AND THEN

 Most of us are born into families who love us---care for us---provide our needs---keep us warm---watch over us.  It is the best of worlds wrapped in a cocoon of love  

AND THEN

We begin to grow to become more independent and grow strong as we inch our way into the world.  We discover friends---those who are our buddies on the play ground--those who giggle and laugh with us---those who teach us how to "play nice"---those who love us without being family

AND THEN

We discover the opposite sex can be more than our playmates on the playground---we get butterflies in our stomachs in the presence of a special someone---we hold the hand of another and discover the warmth of those first glimmers of a special love---we learn the thrill of romance and the heartbreak of break-ups---we begin to slowly transition into the pre-adult world where we remain camped until we are officially launched

AND THEN

We are in the midst of preparation for independence---college degrees or career training---we make friends some of which will be life long friendships---we meet that special someone who seems to complete us---we learn to love another in an entirely different way---and often we commit our lives to live happily ever after

AND THEN

We then took two and made one and then  begin to add others who are a combination of the two---we learn the truest sense of selflessness--we learn to love without a thought for personal needs and wants---we learn to always put others first---we learn how to be a family--we continue the cycle of life with a family of our own

AND THEN

We watch all of the same as we have learned and lived unfold before us with our own---we experience their highs and lows--the pains of adulting---and the final goal of launching them into the word---all the while still loving them-worrying about them-and loving them deeply--completely

AND THEN

We then see  the next generation begin---we learn the true extent of how deeply we can love when we first hold our grandchildren in our arms---love without requirement---love for the joy of it---love without effort---we cannot get enough of it

AND THEN

We learn the love we have experienced---the deep-true love beyond ourselves--the love which will never leave us---seems to complete us---is our life breath---the love which seems endless, timeless, complete and perfect---is only a glimpse of the depth of The Father's love for us.

"But God, being rich in mercy,

because of the intense love which He bestowed on us,

caused us,

 death though we were through our offences,

to live with Christ"

Ephesians  2:4-5

THREE LITTLE WORDS

 Growing up those words, "I love you," were reserved for only private moments and rarely spoken.  Because I had not heard them at home, I did not realize the power those three little words carry.   During the period I grew up and with stoics on both sides of my family--it is understandable that the freedom to utter those words was a long time coming.  It was deemed that we should understand we were loved by the actions of our loved ones.  All they did for us, was a declaration of love we should intuitively understand. 

In a recent sermon, the teacher spoke of the daily need to verbally assure his wife and children of his love for them.  He laughingly declared he thought getting married was a one and done in the need for love declarations.  His wife taught him the lesson of the need for reassurance day in - day out---on the days of joy and in the depths of despair or anger---we have a need for love to be affirmed.  Perhaps man's greatest need---is the need to understand He is loved.

God's love is another dimension of love.  A love far greater than our stunted heart can understand.  Read the Love Letter----His love has no bounds---all we have to do is consider what He has done for us to ensure our eternal relationship with Him.  He loves us--has a good plan for us--and even in our moments of failure---He shows us His grace and love.  God tells us He loves us by His acts of grace, His gifts of provision, and the wonderous creation He placed all around us.  God's love- is verbalized in the song of the breeze, the babble of the brook, the call of the birds, the beauty of the flora, and the change of the season to name a few.  God shouts His love for us---in the community He gives us--the love of our family--and the warmth of a hug.

What happens when we utter those words, "I love you"?  We are reminding another of the depth of our feelings for them.  We are stating what should be obvious in our actions, yet the verbal reassurance reminds us ---we are loved.  Man was created with an emotional need to be loved.  There is one other thing which happens when we tell someone, "I love you.", we are reminding ourselves of the responsibility--the commitment--the choice we have made to love them.  Love is not to be taken lightly---it comes with a sacrifice and not just a sacrifice of a few idly tossed out words.  Love is truly displayed by our actions.  One of those actions---perhaps one of the more important is our willingness to declare--remind--restate--to our loved one and ourselves the depth of our feelings.  Feelings which are modeled by The Author of Love---the one who loves us all best.  

"We love,

because He first loved us."

I John 4:19

COMMONALITY

 I have spoken many times over the years of the group I ran with for decades.  Sadly, my "parts" do not allow me to run anymore---I REALLY miss those days.  I am still vertical, but walking these days.  With the march of time and changing circumstance, our group has drifted apart.  Nothing more than life happened to create this chasm between us.  I have wonderful fond memories of all those miles together as we raised families and solved the world's problems along the way.

I sometimes feel a huge gap between my generation and  the generation of my children, much less my grandchildren.  We have different aspirations, different likes and dislikes, and different ways of looking at life.  Why it even shows up in church with the pronounced variance of styles of worship.  Many churches have a traditional and a contemporary service to satisfy the factions.  I find I have turned into a hybrid of my mother when it comes to dress. (Dress like an old lady)   The one big difference is I always seek comfort over style.  I look at how the younger generations dress and groan with discomfort.

This past weekend,  we had our annual "Hello Kitty Walk" in memory of a sweet daughter of the group whom we  lost ten years ago.  That day and the days to follow are forever seared into my mind.  Every year Anna-Claire's mother and daddy sponsor our walk and the generations are all drawn together in common remembrance of the sweet girl we lost.  The friends of her parents  and her friends all gather to remember and raise money for a worthy cause.  This year the collection will be sent to the World Central Kitchen to help feed the Ukrainian refuges.  Every year we all draw together and slowly walk and talk ~ catching up and remembering.  Our shared grief is the common denominator of those gathered and that grief has slowly morphed into sweet memories of our common love which comforts us all.  She was a jewel and would love to see us all together laughing, talking & remembering.  The generation gap has been closed by shared love for one special young woman-a commonality.   AND the really wonderful news-- 

"Love never ends"

I Corinthians 13:8 *ESV

If you step back from yourself, you will realize we have much in common in this diverse world.  Our love for others is the all powerful magnet that draws us together.  I am thankful for the brief but inspiring life of this beautiful daughter which draws us all together as a reminder of  our commonality.  

"Put ME like a seal over your heart,

Like a seal on your arm.

For love is as strong as death."

Song of Solomon 8:6

WHO AM I?

While preparing to lead the discussion for reading group on this book,

 

I began to soul search over who I am.    Most of us come to believe the identity others give us as truth.  How others speak to us, react to us, look upon us, speak of us, and on and on becomes the identity we assume.  The hermit in this book did not look in a mirror at his own reflection for 27 years. He was not in human contact--spoke not a word to another human for almost three decades.  Interesting.  If we had no idea what we looked like, if there was no one around to reflect our image by their words and actions, would we have a different perception of who we really are?  The influence we allow the world and those in our wake plays a huge role in the image we assume of ourselves.  

As a student of mankind, one of the things I have noticed is the demeanor of those who were positively affirmed at every turn, especially during those formative years, when it comes to self image.  I laughingly say, "They are full of themselves".  Personally I could do with a little of that self assurance.  We allow the world to have great power in our lives.  We believe the word of others over the Word of God and that is mind altering.  

Who are you going to decide to believe---God Almighty---our creator or someone with faulty judgement and feet of clay-just like us?  The Word is filled with evidence of God's thoughts on us.  He loves us beyond reason, we are His beloved, we are created in His image, He provided a way out when we did not deserve one, He gives us chance after chance, He faithfully pursues us.  And yet, we somehow believe what we perceive the world is saying about us. 

As I read this book, I decided our quiet time is the most important part of our day.  Those times when it is God and us ONLY.  How else will we truly know who we are?  If we spend all of our time in the world and forego time alone with God we are allowing the influence of the world to rule supreme in us.  Even Jesus sought that time to be alone with His Father.  Surely His example is worthy of us trying?  God wants to speak into our lives---give Him a chance--stop and listen.

THE GIFT OF LOVE

 It's that wonderful time of the year when we all go into a frenzy of gift buying for those we love.  True confession---I have not bought the first gift.  Will start  soon and in all truthfulness I only buy gifts for the littles. (I wrote this two weeks ago--so do not think I am desperate)    I give donations in honor of my loved ones instead of giving them gifts---we all have FAR too much already.  So I pick a charity or organization that I know is dear to them and send a donation in their honor.  

Why in the world do we give all these gifts and how did it get to be such a big deal?  Until we lost my dad, Christmas was a big deal at our house.  He was the biggest kid ever and we always got the latest toys.  I strongly suspect it was what he wanted to play with and for me--what my mother deemed appropriate.  I am scarred from only receiving one doll--one Christmas.  NO WONDER I am such a tomboy.  Giving gifts is our meager effort to show our love.  Proving our love by giving a gift is an impossible task.  It is NOT the gifts that prove our love.

A perfect example of this is the very first Christmas gifts that were given to the new born babe.  OH, some make such a big deal of the expensive gifts the Magi left for the little baby.  As I thought over those gifts this week, something profound occurred to me ~ the Magi were rich kings from the East---they could well afford to give what seemed like over the top gifts.  It was like pulling a golden egg out of the stock pile you have saved in your Golden Goose nest.  They would never miss it.  NO--those gifts were certainly wonderful, but the Magi gave something far more important--they gave their time, which we have a limited quantity,  to search for the promised Messiah.  They rode on the backs of camels for a LONG time (your rear would be screaming) to find and worship that king.  The gifts they left were more on the order of a hostess gift---thanking the host/hostess for the joy of the visit.  They left a token of their esteem after traveling for many weeks--following a star--looking for the babe.  They worshipped the new born king after seeking Him.

When you are thinking over gifts for your loved one this year, keep this in mind.  We show our love in the most important way--not through gifts-but by our presence---really being present.  All the rest is nice, but no real proof of our love.  Please do not shoot the messenger---stop and think it over.

SAME KIND OF DIFFERENT

 Our neighborhood book club is reading this

which you can find HERE, if you have not read it.  An easy read about the program during the depression called "Packhorse Librarians" which provided reading material for the impoverished Appalachian Mountain area.  This program was begun by President Roosevelt under the WPA umbrella in an effort to provide jobs and supply reading materials to the rural uneducated.  Having just finished re-reading the book, I came away with a new perspective on all it encompasses.  The story is NOT just about trying to educate those who are living far away from opportunities for education.  This story has so many facets in one fact based fiction book, that I cannot begin to go over them all in one short blog.  Today I will take one of the main points the book is making and leave the rest for another discussion.

The story may revolve around the packhorse (or mule in this case) librarians, but the real story centers on man's prejudice toward his fellow man.  The librarian was part of the "blue people" found in the mountains.   This color was caused by a genetic condition which caused a deficiency of an enzyme in their blood which helped with the blood oxygenation.   Even when confronted with there being no real difference in the librarian and her fellow man--the color difference  could be corrected~ her "difference" was not forgotten.  The librarian took the medication, which caused severe side effects, in the hope of being recognized as being white.  Sadly because she had once been different, no one was willing to admit she might be the same as them.  She was forever marked by "difference", even when it was not longer there.

Man's inhumanity to man in a world where we need above all else to love one another is limitless.

How quickly we focus on our differences instead of recognizing our similarities.  Perhaps it comes from fear, perhaps it comes from lessons throughout our life, but for some reason we focus on how different we are from each other instead of the overwhelming number of similarities.  The basic need to be loved, love of our children, hope for a better tomorrow, grief in the midst of loss, and on and on bind us together.  And yet, we are drawn to that which make us different--whatever that might be.

Praying we can all begin to look at one another through the lens of Jesus.  What would He say about those who are "different"?  It seems to indicate in The Word, he gravitated toward them.  He reached out to form relationships with the very ones others avoided at all cost.  He recognized they had needs just like the Jewish people from which He came.  They needed Him just as much as God's Promised People did.  Jesus loved those who were different with the same intensity as those  who were part of "His Tribe".  Praying I can do the same.

"May the God of endurance and encouragement

grant you to live in such harmony with one another,

in accord with Christ Jesus,

that together you may with one voice 

glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

Romans 15:5-6

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FAR FROM PERFECT

How much many of us miss this dear man.  One of my favorite Dr. Dale stories centered around perfection.  He loved to remind us all as he sat beside his wife, Helen, that he was NEXT TO PERFECT.  Dr. Dale has been gone a long time (in some ways a blink of an eye), but I still remember so many things he said.  Truly a wise man.

 Here is a fact you will find interesting.  None of my family follow my blog.  WHAT does that say about me?  One thing is for certain, I am---

I recently asked my daughter why she did not read my musings. (Except for the fact that she has four children 12 and under).  She laughed and said, "Oh, Mom, you know that scripture about a prophet has no honor."  I am not too sure about the prophet thing, except I have plenty of words to say.   Here is the 

They know me too well.  They know just how far from perfect I really am.  Having seen me in not just the good, but most assuredly the bad and the ugly, it calls into question, just who do I think I am?.  Why would anyone who knows me, warts and all, listen to a thing I have to say?  Many of those who know me best do not read what I have to say.  Perhaps they think they have heard it all before.

Unlike my friend Dale who was next to perfect--I am FAR from perfect as many would love to tell you.  Who am I to be giving anyone advice or wisdom?  

No, my loved ones do not read my opining, but there is never any doubt in my mind that they love me.  I am not going to spend a great deal of time or energy fretting about that which I cannot change.  My mother and I had a really strange relationship.  It has taken me years to figure out the why's and how's of why we related as we did.  I am certain she never spent any time thinking about that, and perhaps I am following her example by not examining closer my relationship with my own children.  Perhaps the fact I love them unconditionally keeps me from going there.  Those who are closest to us know our greatest faults and weaknesses and yet they love us.  They might not always agree with us, but they love us.  Yes, I am

The reason we are able to love those who are far from perfect is because we are following the example of the One who loved us perfectly even though we fell far short of His hopes and desires for us.  The perfection He desired for us, we cast aside in the Great Fall in the Garden.  So now we are far from perfect, but perfectly loved.  What a Beautiful Savior we have.

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly,

since love covers a multitude of sins."

I Peter 4:8

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IT'S A CHOICE

With age comes the wisdom that love is a verb and a choice that you make each and every day.  Love is not infatuation--attraction that hormones produce.  It is not about the temporal--worldly--flesh centered media driven concept of love.  In all truth --love--is what God is trying to show us and teach us.  His relationship with us is the master key to what love is.  He is the master architect--creator of love and His master design for the perfect love ---He desires for us to look at --learn from --and emulate  as we love Him and those He places in our lives.

Bottom line is that we ALL are unlovable at some point.  THAT is when the conscious decision is not just necessary--but absolutely vital.  Even the "Beautiful People" can be not only less than attractive, but down right repulsive.  The Father shows us how to love those that are less than attractive, those with bad habits, those that are repulsive--He loves them all and us--warts, stink, sloth, and sin--He loves us--beyond our wildest dreams--by choice.  He created us in His image--with the intent to love us--KNOWING we would fail Him---Yet HE Loves Us---because it would be contrary to His character to not love us.

The One whose very character is love--created us---in HIS image---SO we are created in the image of love.  We are a created being --made in His image--AND therefore we should reflect His character of love.  What happens?  Why don't we look like Him--Why is it difficult for us to love as He does?  We place ourselves on the throne--replacing Him--putting our wants and desires before His good plan for us--His model of what love is---

And then--we have made a choice--but that choice has nothing to do with the Godly love He desires for us--it instead becomes a sad reflection of the world and all that is broken in it.  I pray everyday--"Help me make the choice to love as You love me."

"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them."

I John 4:16

BIRDS OF A FEATHER---OR A BIRD'S EYE VIEW

Why Berdie---fancy seeing you here!  WHO IN THE WORLD IS THIS WHIPPER SNAPPER ON OUR RAIL?  Can't he see the sign??

OFF OFF SCAT, You Little Vagabond---AWAY PRIVATE TERRITORY--CAN'T YOU READ!!!  Guess I told him, Bucketbill!  The next thing you know he will be redecorating the wood on our railing!  Thinks he's too cute for words!

We have him surrounded---NOW---wait for my signal and Bucketbill, you swoop in and pull those baggy pants down and Berdie, you pinch those love hands, and I will steal the catch when he throws his hands up and screams like a girl.  WAIT FOR MY SIGNAL!

JUST A MINUTE--WHO DIED AND MADE YOU THE COCK OF THE WALK, Featherhead?  WHY would we trust you, for one minute?  We all know how fast you are at the old bait and cut!  I don't believe for one second that you are going to share in the bounty!

I wouldn't trust you to the end of my bill!  
JUST WHAT ARE YOU INSINUATING???

Berdie, who is this chuckle head cutting in on our game?

Just tuck your bill under your wing and ignore her, Bucketbill---SURELY she will get the hint!

THE HUMANS DO NOT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING---WATCH THIS---I WILL GET RID OF THEM!

Today I am thankful for the joy of laughter and silliness.

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love."

Ephesians 4:2

MAKING CHOICES

I am going to give you a bit of Lora's wisdom today---wisdom gained from all these years of living--

LOVE IS A CHOICE THAT YOU MAKE EVERYDAY

The love I speak of is not the infatuation of the first bloom of love-when all you can think of is the other person---and your desire for them clouds every sane thought.  No the love I speak of is what you must learn when you finally notice-

They are not quite as cute early in the morning

They smell bad at times

They leave their sweaty clothes in a wet heap for you to pick up

They smack when they eat

They snore like a freight train

They yell at the television

Their rituals are all consuming

They are never ready on time

Fill in the blanks with whatever annoys you to the point of screaming. Perhaps I might even have a select few annoying habits!   Let's face it--we all can annoy the stew out of each other.  If you do not realize that in the early days of a relationship--hang on--you will be driven to the edge of reason--it is just a matter of time.

THAT is when you begin to learn what love really is--love is an active choice we make EVERYDAY--to cherish the good and ignore the trying---to remember the special times and put the bad behind---to look for the positive and ignore the negative.  It is a choice we make each and every day and it is WORK!  To have a good relationship--you must work at it--you must leave your own selfish desires behind and think of the other first.  You have to remember what drew you to begin with and look past what repels you now.

You HAVE to work on it--both of you---or it is just not going to work---MAKE THE CHOICE everyday when you begin to awaken to the new day--the choice of love.

"And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

Colossians 3:14

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c