Right

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The car shuddered to a halt on the dusty track belonging to the cabin. A typical sight, logs here and there with various trophies displayed on the walls. Unfortunate for the animal but a staple for any log cabin enthusiast, something Carl loved to hate every time his father, Dan, guilted him into a father-son weekend. 

He hadn't been too keen on the weekends for a long while. As a child the adventures were exhilarating but now he would rather hang out with friends over a cold one... or ten. His father still came once or twice a year though, albeit alone. The lakes were great for hunting and he preferred the peace and quiet away from the bustle of town life. 

Glancing toward the cabin, he spotted his father waving him in from the crooked front porch. He waved back, and pulled his keys from the ignition. Watching Dan re-enter the cabin, which Carl thought of more as a shack with its less than practical design, he pulled his dufflebag from the passenger side seat and slid out of his truck. 

He took his time, merely ambling toward their home for the weekend hoping that the experience wouldn't been too excruciating this time. "Finally Boy, I was about to come drag you inside myself you were walking so slow". Rolling his eyes Carl responded, "Well we aren't all go getters like you Dad". Silence followed, but only briefly as his father let out a slow laugh and then patted him on the shoulder. 

"Well then let's get started shall we?" his father suggested. 

"No Dad, I've literally just arrived. Can we just chill out for a little while, y'know, relax?" Carl was fatigued from the drive up and fancied a little nap by the fireplace for an hour or two. 

"Fine, fine" Dan replied, both of them settling down by the hearth. Pulling out two bottles from his bag, Carl tossed one to his father, "Cheers" he winked and they began to drink in silence. 

                                                              ***

"Carl, wake up we need to get going if we're going to get anything done at all this weekend."

"CARL"

He'd heard his father the first time, he wasn't even truly napping. Just stalling for time but the proverbial bull had reared its head and so he tackled the situation head on. 

"Dad, do you think you could just, not, this time". He asked, knowing the retort that was to come.

"What are you blathering about, I have to do it, I always do"

"You don't have to do anything Dad" he said, watching his father disappear down the hallway into the bedroom. He soon emerged, chain in hand. This one looked terrible he thought, assuming his father had arrived a day or two early to find the catch without him. 

He had loved it as a child, every kid wants to be like their dad. Most kids would do anything their dad asked of them and Carl was no different. He adored coming to the cabin to hunt with his father, it made him feel grown up and sometimes he was even allowed half a cup of beer to celebrate the catch. He had matured now though, he was an adult, and he spent all of his time at college. Time that had expanded his horizons and he had realised that he didn't like the pastimes of the past anymore. In fact, they made him feel bad just thinking about them.

"Carl, I don't know what this college business has done to you but you know why I do this and I'd like to think that I don't need to explain myself to my child" Dan responded, almost snapping at his son. 

Looking at the catch for the weekend, Carl saddened. He could see the fear in her eyes, almost pleading with Carl to set her free. From the looks of her spindly legs, she'd wandered into one of his fathers traps that littered the woods. Blood had seeped out and dried, with a glimmer of bone just peeking its way through the torn meat on her leg. She let a whimper of sorts pierce the air, to which his father responded with a sharp slap across the cheek. 

A funny moan escaped her lips and Carl realised his father had cut out her tongue and burned the end, sealing it as to not kill her. He must have caught her today, no-one could survive this for very long. Pulling her brown hair from her face, his father uttered "Not long now pretty lady".

"Dad, please let her go. It's bad to keep doing this. It always has been" he pleaded, which only made the girl cry even more. "She's probably just lost her friends, she doesn't deserve this fate".

"It's not about what is good or bad Carl. It's about what is right" Dan replied as he dragged the girl towards the door, picking up his hunting rifle on the way. "I was chosen to rid the earth of these vermin Carl, you know that. This heathen deserves her fate".

He whispered "Run little lady" as he opened the door and freed her chains. Watching the teenager limp towards the hillside he pulled his gun up to his shoulder and began the chase. 

Flickr User John Kent Title: Middle Tennessee Cabin

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12:01am

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"5 minutes left everyone, find your someone special!"

Sarah rolled her eyes, the University had been extra cruel with her timetabling this year and her exams were to start on the 4th January which not only meant that she was taking a test on a Saturday but that she was also stuck in the library on New Years Eve. Her friends had tried to lure her to the impromptu street party that had sprung up outside the dorms but this exam was much too important. Her first round of exams hadn't gone so well and she was expected to resit in order to catch up. 

She wasn't the only one with her head in the books that night, Amy, her course-mate (if that's what you could call her), was also expected to resit in order to pull her up from a fail to a pass. Sarah had struggled with the workload, leading to her fail, but her fellow library-goer for the night simply never turned up to lectures.

Sarah had hoped that Amy wouldn't base her study operation too close to her own area for the night, expecting that she'd be asked countless questions about course content. Thankfully, Amy contained herself in the private study area, leaving Sarah to revise in peace. A guy Sarah didn't recognise had also entered the library that night but she hadn't seen him since he first arrived a few hours earlier. They'd exchanged polite smiles and left it at that. 

Slamming her hefty book closed on the sleek new tables the University had installed during its "modernisation period", she circled her fingertips against her temples attempting to subdue what felt like the beginnings of a headache. The revelers in the street had increased in decibel as the clock drew closer to midnight, so she stuck her hand into her mess of a handbag and fumbled around for her phone. Locating the device, she clicked in the side button and sure enough the time read 11:59pm. Deciding to at least acknowledge the impending new year, she wandered over to the window to partake in the festivities (even if it was from the silence of the library). 

"3... 2... 1... Happy New Year!"

Making sure she was truly alone in her little area of the library that night, she did a jig of sorts to celebrate the arrival of 2014 and just as quickly regained her composure readying up for the next couple of hours of studying. 

Stealing one last glance at the party in the street, which had broken into song with Auld Lang Syne, she headed back to her table. Spotting her phone dancing around dangerously close to the edge of the table, she realised someone had managed to fight through the millions of phone calls being made at that precise moment and get through to wish her a happy new year. Catching it just as it was about to drop onto the thinly carpeted floor, she frowned at the unknown number message flashing in her hand. 12:01am on New Year's Day, it must be someone she knew,so she slid her thumb across the screen and answered. 

"Happy New Year!" She exclaimed, expecting a familiar voice to identify themselves on the other end to no luck. The crowd had gotten louder with the second rendition of Auld Lang Syne so she blocked her other ear with her finger in an attempt to hear her caller.

"I can't hear you, speak up." she said, frowning at the festivities now. Still nothing. Moving to the corner of the room she could just about pick up a faint thumping noise on the other end. Realising this was quite possibly a pocket dial, she shouted "HELLO" down the phone to try to gain the attention of her midnight dialler. She could just hang up but it was 2014 and she wanted at least one person to talk to for a few minutes. Pushing her call control buttons on screen, she changed the call to speakerphone to try to figure out who it was. 

Almost on cue, the drunken party-goers had grown tired of singing and had resumed normal celebrations for the night. 

Still thumping on the other end of the phone. It didn't really fit the profile of a pocket dial, which usually featured some heavy rustling and voices on the other end. This call was silent except for that thump, thump, thump noise. Resigning herself to defeat, she was about to hang up when a new noise filled the air. A dragging sound.

She frowned. What on earth is this call about? And then footsteps. It dawned on her that someone was dragging something on the other end of the line and for some reason this made her very nervous. Setting the phone back to its normal call mode, she decided to go find her course-mate and get a second opinion. That and to calm herself down. Something just didn't sound right, she didn't know what but it had freaked her out a little.

She made her way across the main library floor to the stairs which lead to the private study area. For some reason she was creeping down the steps one by one but she didn't stop herself. The air felt tense around her despite the celebrations happening outside. She found her way to the area that her course-mate had said she was headed and pushed through the door letting it swing shut behind her, to alert Amy to the fact that she was coming (and partly just to break the silence that was making her nervous). 

Deciding she was only freaking herself out, she called out "Amy" before she came to the private area. Just as rounded the corner, she stopped. Every single hair on her body stood on end and dread filled her limbs. The smiling guy from earlier was dancing around with one of Amy's arms in hand, leaving a dark stain of blood across the carpet as he dragged her.

"You finally joined the party, come, dance."

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2 reasons I probably wouldn't survive a horror film.

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Here in Urban Legends and Horror HQ I like to think I'm a little knowledgeable when it comes to the horror genre, I may not bother myself with every horror film I come across but I've seen more than enough to give me a good idea of what to expect of those situations.

So naturally, being a long time horror lover, I just assume that I would ass-kick my way through any bad guy or evil doer without even breaking a sweat. 

This however, would probably never happen.

Reason 1: I am the shower scene girl from any horror film ever.

I may have seen any horror film I could get my hands on and read every single Point Horror book as a child but I also forget this stuff at crucial times. 

Let's take a more or less recent example. Before I moved to my current house, I lived in a tiny cottage with my better half in the countryside. He was at work, it was nighttime and I decided to take a shower. So there I am, in our tiny shower minding my own business. Mid shower I hear a few noises but as a fearless woman I obviously brush them off... I wish. What actually happened was that I promptly turned off the shower, wrapped myself in a towel and crept down the staircase to see what the noise was.

Oh hi there Mister Evil Killer Guy, it's me, half naked shower lady presenting myself for slaughter.

My entire knowledge-base of DOs and DON'Ts of the horror genre literally evaded me that night. What if there actually was a machete wielding hockey player in my living room? Right there I just became the most pathetic death in a Scream sequel.

Typical Shower Scene. GIF source http://scream.tumblr.com/

Reason 2: I am the worst person ever in "crisis" situations.

A lot of horror films tend to feature some typical character roles: the leader, the loner, the beauty, the smart one. Some real worldly situations have taught me that unless I have someone to tell me what to do in a crisis, I probably won't do very well.

Take two weeks ago for example. I'd put the washing machine on and just finished washing the dishes, noticing that the water was draining pretty darn slowly in the sink. I finish up in the kitchen and come back into the living room to watch my boyfriend playing Xbox, casually mentioning that the kitchen sink wasn't draining properly. A few minutes later I go back into the kitchen to check on the water only to find that the sink was overflowing with water all over the floor. What do I do? I shout for my boyfriend. Multiple times. He immediately rushes in to see me, staring at the sink, water flowing everywhere and promptly grabs a few pans and empties the water out of the sink.

My reaction, freeze and call for help. His reaction, actually do stuff to you know, help the situation.

This wasn't the first instance of this happening. We've had a small fire that I discovered in the kitchen and upon my discovery, I shouted for my boyfriend. Our dog ran out of our garden into the street, I shouted for my boyfriend. In horror films, the damsel in distress is mostly always killed pretty quickly, sometimes in a towel because she just climbed out of the shower to investigate a strange noise.

So there you have it, I am one big disaster in crisis situations. I can picture it now. An evil toy clown comes at me with a comically large knife. Instead of dealing with that myself, I call for my boyfrie- Oh wait he killed me already. 

Yeah, he's tiny. And what? Image from: El Grimlock, Deviant Art

There are probably a lot more reasons I'd be a good target for most film bad guys but the good thing about this is, now I know my weaknesses. I can work on them and then promptly begin the ass-kicking if I ever need to. Unless my boyfriend is nearby, then he can do it.

Are there any reasons you wouldn't survive the first act of a horror flick?

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Films that scare you?

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As horror fans go, I'd say I'm a pretty good one. Whilst I don't watch every single horror film I can get my hands on (whilst most would see this a blasphemous, I really can't watch badly made films - which I suppose a lot of horror falls into) I can say that I've seen A LOT of horror. 

Some may never let their child watch a horror film and yet I was permitted to watch such films at a young age. I guess this led to my fascination with the horror genre, I watched films and not unlike a lot of children/teens my age back then I was a HUGE fan of the Point Horror book series (and Point Horror UNLEASHED for us hardcore horror fans). So after overloading myself with scares from an early age I guess it's safe to say that as of now, I don't really become too scared by horror films anymore.

I guess the last horror film that actually scared me was Paranormal Activity 1. Before the inevitable groan escapes those lips of yours, let me defend myself. I was 19, I had just started University and I only had 1 other girl on my floor. We went to watch the film at the nearby Cineworld and well you know what girls are like. Fear breeds fear and boy was she scared... 

I mean you can hate the PA franchise all you want but when you are lying awake at night all alone and you are replaying the film in your head. Picture the scene of Katie being yanked from her bed by her leg. Really. That nonsense is terrifying and that is all my brain could think of that night.

After the Paranormal Activity incident I've been tense during horror films but never scared. My good friend Jordan keeps egging me on to watch Mirrors which I am yet to indulge in. The problem is, mirrors scare me in real life. Seriously. I expect to see a serial killer in the reflection behind me at all times of the day in my bathroom so I'm not entirely sure if watching a horror film based on mirrors would be a great idea for me...

I feel like  I need a good scaring, I'll hate myself afterwards for it (a horror fan who is terrified of the dark) but this can't be it for me. Almost 23 years into my life and there are no longer horror films to keep me awake at night?

I remember watching Darkness Falls when I was roughly 13 maybe 14. That film ended with me falling asleep in the light beams of my TV on the floor. It has now been uploaded onto UK Netflix... Maybe it's time for a relapse into childhood scares!

If you're reading this and you have *the* perfect film to scare the pants off me do comment or send me an email at kay@urbanlegendsandhorror.com.

- Kay

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So you want to survive a horror movie?

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If you've watched as many horror films as I have, you will be screaming at the TV as much as I do. Here are some tips on how to survive a slasher movie, you know, just in case.

1) Never say "This only happens in movies", you will die. Fast.


2) Never get drunk or high off drugs. You will be killed, albeit in a funny manner.


3) Don't randomly decide you're horny. Sex whilst being stalked by a maniac is just asking for it.


4) Look up lucid dreaming on the internet. Learn it, practice it, apply it.


5) Unless you want to: 1) Have the lamest death ever 2) Be killed in your dreams. You should make friends with caffeine, sleeping will result in your demise. Coffee, Coke, Pepsi, Red Bull, Pro Plus = all good sources.


6) Dress respectfully, if you watch these flicks carefully you'll see that the scantily clad, naked ladies get killed first.


7) Did you hear that? Yes we all heard it and we are now going to get away from the area. Do not ask who is there and do not go find the source of the noise.


8) Ooooh what's that? We don't know, and you don't want to know. Do not touch it, in fact run in the opposite direction.


9) Feeling mucky? Deal with it. If you climb into a shower with a madman on the loose then frankly, you deserve your fate.


10) Wear sensible shoes. You're going to fall over. A LOT. Running in stilettos will just make you an easier target. Even if you're running across a completely flat surface, you will trip, the killer will be ambling towards you and you will be screwed.


11) Are you an oddball? Or a loner? give yourself a pat on the back, you're going to survive.


12) Are you a bully? Ridiculously popular? Congratulations you've killed yourself off before the film's even started.


13) Remember how you never go anywhere without your phone? Hang it around your neck if you have to, just keep it with you. Make sure it's charged and ring the police, not your parents, not your boyfriend. The police.


14) Has the killer infiltrated your house? Then leave. Don't run upstairs and lock yourself in your bedroom. You will almost certainly die. You are not Sidney (scream) so just run for it.


15) If you have a gun, check the safety now. Later will be too late.


16) Keep your knives in a drawer, not in a knife block. Take the biggest one you have with you.


17) Home alone for the night? Babysitting? Check that EVERY door and window is locked. In fact, check all the wardrobes, cupboards and showers before the parents leave.


18) After you've checked all the wardrobes, cupboards and showers for a killer, DO NOT use them as a hiding spot. Chances are that the first places you look for a killer are also the first places they will look for their victims.


19) Have you found a good hiding place? Then shut your mouth, literally. The smallest whimper will give away your location.


20) Phew! You escaped the killer. Run and find a car to escape in. Bear in mind that any of these will happen: 1) There is no petrol (gas). 2) You will drop the keys in a puddle of mud. 3) The killer will predict which car you'll be taking so check the backseat. 4) No matter how fast you run or how far you drive, the killer will catch up (with his slow amble) and probably appear in front of the car.


21) Pay attention to your background music. This will tell you when you're about to die. In fact, listen out for some ominous music, a lot of killers have their own theme tune.


22) Have a boy/girlfriend? Not for long. They either die, making you a nervous wreck who will be killed next OR I'm sorry to break this to you but, they're the psychopath.


23) Does your maniac talk endlessly? Then he's the easiest to kill. Killers who remain silent for the entire film will not die, a lá Michael Myers.


24) Think you've killed the monster? Do not feel for a pulse, listen for breath or celebrate. They're not dead. Smash them in the face a few more times, run them over some more or slice the head off.


25) Hopefully you've survived your encounter with a madman! Be prepared for a good few sequels, for the killer to have siblings wanting to avenge their death, for the killer to come back with superhuman powers. In fact, just accept that you'll never be rid of the psycho.


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Hope you enjoyed the list! Have you got any tips or rules? Post them in the comments and I'll add them in!

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