On the cover of Rolling Stone

This is the cover of the new Rolling Stone - it's quite controversial:

Yes, to the shock of America, Rolling Stone are running a cover that isn't of a topless female celebrity holding a hat over her tits. Americans are struggling to understand this deviation from house sty...

Oh, hang on. Apparently that isn't the problem. Thinkprogress' Judd Legum tries to boil down what the problem is here:

New Rolling Stone cover turns the Boston bomber into Jim Morrison. A comparison: pic.twitter.com/UJKhAMJSGO

— Judd Legum (@JuddLegum) July 16, 2013

Oh, yes. It's a head-and-shoulders shot on the cover of the magazine, and they had a head-and-shoulders shot of Jim Morrison about three thousand years ago, so it's clear that what they're trying to do there is turn one into the other.

It couldn't just be that they've put a photo of the subject of their cover story on the, erm, front cover, could it?

The complaints seem to fall into two large clumps, on a sliding scale of ill-informedness.

The first is a suggestion that RS is trying to make Dzhokhar Tsarnaev into some sort of rock star, because they've put him on the cover of a rock magazine, and what else can it mean other than 'Tsarnaev is a rock star'.

The magazine sighs, and tries to explain that while people might think RS is a rock magazine, it really isn't:

The cover story we are publishing this week falls within the traditions of journalism and Rolling Stone’s long-standing commitment to serious and thoughtful coverage of the most important political and cultural issues of our day.

I think that's quite mild, really. After all, Rolling Stone is arguably at its worse when it talk about music, lurching between Tom Waits and Janet Jackson (providing she's got her top off).

It makes you wonder what the complainants think PJ O'Rourke has been filing all these years - do they think he was reviewing Green Day gigs and asking Bonnie Rait about her fitness regime? Do they assume that Hunter S Thompson's main order of business was joining Sting in the studio?

The second group seem at least vaguely aware that the title covers current affairs but, in the style of the 'he's looking like Jim Morrison' observation, that it's wrong to have an accused murderer on the cover, especially when he looks so bloody handsome.

America, it seems, wants its monsters to look like monsters (except the ones out of Monsters Inc). How dare Rolling Stone suggest there might be a more nuanced position; that the man accused of bringing death and misery to so many could look like the sort of boy you'd hope your daughter would take to the prom?

Bizarrely, CVS and a grocery chain have even gone to the lengths of pulling the magazine from their shelves. They happily sold copies of Time with Osama on the front; they stocked and shipped back Newsweeks with Bin Laden covers. I'd love to see CVS explain what policy it is that they're invoking here.

The point being missed in the all the squawking is that the cover is the story - that to his friends, he was just the sort of kid who would make a great prom date:

Someone mentions one of the surveillance videos of Jahar, which shows him impassively watching as people begin to run in response to the blast. "I mean, that's just the face I'd always see chilling, talking, smoking," says Jackson. He wishes­ Jahar had looked panicked. "At least then I'd be able to say, 'OK, something happened.' But . . . nothing."

Rolling Stone has published a thoughtful article about not judging something by the cover. It's a pity a lot of people won't get to read it, because they're so quick to do just that.

Thatcher: Suddenly the Ding Dong row makes sense

Now, finally, the reason for the Ding Dong fuss has become clear, thanks to this BBC News report:

DJ Paul Gambaccini said Sunday's show had become "part of the BBC history of censorship".

In some religions of Northern Europe, the Gambaccini is a mythical creature whose appearance sharing an opinion on the deceased represents the start of that person's journey into the afterlife.

The argument over a song has obviously been crafted to tempt the wise counsel of the Gambaccini from the spirit world.

In related news, it seems that Rob Wilson, Tory MP for Reading East, doesn't know very much about recent history:

However, the Conservative MP for Reading East, Rob Wilson, said the track should be played in its entirety.

He said: "I think that Margaret Thatcher would be horrified having helped free millions of people in eastern Europe and been the symbol of freedom around the world that she could in any way have censorship in her own country."

That's right, Rob. The woman who spent our cash so lavishly trying to stop publication of Spycatcher, and who created the farce where Irish Republican statements had to be rendered like some form of badly-dubbed foreign movie would be horrified at that. Jesus, the woman even tried to redact British Airways plane liveries.

Michelle Shocked tapes mouth, stages protest

Can't help feeling that Michelle Shocked might have done a better job salvaging her image if she'd stuck a bit of duct tape over her mouth before she embarked on the anti-gay rant, rather than outside one of the venues which subsequently canned her.

Shocked is trying to claim that the withdrawal of a platform is akin to being silenced. That would be muddle-headed enough from someone who hadn't lived the life of an activist, but from Shocked is just heartbreakingly crass.

Nobody is silencing you, Michelle. But that doesn't mean that anyone wants to listen to you.

BBC manages to make itself look silly, this time over Palestine

Claims of censorship and pro-Israeli bias are being dumped by the shedload outside Broadcasting House after 1Xtra cut a reference to Palestine in a Mic Righteous freestyle. MediaGuardian reports:

Mic Righteous, who was raised in Margate, was recorded saying: "I can still scream 'Free Palestine' for my pride, still pray for peace, still burn the Fed for the brutality they spread over the world. Pakistan's a[sic] ocean of bodies in the brown water still nobody helps."
[...]
The song was recorded for Charlie Sloth's late night hip-hop show on 4 December, but protests have been mounting since the performance was rebroadcast as part of a "best of" from the show on 30 April.

The Palestine Solidarity Campaign on Wednesday posted a statement on its website urging listeners to write to the BBC and the Radio Times to complain, and to post their views on Sloth's 1Xtra home page.

Describing the edit as an "extraordinary act of censorship", the campaign asked why the BBC did not ban the song "Free Nelson Mandela" when it was released in 1984. At the time, Mandela was still considered a terrorist by many western governments.

Writing letters to Radio Times and muttering that they happily played Free Nelson Mandela when it was out? Is there anyone under 70 at the Palestine Solidarity Campaign? What will they do if this fails to get a reaction - a mass call-up to the Points Of View answerphone?

The BBC, of course, responded with a statement:

Sorry, everyone - yes, this is a bit silly; clearly what's happened her is that in the risk-averse environment at the BBC, someone has decided to err on the side of caution with the end result that a well-meaning attempt to not appear to be endorsing a political position has wound up making us look like we're taking sides. Sorry, we'll try to be a bit more analytical in future.

Sadly, that wasn't their statement. This was:

A BBC spokesperson said a late night music show was not considered an appropriate forum for political controversy.

The corporation explained its decision in a statement: "All BBC programmes have a responsibility to be impartial when dealing with controversial subjects and an edit was made to Mic Righteous' freestyle to ensure that impartiality was maintained."

A late night music show not an appropriate forum for political controversy? Isn't that the best place for airing music that deals with difficult subjects in difficult ways?

Bob Dylan is cross with us for confusing 'pre-approval' with 'censorship'

Funny, while he was in China Bob Dylan was quiet as a mouse; now the gig has happened, he's suddenly found his voice:

"As far as censorship goes, the Chinese government had asked for the names of the songs that I would be playing," Dylan wrote on his website. "There's no logical answer to that, so we sent them the set lists from the previous three months. If there were any songs, verses or lines censored, nobody ever told me about it and we played all the songs that we intended to play."

There is a logical answer, in that you might say "why do you want the list?" or "you do know you don't get any pre-approval, don't you?" but perhaps Bob gets his set list signed off by all governing territories at each venue he plays.

Dylan doesn't bother to engage with the question of why he was so happy to indulge the Chinese government while Ai WeiWei was being held somewhere unknown, but I'm sure he has a great explanation for that one, too. My guess is he's just waiting for it to clear.

Bob Dylan happy to take requests from Beijing

Bob Dylan has happily agreed to play dates in China with a set list approved by the government.

Sure, it's easy to say things like "remember when Dylan was a protest singer" and "wasn't there a political singer called Bob Dylan a few years back? Whatever happened to him" and "what a craven, spineless lickspittle", but let's not forget what a large market China is.

S&M Rammstein put on the rack

The German government has told shops to shove the new Rammstein album under the counter and not where children's eyes can see it. Not as a musical judgement, either. It's just the sexual violence that makes them queasy:

Officials were offended by the track "Ich tue Dir Weh" ("I Want to Hurt You"), which includes such lines as "Bites, kicks, heavy blows, nails, pincers, blunt saws - Tell me what you want," as well as artwork showing guitarist Richard Kruspe with a masked, naked woman on his knees.

Charming.

There's also worries about a public health message, too:

The German Federal Office for the Examination of Media Harmful to Young People in Bonn also criticized the single "Pussy," stating that it incites listeners to engage in unprotected sexual intercourse despite the risk of AIDS. But the song was not officially part of the ruling.

The video for "Pussy" has also caused some commotion as it shows what appear to be members of the band participating in sex scenes, although sources close to the band insist that the band members were doubled.

That's a lovely case of missing the point - "it's okay, the childish sexism isn't actually the band, it's just people who look like them." Apart from furthering the impression that the sort of band who make stuff like this don't actually have sex in real life, what difference does that make?

Let's just look at that public body name again:

The German Federal Office for the Examination of Media Harmful to Young People

I know that's a translation of the title, but... doesn't it kind of imply that the material it's examining has been prejudged as harmful before they get to it?

Gennaro Castaldo Watch: Face off over the Manics sleeve

The ridiculous and offensive decision by supermarket chains to cover up the sleeve of the new Manics album gives HMV's quotemeister Gennaro Castaldo a chance to stress the youth club's liberal values:

HMV’s Gennaro Castaldo said: “It’s not the retailer’s place to censor the choice that it makes available to its customers.

“The fundamental difference here is that while specialist stores see music first and foremost as an art form, to be respected and appreciated, to supermarkets an album is no different to a tin of baked beans.”

It's not just Gennaro with an opinion here, of course. The supermarkets are keen to defend their decision to hide a figurative painting of a child with a birthmark:

Tesco say the painting, by Jenny Saville and titled State, is “inappropriate”.

Well, that's a firm and clear line, at least. Why is it inappropriate, Tesco?

But a spokesman admitted yesterday he did not know what the image depicted, adding: “We are a family retailer and we feel that it is the right thing to do.”

Ah, yes. A family retailer. Let's have a look at some of the stuff on that family retailer's website, shall we? How about the second-best selling PS3 game Dead Space, for example? Tell us about it, family retailer:

Strategically Dismember the Necromorph enemies - limb by bloody limb.

Ah yes. Fun for all the family there.

And then there's Assasin's Creed:

Experience the power of the Assassin.

Jerusalem, 1191 AD during the brutal times of the Third Crusade. The streets are bustling with activity, but in a few seconds, everything will change - all because of you, Altair, a feared Assassin.

Plan your attacks, strike without mercy, and fight your way to escape.

Experience heavy action. Use a wide range of medieval weapons, and face your enemies in realistic swordfight duels.

Ah, yes, smiting people in the holy land without mercy. You can see why a family who expects that sort of thing from Tesco might be shocked at the Manics album sleeve.

Doubtless Tesco would protest that there's a difference between a record on a CD rack and a bloodthirsty description of a computer game on their website, and they'd be right. Kids are much less likely to be wandering around the shop unaccompanied by an adult who can explain the difference between birthmarks and pretending to be a killer.

The Manics are not happy:

Manics singer James Dean Bradfield called the situation “utterly bizarre.”

He said: “We just saw a much more modern version of Lucian Freud-esque brushstrokes. That’s all we saw.”

So, should we be blaming the supermarkets, then? Maybe not:

Nicola Williamson, Sainsbury’s music buyer, said: “We felt that some customers might consider this particular album cover to be inappropriate if it were prominently displayed on the shelf.

“As such, the album will be sold in a sleeve provided by the publisher.”

Provided by... the publisher? So the label is actually behind the cover-up sleeve. You have to wonder if the record company hadn't turned up offering packets to hide the 'offensive' art from view, if anyone would ever have bothered in the first place.

Eagles clipped

You'll have heard The Eagles' Life In The Fast Lane, of course. Did you manage to listen to it without fainting clean away?

After 40-odd years, Birmingham radio station Eagle 106.9 FM has started to remove an offensive bit from the song:

We’ve been up and down this highway/ haven’t seen a goddamn thing.

Eagle 106.9 program manager Mike Schoenherr, a.k.a. Hurricane Shane, replaced “god” with a snippet of lyric-less music from elsewhere in the song.

This is, in case you hadn't guessed, Birmingham in Alabama, not in the West Midlands.

It's unclear how many people objected to the "god" more than the "damn", if, indeed, anyone objected at all.

See you next Tuesday, US radio tells Britney

Britney Spears' one-woman tribute to Ronnie Barker, If You Seek Amy, is causing American radio stations to spontaneously explode as they try to decide if they can play it or not, what with it sounding a little rude. But the phrase isn't rude, but you could imagine it to be filthy, and once you think it sounds like F-U-C-K me, then you can't not see it like that any more. It's like the hidden arrow in the Fed Ex logo, once someone points it out to you, you're always aware it's there. But what can you do? The phrase isn't filthy. But it is.

Naturally, the US media is known for nothing if not its craven collapse in the face of getting into trouble, and so they're yanking Britney off:

"It's OK to put in on an album, have fun with it, but we're publicly owned, you know?" said Patti Marshall, program director at Cincinnati's Q102, a pop station in a decidedly conservative Midwestern market. "We have a responsibility to the public ... you put this ... out and act like we're all fuddy-duddies, like we're trying to make moral judgments. It's not about us. It's about the mom in the minivan with her 8-year-old."

Ah yes, an eight year old who is familiar enough with both stevedore's language, spelling and wordplay to suddenly ask "but Mummy, what does 'fuck me' mean?". That could be embarrassing. If only Britney had stuck to songs about being hit and womanizers and so on, none of this would ever have happened. No mother driving an eight year old in a minivan is ever going to feel uncomfortable being asked 'when that lady says she'll be your slave, does she mean she's going to give you a pyramid?'

Britney could care less if a few radio stations run shy of playing her new single. After all, what's a slot at 8am on a Cincinnati FM station compared with acres of press coverage you get for releasing a song that sounds a bit like Fuck Me?

The IOC might want to put their fingers in their ears again

The International Olympics Committee - whose response to questions about if China is really opening up like it promised when it was given the Olympics is, pretty much, to stare out the window and hum until the question goes away - might want to ignore this, too: having heard that athletes were downloading pro-Tibet songs from iTunes, the new, cuddly, open-to-question Chinese government, erm, blocked iTunes:

On Monday, expatriate iTunes users living in China began experiencing technical problems with their previously unfettered access.

That was the same day the US-based Campaign for Tibet organisation claimed on its website that "over 40 Olympic athletes in North America, Europe and even Beijing" had downloaded the album.

Apple's customer forums contain numerous examples where users have complained about experiencing these technical problems.

But, hey... did you see the fireworks? Did you? Have you seen the swimming? LOOK AT THE SWIMMING. JUST LOOK AT THE SWIMMING.

We're given to understand that the Chinese authorities have yet to bother with blocking the Zune Store.

China: The Sex Clarke Five will never be invited now

It seems Bjork's decision to shout "Tibet Tibet" while playing Shanghai has frightened the life out of the Chinese government. Yes, although nobody else (bar the odd journalist and some swans) has been bothered by anything Bjork has done for decades, she's finally got a reaction.

The Chinese government are busy guys, repressing left, right and centre, but they've taken steps to ensure that nothing like that ever happens again:

"Any artistic group or individual who have ever engaged in activities which threaten our national sovereignty will not be allowed in," the Ministry of Culture said in a statement on its website.

During performances, entertainers who "threaten national unity", "whip up ethnic hatred", "violate religious policy or cultural norms" or "advocate obscenity or feudalism and superstition", will also be banned, the rules state.

Coldplay have announced plans to drop the song 'Let's Reorganise on Feudalist Lines' from their set, in the hope of being able to play Beijing someday.

Metallica didn't mean for you to listen

Here's a question: if you invite journalists to listen to a playback session, and don't actually ask them to sign a non-disclosure agreement (or even mention that it's meant to be a big secret), should you be surprised when the journalists publish a report on the evening?

Exactly. And yet Metallica were, flying into a squawking rage when they discovered reviews of the music they'd played to journalists were online, and issuing "requests" for take down (which we gather to be of a 'nice-place-shame-if-something-happened' nature) to the websites that were carrying the pieces.

The official explanation is that the songs were "unfinished" and so it would be unfair to review them - although if the songs were so far from ready, why would you play them to people whose jobs are writing about the songs they've been played?

More likely is that the reviews were somewhat lukewarm: Blinded By The Hype saw the Quietus piece before they dropped it to protect their writer:

The Quietus contributor "Bob Mulhouse" is circumspect about the album's prospects, saying, "This album could be good, or it could be mediocre – too much depends on the other four songs to make a call at this point."

Not, perhaps, the ringing endorsement Metallica were hoping for. Maybe the other reviews were more excited, but then - since Metallica have rushed about having all memory of them wiped from the web - we'll never know, will we?

[Thanks to Sebastian Robinson for the story tip]

You scumbag, you maggot...

Interesting piece just popped up on the 10 O'Clock News as it trailed the story about Radio One first banning, then unbanning the word "faggot" on Fairytale Of New York. Huw Edwards read something along the lines of "how the BBC failed to clean up this song" over an appearance by Kirsty MacColl and The Pogues on Top of the Pops.

Trouble is, they showed the performance where MacColl had been forced to sing "Merry Christmas you ass" instead of "arse".

They've actually just shown in again in the report itself, claiming it was the "classic" version rather than an bowlderised version, even though it, erm, was a version which had been edited on the instructions of the BBC. Albeit twenty years ago.

MIA video MIA from MTV

MIA is unhappy. The reason? Why, bullshit, of course. It's always bullshit. Bullshit and haters.

On her blog, she fumes that MTV have rejected her self-revised version of the Paper Planes video and made it even more MTV-audience friendly (although judging by the average MTV show, to really fit the needs of their audience it would have to feature a former America's Next Top Model contestant driving a car with a superwoofer the size of Kansas into a shopping trolley full of dwarves). MIA sticks the caps lock on:

. I MADE THE PAPER PLANES VIDEO. I MADE IT HOW THEY WANTED. NO VIOLENCE. AMBIGUOUS. MTV - FRIENDLY. NOW TODAY, I CHECK YOUTUBE AND SEE THE LEAKED MTV PAPER PLANES VIDEO UP FOR THE FIRST TIME. I CLICKED ON IT AND OUT COMES THIS FUCKED UP MESS WITH DOUBLE-TRACKED BULLSHIT MESS

WHO THE THE FUCK IS DOING THIS TO ME?????

THE VIDEO WAS SABOTAGED FOR WHATEVER REASON AND IM DISAPPOINTED THAT MTV HAS HAD SUCH A MAJOR ROLE IN THIS. THE BLOGGERS WHO ARE LAZY ENOUGH TO FOLLOW THE MTV LINK AND POST UP AND COMMENT ON THE SOUND WHEN THAT HASNT BEEN COMPROMISED AND THE GUNSHOT ARENT REPLACED AND EDITED MAKES ME SAD. I DID FIGHT FOR THE SOUND , BECAUSE PUTTING MEANINGS IN YOUR VIDEOS, IN MY OPINION IS A DYING ART. I CAN FILM MY SELF ANYWHERE ANYTIME AND LET YOU KNOW THE TRUTH , BUT THE SONG IS WHAT I WANTED TO PRESERVE IN THIS CASE.

TO ALL MY FANS, LOOK, ITS LIKE THIS,
IM LEARNING THINGS ABOUT THIS WORLD WITH YOU, I WANT YOU TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS TO ME , I WANT YOU TO SEE HOW PEOPLE WILL SIT AND SPEND ALL SUNDAY TEARIN ME DOWN FOR SOMETHING I DIDNT EVEN MAKE OR PUT OUT, SO PEOPLE WELCOME TO MODERN DAY PROPAGANDA MESSAGE MANGLING.

The impartial observer might decide that MIA's more than able to mangle a message without the intercession of the good offices of MTV, but that could be besides the point.

She also claims she was "bullied" by David Letterman:

WHEN LETTERMAN CENSORD ME IT WAS WAC OF COURSE!!!!!! , AND YES I FELT SOOOOOO BAD FOR WHAT THEY DID TO MY SOUND. I WAS ABEL TO SOUND CHECK FOR THAT SHOW AND THEY LET ME SOUND CHECK FINE, THEN ON THE ACTUAL TAPING MY SOUND WAS SOOO DIFFERENT FROM WHAT ID AGREED, AS SOON AS I OPENED MY MOUTH THE DIFFERENCE BLEW ME AWAY, I FELT I WAS GETTING BULLIED ON NATIONAL TELEVISON, AND I COULDNT EVEN REACH OUT TO MY LABELS OR MY MANAGEMENT TO HELP, SINCE THEY ARE NEW TO WHAT HAPPENS TO AN ARTIST LIKE ME IN MAINSTEAM AMERICAN CULTURE.

The sneaking suspicion, of course, is that if MIA really was an artist whose message was so offensive to mainstream American culture, she wouldn't have been on David Letterman's show in the first place, regardless of where the sound balance was set.

Morrissey doesn't appreciate a joke

Kristeenyoung, who had been enjoying support slots on Morrissey's US tour, are enjoying the slots no more. Kristeen from the band made a little gag about Mozzer, he heard and didn't crack a smile:

"Morrissey gives good head, I mean, er, cunnilingus..."

That, apparently, was enough for the band to be kicked off the tour.

Kristeen blogs about the event:

My band, KRISTEENYOUNG, have been asked to leave the Morrissey tour. Although I have been advised not to respond or issue a statement, my feelings are that I must. We have been asked to leave because of something I said on stage at The Hammerstein Ballroom, in New York City, this past Tuesday night. Unfortunately, the statement has been perceived as being profane (when, actually, one of the two words in question is a scientific term found in junior high, health class text books, and the other word, I feel most would agree, is lightweight slang) or defamatory. What I said was part of a thread of stage statements I made throughout our set. They were metaphorical and overstated to make an artistic point. The "offending" statement, in particular, was in no way a literal statement, and was very much in keeping with the tone of my writing in general. I reach for beauty and intelligence in my lyrics, but try to retain a bit of the everyday in them. Maybe the statement was a bit TOO everyday. Maybe I misjudged… but I meant no harm. I love Morrissey with all of my heart, soul, body, spirit, to the core of my existence and always will. These will be the only words I will ever write or speak on the subject ever again. Please don't ask for an interview or e-mail me with questions. Thanks to those who understand and who are brave enough to say so.

The band's fans are responding with suggestions that Morrissey was behaving in a homophobic - rather than humourless - fashion, which is clearly misguided; the real scandal is the "advice" given to Young that she keeps her mouth shut on the subject. Mozzer comes out of this looking rather pathetic

Mouse moves Machine

The planned Machine Head's date in Anaheim has been canned after Disney announced new rules covering heavy metal gigs at the House of Blues. Disney has previously banned bands on the basis of their name alone, but this is the first time Disney have allowed tickets to go on sale before changing its mind.

AT&T snip the 'looza

AT&T made a pretty play for the young-ish, web-hip market earlier this month by webcasting Lollapalooza sets.

Up to a point: it turns out somehow AT&T's webcast mislaid Eddie Vedder's anti-Bush speech during Pearl Jam's set. (And yet they left the music in.)

Funnily enough, this is the same AT&T which happily handed over details of thousands and thousands of its customers private phone calls to the National Security Council, even although none of them were suspected of any crime and there had been no request through the courts for the information. By a strange coincidence.

Stefani agrees to put it away

In order to try and stop a bunch of Muslim students from campaigning to have her Malaysia gig cancelled, Gwen Stefani has agreed she won't wear 'revealing' outfits onstage.

The student union's vice president, Abdul Muntaqim, told the Associated Press: "Her performance and her attire are not suitable for our culture.

"It promotes a certain degree of obscenity and will encourage youth to emulate Western lifestyle."

We're not sure that simply covering up her belly button is going to satisfy anyone under those circumstances - surely even her stupid houndstooth cap, while demure, is dangerously Western?

Rozalita Abdul Rahman from concert promoters Maxis Communications Bhd said: "Whether it concerns the singer's attire or the security for the concert, we will abide by the rules and guidelines and assure that nothing will go wrong."

Siti Zaleha Baba, a senior official at the Malaysian Culture Arts and Heritage Ministry said: "There is no problem so far. [The concert promoter] has told us what clothes she will wear for the concert."

Mind you, everyone thought that PJ Proby was going to be a safe bet back in the day.

McDonalds get knickers in a Twista

McDonalds are discovering that being gig promoters isn't quite the easy job they thought it was.

Instead of having a glorious bit of shiny PR, promoting new music and all that, the corporation has wound up with a mess in its own carpark, having invited Twista to take part, and then withdrawn that invitation quite sharpish:

McDonald's spokesman William Whitman said the company "respects free speech and expression".

"We want to ensure these free concerts are fun as well as appropriate for all of our customers," he added.

In other words, having announced the gigs, someone at the company listened to Twista, and heard a lot of shouting about drugs, and came over a little like Morgan Spurlock's liver.

It's not just that they've managed to make themselves look like they really are run by a bungling clown, and opened themselves to charges of censorship, as Twista has found an even better way to turn the knife:

Twista - real name Carl Terrell Mitchell - told the Associated Press the annoucement was unexpected after "hearing from certain people in McDonald's that they were fans of the music and backed me".

He added that he cleans up his act for mainstream shows, and had intended to do so for the Chicago date.

"I was actually going to have a school with a choir come sing the song Hope with me.

"So now McDonald's have to tell the kids that they can't perform," said the musician.

McDonalds break the shiny, shiny showbiz dreams of schoolchildren.

Ba-da-ba-da-dum, I'm lovin' it.