What do they know of Brit-pop, who only Britpop know?

Radio X - the radio station that used to be known as XFM - has polled its listeners to find the best song ever.

We wish they hadn't:

"Wonderwall" is the best British song of all time; at least, so say the listeners of Radio X.

More than 50,000 votes were cast for the music station's inaugural Best of British poll (via RadioToday); which saw Oasis utterly dominate the results, occupying all four of the top positions. "Don't Look Back in Anger" came in at number two, "Champagne Supernova" at three, and "Live Forever" at four.

Normally, this sort of thing pukes up a list of Beatles titles so I suppose there's some sort of progress that we've moved on to people pretending to be the Beatles.

Here's the full chart:

1. "Wonderwall", Oasis
2. "Don’t Look Back In Anger", Oasis
3. "Champagne Supernova", Oasis
4. "Live Forever", Oasis
5. "I Am The Resurrection", The Stone Roses
6. "I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor", Arctic Monkeys
7. "Heroes", David Bowie
8. "Life On Mars?", David Bowie
9. "Bittersweet Symphony", The Verve
10. "Gimme Shelter", The Rolling Stones
11. "One Day Like This", Elbow
12. "Bohemian Rhapsody", Queen
13. "Hey Jude", The Beatles
14. "Common People", Pulp
15. "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out", The Smiths
16. "Slide Away", Oasis
17. "Fool’s Gold", The Stone Roses
18. "How Soon Is Now", The Smiths
19. "A Day In The Life", The Beatles
20. "Love Will Tear Us Apart", Joy Division

Hang on; don't sob yet. There's worse to come:

The poll also revealed how its presenters voted; DJ Chris Moyles plumping for Coldplay's "Viva La Vida", while Vernon Kay backed The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK"

Vernon Kay. Anarchy In The UK. Obviously, this does make sense - The Sex Pistols and Vernon Kay are both about as threatening to the status quo as each other. But you know that Vernon and his agent probably had a ten minute conversation before deciding to go with such an edgy option.

Depressing news for queer youth

Or, equally possibly, depressing news about queer youth. Stonewall had an online poll to pick GLBT youth's best role model.

Will Young won.

And Joe McEdderly got 10% of the poll.

Between them, that's over two thirds of the vote.

Two men who took a decision to hide their sexuality lest it harm their chances on a game show, and who carried on hiding until forced out by the tabloids.

Even more depressingly, Stonewall are using their results as a reason to cheer, rather than putting their head in their hands and crying:

Stonewall Chief Executive Ben Summerskill said: "Young people involved with Stonewall tell us that role models help them overcome the homophobic bullying that’s rife in Britain’s schools. Pop culture is hugely influential to young people so it’s encouraging to see more openly lesbian, gay and bisexual British pop stars.

"Joe McElderry is already recognised as a role model so the scene is now set for him to become every bit as popular with young gay people as Will Young."

Stonewall, you don't think that their message - hide it as long as you can, because being gay will really hold you back; wait until you've got no choice and then do a deal with the people who are forcing you out - isn't one you should be celebrating?

I'm picturing a thousand provincial bedrooms, with teens looking a photos of Will Young, thinking "if I can hide it for a while longer..."

Stonewall should seriously think about giving up if they think this is a reason to celebrate.

Gordon in the morning: When parents split

Apparently not realising that nearly everybody is Switzerland on this one, Gordon Smart asks us to pick sides in the Oasis split. Yes, it's time to decide...

... whoses side are you on? (Shouldn't that be "whomsese's side?")

It's not quite clear why we'd be choosing sides - I really hope there's not going to be a final conflict, with one side in cheap parkas and the other in overpriced Pretty Green leisurewear slacks - but Gordon seems to think we'll want to:

I WANT to know who YOU are backing in the Oasis break-up?

Backing to do what?

Are you in TEAM NOEL at this horrible time?

Horrible time? Admittedly, this article is pretty terrible, and the concept of the poll is a bit queasy, but I'm sure it'll be over soon, Gordon.

He is the chief songwriter and the brains behind their success.

Ah, yes. The master of selling old rope.

He's also a very funny man with a quip ready on any subject at any time.

It's a pity there's never been any evidence of this in public, with the wider world just seeing a man whose idea of wit is to say the first thing that arrives in his head, but shoutily. "I hope Alex James and Damon Albarn catch AIDS and die". That would be trademark wit.

He's the elder statesman of rock.

That might come as a surprise to anyone who was making rock in the 60s or 70s. Perhaps "the party chairman of Beatles cover bands"?

Vote Noel if you think Liam is to blame for the split.

Eh? Wasn't the vote to say who you were "backing" somehow, rather than voting for the person who isn't to blame for the split.

Is it the frontman's anger that has driven the pair apart? Should he have learned by now to keep a lid on it?

Hmm. Well, given that all your stories, Gordon, say Liam and Noel had a massive row because Liam was being a cock, that would seem to be a question which doesn't seem to have anything other a rhetorical aspect to it.

Oh, hang on... by "frontman", you appear to mean Noel. But isn't Liam the frontman, doing all the singing and all?

Or are you in TEAM LIAM? After all, the younger Gallagher is the voice and attitude behind Oasis.

There's been a voice behind Oasis? Like ventriloquism, you mean? Or have you dropped an "of" in that sentence?

Still, you're right - belligerent, fighting, wrong-headed, perpetually wounded and carrying self-belief without a bag to put it in - it's not like Noel could have done that on his own, is it?

The band would never have had such a massive live following without his on-stage persona.

Psst... I think Gordon had got this far through and realised that, effectively, since Noel could bore for England on his own, and the quality of singing isn't that important, Liam's biggest contribution to Oasis was balancing out the load on the private jets, and so he's desperately trying to find something to make him irreplaceable in the set-up.

Liam is one of the greatest frontmen of all time. You can't take your eyes off him when he's on form.

Shouldn't, rather than can't. In case he throws an ashtray at you.

Maybe you think Noel is just too old for rock 'n' roll.

So the vote now is who is the least-old member of Oasis? But wasn't being an elder statesman a good thing to be?

Vote Liam if you think he's keeping the rock flame alive.

So it's not a vote on who you're backing, or who you think is the one who is the one who wasn't the one responsible for the split, or the one you think is least likely to be over 40, but a poll on "who is keeping the rock flame alive", whatever that actually means? (Given the band have just cancelled a load of gigs, neither of them seem to be keeping anything alive, do they?)

Who played the bigger part in Oasis - Noel or Liam? You decide by voting, below.

Ah, so it's a poll on who was more important in the band, then. Not who keeps flames alives, is younger, isn't to blame, or who you're supporting in the split?

It is important, though, as the results will be verified by the Electoral Commission, and the winner offered a seat in David Cameron's first cabinet as "minister of what the young people like as far as we can tell".

Festive Fifty 2008

Voting has opened on Dandelion Radio for the 2008 Festive Fifty. It's your votes that count.

Gordon in the morning: Journalism

We're sure that - once his hands were both free - Gordon Smart punched the air as he took delivery of topless pictures of Lily Allen. He even created a new euphemism for the occasion:

Lily got something off her chest and peeled off her shirt to reveal a couple of chart-toppers.

Meanwhile, Gordon has been carrying out a poll. An online poll. He publishes the results without any warning that the respondents were self-selecting and, therefore, not scientifially accurate. But it might not matter:

2 out of 3 men fancy Posh Vic

He has done a pie chart, though.

Festive Fifty 2007

The good people over at Dandelion Records are running a 2007 Festive Fifty, along the same rules as John Peel's annual poll - although whether they'll actually be printing the poll forms out and entering the details in a large ledger as they come in isn't clear. You've got until the end of November to choose your three tracks.

25 best albums untainted by the RIAA

We're not entirely sure if Berkeley Square haven't painted themselves into a corner with the rules for their Top 25 Indie albums of all time - fair enough, they're only allowing records which are currently not being released by companies which are members of the RIAA to join in (and they want your suggestions). But this cuts out Joy Division, Sonic Youth and a large slew of other now-big names whose back catalogues have been hoovered up by majors are ruled illegible, which seems a bit of a problem for determining the best indie albums of all time. Still, why not toss your vote into the hat and we can see where we all end up?