Written-By-Numbers Drinking Game: Madlib Mystery Shows

It’s been a long time since our previous games, but it’s time for another written-by-the-numbers drinking game!

Yet again we are putting both our drinks cabinets and livers in severe jeopardy, now we’ve properly recovered it’s time to tackle another sobriety busting challenge: Madlib Mystery shows

Those shows which decide to keep us all in the dark as they tell an ever more evolving story without ever answering any questions. Lost, Leftovers, Under the Dome, 12 Monkeys, Alcatraz, Helix, Between, Fringe - and so many others. There are no shortages

While drinking copious amounts of vodka will not help you understand their plot lines, at least you have a legitimate reason for not understanding and it may convince you that shit isn’t just being thrown against a wall.

• Overarching Plot:
• +1 drink per episode where no new information is added to the Main Mystery
• Empty the glass if you reach the end of the first season with no new information
• Empty the bottle if you finish the second season and still have no new information
• Grab another bottle and empty it if you reach the end of the third season and still have no new information
• Open a brewery and proceed to drain it if you go beyond the fourth season and STILL HAVE NO FECKING ANSWERS
• +1 drink per blatant filler episode
• +1 drink per episode where the protagonist makes no effort to find any answer
• +1 drink per inexplicable action a character takes to make the mystery harder to solve
• Empty the damn glass if their action is never explained and they’re not an antagonist
• Refill the glass and empty again if they’re actually the protagonist trying to find answers

• Antagonists:
• + 1 drink if the motives of the antagonists is unknown after 5 episodes
• +1 additional drink for every episode after 5 where the antagonists still seem to be acting at random
• Empty the glass if you reach the end of the first season and still don’t have a clue why the antagonists are doing what they’re doing
• +1 drink if the the motivation is hopelessly vague (power without definition. Or Freedom”
• Empty the glass if the antagonists blatantly HAVE that already (so a super rich organisation that has a global conspiracy looking for power)
• Refill the glass and empty again if they literally couldn’t be antagonists without this quality they already have
• Empty the glass if you reach the midseason finale and still don’t know who the antagonists are
• Refill the glass and empty again if you reach the end of the first season and you’re still referring to the antagonists as “shadowy unknowns”
• +1 drink if you learn the antagonists names and someone has clearly sat down and TRIED to think of a sinister name
• +1 drink if “Shadowy Unknowns” would actually be a better name
• Empty the glass if major figures among the antagonists never get a damn name so you have to refer to them by descriptions all the time
• Empty the damn bottle if these masters of shadowy secrets STILL feel the name to exposition their entire plan and raise d’etre to the protagonist!
• Refill the bottle and empty again if they don’t even reasonably try to kill the protagonist quickly and easily
• + 1 drink if the antagonist is a shadowy secret organisation
• +1 drink per element that is ridiculous for a secret organisation
• +1 drink per huge, expensive, showy base
• +1 drink per celebrity member
• +1-3 drinks per ostentatious displays of wealth
• +1 drink per very public fight scene
• +1 drink per public landmark destroyed
• +1 drink per involvement in an industry that should have heavy government oversight

Marginalised Characters: Banished to the Plot Box

© 2015 Pikawil, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio

One phrase you will see repeated a lot on Fangs for the Fantasy is “the plot box”.

The Plot Box is a mysterious, unknown place where characters (usually minorities) are banished to when the writers decide they no longer know what to do with (or want to deal with) them. These characters disappear, often with little explanation, and are absent from the screen/page until the writers decide to use them again and they just reappear as if nothing happened.

We talk a lot about the Plot Box on Fangs because this is a storytelling tool that is very commonly used, can appear in many different ways and very often serves as another means by which marginalised characters are erased or tokenised.

The most common form of Plot Box Banishment is the simple disappearance. Usually with no explanation - a character will just not be present for several episodes. I’d like to think that they’re having wonderful wild times with the Doctor and he just got the timing wrong - but Doctor Who isn’t that diverse either.

The Originals has one gay character and he spends the majority of his time in the plot box.  Josh is besties with Davina. When he lost his boyfriend Aidan, Josh went away to lick his wounds and everybody including Davina who supposedly cares so much about him promptly forgot that he exists. Josh is allowed out of the plot box only when Davina is in some kind of danger or her fee fees are hurt. He has no real story of his own and the epitome of the GBFF, there to provide service and comfort for his straight “friend” (so often our shows seem to confuse “servitude” with “friendship”)

ABC made a big deal about adding Mulan to the cast of Once Upon a Time. And a while Once Upon A Time was teasing the idea that Mulan would confess her love to Aurora giving the series its first (and only) LGBT character. When Aurora announces her pregnancy, Mulan congratulates her and never reveals her feelings. Mulan then deals with her disappointment by joining the Merry Men and disappearing into the Plot Box - when the Merry Men return, Mulan is conspicuous by her absence. Though I say conspicuous, absolutely no-one noticed: her being lost in the Plot Box was not worthy of comment. Just when,. as an audience we were thinking of starting a missing person’s report Mulan shows up to help Merida to deal with a problem, before promptly leaping back into the Plot Box again.  

Morgan on The Walking Dead is perhaps my personal favorite example of this particular form of banishment. We first meet Morgan and his son Duane in season one, when Rick stumbles upon them after waking up in the hospital alone.  Morgan explains to Rick how society fell apart and gives him rudimentary instructions of how to survive in a zombie apocalypse.

Fangs for the Fantasy Episode 101

This week we discuss the return of the Vampire Diaries and Being Human (US). We also looked at the season finale of Fringe and Haven as well as the struggling American Horror Story which really should have ended last episode

Our book of the week was Grave Memory by Kalayana Price.

Our next books of the week are:

21/1-28/1: Ever After by Kim Harrison

28/1-4/2: Magnificent Devices by Shelly Adina

4/2-11/2: House Rules by Chloe Neil

11/2-18/2: Moonshifted by Cassie Alexander
18/2- 25/2: King Makers by Clay and Susan Griffith

 

Fringe Season Five, Episode 13: An Enemy of Fate

Donald shows his former co observor the trigger that he needs and says that apparently his trigger has lost its charge.  The observer points out that if Donald's plan is successful, they will fail to exist.  Donald believes that if they are not successful, the humans will die.  Apparently, Donald and August lost control when they started feeling emotions.  Donald reminds him that they were not told anything about the mission when it was first assigned. The observer says that for the people of this era that this their destiny and Donald argues back that destiny can be changed, even if it requires sacrifice.  Donald adds that he took a risk coming there because he believes the people of this era deserve to survive

In the van, Walter is yelling at Anya about what he needs. Peter gets a call from Broyles who says he is going to get a few things and then meet up with him.  While Broyles is gone, Windmark has a loyalist going over his car.  They are somehow able to hear the conversation Broyles had with Peter.  Windmark enters Broyles' office and says that he would like a word with him.  Windmark tells Broyles about the security breach and the loss of Michael.  Windmark says that he has heard whispers that the Dove is among them.  Broyles has an excellent poker face and gives absolutely nothing away.  Windmark stands and says he does not want to keep Broyles from his duties before leaving.

When the Fringe team returns to the lab they find Donald.  Olivia wonders why Michael gave himself up and Donald says there was a reason, there always is. Donald says that they are missing an important part and that he has enlisted help from one of his kind but that one of the Fringe team will have to get it.  The plan is still to send Michael forward in time and Astrid asks how Michael will know who the scientists are and Donald says that there will be someone there to guide him.

Broyles calls Olivia to say that he is on his way but he realises that he is being followed.  Broyles tells her that he will drive around but that they don't have much time because when he is captured the observers will read him. Olivia says that they will rescue him but Broyles tells her to focus on the plan and then hangs up.

Peter pulls a syringe out of the amber along with another tape which is addressed to him.  Peter puts in the tape and it is Walter talking about a letter he sent Peter.  Walter is telling Peter that he will never see him again because it had to be this way to secure the future of their humanity.  Walter admits that the syringe is an inoculation for time travel and that he is taking Michael into the future.  Peter asks if it has to be this way and Walter replies that he and the boy will become a paradox and that they will be deleted at the moment of the invasion. Walter tells Peter that he knows that this is what he is supposed to do and that he wants to give Peter his life back.  They both cry and hug each other and Walter says, "you are my favorite thing Peter, my very favorite thing." While all this is happening, Michael is watching closely.

Fringe Season Five, Episode 12: Liberty

At the lab, Astrid is trying to track Michael and Walter is upset that they have no way to communicate with Donald.  Broyles is busy questioning a loyalist about Michael but he is having a hard time getting any information. Eventually, Broyles is told that Michael is a detainee on liberty island.

On liberty island, Michael is strapped to a chair and Windmark enters the room and says that he is intrigued by him, but refers to him as an anomaly. Windmark tells Michael that it is in his best interest to communicate with him.  Windmark asks what the Fringe team wants with him and what his purpose is.  He then asks about September and why he hid him.  The more Windmark tries to use his powers, the more stressed he becomes until blood pours out of his nose.  This astonishes him, but he continues to try and question Michael. A blood vessel then bursts in his left eye. Windmark stands and orders diagnostics to be run on Michael.

Broyles calls Peter and tells him that Michael is being held on Liberty island.  Broyles sends them the schematics and says that there are five layers of security around the complex.  Michael is being kept on the east wing and Walter realises that they are going to experiment on him.  Astrid wonders about breaking into the system to shut down security.  Olivia suggests going through the alternate universe and then grabbing Michael and bring him back. 

The fringe team heads to the basement to look for the Cortexafan to help Olivia cross over.  Peter is worried that giving her a massive dose might stop Olivia's heart, or give her seizures.  Walter admits that those are the risks but promises to do all he can to alleviate it.  Olivia does not believe that there is another way and reminds Peter that Etta died, so they could finish the plan. Peter asks what happens if he loses her too, but Olivia says that she can do this and without Michael they lose everything.  Peter asks what happens when she crosses over because they don't know what happened in the alternate universe.  Astrid suggests that they have a look in the universe window.

Michael is being injected with a paralytic on Liberty Island, as Windmark looks on.  Once again, Windemarks nose starts to bleed.  Windmark asks them to alert him when they have the results and leaves the room.

The team pulls up in a van at Battery Park.  They momentarily stop their activity, when Peter sees a loyalist walking her dog.  When she moves away, Walter pulls a device out of the back of the van.  He and Astrid work together to assemble the window. When they turn it on, they see the other universe, which seems just as they left it.  Olivia says that should call Anil because they are going to need a safe house and medical supplies.

Fangs for the Fantasy Episode 100

This week we discuss Once Upon a Time, Lost Girl, Fringe and American Horror Story

Our book of the week is The Awakening by L.J. Smith

Our next few books of the week are:

14/1-21/1: Grave Memory by Kalayna Price

21/1-28/1: Ever After by Kim Harrison

28/1-4/2: Magnificent Devices by Shelly Adina

4/2-11/2: Moonshifted by Cassie Alexander
11/2-18/2: King Makers by Griffiths