One Direction; two viewpoints

How "journalism" works.

Daily Star, first edition:

It's disgusting! Harry posting pictures of his cock (albeit in pants) to the internet! We're outraged on the public's behalf at Harry's behaviour!

Daily Star, final edition:

It's disgusting! Someone pretending to be Harry posting pictures of his cock (albeit in pants) to the internet! We're outraged on Harry's behalf!

(Side true story: Shortly after I took the second picture in Tesco, I rounded a corner to hear a girl complaining to her mother that there were no One Direction lunchboxes on display. She was looking for a sandwich box.)

Bees! Bees! Millions of bees!

According to Julien Temple, Mick Jagger apparently once covered his penis in bees. The idea being, apparently, that they'd sting it and make it bigger.

Well, of course they would. It's hard to see why he would be surprised by that.

Temple suggests it was an early viagara-like idea:

“It involved putting bamboo over the male member and filling it with stinger bees so the member attained the size of the bamboo. Mick spent months in the jungle in Peru. He was going mad out there I think.”

While it might be bigger, surely a stung cock would also be painfully unusable?

Last week, Janice Dickinson had been telling all and sundry that Mick's bits, with or without the aid of bees, aren't up to much:

Mick has been ridiculed by old flame Janice Dickinson, 52, who told interviewer Jonathan Ross last week that Mick “has a very small penis”.

But, to be fair, Janice Dickinson would make anyone shrink a little.

We're by no means experts on Enrique Inglesias' cock...

... but hasn't he done the "I have a small penis" schtick before?:

“I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.”

Enrique also revealed he has no plans to wed Anna [Kournikova], 25, as “it wouldn’t make a difference”.

Enrique, if it never makes it any bigger, you might need to think about moving on entirely.

Iggy: my knob is in the Constitution, or something

Most men react badly when accused of thinking with, about, for (and sometimes through) their penises. Not so Iggy Pop:

“You write about things of importance to you. And it’s gotta be for real. Do I think about my dick? All the time. I gotta a right to sing about it.”

“If I thought ‘It’s time to write a rock song, I’d better mention my dick,’ then I wouldn’t be able to say dick right. But it’s nature orientated.”

We're not quite sure it's "nature-orientated" in the sense Bill Oddie would use, although we do like the idea of him and Kate Humble hiding in the bushes hoping to catch sight of the first emergence of Iggy Pop's manhood.

That's just scary

We know it'll be down to the mention on Popjustice, but really, the number of people stumbling onto No Rock through Google searches for "Lynne Perrie" and "cock", "porn" and so on is rather disturbing. Course, it's not the first time that Ivy Tilsley's alter ego has got herself in trouble for having something fleshy poking through her face, is it?