No One Mentioned The Elephant In The Room, But The Zebra Was A Big Topic Of Discussion

For years now I have been the purchaser of much of the art that graces the walls of my brother's home.

I have bought large scale paintings for their living room and bedroom, elaborate oversized mirrors (one round, one square) that command attention, candlestick holders the size of a teenager's leg, an old style clock for the mantle, a three foot tall urn that looks like it was unearthed in Pompeii, and even a trio of black and white photographs that I took myself. My brother's house is big - with vaulted ceilings and cavernous rooms - and it needs pieces that will not be dwarfed by their surroundings.

Enter The Zebra.
When I saw this painting in the store, at four feet wide by six feet tall, I was intrigued. It was laying in the rack on its side and all I saw was an abstract of black and white. I couldn't make out what it was. Then Ed helped me turn it upright, and he stood back and said, "It's a zebra."

"What?" I said.

"A zebra."

I asked him to hold it so I could step back to view it. I did and I loved it. Falling more in love with it by the minute. I had big plans for it. I knew exactly where it was going to go, and coupled with my plan to strip and re-paint their dining room set, it was going to to be fabulous.

My brother usually likes everything I buy, but I knew he was going to be on the fence with this one. Or even just flat out on the other side of the fence, in the land of dislike. I was thinking that might be the case. Because of that very thought, I bought a second piece of art as my Plan B.

I did everything I could to convince him to love the zebra. I had Ed hold it up in all the places I thought it would look great. I extolled the virtues of the simple black and white color palette. How it would accent any room. How it was sort of an abstract zebra. I even held it sideways, in the position I originially saw it in, giving him a different take on it. Who says it can't hang sideways?? At one point I thought I had him. He was quiet for a long time, pausing as if to say he was now beginning to see what I saw. That he could make it work. But when he opened his mouth, he just said "Uh....no." I had to give him the Plan B gift.

He liked the Plan B gift, but wasn't completely thrilled with it because I had gotten him something similar a few years ago. I remembered the item he spoke of, just as I had when I was in the store, but I got it anyway. It was different. Dramatic. Eye-catching. But he didn't think he could figure out a place to put it where it wouldn't cause someone to do a double-take and say, "Heyyyy, isn't that just like the..."

So now I have two items to return this week. And rather than buying him something else that he might not love, I decided just to give him the amount we agreed to spend.

In one dollar bills.


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1 YEAR AGO: White Chocolate Melts Away
2 YEARS AGO: An Appetizer With Heart
3 YEARS AGO: Angelic Eddie Friday
4 YEARS AGO: Would You Like A Fried Egg With A Side Of Influenza?
5 YEARS AGO: Cerrado
6 YEARS AGO: The Best Gift Of All