                                                              ***

"Carl, wake up we need to get going if we're going to get anything done at all this weekend."

"CARL"

He'd heard his father the first time, he wasn't even truly napping. Just stalling for time but the proverbial bull had reared its head and so he tackled the situation head on. 

"Dad, do you think you could just, not, this time". He asked, knowing the retort that was to come.

"What are you blathering about, I have to do it, I always do"

"You don't have to do anything Dad" he said, watching his father disappear down the hallway into the bedroom. He soon emerged, chain in hand. This one looked terrible he thought, assuming his father had arrived a day or two early to find the catch without him. 

He had loved it as a child, every kid wants to be like their dad. Most kids would do anything their dad asked of them and Carl was no different. He adored coming to the cabin to hunt with his father, it made him feel grown up and sometimes he was even allowed half a cup of beer to celebrate the catch. He had matured now though, he was an adult, and he spent all of his time at college. Time that had expanded his horizons and he had realised that he didn't like the pastimes of the past anymore. In fact, they made him feel bad just thinking about them.

"Carl, I don't know what this college business has done to you but you know why I do this and I'd like to think that I don't need to explain myself to my child" Dan responded, almost snapping at his son. 

Looking at the catch for the weekend, Carl saddened. He could see the fear in her eyes, almost pleading with Carl to set her free. From the looks of her spindly legs, she'd wandered into one of his fathers traps that littered the woods. Blood had seeped out and dried, with a glimmer of bone just peeking its way through the torn meat on her leg. She let a whimper of sorts pierce the air, to which his father responded with a sharp slap across the cheek. 

A funny moan escaped her lips and Carl realised his father had cut out her tongue and burned the end, sealing it as to not kill her. He must have caught her today, no-one could survive this for very long. Pulling her brown hair from her face, his father uttered "Not long now pretty lady".

"Dad, please let her go. It's bad to keep doing this. It always has been" he pleaded, which only made the girl cry even more. "She's probably just lost her friends, she doesn't deserve this fate".

"It's not about what is good or bad Carl. It's about what is right" Dan replied as he dragged the girl towards the door, picking up his hunting rifle on the way. "I was chosen to rid the earth of these vermin Carl, you know that. This heathen deserves her fate".

He whispered "Run little lady" as he opened the door and freed her chains. Watching the teenager limp towards the hillside he pulled his gun up to his shoulder and began the chase. 

Flickr User John Kent Title: Middle Tennessee Cabin

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January Writing Challenge

The start of a new year brings many resolutions and a popular trend on the internet (I've found) is the 30 Day Photo challenge (take a look- http://www.pinterest.com/cherylebb0819/photo-challenges/ ). As you've clicked through to this terrifying website, it's obvious we aren't here to take pictures or discuss our lives so I've chosen on of these photo challenges and I'll be writing a short horror story on each day starting tomorrow. 

Take a look- 

Not so scary upon first glance but I think we can have some fun with it! Any other horror writers reading right now? Join in! The more the merrier. 

Look for the first upload tomorrow, bookmark or follow to make sure you don't miss out! If you have any ideas for short stories send them in to kay@urbanlegendsandhorror.com and I'll see what I can do!

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