WHAT IS YOUR STATUS?

I had a sweet young friend contact me recently about the pain of being told she was single for insurance purposes.  It was a blunt slap to her face to find after marriage and a child borne from that union that the world now considers her single.  Her words, "My throat got a lump," resonated clear and true.  I well remember the first time I had to answer "Divorced" when asked the question of my martial status.  You could have taken a dagger and plunged it into my heart and it would have been less painful.  It is one thing to know it in your head--it is a totally different thing to speak it out loud.

We ALL seem to depend upon our status in this world filled with status seekers. When we loose part of our status--through whatever means--we have to go back to square one and try to figure out just whom we are again.  After years of being a couple, you are forced to live with the amputation of what once made you whole-another person.  The division of the body of two-leaves one with holes in your identity and the altered status of how the world looks at you.  

 There is a caste systems among status---and single seems to be the lower in the world filled with joints.  Look around you and see how even the business world puts added burdens on single.  The tax code and social security laws are written to reward those that are joint.  Take a trip---the rooms are booked double occupancy.  Go and eat alone and see where they seat you.  Insurance rates are higher if you are single.  The list goes on and on. 

Tax rate	Single filers	Married filing jointly or qualifying widow/widower	Married filing separately	Head of household
10%	Up to $8,700	Up to $17,400	Up to $8,700	Up to $12,400
15%	$8,701 - $35,350	$17,401 - $70,700	$8,701- $35,350	$12,401 - $47,350
25%	$35,351 - $85,650	$70,701 - $142,700	$35,351 - $71,350	$47,351 - $122,300
28%	$85,651 - $178,650	$142,701 - $217,450	$71,351 - $108,725	$122,301 - $198,050
33%	$178,651 - $388,350	$217,451 - $388,350	$108,726 - $194,175	$198,051 - $388,350
35%	$388,351 or more	$388,351 or more	$194,176 or more	$388,351 or more

I am re-reading a WONDERFUL book--an allegory--Hinds Feet On High Places--that I read years ago.  I am so thankful that a friend reminded me of it and caused me to search it out---after reading the forward I KNEW that God was using her to point the book out to me.  It is a beautiful lyrical tale of "Much Afraid" who is from the Valley of Humiliation and a member of the Family of Fearings.  Told in similar fashion as the genius of C.S. Lewis and John Bunyon-Hannah Hurnard weaves a beautiful tale that reminded me of my true status:

I am not single-

I am HIS Beloved.

As I finished One Thousand Gifts recently, I marveled at Ann Voskamp's description of the sweetness of the intimacy of spiritual flesh to spiritual flesh.  There could be nothing more sensual.

Today I count it as joy to be called "His Beloved"

"How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!"

Song of Songs 4:10

LESSONS IN BEING ALONE

I was reading one of the blogs on my sidebar recently and she was posting about how real men love women.  I read the entire post, but then began thinking that is not where I am in this season of life and MOST women will eventually be alone--by some life event--we will be left alone.  Perhaps God is prompting me to post what I have learned about being alone, to share the joys-the trials-the victories-the defeats.  You may be already turning off what I am saying and thinking of the next thing you have to do--but there are some, perhaps many, whose interest is piqued and hearts are open.

There are silly perks in being alone like eating hummus and chips for supper, having ice cream in the middle of the night, watching predictable Hallmark movies, going to bed when the time seems right, going and coming at all hours, reading all night, and on and on.  Why I have even learned to embrace--no make up--dressing comfy--and finally coming to the realization that no one really cares what I am wearing--if I have make up on--of if I am dressed in the latest fashion.  If I am comfortable with myself, more than likely the rest of the world will be also.

As I was thinking about women alone, I went to those that are in the Bible---God has a purpose in putting these examples for us in His Word.  Mary, Martha, Ruth, widow with the mite, --there are some of the women alone in the Bible.  What is my one most important take away from most of them--they are women of God--they are Godly women--daughters of the King--followers of the way.  They are looking to Him for direction in the way to live-alone.

I am working on embracing the season I am in and figuring out how to live in the moment.  It is time to leave my grief behind--face the future--and move forward.  This is not to say there will not be steps back at times, but it is to say my motion is forward --not at a stand still--not backward looking--but toward the light.

Today's lesson was my realization that being alone is not always bad.  As I spoke of in my book, I need time alone to re-energize, process, regroup, refocus--get my act together.  I have always relished some time alone, and it is time to go back and recount why I wanted and needed this time.  The pendulum has swung to the top of the alone side of the arc, but it is up to me to figure out how to get the balance back into my life.  Balance that centers upon becoming the hands and feet of Jesus here on this earth, and learning to look through the eyes of Jesus as well. 

The pendulum swings from alone all the way to a huge community---there is need for both sides of the pendulum--I am prayerfully seeking balance in life as the swinging continues--and looking for the perfect motion from alone to community.  At this moment, I am embracing the alone.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Deuteronomy 31:6 

Paperback Book is here-

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